Knock knock knock.
The knocking had become more urgent.
Knock knock knock knock knock.
“Who the hell is... what time is it?”
Rolling over, and looking blearily at her clock on the nightstand, she made out that it was 9:20AM. 'There had BETTER be a good reason for waking me up on my day off!' she thought to herself. Forcing herself up and out of bed, she put on her monocle (after fumbling around looking for it), stumbled through her apartment, and went to the door.
Knock knock knock.
“Whoever this is, is gonna...”
Looking through the small fish eye lens in the door, she made out a shock of red hair, a crooked nose, and that smile... her ex-husband has come to visit again. Odds are he wanted something. And it's never good...
“Oh, Lord... hang on, Fry!”
Opening the door, the delivery boy let himself in without invitation, and she closed it. He was visibly excited, and was highly animated in his movements.
“Leela! I'm so HAPPY!”
“It's just gas, Fry, it'll go away.”
“No, really! I am so happy! Besides, I went before I came over...”
“Greeeaaat... good to know. Let me guess... Bender let you in on ANOTHER get rich quick scheme? What is it this time... Planned Parenthood for Omicronians so you can sell popplers again?”
Fry just gave her a blank stare, and quickly wrote it down as another great idea to get investors excited in. Crumpling up the note and shoving it in his pocket, he explained why he came to visit.
“I can FINALLY do it, Leela! I can PROVE IT.”
Patting him on the head like a little child, she teased him.
“Oh, congratulations! You've learned your alphabet!”
“Yeah, no, wait...” Confused, he collected his thoughts and started again. “No, Leela! I can PROVE that I am the most important person in the universe! And you are...”
“Fry, how many times have we been through this? Bender obviously slipped you something! No offense, but if you honestly think you're even more important than a brain slug, you... wait... you don't HAVE a brain slug on you do... why are you drooling?”
Following his line of sight, she looked down to see too much of an exposed globe of flesh that had escaped an unbuttoned night shirt. One quick cover up and a punch later...
“Owww! Come on! It's not like I haven't seen it before!”
“Shut up and hold this on your eye.” Handing him a dishtowel wrapped around ice, she sat down at the kitchen table, and invited him to join her. “So, you were saying, before this... distraction?”
“I can prove to you I'm the most important person in the universe! AND YOU belong RIGHT BESIDE ME.”
“God damn it, Fry! If this is another one of your crayon and scrap paper explanations again, I swear I'll give you a matching...”
Smiling smugly, Fry slid a small chip across the table to her.
“What in robot hell is this?”
“What's it LOOK like? It's a Nibblonian data chip!”
“I know what it is, but... where did you get this? Does Nibbler know? We should...”
“Just check it out!”
“N-no... I... these are banned on Earth! People say there's a conspiracy theory set up by the government saying these things will...” She trailed off, worried. She slowly pushes it back toward Fry.
“C'mon, Leela! Check it out! What are ya, chicken? Buck-buck-buck...”
“I am NOT a chicken... I just...” Taking the chip back, she put it into her wrist-thingy. “I just, uh... I don't know what to look for!”
“Oh, trust me, you'll know when you see it!” The smug look had become downright cocky. “Look for our names...”
Scrolling through the file list, she took a deep breath when she indeed found a file named 'FRY, PHILLIP/ LEELA, TURANGA'. A cold sweat broke out all over her and she involuntarily trembled.
“Open it, Leela! Open it!”
Opening the first file, the shock ran over her like a overloaded, overweight Doop transport.
“Oh... Oooooh, Looooord....”
Fry carried her to the couch and covered her in a blanket after she passed out.
“All right Fry, this had better be important.What couldn't wait, that you had to pull me away from recalibrating the engines? This had better not involve the toilet again today...”
“Well, I wanna make sure you see this, before the time skip thingy happens again.” Fry said as he took her by the hand, and dragged her eagerly toward the bridge. Pointing out the front window, he positioned her, so even with her one eye she couldn't miss it. “Look, Leela! Look!”
The cyclops read the message, blinked, rubbed her eye, and then read it out loud...
“I LOVE YOU, LEELA”, she choked. “I... I love you, Leela...” She shook her head to clear her thoughts. “Oh Lord, this had to be Brannigan, or some sick joke from Bender. I...”
“No, Leela! I made it!” he whimpered. “I made it myself! Honest!”
“Fry, I honestly wish I can say I believe you! But you're just incapable of...”
“Let me prove it!” He got behind the control panel and sat in the pilot's seat. Slowly the ship maneuvered closer to the love note in the stars, and the gravity pump activated. “Here, watch...” A star was slowly moved out of, and back into position. “NOW do you believe me?”
“Fry... I... I don't know what to say...” She choked back tears.
“Please, please say you will at least give me a chance!” he pled. “I promise I'll do my best to make you happy. I'll even bathe on a regular basis, and try to mature for you... well, I mean I'll try.”
“Oh, oh Fry!” her tears flowed freely now. “Of course! You got your chance! I've heard the old saying of moving the sun, moon, and stars for someone... but you... you really DID it!”
“Uh, I'm kinda confused...” he patted Leela's back as she threw herself at him and hugged him tightly and buried her face in his neck. “You're crying! I thought you might be happy.”
Holding him at arms length, she smiled. “They're happy tears, doofus!” She sniffed and wiped her eye. “You got your chance, Fry,” she drew him close to her again in an embrace. “You got your chance...”
“Uuuugh... my head,” Leela slowly sat up on the couch holding her forehead. “Feels like a planet landed on it.”
“Lay down, lay down.” Fry gently forced her to recline and covered her again with the blanket. “Yeah, those Nibblonian mind recordings programs will do a number on ya.”
“I had the weirdest dream... I dreamt you and I saw a love note in the...”
“That was no dream,” he smiled lovingly, and brushed her hair away from her face. “That was no dream...”
“Fiona, are you quite sure?”
“Yes, Lord Nibbler. It was 'reported missing' earlier this week. The Mighty One had accessed the files early last Earth night. And The Other had accessed them less than twenty four Earth hours later.”
The elder Nibblonian gave his female compatriot a skeptical look. He was technically in the position of watching over the two most important beings in the universe, and this could be considered meddling in the affairs of Universal Security. However, despite what he considered a setback, and her own position in Nibblonian hierarchy, he had developed an incredible trust in her, and decided to hear her out.
“Just why did you decide Fry should come into the possession of one of our data chips containing files on himself and Leela?”
“Well, let's just say 'sometimes, fate needs a little push.'” she grinned. “It was obvious that things not only needed to be sped up for 'Doomsday Ultima', but also desperately needed to be mended as well.”
“Did it ever occur to you,” Nibbler teased her as a teacher would scold their star pupil, “that Earth looks for any and all signals on and around Earth, not of Doop origin, as a matter of 'security'? And that said chip sends off a strong enough signal to reach Eturnium in less than a half an Earth hour every time it is used?” he saw the color drain from her muzzle, and continued. “Never the less, all chips in my possession on the field are encrypted and disguised as to sound and appear as normal space anomalies... it may sound like space whales fornicating, or something...” he smirked. “but nothing like anything they'd be looking for. You, as Earthicans would say, 'lucked out'.”
“Lord Nibbler, please, hear me out!” she pled. “Do you honestly think we can't have the union of the two intact and have the great prophecy come to pass?”
“Their marriage is of little consequence to the Great prophecy...”
“But the prophets say there are another 110 Earth years left for them to fulfill! Do you seriously consider re-freezing the Mighty One and thawing as needed? And what of The Other?”
“It is true, they would be quite old indeed if this were the case...”
“Then it is of dire importance to rebuild their union and procreate...”
Nibbler just guffawed, and waved her hand to stop. Collecting himself, he explained his interruption.
“Trust me, on Earth, it is no longer of great importance in many's eyes to be married to do that!”
“True.” she agreed. “But the question is this: Would SHE? I think not. And The Mighty One would most certainly feel as if he were doing the correct thing, to be bound to her in matrimony, if such a consummation leading to procreation took place.”
Nibbler and Fiona both pondered in silence for many hours, pouring over old prophecies, writings, and a few known future events. Finally, Nibbler slowly placed a scroll down, and looked at her, and whispered.
“Surely, you couldn't possibly be thinking their union would bring to fruition the One to come after all the... the One who...”
“Yes. The Mighty-Other. I am sure of it. But if it is to be of this...” she trailed off.
“Indeed. You have three Earth months to have this happen.” he turned to walk away, but stopped and looked over his shoulder. “But, it must be of THEIR own doing. Let them see, and decide for themselves.”
“Fry... oh,God, Fry...” she sobbed. “I- I'm so sorry! I didn't know!”
“It's Okay, those time skip doo-hickies messed with us all.” Fry reassured her, as he watched her fidget with the data chip. “You had no idea.”
“But I thought you tricked me, or drugged me or something.” she whispered. “How could you keep loving me and forgiving me?”
“Easy! You're Leela!” He took the chip from her and walked over to her computer. “Hey! I got something else for you to see! It's about me!”
“Fry,” she placed her head in her hands and groaned, “My head is killing me! Can't it wait?”
“But, but, it's IMPORTANT!” he pouted, sticking out his bottom lip.
“Ugh, FINE.” She wiped her eye and blew her nose. “Please tell me the pain will diminish over time...”
“Well, maybe kinda sorta... here, look...” He placed the chip in her computer and turned the monitor so they both could see it. “Found this one first... giant brains taking over the world, and I defeated them! Nibbler and a bunch of other cute fur-balls called me 'The Mighty One!'”
“Let me get this straight... YOU... defeated BRAINS.” Leela got up and stared at him, her arms akimbo. “Seriously... THIS will be worth the headache so I can laugh at you and kick your ass, Fry!”
“Huh? What? No no no...” he shook his head to clear his thoughts. “ not like geeks or nerds, or even Wernstroms, but real, very large squishy floating brains! Like from inside a head!”
“All right, 'Mighty One',” she asked sarcastically, “If you saved the Earth from giant brains, where did they all go? Back home to their planet? And another time skip, because I don't remember...”
