Futurama

Fan Fiction

Anthology of Interest III
By Steven Gurman

Int. Planet Express Random ROom

The What-If-Machine is Surrounded by the entire Planet Express Crew including Scruffy.

Professor

Good News Everyone today is the Annual Anthology of Interest. A fun filled day with, mass amount of announcing, and tons of fake stories that end upwith death and Sorrow.

Point to the Calendar. January 4 Says Anthology of Interest. January 5th says Mass Suicide Booth Day.

PROFESSOR

OOOO What a fun filled week.

FRY

(Obnoxiously Waving Hand)

Oh Oh Pick me Pick me oh oh.

PROFESSOR

Yes the annoying young lad with the oranges in his hair.

FRY

Yes, I would like to ask the What-If Machine a question.

PROFESSOR

What the hell would you like to ask?  You already know what life would be like if it was a video game. You Nerd.

FRY

I would like to know what if I was a robot.

PROFESSOR

What-If-Machine Fry would like to know what if he was a robot.

Int.Planet Express Random Machine Room

Fry walks in and no ones in the room. He looks around.

FRY

(To himself outloud)

Maybe if I use the Reverse Fossilitation machine on my self I can become a Robot. No better RoboCop. Wait Wait Even Better the Terminator.Hehehehe.

Fry puts a small loop in a string and places it over the Electric Handle to turn on the machine. He walk over to the metal table and pulls the string. Electicity starts rifling through him. The Electicity stops. Nothing happened.

FRY

What the hell I thought through some no way possible miracle of science it would turn me into an unstoppable machine. Sent Foward in time to help the love life of one eyed lucky lady.

Int. PLanet Express Meeting Room

The Whole Crew is sitting at the table.

PROFESSOR

Good News everyone we have recieved a shipment of old weapons circa 1990.

The Professor pulls out a gun. One shot fires quickly. Everyone looks around Zoidberg is still. Everyone Gasps.

ZOIDBERG

(In Annoying weird sound he makes)

Rarrrrrr. Oh you guys you should of seen your faces it was worth a whole warm meal.

PROFESSOR

Not just a warm meal 5 no food for five days.

ZOIDBERG

What am I talking to a brick wall no humor you have.

LEELA

Fry whats wrong with your eye?

Fry has a weird cut up eye which now is all red and glowing.

FRY

What? What are you talking about I'm fine.

AMY

Here look in this mirror.

Fry looks into the mirror.

FRY

Yes I am the terminator it worked.

HERMES

Oh by the way fry can u pick up Cubert and Dwight.  Take the company hovercar.

Ext. School of New New York

Dwight and Cubert are standing out side of their school waiting to get pick up.  A hover car comes flying out of no where and slams on the breaks in front of the school with the window down.

FRY

Come with me you want to Live.

CUBERT

Alright Mr.Schwarzenegger.

DWIGHT

More Like Schwarzeloser

CUBERT

Good one Dwight.

FRY

Alright just get in.

Ext. Random Street

Fry and Bender are walking down a street talking

FRY

Ya know this whole being a robot is as cool as you'd think. Yeah you get to have a cool saying every now and then but everything else. Eh

BENDER

Yeah but you get to beat up chumps out of stuff like these guys.

Its a Girl Scout table selling cookies.

BENDER

Arrrr Give me everything you got.

FRY

Yeah everything.

Bender grabs all the cookies and Money.

FRY

Bender were invincible.

GIRL SCOUT

I beg to differ.

The Girl Scout pulls out a gun and shoot Fry. Fry Drops. Girl Scout takes off her wig.

GIRL SCOUT

I'm with the P.F.T.W.O.G.S. or other known as Police For the Wellfare of girl Scouts.

FRY

Bender come closer I need to tell you something.

Bender goes right up to his face Fry gets up a little.

FRY

I'll Be back. haha that was awesome Ughhhhhhhhhhhh

Bender hovered over Frys body holds up his hands.

BENDER

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

INT.PLANET EXPRESS RANDOM MACHINE ROOM

The Whole Crew is still standing around the machine.

PROFESSOR

Well that was a horrible written parody of a movie done a 1000 years ago. This Machine makes me sick.

The whole crew turn around to see Fry trying to throw the looped string onto the Handle of the Reverse Fossilitation Machine. Everyone runs over to him.

HERMES

You god damn idiot.

Fry gets pulled off the machine and they all go back to the machine.

ZOIDBERG

Master all my life I wanted to know what it would be like if Zoidberg was the Head Honcho of Planet Express and the Cooliest.

PROFESSOR

I'd Rather be Dead.

ZOIDBERG

That can be arranged maybe?

PROFESSOR

Shut up! But I will ask the question since you have never had a turn at the How many ways we can watch people die machine.

PROFESSOR

Zoidberg wants to know what if He was the Cooliest and the Head Honcho of Planet Express.