“Uh, no, Nibbler and his people ate them all, and no to skips in time. I guess the brains made everyone so dumb I was also the smartest person on the Planet...” he could see he was loosing her. “Uh, just lemme open up the file...”
“Oh, Fry! PLEASE! My head is pounding! Can't it wait? I mean...”
The next thing they noticed, they were both laying on the floor with excruciating migraines, but now sharing the knowledge of yet another lost and forgotten segment of their lives.
Fiona jumped at the sound, and blearily looked at the monitor. Another signal came in from Earth. She rubbed her two eyes, and blinked the eye atop her eye-stalk furiously. Focusing in, she took notice, and saved the information to her hard drive. She seriously wondered how the Mighty One and The Other could handle such pain with their minimal capabilities given them with their bodies. This made... twenty seven files viewed in less than six days? Even a Nibblonian had to admit that was quite the accomplishment.
Yawning, and scratching an itch behind her head with her leg, she stumbled out of her chair and left her post when she heard her relief come in. His smoking only added to the stinging in her eyes from staying up so long. She wished he never picked up that damned nasty habit from those primitive humans.
“Yet another file opened by the Mighty One?” Nibbler asked, with his teeth clenching his pipe. “He is quite the glutton for punishment, is he not?”
“Indeed.” she agreed. “And the Other as well. The last fifteen came from her home computer. More than from The Mighty One's, or The Other's primitive wrist-thingy, as she so cutely calls it.” She tried to stifle a yawn, and failed miserably. “This was file number twenty seven, Lord Nibbler.”
“Twenty seven? Eturnium be damned! And in how long of a time frame have they achieved this admirable feat?”
“It will be six Earth days in just under five Earth hours.” She stumbled to the door. “I leave this in your very capable hands, my Lord.”
“Thank you, Fiona... you must now go get rest.” He sat down at the computer and got situated as she made her exit. Adjusting his glasses, he looked at the last file sent...
“Oh Galactic Space Entity be praised! Surely this will change The Other's mind about The Mighty One!” He clapped his hands and rubbed them happily together.
The early morning sun came streaking in through Leela's window, and shone directly on her face. Grumbling, and trying to wave it away in her sleep, she slowly woke up and realized it was Monday morning. Her head was pounding... worse than 'when Brannigan slipped something in her drink' pounding. She slowly sat up, held her head and groaned in pain. Gathering her bearings, she realized she never made it to bed last night. She was on her living room floor. Worse yet, Fry was asleep on her sofa. 'Did we...did HE...' she thought, then remembered again the events of the last week. Fumbling around for her monocle, she found it, put it on, and stumbled to the phone. Dialing a number, she waited for it to connect...
“Damn you, Fry. This is all your fault....”
Her tirade against the man asleep next to her, was cut short by the Rastafarian bureaucrat of their employer answering on the other end.
“Planet Express, where our... Oh! It's you, Leela! Geez, mon! You look worse than a drunk green snake in a Jamaican rum distillery!”
“Thanks, Hermes. I feel worse too. Look it, I'm not coming in to work today. I think Fry and I, uh, came down with something...and... uuuuh...” she fumbled for an excuse.
“Fry's there too?” Hermes winked at her, and chuckled. “So, you're both 'sick' huh? I understand! But you two need to take a rest from all that lovin's! You two looked terrible all last week, too! When you sleep together, sometimes you really need to SLEEP! That's ONE thing I can relate to! But just make sure you make it back to work tomorrow!”
“Yeah, got it. Thanks, Hermes.” Leela hung up the phone before he could joke about their extra curricular activities in the bedroom, but not before she heard him yell to Bender and Zoidberg to get on the ship and make the deliveries for the day. Rubbing her temples, she glared over at Fry, angry to think Hermes thought they had been doing things as if they were still a couple of hormone riddled teenagers. Going over to the couch where he lay sleeping, she cracked him as hard as she could across his ass, and woke him up.
“Get the hell up, Fry! It's 9 o'clock!”
“Whu-huh-wha? Oh snap! I'm gonna be late for...” he got up and took in his surroundings. “Oh, yeah, right. I'm here! WE'RE gonna be late for...”
“Fry, can it. I called us in sick.”
“Then why'd you wake me up? Come ON, Leela! I'm tired! My head hurts!” He laid back down and turned his back toward her.
“Don't you DARE go back to sleep, Fry! You've got some serious explaining to do!” She forced him to sit upright, as she sat down beside him.
“'-Splaining?” he yawned. “Wha-about?”
“You Kong Donkey!” she waved the Nibblonian chip under his nose. “About US, of course!”
“Oooh! That! Uh, let me...” he reached for the chip. “I think there's something that can explain everything that we...”
“Oh, no, Mister!” she clenched the chip tightly in her fist and held it out of his reach. “No more of this today! I want to hear YOU tell me what's going on! You know more than I do, what's going on. Start talking Fry!”
“Uh, can we just play Captain and Delivery boy, and you can abuse me more?”
“No, I'm not letting you get off that easy this time.” she dropped the chip down her cleavage, and noticed him ogling and rubbing his hands together. “Try it, and it's another trip to Hand Crafters. And then you'll STILL be needing to talk to me. So- talk.”
“Allll riiiight... Uh, so Leela, how's the weather? Been kinda...” he stopped short when the cyclops grabbed him by the collar with one hand and and reared back with the other one clenched. “Eeep!”
“It's like this! Nibbler is like a gajillion years old, and there's some prophecy about someone to save the universe and he figured out it was me, but I would die before I was needed so he froze me and you thawed me out, and he figured you were the other person they needed, so he staged it so you'd take him in as a pet to watch over both of us and he's wiped everyone's brains clean so they forget everything but me, because of my special mind, but no one believes me anyways and...”
Leela's eye widened in shock, as Fry's story fell in line with the few things she had checked out on her own while he had slept. A cold chill went down her spine, and she shivered.
“Whoa, whoa whoa...” she gently placed her hand on his lap. “take a breath. I... I believe you...”
Nibbler paced up and down the length of the small room, occasionally glancing at the computer monitor for any new updates. Nothing. Nothing an hour ago, nothing four hours ago, nothing at all for his entire watch, as a matter of fact. The old Earthican saying 'A watched pot never boils' suddenly had more clarity, as he had watched eagerly all night, and was rewarded with nothing. The room was filled with a haze from his now nervous puffing. He pulled out his smoking apparatus and eyed it... he had nervously been chewing on the end, and had destroyed a perfectly fine antique specimen of a meerschaum pipe. 'Damn it, this didn't come cheap' he thought to himself, as he shrugged, and chewed it up and swallowed it down. Releasing a satisfying burp, he turned to see Fiona come in, holding two steaming cups of a breakfast beverage.
“Rough night, Lord Nibbler?” she handed him a cup, and he sipped it gingerly.
“Indeed. It was as exciting as watching molecules move at zero Kelvin.” he sipped the beverage again. “Hmmm, not bad.”
“Nibblonian hot Wakeytime Cuddle-brew 'not bad'? You have certainly spent entirely too much time on Earth, drinking that primitive noxious beverage they call 'coffee'. 'Not bad', indeed!” she teased him. “Are there any new updates to report of the Mighty One and The Other's usage of the chip?”
“Nothing!?” She dropped her drink on the table and spilled it slightly. “You can not be serious!”
“Verily, it is true. Not a single view.”
“Well, perhaps after partaking in a few dozen files they have decided to relieve themselves of any further pain at the time. Also, it is the first day of their work week. They should be at their employer. Perhaps they shall view more tonight when there is privacy...”
“No. I think not. Look at what our sensors have sent.” he turned the monitor so both of them could view it more readily. “They are currently in the company of one another...”
“See? Then there is nothing to...” she was cut short as Nibbler highlighted more information.
“They are indeed together... but they never left for work. They never left her apartment! This is certainly not like The Other! Not like her at all!” he started pacing again, worriedly. “I... I think it is time for me to return to Earth, and to personally examine and survey the subjects myself.”
“But, Lord Nibbler! You said you'd give me three Earth months to see if I can get them together! I...” Fiona was cut short by Nibbler gently waving his hand.
“I assure you I will not convince or coerce the two into any union...” he turned to leave for his ship. “But, I am almost certain there will be many questions that will be asked... and will need to be answered.”
“NIBBLER! How COULDyou!?” the purple hair flew around in the air as she spun back at him in a rage. “You- you just can't match us up like two animals and mate them for your personal profit!”
“Personal profit? Leela, I assure you that the fate of the universe is dependent on the conception of your...” Nibbler was cut short by Leela snapping back at him.
“My eggs!” she held her lower abdomen. “MY EGGS! They are MINE to do with as I please! And if Fry and I aren't enough to help you, perhaps you could have ASKED...”
“Leela, please...” the Nibblonian pled.
“Bad! BAD NIBBLER!” she scolded him while poking a finger in his belly.
“Perhaps Ken was right in telling me Human husbandry was a difficult...”
“It was a joke, to try and diffuse the situation!”
“Diffuse? Where's the bomb!?” Fry looked around the apartment in a panic.
“Never mind, Fry.” she sighed, and rubbed her forehead. “If anything, instead of looking for a bomb, you should be looking for the huge EGG Nibbler laid...”
“Ooooh no... I'm not gonna hatch another anything from an egg! I love Mr. Peppy and all, but...”
“Fry, the expression 'laying an egg' means...” she was cut short by Nibbler shaking his head and laying a hand on her.
“Please, Leela, not now. Your headache would only get worse. Now, is it possible that we three can talk about this like rational, intelligent adults?”
Leela just looked at Nibbler, and slowly turned to Fry, who was giggling to himself, while poking and playing with a small tuft of fur that had come off of Nibbler's back. She then slowly turned back at Nibbler, glared, and pointed dramatically at Fry.
“Very well, we can talk this over like rational, intelligent adults... AND Fry.”
“Yay!” he looked up from his furball/toy. “I'm included. See, Leela? I CAN be useful... uh, what do I have to do?”
Leela rolled her eye, looked at Nibbler, and looked at the Nibblonian data chip she had been absent mindedly playing with in her hand. She then flushed slightly and unknowingly spoke out loud what she was thinking.
“By the looks of it, you'll need to do only one thing... at least you're kind of decent at that...”
“So... what's it again about this 'Nissan Altima' thing you...”
“It's 'Doomsday Ultima', Mighty One!” Nibbler corrected Fry, for what seemed like the millionth time. It is NOT a primitive motorized vehicle from your time!”
“But... but I thought you wanted Leela and me to 'do it' in the back seat of a...”
“FRY, CAN IT.” Leela turned her attention to Nibbler, once she was certain Fry would be quiet. “So, this ancient prophecy says in the future some 'Mighty-Other' is needed, and this person will be our child?”
“I assure you the truth is told, when I say all of our scholars and holy ones have come to agreement on this matter.” He had a pleading look in his eyes. “This prophecy can ONLY come to pass with your agreeing to the matter! You understand, we are unable to force you in any way to...” He was cut short by Leela and Fry.
“Do we REALLY have a say!? DO WE!?” she snapped. She turned to look at Fry and rolled her eye. “LOOK at him! Fry, pull your pants and underwear up this instant! Oh Lord, it's like V-Ginny all over again...”
“See Nibbler? Told ya. Looks like it up to me... guess you'll just have to freeze me again.” he pulled up his jeans. “Come on, let's go. And Leela?” he turned to the woman he loved, “I want you to know I always loved you. I know I'm not a good looking, smart, or talented guy, and you could do so much better...”
“No, please let me finish. I know you'll never feel the same way toward me, so... I, I promise to leave you alone now.”
“Oh, come on Fry! Don't do this! I DO like you, I... I even admit I still have feelings for you...” she stopped short when she saw him perk up and try to make a move. “not those feelings.” she saw him deflate again. “We can still be friends. Good friends. I'm just not ready for... for...”
“Yeah. Well, maybe we can use artificial insemination, if being with me disgusts you so much...” he trailed off.
“Hmm, that is an interesting alternative,” Nibbler pondered. “Leela, I am going to have The Mighty One take me for a walk. I'll talk to him... in the meantime... perhaps you could look at something...” He hopped up onto the desk where she had her computer and put the chip in the reader. He highlighted a bunch of files. “Understand, I can not force you, or try to convince you to look at them... if you do, I can give you something for the pain.” Hopping down, he got his leash, put it on, and handed the end to Fry. Walking out the door with Fry following, he turned. “Again- not forcing you, but I think you may be very pleasantly surprised at what you see.”
“Come on, fur ball. Let's go for a walk...” Fry dragged him out of the apartment and slammed the door.
Leela walked over to the computer, and quickly turned away. She had only done that half a dozen times or so. 'Not gonna force me, BUT...' she thought to herself. Grumbling, she wondered what could possibly be so damned important he'd be willing to do something for the pain, that he wanted me to see? 'Maybe a quick peek... aw, screw him, the little conniving bastard!' She flopped down into a chair and huffed. 'Fry will think I'm a chicken...' She got up, wondering WHY she'd care at this point if he did or not. 'Oh well, just a quick look-see... Fry will never know about what I'll see'. Moving the mouse to turn on the screen, she saw a dozen or so files Nibbler had highlighted. 'Funny,' she thought, 'most are sub-files of Fry's personal file... why would he want me to see HIS...'
“NO!” she screamed out load. 'No, what?' she asked herself. “No, I can't go snooping into Fry's mind and in his thoughts!” 'Why?' her conscience asked her again. “Because... well, just because! That's private!” 'Are you AFRAID of what you'll find out? Just how much you hurt him? Maybe you'll learn just where HE comes from?' “STOP IT!” she yelled and cried, pounding her head with her fists. 'Maybe see things how HE sees things?' “Stooooop iiiiit!” she sobbed. 'You ARE a chicken! Fry's right there with that assumption, but he has no idea how WEAK you really are!' “I... I am n-not...” she sniffed loudly and wiped her tears. “I'll show YOU, stupid conscience!” She right clicked the highlighted list of files, and selected 'PLAY ALL'.
“Where... where AM I? Why do I feel... different?” She felt as if she was being taken along for a ride, with no say in the matter, and no control in the situation.
'What? That wasn't ME saying that! It was...'
“What is it, meatbag?” the robot asked as he threw another empty into the pile and belched fire.
'Funny, this looks like FRY'S apartment, and I SOUND LIKE...'
“I'm gonna get going.” the delivery boy said, with a hint of sadness.
“Uh, gee, pal...” the bending unit actually sounded upset for his friend. “Maybe today is the day... maybe today she'll wake up...”
“Yeah... and I can tell her...” he trailed off and turned away so his room mate wouldn't see him break down. He ran for the door and left.
'Wonder where he's going?' she pondered. She watched as if through Fry's eyes, as he walked to the tube, got in, and came out near the hospital. He got into an elevator, and came out. She saw he was greeted by a few staff members, and heard them cluck their tongues behind his back, saying how sad it was to see a love so strong die.
Walking into a room, she saw him take out flowers from a vase he bought yesterday, throw them out, and placed fresh roses in. She then saw as he slowly lifted his eyes...
'Who the HELL is that WOMAN...' she found herself feeling insanely jealous, and then caught herself. She then got a better look- she was gorgeous... at least through Fry's eyes. It took her another split second to realize who the woman was...
'Oh! Oh my God! It's... it's me!?' To say she was shocked would be an understatement. 'How can... how can he see ME as being that beautiful?'
“Hey, Leela.” Fry sniffed, and blew his nose. “I came back again today like I said I would. The doctors and nurses said maybe I could stay longer... you know, if I help out with you...”
She listened raptly, as he told her everything on his mind and in his heart. It must have been hours. Nurses came and went. At some point, a small bucket of hot water, a bar of soap, and a sponge was left. She was shocked at what she witnessed next- Fry had drawn the bedsheets aside, and was gently and lovingly bathing her. He talked to her the whole time about how wonderful and beautiful she was, and how much he needed her in his life. Before she knew it, he had dried her off with a towel, and was now rubbing down her arms, legs, and massaging her hands and feet.
“The doctors said this would be good for you, so yer body doesn't... uh, some big word I never heard before. All I know is it may help you get better.” He pulled the covers back over her, and affectionately brushed her hair out of her face. “Oh Leela, if you could only see you the way I see you! If you only knew how you make me feel...”
'Oh, oh Fry! I do! I...' she stopped, realizing this was in the past, and he never could hear her. 'How... how did I not know?' she pondered this over and over as day after day passed as he cared and lovingly stayed by her side, despite his own injury from the stinger. She had to admit she was miffed when the file ended, and the next one started up...
The next file was a short one. Fry was looking down at his hands, or the robot devil's hands, actually. He was holding his holophoner, and playing the most beautiful piece of music she had ever heard. It was so beautiful she wanted to cry. She heard her heart thumping away over the file running, and she was constantly sighing blissful sighs over and over. It didn't take her long to realize what piece of music it was- Fry's opera... Her opera. The final movement, to be precise. She never got to hear it the way it was meant to be heard, because of Beezelbot's disrupting the show, and conniving to get his hands back. She swore, even without words, she KNEW what he was saying to her, and had she heard it played the way it should have been played, she would have screamed her affirmative answer to him.
“Oh, Leela,” she heard Fry moan, as he lay his instrument aside, and pen the last notes into his notebook, “if I could only make this half as beautiful as you are to me...”
'NOOOOOOOOO!!!' she cried as the file ended, and another started. The next file did a real number on her- it was two files merged together as one. She got to relive the event through both Fry's, and her own, body...
“Fry, I want to thank you for everything. You have to understand now, it takes me a while to totally trust anyone, and come out of my shell.” She sat down next to Fry on the sofa in the Planet Express lounge, and snuggled in close to him.
Hey, it was WELL worth the wait!” he said enthusiastically. “I have the greatest woman in the universe by my side!”
“Oh please!” Leela scoffed, while she fidgeted with her ponytail. “You can't possibly mean that, Fry..”
“Oh yes I can! You're totally the hottest woman I've ever seen...”
“Oooh, so THAT'S it, is it? You love me for me BODY!?” She felt him squirm uncontrollably. .
“Uh, no! I mean YES! Uh, more than that!” She could feel the sweat as it started to form on his brow, and his palms became clammy. “You are also so smart, and strong, and... uh... did I say beautiful?”
The cyclops couldn't hold it in any longer and doubled over in laughter. She laid a reassuring hand on his, and explained.
“Fry, sweetie, it's okay- I was only teasing!” resting her head on his shoulder, she continued her original topic. “Seriously Fry, thank you for everything- for giving me time, for being forgiving, for always being there for me. When I was broken, you built me up. When I was depressed, you made me smile. Even when I would have one of my outbursts, you'd just take it, and then let me cry on your shoulder after. You even acted selfless on many occasions toward me... and even saved my life.” Her face turned a deep crimson.
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “more than once...” he mumbled.
“More than once?” she looked puzzled.
“Uh, that is, it would have been with the space-bee stinger...” he tried to recover, remembering she had no recollection of other events.
“Oh, Fry, I love you.”
“I love you too, Leela! And to prove it...” she felt him fumble around in his coat pocket. “Uh, no... key to the ship... uh, think these are the keys to the apartment... hmm, hang on Leela.” Leela looked on with giddy excitement. “Eeeeew, I found the rest of our Charleston Chew!” Wiping his hands off on his jeans much to her vocal disapproval, he started digging in another pocket. “Uh... gum, Leela?”
Giggling, Leela playfully shoved him off the couch, and had planned on jumping him, and covering him with kisses, but he actually caught her off guard.
“Heh heh, I guess while I'm down here...” he got on one knee and pulled out a small box...
Nibbler came back to the apartment a few hours later to find Leela on the floor in the fetal position, and in a puddle of her tears, snot, and sweat. She was shaking uncontrollably, and moaning grievously. He quickly ran to the computer and assessed the situation.
“Oh, no... no no no! Leela!” He hopped down from the computer and ran to her side. “Leela! You... you played ALL of them in a row NON STOP!? Leela- can you answer me?” The only reply was the same moaning he was greeted with when he returned. “Hang on, your Shnookie-wookums will help you...” A red light shone brightly from his third eye, and he passed it up and down her head repeatedly. After the fourth time, he asked her again if she was alright.