INT. PLANET EXPRESS MEETING ROOM

The whole Crew is sitting around the table. Zoidberg Walks into the room.

EVERYONE

Yay its Zoidberg our Favorite Boss.

ZOIDBERG

Please don't I don't deserve that applause. Anyway Good News Everyone. since me becoming the owner of Planet Express and the entire world I have made some Strict rules. But I know our are all my friends and we will all have to work through these strict rules.


HERMES

Zoidberg you lousy piece of garbage resign your no good at this Job and you treat everyone like crap.

ZOIDBERG

Do I? Do I really my friend Hermes. Take him away.

Three Guards carry off Hermes away.

Int. Hidden Room in Empty Locker(FEATURED IN kING AND FRY)

Everyone except Zoidberg and Hermes are in the secret room.

BENDER

We need to do something about this creepo Zoidberg.

LEELA

He's taking over earth making every do slavelabor.

PROFESSOR

Good News everyone the professor has made a machine to save the day.

FRY

What is it? huh huh

PROFESSOR

Its a Gun. A high Powered Rifle Laser.

LEELA

I'll do it i'll Kill President Zoidberg.

AMY

In an hour isn't Zoidberg going out to walk nibbler that he stole from you Leela.

LEELA

Yeah thats when we should do it.

PROFESSOR

This is the perfect chance to use the Angry Dome.

Int. Angry Dome

Leela is there ready to shoot Zoidberg walks out of Planet Express with Nibbler.

LEELA

I'm sorry Zoidberg

Bam Zoidberg Falls down.

Int. Random Machine Room

Everyone Standing in front of the What-If-Machine.

ZOIDBERG

What gives you guys killed me. I also get the suckiest and shortest What-If story ever.

PROFESSOR

Well Sucky does match your describtion.  Any way any one that I like have a question that they would like to ask the What-If Machine.

AMY

I would like to know what if I was was somehow forced to live with the mutants.

PROFESSOR

What-If Machine Amy would like to know what if she was forced to live with the mutants.

Int.Planet Express Television ROom

Linda and Morbo are on the T.V

LINDA

Now in Mutant News. New study's results have come in that the Asian Race of thought to be humans are actually mutants.

Morbo

Morbo will miss Fortune Cookies very much.

LINDA

Me too there has been a nation wide round up of all asians to be relocated to the sewers.

INT.PLANET EXPRESS TELEVISION ROOM

The whole crew is there.

BENDER

Up Amy your boned.

AMY

Oh no how could this happen I'm hideous in a matter of seconds.

PROFESSOR

Science thats what happened Amy.

AMY

How come Leela gets to stay and i have to go. Thats bullshit.

LEELA

Amy why do you have a problem with it now you never had in the past.

AMY

Because now it involves me.

Police barge in and grab Amy. Fry walks into the room. He has tape on his eyes slanting them side ways to look of asian descent.

FRY

Ar Rook R-I'm R-Amy

SMITTY

Theres another one.

The Police grab fry

FRY

No it was a joke see.

Takes off the tape.

Smitty

Holy shit he's a transformer.

Url

Maybe he a more intelligent Mutant.

INT.Sewer Village

Fry and Amy are walking down a wooden path and meet up with Munda and Morris.

MUNDA

Amy, Fry, Leela told me everything you guys are welcome to stay with us until you get this all sorted out or when someone flushes down a house.

Morris

Ha-Ha Good Luck. I needed 1 nail for 2 years finally got one then hit it wrong and bent it.

MUNDA

Morris were suposed to encourage them.

INT.Turanga's House

They are all sitting around drinking tea or something that looks like tea.

AMY

So how long have you guys lived down here.

MUNDA

All our lives. We were born here as mutants and we will die here as mutants.

FRY

Interesting so how do we get out of here.

MORRIS

It depends where do you want to go?

AMY

Planet Express

MORRIS

Oh that's easy just make a right, right past our house. Walk for about 5 minutes then you will see a ladder going up it leads you right into Planet Express.

FRY

Thanks you scary mutant parents of leela.

Munda and Morris

Your Welcome

Int. PLanet Express Ship room

Fry and Amy get up from the the sewers the professor is standing there.

PROFESSOR

I have been expecting you. What have both of you learned from this little adventure.

FRY

Don't be Asian

PROFESSOR

Correct

AMY

Koochinayway

INT. RANDOM MACHINE ROOM

They are all staning around the What-If Machine.

PROFESSOR

Well that was a distgusting, racist piece of shit story. I think somehow Zoidberg with his question screwed up the machine.

ZOIDBERG

I'm sorry.

PROFESSOR

Well there goes another year of uninteresting stories and big wastes of time.

HERMES

And there goes to me never getting picked.

Scruffy

and there goes to another year of not getting picked

FRY

And there goes to another year of not getting picked

HERMES

You did get picked this time and in fract every year.

FRY

Up Sucks for you.

THE END

Buddies