“I-i-i-it huuuuuuuuutsss!!!” Leela bawled.
“It still hurts?” he asked puzzled. “Your head shouldn't really take another...”
“N-not my head...” she managed to get out between trying to breathe and blubber.
“But, where else would it possibly hurt...”
“It... it h-hurts HEEEEERE!!!” she placed her hands over the center of her chest.
Quickly scanning her chest, he quickly decided a doctor wasn't needed for this kind of pain. He knew exactly who to call...
“Hey Leela! Hey wait, Nibbler? Why are YOU calling me from Leela's...” Fry sounded pissed.
“Mighty One! Please listen!”
“Yeah, sure thing.” He yawned. “Want me to save the universe again? Let me get a snack first...”
“No! It's something much more important to YOU.”
“What could that be?” he narrowed his eye suspiciously.
“The Other! She needs you!”
“I'M ON MY WAY!” he ran out as fast as he could without bothering hanging up.
Taking the steps two at a time, because he was too impatient to wait for the elevator, Fry's chest felt like a blast furnace, and he wheezed and sputtered as he made it to Leela's floor. Staggering to her door, he flung it open, and was shocked at the sight before him. The great and awesome Turanga Leela was anything but. She looked like a terrified little girl. There was a half eaten ice cream container on the floor at the edge of the sofa, and she was sitting on the end of it, with her knees up near her chin. Her eye was red and swollen from crying, and her bottom lip trembled. She was covered in sweat, and the violet mane that he loved so, was matted and clung to her face, neck and shoulders. He slowly approached and sat next to her.
“Hey, Leela.” he softly whispered. “Hey, you all right?” he slowly reached out to her.
“F-frrrry!” she flung herself at him and clung on him as if her life depended on it. “Oh, God, Fry, I-I'm so s-s-soooory!” She buried her face in his shoulder. “Please... please forgive me... I...I had no idea...”
“Uh,” he looked at Nibbler confused, but got no answers or leads from him. “What ever it is, odds are I already have, because I... well, you know. Is there anything I can do for you to...”
“Hold me.” she whispered, even softer than Fry had. “Please... please. Hold me in your arms, Fry.”
“Sure. Of course. Anything for you, Leela.” He pulled her over onto his lap, and gently rocked her back and forth while running a hand slowly up and down her back.
“Please, Fry, don't let me go... please don't let go...”
“I got you... I won't let you go. I promise."
“Seriously, Fry, I'm really sorry. You know I don't like people seeing me like that, being... weak.” She stared at her hands as she wrung them nervously. “I guess it's true, everybody does need at least someone to confide in. My someone is you.” She looked up and smiled nervously at him. “You really have been there for me every time I needed you. Thank you.” Leaning in closer, she gave him a quick kiss.
“Wh-whoooa,” taking a few seconds to recuperate and comprehend what happened, he grinned ear to ear. “You- you kissed me!” Leela giggled as she saw him squirm with excitement.
“Yes, I kissed you,” she couldn't help but smile herself. “because you deserved it. Also...” she stopped short when she caught Nibbler looking on out of the corner of her eye. She leaned in to Fry's ear so only he could hear. “Also... I wanted to!”
“You... You... I mean...” he stammered. “What, what's gotten into you, Leela? I mean, I'm not complaining...”
She shrugged, not fully knowing. “I guess maybe something just 'clicked' and everything seems to make a little more sense now.” She placed her hand on Fry's upper thigh and gave a little squeeze, and snickered when he took in a sharp breath.
“So, Mighty One,” Nibbler hopped up onto the sofa next to them, addressing Fry and Leela in turn, “Other... it seems now there is only one thing left for me to do...”
“Take your leave?” Leela hinted.
“No.” Leela's shoulders slumped, and she huffed. Nibbler continued. “It is obvious to me now that your feelings for the Mighty One have been re-awakened...”
“No kidding. Thanks for the interruption.” she mumbled under her breath.
“And both of you are also aware of the incredible undertaking we all face in the near future...”
“Nissan Altima?” Fry giggled.
“No- too small,” Leela teased. “Planet Express ship. Captain's quarters.”
“The Planet Express ship would be the wise choice,” Nibbler continued as if the two before him hadn't started their own conversation. “the three of us would never be able to fit within the confines of my personal craft. Even if we could, it would certainly be a most uncomfortable, and unpleasurable trip back to Eturnium for us.”
“What?” Fry heard, but didn't catch on to Nibbler's conversation.
“Nibbler, sweetie,” Leela quickly interrupted, “I think the 'Mighty One' and 'The Other' need...”
“A briefing on Eturnium. It is of the utmost importance the two of you fully comprehend the weighty matters of this galactic quandary, and the consequences to the entire universe.” Nibbler hopped down off the couch, and retrieved Leela's keys from the next room. “Thank you for your cooperation in this mission.” Leela and Fry just looked at each other.
“Perhaps, on the ship, on the way?” Fry hinted, and Leela smiled.
“Indeed. A most industrious idea!” Nibbler shot in. “We can start 'filling the two of you in', as you say here on Earth, on the way to Eturium. I will contact the Elders, and confirm that the two of you are compliant with the prophecies and of the foreseen future events, and the three of us are en-route for the formal briefing.”
“Awww!” Fry pouted.
“Oh Lord,” Leela looked at Nibbler and Fry, and ran her fingers through her hair. “this is going to be a LONG trip...”
Having arrived at Planet Express, The trio of the Mighty One, the Other, and Lord Nibbler, walked into the ship's hangar, and dropped their suitcases at the bottom of the ship's staircase. As soon as the last piece of baggage was dropped with an echoing 'thud' in the cavernous room, the three most dreaded words boomed down from above them in the conference room...
“GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE!,” the loony old codger said excitedly. “everyone to the conference room for a very important meeting!”
Trudging into the conference room, and flopping down into their chairs, the crew awaited their fate. Finally, as the last member of the company settled down, the old man spoke.
“GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE! No wait, I already said that, didn't I? Oh well, it IS good news! We actually have a DELIVERY!”
“What!?” Bender asked shocked.
“A delivery is when we are paid to deliver...” the Professor was cut short by Hermes, taking him by the arm, and showing him the papers again. “Oh, yes! The delivery! Very funny Bender. Yes. No need to worry your precious metal head. Oh my no. You're not on this delivery...”
“Whoo! This is a cause for celebration! Booze and hooker-bots, here I come!” Bender screamed, as he tore out of the room as fast as his footcups could carry him.
“No, as a matter of fact, we only need TWO people on this mission. Leela? Fry?” He smiled at the two, and then quickly adjusted his dentures before they slipped any further. “we have a very important mission for the two of you!”
“And by 'important',” Hermes interjected, “We mean we got paid cash up front! And a LOT of it, too, mon!”
“But Professor! Leela and me need to go with Nibbler to Etrurnium for some small import vehicle thingie... no wait... ULTIMA. Riiiiight...”
“Oh, well now, THAT changes things a bit doesn't it...” he clucked his tongue. “Because Nibbler here paid us good money to deliver the two of you to Eturnium for...”
“Just get on the damned ship, mon!” the accountant snapped.
“Have a safe flight, you two!” he giggled to himself as he shuffled off. “This money is just enough to finish off my fines for putting Herman Göring's clone in the pie eating contest at the last Berlin air show!” The Professor waved his arms excitedly as he left the room.
“He... he did... WHAT?” Hermes ran over to the filing cabinets and started digging through them feverishly. “Oooh, bad ju-ju! Where IS that form!?”
“Fry,” Leela whispered, and took Fry by the arm, “I think now is the perfect opportunity to get to the ship.”
“Leela,” Amy pulled her quickly aside. “be careful, will you? All we know about this mission is something about some doomsday topic Nibbler mentioned to the Professor in passing. Do you know anything? I mean Nibbler is your 'pet', of sorts...”
“Uh, gee, Amy, no I don't.” she lied. “But I promise Fry and I will do our best to be real careful to fulfill this mission to the letter.”
“Huh, that's funny.” the Martian thought aloud. “Why did she smile, roll her eye, and blush like that? Oh well...”
The flight into deep space was relatively uneventful. Leela had fed Nibbler an extra ham, and he soon fell asleep, contented, and with a full belly. This, of course, was done on purpose, because she was sick of overhearing his conversations with Fry. She swore if she heard Fry asking about 'the angle of the dangle', and Nibbler counting days into her cycle one more time... she almost wished they had brought the chip with them, so she could remind herself once again, why she loved him... almost. She remembered well enough though, when he slipped up behind her, and carefully wrapped his arms around her, and gave her a peck on the cheek. She smiled, and the warm fuzzy feeling returned anew.
“Hey there, 'Other'. The furry little poop-monster is finally asleep.”
“Fry, do you really need to address me that way?” she scoffed. “I can think of more affectionate terms of endearment than that!”
“Sorry, so used to Nibbler trying to get us used to our titles, I guess I got carried away.” He paused, and thought of something a little 'sweeter'. “Uh, how about 'babe'?”
“Sounds like something you'd name a piglet.”
“Getting better.” She altered course to avoid an unexpected debris field.
“Say it, and you'll walk funny, and have real trouble 'holding up your end' of this deal, Fry.”
Fry's hands instinctively covered his privates, and he let out a frightened squeak. He watched as she expertly maneuvered the ship around and through debris. It was obvious they wouldn't get any 'practice' in before their arrival at Eturnium, so he sat down in his spot. 'Better behave', he thought.
“Sorry, Fry.” Leela said after a long silence. “I would have liked to, too.” she glanced over at him and smiled. “But this course is taking us through some rough and difficult space. It was either this way, which is shorter, but more dangerous, or the safer way, but would take twice as long. And no offense, I did NOT want to hear you two discussing any pointers, or propping up any of my body parts with pillows to increase chances!”
“Uh, yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck and tapped his foot nervously. “Sorry about that.”
“It's all right.” she sighed. “But I'd honestly like to just have FUN first, before we go and worry about turning it into WORK.”
“Yeah, I guess you're right. We can chalk it up as 'practice'.”
“NOW you're getting it, Fry!” she quickly closed and opened her eye.
'Damn it,' Fry thought. 'Knew her THIS long, and I STILL don't know if she's winking or blinking.' He let the question in his mind pass, and renewed the conversation. “So, Leela, what do you think they're gonna ask us when we get to Eturnium? I mean, it seems pretty straight forward what we have to do...”
“I don't know what they will ask US,” the cyclops narrowed her eye as she dodged a rather small but fast moving asteroid. “but I know I will have some questions for THEM...”
“Wonderful news, Lord Nibbler!” Fiona and Ken chorused, as Nibblonians in the background applauded.
“Indeed. Our estimated time has been shortened, as The Other took it upon herself to put all of us in great peril, and taking us through sparsely charted space. We are currently avoiding various space debris. I must hurry with this transmission, as I feigned sleep, to have The Mighty One retire from my presence. The Galactic Space Entity only knows if they will check in this compartment for me for my safety.”
“Lord Nibbler, do you consider it wise or prudent to have The Other put herself and The Mighty One in any excess peril?” Ken asked coolly, but his face betrayed him.
“It is of no consequence that The Other has chosen the current path to our destination. Indeed, it is true, when I affirm that the two have completed more jeopardous journeys in the past; on a routine basis, mind you. Now if you will excuse me, I am supposed to be 'sleeping'.” he winked. He then thought aloud, and made his fellow Nibblonians chuckle- “If I play this right, I may receive yet another ham...”
“Oooh, Fry! Look!” she gushed. “all their homes, buildings and architecture are sooo cute!”
“Leela, please pay attention, and land this crate safely!” Fry huffed. “That shortcut you took has gotten me slightly space-sick, and I don't think I can handle one of your normal landings! Please, please take it easy!”
“I ALWAYS take it easy! I'm a skilled, professional pilot, Fry” she haughtily replied. “I simply like to make firm contact with the ground, that's all.” Receiving her clearance to land, she maneuvered with pin point accuracy just above the landing pad, slowly descended, and with a devilish grin, she dropped it the last ten feet with a resounding THUD. Giggling, she picked it back up ten feet, and repeated it for good measure.
“Uuuuurk!” Fry covered his mouth with his hands and ran for the toilet.
“Oh, Fry, honey! I'm sorry!” she tried not to laugh, as she followed him into the bathroom, and rubbed his back and comforted him. “Please forgive me! I- I couldn't help it!”
“Another routine flight, I see?” Nibbler spoke as he entered the bathroom eying the couple with a grin. He was answered with another steady stream of stomach's content coming out Fry's mouth. His smile disappeared the moment he caught sight of the offending pilot giving him the evil eye- as only she could.
“Let's get this done and over with... shnookie wookums.”
A nervous series of laughs escaped, as he scurried around and chattered, and ran out of the ship, leading them to their appointment with the Nibblonian elders.
“Come on Fry,” she said as she took his hand. “looks like our date with destiny is about to get real.”
“Yeah, guess so. How about a kiss for good luck?”
“If you think for one second...”
“Oh, yeah,” he put his hand over his mouth, breathed, and made a face at the smell. “sorry. I think I got some mints or something.” rummaging through his pockets as they walked along, he finally stopped, took off his shoe and sock, and retrieved chewing gum. “Wanna piece, Leela?”
“What the hell was... why do you... never mind. Just- no. No thank you.” she covered her face in embarrassment as Nibblonians started to come out of their homes and gather around them excitedly.
“Hehehehe, look Leela! They love me!” Fry giggled as the furry critters started licking and nibbling on his toes. “I think they found the extra piece of gum!”
“Wha- what the... God damn it, Fry! Come ON!” she snapped, as she grabbed him by the hand again and dragged him to catch up with Nibbler.
“Leela! My shoe! And my lucky sock! I...”
“I promise I'll buy you a new pair when we get back home, Fry! Come on!”
“But, But, Leela!” he whined. “they were my LUCKY socks! I haven't washed them since our fist kiss! And they only had seven or eight holes!”
Arriving at the sacred building, she turned and stared blankly at him for a few seconds, and confronted him.
“Oh Lord. Fry, we're going to get you a week's supply then! And personal hygiene lessons! I thought it was your feet all this time!”
“Hey! It's MY version of sweaty boot...” He stopped short at the icy glare thrown at him.
“Mighty one! Other! Please follow me.” Nibbler said, as he led them into the dark cavernous building. The elders were seen sitting in a circle, and rose up to greet them.
“The Mighty One! The Other! Together! My eyes have seen the Universe's salvation at last! Now this ancient one may slip into eternal slumber contented and satisfied.” and elderly Nibblionian cried as he hobbled over and clung to them.
“Come, Father.” Fiona gently released his grip on Fry and Leela, and sat him back down. “I must profusely apologize for my Father. He is quite... excited.”
“It's okay,” Leela leaned down to confront her. I have an elderly grandmother who can act a bit... yeah.”
“Thank you.” Fiona sighed, relieved.
“Eh, I'm used to the attention... speaking of...” Fry looked down at his leg and shook it. Clinging to his calf, was an infant Nibblonian drooling and chewing on something. “Come on little guy! Ride's over! Let go!” Shaking his leg harder, the little one finally let go.
“Erk-erk-erk... SPLOOOORCH.” The little guy was quite happy with himself, 'baptizing' Fry's leg in spit up.
“Hey, LOOK, Leela!” he reached into the slimy mess. “My SHOE!” he unlaced it and put it on with a sickening squishing noise. Most everyone turned away, and a few held their abdomens. “Oooh, it's warm!”
“Uh, Mighty One? Other?” Ken spoke up, wishing to change the topic. “Would you care to join in a feast of...?”
“Ugh, not now,” Fry held his gut. “Leela's flying has me feeling ill.”
“We cooked the zebra this time, as per your request, oh Mighty One.” another elder chimed in.
“No- no thank you.” Fry started rubbing his stomach uncomfortably.
“Wait a second... MY flying... but you just... your shoe...” Leela crossed her arms and exhaled sharply.
“Would The Other care for something to eat?” He asked Leela.
“Oh, no, no thank you. I'm trying to watch my figure. Gotta keep fit if I'm to be the mother of the savior, you know.” she rolled her eye.
“We have dolphin, Leela.” Nibbler teased her.
“That's- that's... unethical in it's...” she stammered.
“It's tuna-free, I assure you.” Fiona added.
“Uuuuuh,” she said, weakening. “just... just a little bit! Maybe a blowhole. And a fluke. And a flipper...”
One terribly noisy, disgusting feast later, the discussion ultimately focused on the reason for their arrival on Eturnium...
“Mighty One. Other.” Ken addressed them and bowed courteously. “Allow me the honor to expound on the purpose of your being here.”
“Is it story time again?” Fry asked.
“Yes, Mighty One.” Ken rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“Eh, I'm game.” Leela added coolly.
Clearing his throat, he continued, and a display flickered to life... after he walked over and punched at it.
“There. Now, as I am quite certain that the two of you are aware, you two are the two most important beings in the universe.” The display showed the two of them standing together
“So I've been told.” Leela replied.
“Yeah, yeah, old news. Boring.... ooof!” Fry got elbowed in the ribs by a trimmed elbow talon.
“The Mighty One, with his lack of the Delta brain wave, has saved the universe, and The Other's life on numerous occasions...” Leela looked at Fry with a mixture of shock, admiration, and love, as Ken continued. “and The Other, on numerous occasions has saved the life of The Mighty One, with her incredible power, dexterity, and talents in the martial arts. However, there will come the time in the near future, where the two of you will be no match for the grievous onslaught that will beset the universe. Only your child, The Mighty-Other, will be able to confront, combat, and eradicate the threat. This is of course, why it is of the utmost importance for the two of you to procreate.” The display changed to a picture of them in bed together doing a 'horizontal hustle', with overly exaggerated happy faces. Under the picture was a caption: 'ARTIST'S RENDERING'
“Do... do we really look like that, Leela? I thought...”
“The lack of The Mighty one's Delta brain wave makes him undetectable to any and all enemies of the universe. His DNA is but only one half needed for the Mighty-Other...”
“See, Leela? I told you!” he took her hand and leaned against her.
“Please, allow me to finish, oh Mighty One. The Other, with her mutant DNA, with her strength, agility, and mental capabilities to teach her body many combative skills, is just as equally essential to the success of bringing about a peaceful, glorious age to the universe. Her biological coding will be needed by the Mighty-Other as well.” The display shows DNA coming from Fry, DNA coming from Leela, and combining into a new person. It then shuts down. “The Mighty-Other will have all of The Other's strength, agility, combative talents, and also The Mighty One's lack of the Delta brain wave- essentially the perfect specimen for which we will all require to defeat the yet to be determined foe.” He added under his breath- “Also her cognitive skills should help.”
“This still raises questions.” Fiona addressed them. “One- will you two be willing to...”
“YES! I... uh...” Fry looked at Leela, and saw her shake her head, embarrassed. “Sorry.”
“Yes. We're both willing.” Leela sighed, and shook her head, grinning.
“Good, good. Question One is answered in the affirmative. Question Two- seeing as you are both amenable to parenting the Mighty-Other, would you allow us to offer advise and help in the raising of such a...”
“YES!” This time it was Leela answering, to Fry's shock. “What, Fry? I plan on getting free baby sitting at the least, out of this.” she 'winked'.
Fiona glanced over at the elders and they chuckled.
“Lastly, and most importantly,” she said gravely. “would you willingly be able to give up your child, when the appointed time comes, to save the universe... even if such action may take it's life?”
“Wha...” Leela involuntarily drew a deep breath. “What? You mean... o-our baby... our...”
Fiona rested a reassuring hand on Leela's lap, and tried to comfort her, but all she had really were prophecies, and a few cold facts.
“Oh, great Other. While this is rather shocking, it is indeed only a 'worst case scenario'. We must all remember, that the Mighty-Other will have it's parents to help defend it, and keep it far from harm. It may even be, that the Mighty-Other shall attain adulthood, and will be capable of doing his or her job completely on their own...”
“But... but, our baby!” Leela gasped.
“Leela, it's no big deal! Why I've saved the universe before, and I'M still here...”
“Fry, are you listening to what she is saying!?” she snarled. “OUR child can DIE doing this!”
“Oh?” he pondered the topic for a few seconds, and it slowly sunk in. “Oh! Oh snap! Not cool! Not cool at all! How could you...”
“Actually,” Nibbler cleared his throat, “we have done it with YOU for quite some time now, Mighty One.”
“Fry, your looney nephew does the same thing to both of us every day.” she glared at him and grumbled. “But this is our child! Shouldn't our child have it better than we do? Shouldn't they...” she wiped a tear from her eye. “This... this is stupid! I'm crying over a child we don't have yet, and over an event that may not take place as poorly as it can...”
“Indeed. It may very well be the child shall outlive you both, and live to a ripe old age.” Ken glanced through old prophetic scrolls. “We can gather up just as much positive impressions as well, from what is not specifically specified in the prophecies.” he smiled his most reassuring smile. “But we also believe in the Earthican saying 'Better safe than sorry'. Hence our wanting to help in the rearing of your offspring. We, meaning the Nibblonian people, shall defend it with our lives, as well. You are not alone in this endeavor, oh Mighty One, and Other.”
“Huh. Maybe that's not a bad idea, Leela.” Fry thought. “I mean, a group of furry, ravenous body guards that'll eat any threat that comes his way...”
“Or her.” Leela added.
“Yes. Even our greatest prophet, Snugglebunny of Kittehville, could not foresee the Mighty-Other's gender.” Nibbler added.
“Ooh, what a cute name!” Leela cooed.
“Hehe, yeah!” Fry added, as the elders grew visibly uncomfortable.
“The time grows late. The Mighty One and The Other must return to their planet and to their respective dwellings. Soon, they shall have many items and plans in which they must delve into. And I must return to as well, to collect on the deposit I placed on the ship, as well as The Mighty One and The Other, for their well being.” Nibbler stated, as he stood up and stretched. “Now, if there are no further questions...” he looked at the elders, as they glanced at one another, then him, yet said nothing. “Good, then it is finished. The discussion of The Mighty-Other and Doomsday Ultima is...”
“Wait a second. I have some questions!” Leela got up to address the elders. They murmured quietly amongst themselves as Leela confronted them. “Seeing as Fry and I have no real say in the matter...”
“No say, child?” an elder asked, shocked. “You two can choose not to have children if you so wish! You can remain celibate if you...”
“CAN we!? As I see it, we love each other, and whether you set us up or not, we would have had children anyways. We would have conformed to your prophecies unknowingly. Whether we knew or not, we would have fulfilled them!”
“Other, surely you can't think that we had acted as some all seeing match-maker, and set the two of you up...” Ken scoffed.
“YES. Yes I CAN. If Nibbler hadn't shown me those files, my love for Fry would have never been re-awakened, and...”
“Files?” an elder asked nervously.
“Uh... now The Other does know I didn't force her to open them...” Nibbler gulped nervously, and sheepishly grinned at the elders.
“Nibbler, how long have you lived on Earth, and you still haven't figured out that you NEVER tell a WOMAN 'now you don't HAVE TO, BUT'... that's a sure fire way for them to blame YOU for...” Fry laughed before Leela cut him off.
“FRY, SHUT THE HELL UP.”
“And that brings up my FIRST QUESTION. Those files of our lives- how did you record them? Did you read our minds, and copy our deepest thoughts in our subconscious for this? Or is there some sinister recording device that also records thoughts and feelings? Answer that one, please!” Leela crossed her arms, and glared at every Nibblonian in turn.
“Now Leela,” Nibbler gulped. “Our recorders are safe and...”
“So you just took it upon yourselves to record us? Pretty much ANYWHERE? What of our privacy? Does that even count?” she was yelling now. “Do you seriously have a recoding device everywhere we go?”
“Well, that would be impossible, of course. We plant them on your...” Nibbler was cut short.
“Lord Nibbler! You let one of our data chips and the knowledge of our recording devices fall into the hands of...” the elders started nervously chattering, and went into a panic.
“I think I can be of assistance here.” Fiona got everyone's attention and explained. “My last trip to Earth to visit Lord Nibbler, I had brought a chip with me. I had started our study on the prophecy of The Mighty-Other, and came to the assumption that The Mighty One and The Other, while still apart, needed to be rejoined. I... I left the chip there on purpose. I left it there so they would find it. I, correctly, I assume, thought if they accessed it, they would remember past events, and rekindle their love one for another, and we could explain to them the incredible importance of the matter.” The elders resumed freaking out.
“HELLO? The Other has another question!” Leela yelled. “You wanting to 'explain the matter' to us, ties in with my NEXT question- How the hell did you know we'd be willing to go along with this, by the time you had booked to 'deliver' us here to Eturnium? We could have decided against it, or I never could have seen the extra files that would have re-awakened my feelings for Fry. Then we wouldn't have come so willingly for this little chat.”
“About that.” Nibbler wrung his hands, “THAT was a gamble. I had to book the flight in advance, and was not sure what files would have been viewed or not. The worst case would have been nothing would have been discussed, and a regular delivery would have been made.”
“A regular delivery? A REGULAR DELIVERY!?” she scoffed. “One doesn't call the delivery of one's own pilot and delivery boy a 'regular delivery'! What, pray tell, would this delivery had been?”
Nibbler coughed up a sealed plastic bag, opened it, and handed Leela a Planet Express delivery receipt.
“You can't be serious.” she rubbed her forehead and chuckled half heartedly.
“What is it?” Fry asked, taking the slip of paper and trying to read it.
“Twenty... belly rubs. Seriously!?” She glared at Nibbler with a incredulous look.
“It was the best I could come up with, with such short notice!” Nibbler explained.
“I'm on it, Leela!” Fry said, as he got down on the floor and started rubbing a pair of furry abdomens, making the Nibblonians purr contentedly. “There's two...”
“Fry. Just... stop. We're leaving.” she turned on her heels and left.
The flight back, although less dangerous, was anything but routine. Fry and Leela sat in their respective places, and hardly said a word to one another. Occasionally, one would get caught looking at the other, and they would both smile. Nibbler, however, was treated to stony silence.
“Uh, Leela?” Fry finally said after what felt like an eternity to him, “So... uh, when do you think we should start talking to Nibbler again?”
“YOU go ahead and talk to him- I'm still pissed. He could have been a little more open with us, you know.”
“Yeah, I guess so... uh, where IS the little fur ball, anyway?” Fry glanced around, and under everything in sight.
“You'd better go look for him. Lord only knows what he's up to now. I don't think I can trust him as far as I can throw him, any more.” she stretched and yawned. 'He had BETTER make it up to us.” She got up and walked over to Fry, and sat in his lap. “Ship's on auto-pilot... have anything planned?” she grinned, and kissed him.
“Salutations, Mighty One and Other...” Nibbler said as he walked onto the bridge. “I truly am sorry. Please, allow me to try and make it up to you...”
“Look it Nibbler, you think you could knock? You really have NO IDEA how many times you've interrupted us when we...” Fry grumbled.
“Nibbleeeer!!!” Leela jumped up and stomped toward him. “OUT. NOW!”
“Please! I overheard you... I mean, let me TRY to make it up to you two!” he took a cautious step backward. “I, I promise I won't interrupt again!”
“We're listening.” Leela put her hands on her hips and started tapping her boot on the floor. “Start talking.”
“I took the liberty of...”
“Ugh! Now what?” Fry exclaimed.
“Don't you think you've done ENOUGH of that already to us? I mean...” she was cut short by an incoming message. “Hang on, damn it. Looks like someone back at Planet Express is trying to reach us.” Turning on the screen, there was the Professor in all his glory.
“Good news!, Leela and Fry!”
“Professor! For the love of God, PLEASE either get back in the tub, or put a bathrobe on!” she shielded her eye. “I want to save what eyesight I DO have, without upping my contact prescription!”
“Prude.” he covered himself with a towel and continued. “As I was saying before- you two have good news! Very good news indeed! Oh my yes... mmm. Oh well, run along and enjoy your Honeymoon!”
“WHAT!?” Both Leela and Fry jumped.
The Professor laughed and dismissed their shock with a wave of his hand. “Oh please! You two didn't think you'd keep your marriage a secret from ME for long, now do you? I'm the PROFESSOR! I know everything! Also, Nibbler paid for the use of the ship for the next week and your stay at Honeymoon Haven in the mountains of Planet Pocono. You have a week off! Just be sure you come back refreshed and pregnant! I want new DNA to test!” He hung up laughing and rubbing his hands together.
Both Leela and Fry slowly turned around to look at their 'benefactor'. “Nibbler!?”
“Surprise?” he smiled nervously, and coughed. “I figured it was the least I could do...”
“We aren't even MARRIED. How the hell can we have a honeymoon!” The cyclops narrowed her eye at him.
“I... I also have that covered.” He sheepishly stepped forward and set a small jewelry box down. “I know they are nothing fancy. Simple gold bands. However, it is the symbolism that matters...”
Fry picked up the box and opened it, to reveal two simple gold wedding bands. He showed them to Leela. She took one out and put it on her finger. It fit perfectly.
“Nibbler, this quite the... unusual gift.” her voice softened. “I... don't know what to say...”
“Say 'YES'. Please?” Fry got down on his knees, and begged.
“We have a week,” she giggled. “we better get a move on.”
“Oh, does that mean... wait...” he scratched his head, then a smile crept across his face. “YES!!”
“We can always go to Mars Vegas and get re-hitched there.” Fry said as the three of them pondered over a holographic map of the known universe.
“We could, but it's quite a ways out of the way, and in the opposite direction of Planet Pocono.” Leela pointed out. “And being in a 'hurry', so to speak, we can't wait the customary time many places want, nor do we have the resources available to us to rush things through.”
“Oh! Oh!” rubbing his temples, Fry jumped up excitedly with an idea. “Leela! Hold on a second!”
“Hold onto what?”
“Now, you're a starship Captain...”
“Brilliant observation, Fry.”
“And among many things a Captain can do, besides boss people around, and act important, is marry people!”
“I... wait a minute, Fry!” she groaned. “while I can technically marry people, I think it's against the rules to conduct a ceremony in which I am in!”
“Awww,” he flopped back down in his seat. “there goes the idea of a quick marriage by a star ship Captain...”
“Not necessarily so.” Nibbler jumped onto the control console, and punched in a few keys. Suddenly, on the map, it shown every ship within an hour's journey in any direction. “There. We have seven ships in our immediate area. There is a good chance at least one could perform a hasty and economical ceremony for you.”
Leela and Fry eyed the little red dots blinking on the map with speculation. A few of these ships they would normally steer well clear of. A couple more, it depended on the day of the week, and how much starch the dry cleaners' had put in their undergarments. One was of unknown origin.
“I don't know, Nibbler.” Leela slowly 'x'ed out one ship after another, eventually leaving only one. “No. HELL NO.”
Nibbler and Fry looked at the remaining ship's registry number. Fry visibly cringed, and even Nibbler made a face... BP-1729.
“Uh, maybe we can get married after the honeymoon, Leela.”
“No... no. We can make this work. Besides, if he gives you two any trouble, I may just have to threaten to eat him.” the Nibblonian rubbed his gut while making a face. “However, I may be in desperate need of anti diarrheal medication. Toupees and velour do not agree with my lower digestive tract.”
“Well, well, well. If it isn't the luscious Leela and her pet hair-pile... as well as that three eyed thingie following the two of you.” The fat, bloated sack of crap strutted up to them, totally ignored Fry, and tried to hit on Leela. “As predicted, you came back to the Zapper! They always come back to the Zapper!”
Removing a gloved hand from her shoulder with a bone crunching grip, Leela glared at him, and smirked when he whimpered and a tear came to his eyes. She threw his hand away from her, and internally applauded herself when he rubbed it and whined about the pain.
“Cut the bull-spit, Zapp. You KNOW why we're here!” she poked a finger into his flabby gut. It jiggled. “We're here to get MARRIED. Now stop your crap, and get on with it!”
“But my precious one eyed wonder! I'm not ready yet! Let me just slip off to the Love-nasium to...”
“WHAT!?” Leela spit with rage. “NO. I'm marrying FRY!”
“H-HIM!?” Zapp took a step back, and looked genuinely shocked.. “No WONDER you said you needed my help... obviously, he won't be able to consummate the...” he was cut short by a boot to the groin that lifted him about a foot off the deck. Kif and the men failed at keeping their groans and laughter to themselves. “I... I tell ya what,” he wheezed. “I normally work alone, but, I can be there to give the ginger pointers...” This time it was Fry's fist that connected with Zapp's nose with a sickening crackling noise. The delivery boy shook the pain away in his hand, and glared.
“Okay... Okay... how about...”
“How about performing the ceremony and living to regret it?” Kif mumbled.
“Yes... I can always catch her on the rebound.” He winced, ducked, and barely missed another punch from Fry. Leela was actually enjoying the show, and grinned her approval. “Uh, we need to get paperwork so we...”
“HERE.” Kif sighed, handing the paper to Leela and Fry to sign.
“Kif, once again, you've disappointed me.” He glared at his officer, and begrudgingly signed the paper. “Now, do we want the short ceremony, or the long one where I get to kiss the bride's...” The next thing he recalled, he was lying on the floor in a puddle of his own blood. “Ah, the sort one. Do you take him...”
“Yes.” Leela smiled at Fry and took his hand.
“And do you take her...”
“Ooooh yeah! You BET I do!”
“Good- you're now married... do you think you could possibly lend me your bride to help me convalesce with naked massages and...”
“Fry, sweetie,” she laid a hand on his shoulder and stopped him. “Let him go. You won.” She smiled and kissed him tenderly.
“Well, all right, but I've drempt of the day that I'd get even with Zapp for all the terrible things he's done to you...”
“Mighty One, perhaps it would not be prudent to do any more physical harm to the commander of the flagship of the DOOP...” Nibbler paused, then grinned, “with so many witnesses.”
“I see nothing...” Kif was heard mumbling as he walked away.
“Fry... let's go.” she purred.
“Just... just let me do one thing, please, Leela?” he pled. “I promise... no more violence.” He turned to Zapp. “Can we talk... privately?”
The two men took a few paces away from Leela, and Fry said something that made Zapp laugh hysterically. Then Fry did something- Leela wasn't quite sure what it was, because he had his back to her, and Zapp's face turned from laughter, to shock, then to outright bawling fits. Fry grinned, turned around to go back to Leela, and stopped. He turned back around, ripped the hairpiece off of Zapp's head, and spit on it. He then slapped it back on his head. He then turned around yet again, walked up to his bride, took her hand, and left for their honeymoon.
“So, husband,” Leela beamed ear to ear, as she piloted the ship into space from the Nimbus' dock, “I was quite proud of you back there. I think you broke his nose, as well as bruised his ego- nice touch with his rug!” she giggled.
“Yeah,” Fry rubbed his swollen and bruised hand. “I did okay, I guess.”
“You did wonderful.” she turned the ship on auto pilot and made an extra effort to swing her body back and forth as she sauntered up to him, and dropped in his lap. Breaking a long kiss, she added, “There's just one little thing I want to know.”
“Go ahead and shoot.” he returned the kiss, and and had a 'well placed hand' received with a gasp and a giggle.
“When you went to talk to Zapp...” she playfully ran a finger up and down his chest, “What did you do to make him laugh like hell at first, then cry like a baby?”
“Oh? THAT?” Fry laughed. “That was nothing! First, I told him my 'gun' was bigger than his. He laughed.”
“Oh Lord, no!” Leela tittered.
“Then, to make him cry... I proved it.” he beamed a huge brick eating grin. Leela's eye widened in shock, and a smile crept across her face as she realized what they discussed. “Yeah, at least the worms left me THAT improvement!”
“Well, all right, Fry. It's nice to know the worms left some kind of an improvement on your person, but you really need to put your gun away now.”
“What?” he groped around under Leela on his lap, around his zipper. “My 'gun' IS put away...”
“Your... OH! NO, Fry. Please put the railgun away.” she got up and pointed at the huge firearm. “I'm nervous around that damned thing, and it really shouldn't be on the bridge. It should be locked away with the rest of the firearms on board.”
“Awww, I thought you liked...”
“Fry, sweetie. Just stop... w-wait a minute! You shown Zapp... just where DID you have that gun to show him?”
“The same place I always keep my gun,” he answered matter of factly, “most of it down my pant leg. Why do you think I was walking funny?”
“Do... do I need to leave the bridge for your privacy again?” Nibbler asked with a worried expression as he walked through the doorway. “Trust me, I have seen Fry's gun numerous times, and I am not really up to...”
“No, no. You're fine, Nibbler, honey.” she turned to Fry, “Fry, PLEASE get that monstrosity out of my sight!”
Fry took the gun and carried off the bridge. Just as he got to the door, he turned around to shoot a reply to his wife, “That's not what you'll be saying later!”
“I... think perchance, I shall leave the coordinates to your hotel here, and I shall depart at the earliest convenience.” Nibbler quick dropped the information on the captain's console, and went to scurry off the bridge.
“Nibbler, you're fine. It's not what it appears.” Leela rolled her eye and punched in the information. She absent mindedly tapped her hand on the control panel, and Nibbler instinctively hopped up. “These coordinates... would you mind looking them over? The computer's giving an error.”
“Odd. Very odd indeed.” Nibbler scratched his chin as he entered the coordinates himself, and received the same error in question. “This... this is not good.”
“What's not good? Am I gonna get blamed for something AGAIN?” Fry asked as he reentered, and slid in behind Leela and wrapped his arms around her.
“We are getting an error for the coordinates to Honeymoon Haven.” Leela sat scowling at the screen. “Doesn't say what kind of error, either.”
“Well, we can always figure out the error reading later.” Fry said. “Let's just run there, and figure it out after the honeymoon! I wanna start this as soon as possible!”
“Mighty One, depending on the error, it may be impossible for the two of you to begin...”
“Then I can start it myself... wait a minute...” he pondered, and scratched his head.
“Fine, fine... let's just go to the planet, and check in. We can have Nibbler check out the error here on the ship while we... yeah.” she giggled and grinned ear to ear.
“Something is terribly amiss...” Nibbler mumbled to himself, as he pondered over the hotel's error code...
“Whoa, the planet sure is beautiful, Leela! Reminds me of the Appalachians back home!” Fry oohed and ahhed over the rolling mountains, with his hands and face pressed to the window like a little child.
“Well, it should, Fry” his bride replied matter of factly. “The Magratheans designed to look like the east coast of North America. I even heard Slartibartfast himself designed some of the coastline.”
“Verily. Although it is no Norway.” Nibbler added.
“Farty-slart-who?” Fry turned from the window with a quizzical look on his face. Receiving no explanation, he turned back to the window, and fogged it up in his excitement.
“Well,” Nibbler clapped his hands together, “Are The Mighty One and The Other ready?” he teased, and smiled when they both grew visibly embarrassed.
“Uh, yeah. And thank you, Nibbler, for the gifts of our wedding bands, and the honeymoon. That was incredibly sweet of you.” Leela gave him a scratch behind his eye-stalk, and he purred.
“I assure you it was the very least I could have done for the two of you- especially after you were reawakened to past events, and were made aware of your future child's grave importance.”
“Ugh, past events- don't remind me!” Leela half chuckled and groaned. “I still get headaches just thinking about that damned chip! Heeey... wait a minute. Nibbler, did you place any...”
“What? By no means would I intrude on the privacy of your honeymoon!” he threw up his hands in a defensive manner. “We, meaning myself and my people, appreciate the privacy of one's honeymoon! There will be no recording chips on either of you, or any at all on the entire planet!”
“Aww, man...” Fry trailed off dejected. “And I forgot my camera too.”
“FRY... NO. If you think you're gonna Harding a video, I will Gillooly you so fast it'll make yer legs hurt for the next decade!”
“Aw, poor Scruffy.”
Leela landed the ship at the set coordinates, outside of a kitschy cabin, covered in hearts and naked babies with bows and arrows. Handing all the luggage to Fry, they descended the steps of the forward landing gear and walked up to the office door. Upon entering, Fry dropped the bags, and escorted Leela to the front counter.
“We have a reservation for Fry?” he quickly added, “Mr. and Mrs. Philip Fry.”
“Okays, where's da... EEESH!” the fat, smelly individual behind the counter got a look at Leela's eye and cringed. “Holy craps! She's a big ones! I'se dun know if I'se gots a cage bigs enoughs! Lemme go checks...”
“WHAT!? CAGE? What kind of a honeymoon themed hotel IS this place!?” Leela sputtered.
“Honeymoons? Honeymoons!?” he laughed, and the cigarette fell from his mouth, and burned another mark onto the reception desk. “You'se must be thinkings of when this was a PERSONS type hotels!” he wiped a tear of laughter away. “Nopes. That was like a fews months ago. We'se were loosings our shirts on thats, so we switchedes to PET SITTINGS.”
“A... a pet hotel!? You... you have got to be kidding us!” Leela fought back tears and rage.
“Hey! We had reservations!” Fry blurted.
“Reservations? Lemme checks...” he tapped away at the computer. “Yes, you'se still do has them. One weeks. Free foods. But this is still onlys a PETS Motels!”
“But your website said this...”
“Oopsies! Forgots to updates that!” he smiled, and flopped back down in his chair.
Fry tried to comfort Leela, who was blubbering about never expecting her special night to be like this, when he suddenly got a brilliant headache with pictures...
“Pet hotel, huh?” He asked the lazy proprietor.
“Yups.” He barely glanced over at them.
“We'll be RIGHT BACK.”
Soon enough, the Planet Express ship is seen roaring off into space, with a sign 'JUST MARRIED! AGAIN!' trailing it. The hotel manager, coming back inside from witnessing the bat out of hell takeoff, goes over to his new charge, and goes to bring him to his cage.
“Stop! Some kind of misunderstanding has taken place!”
“Holy Moseses- not anothers talking pets?”
“Look, my dear man, I can make you a nice sum of money, if I am to be delivered of this confinement. It is of great importance that I apologize to...”
“Look its, youse, I'se was told to ignores yer yammerings, and ta gives yas only ones hams every four hourses! Shaddups and waits!”
SIX MONTHS LATER...
“...and furthermore,” she unlocked the door to their new apartment and kicked it open, trying not to drop the groceries and papers in her occupied arm, “not only are you not gonna film the birth to show Bender- but you are NOT going to imitate Yogi Berra, when he or she comes out!”
“But, but what if the kid gets dropped?” he questioned, waggling a baseball catcher's mitt with one hand, as he held another bag of groceries with the other. He kicked the door shut. “And despite you playing for the Mets, I wanna make sure they are a Yankees fan!”
Dropping the groceries and papers on the kitchen table, she turned to Fry, opened her mouth, and thought twice about wasting her time and oxygen on the comment. Grabbing the groceries from Fry, she set those next to the first bag, and started putting items away.
“Nibbler! We're home!” she called out to the adjoining room. Turning back to Fry, she addressed him. “Fry, please, honey. I'm having a difficult enough time as it is, and it's left me a bit... moody.” She picked up the papers, and handed them to him as she finished putting the food away. “Seems the doctors don't know what to make of our little one... they want me in for MORE testing. Just what I need is more poking and prodding.”
Fry looked at the doctor's receipts, scans, and charts, completely confused, and turned them this way and that. Finally, he shrugged, and placed them back on the table.
“Well, it can't get any worse? Right? I mean they said our baby WAS healthy.”
“Oh, don't say THAT!” she cringed. “Almost every time you say 'any worse', something comes up that needs to be addressed!”
“Sorry, Leela.” He sounded genuinely sorry. “I just wanted to help you. Looks like I have a lot to learn still, huh?”
“Yeah, I'm sorry, too. Usually I'm not this emotional, but being pregnant? AND with the most important being in the universe?” she subconsciously held her baby bump. “I think we will both be wishing for more time to learn and fix mistakes raising them, huh?” she kissed him on the cheek, and walked to the living room.
“Salutations!” Nibbler greeted them, from an armchair, smoking his pipe, and reading from an ancient tome. “What is this? The Other worried about her child's upbringing? I cannot fathom why! Why, no one in the known universe is better suited to the task. Besides, you shall have ample time to raise the child! Enough time for even The Mighty One to correct HIS mistakes raising the child!”
“Wait, we don't have a millennia for that!” Leela joked.
“Yeah, right?” Fry laughed along oblivious to the jab thrown at him.
“No, we do not, but is not a century long enough?” Nibbler drew in on his pipe, and blew a smoke ring. “You two will do an exceptional job.”
“Wha- wait a minute...” Leela braced herself on the back of the sofa. “Did... did you just say... a century?”
Glancing over the top of his book, he looked at her. “Yes, quite.”
“You mean... we... one hundred years?”
The Nibblonian placed a bookmark in his book and set it down. He looked at her, puzzled. “I could have sworn you and the Mighty One were updated on the time in which...”
“One HUNDRED... how, how could you!” she snapped. “I'm STILL puking every morning, spending more money on an apartment with an additional bedroom, going to my OBGYN's every other day because they can't seem to comprehend all the 'abnormal readings' thanks to the 'Mighty One's' DNA, AND I'm getting FAT to boot! ONE HUNDRED YEARS! We could have WAITED! I oughta choke you!”
“Now, now Leela,” Nibbler laughed nervously, “I'm sure within a century's time, the human species will have figured how to prolong their life-span even longer than the current state! Why, I can almost assure you that 100 will be the new thirty!” he rubbed his neck and gulped. “You... you'd never choke your shnookie-wookums, would you?”
“Choke? Oh, you bet! And I'm gonna start with these wedding bands you got us!”
“No, Leela! They're almost pure gold! We can hawk them!” Fry interjected. “Think of the stuff we could get for the baby!” He held up a toy catalog.
“And the infant too, right, Fry!?” she glared at Fry icily.
“Also- I've seen him eat- those rings would never choke him... I mean...” he stopped short when he saw the color rise in her face, and she clenched her fists.
“You don't know how lucky you ARE,” she poked Nibbler. “I happen to love this universe, and am willing to take this one sacrifice for it!” she flopped down on the sofa, and crossed her arms angrily.
“Thank you for understanding, Leela.” Nibbler hopped up next to her, and looking at her, slowly and carefully crawled onto her lap. “You will never fully comprehend what good you have done... besides...”
“Besides what?” she snapped
“You... you do LOVE it, don't you?” he grinned knowingly.
Her face quickly dissolved into a dreamy smile. “Yes. Yes I do. My baby.” she sighed deeply. She then turned to Fry. “Our baby. And I love you, too.” Her complexion turned a rosy pink.
“Leela... may I...” Nibbler looked at her belly, and up to her, questioningly reaching out a hand.
“Fine. At least YOU ask!” she rolled her eye and huffed. “Complete strangers seem to feel compelled to rub me, like I'm some magical Buddha that'll give them good luck.”
Nibbler grinned happily and placed his hand on her swollen abdomen. He held his hand there for an uncomfortably long time, and his smile faded into a look of concern.
“Most interesting... most interesting indeed. Leela, do you mind if I... scan the child?”
“Wha- why... sure.” she stammered. “It won't harm the...”
“Oh, no harm of any kind...” he scanned her uterus and the child within, and got a look of pure bewilderment. “But... but... no. Oh no. This... oh dear, I can not believe we had forgotten to take into consideration this possibility...”
“What? Is there something wrong with our baby?” Leela begged for an answer.
“'Wrong' with the child? No... nothing wrong, so to speak....” he trailed off.
“Then what is it? You looked worried.” Fry asked. “It's not, uh, 'special' like ME, is it?”
“I can assure you Mighty One, ALL your offspring will be 'special' like you...”
“Whoa whoa whoa, hold the fort. What do you mean ALL his offspring? I'm not too fond of carrying this ONE here... just because I love it, doesn't mean it doesn't wang chung to be this way!”
“Maybe you'll change your mind, you know, like after you have it... my Mom did after having Yancy...”
“She will have to.” Nibbler turned to Leela. “You MUST.”
“I don't like where this is headed,” she ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. “Why would I HAVE to change my mind on having more children?”
“Now, Leela... promise you will not become vehemently upset?” he slowly backed off of her lap, and started to cross the room.
“I... I... oh Lord... just say it.”
“My kid?” Fry asked quizzically.
“Yes... this child...” he gulped down a nervous fur-ball. “Is... is... NOT the 'Mighty-Other'.”
“WHAAAAAAT!?” Leela slowly got to her feet, as Nibbler backed further away.
“Now, understand, oh great Other, the 'Mighty-Other' WILL be from yours and the Mighty One's DNA... just not this child. Per-perhaps not even the next...”
“What's this mean then? Mine and Leela's baby is just a normal baby?”
“I am afraid so. For the sake of the universe, you two must continue to try and procreate for...”
“Pro... pro-cre-ate...” he let the word sink in. “Whooo! No more 'rain coats' for 'little Fry'!” Fry danced around like an idiot.
With great difficulty, Leela bent down and grabbed one of her boots lying on the floor. She then threw it at Fry.
“OOF! Leela, that hurt!”
“Please, Other! You must...” Nibbler put his hands up in defense.
“And YOU stop calling me 'OTHER' or YOU will get my OTHER boot!”
“Perhaps now is the time for a hasty retreat. I will now leave you and the Mighty One to yourselves...”
“Nibbler, sweetie... BEFORE YOU GO...”
BACK AT ETURNIUM...
Lord Nibbler is seen on an examination table in a hospital, and is looking under the weather. The doctor gave him a sympathetic look as he left, and ushered Fiona into the room.
“Lord Nibbler! How good it is to see you again after all this time! What happened to you? Are we to think that your secret talks went poorly, and that the universe is indubitably doomed?”
“No... the talks, although they were quite 'rough', as Earticans would say, did come to fruition. The Mighty One and The Other are lawfully wedded, and have procreated. But I am afraid...”
“Afraid? Afraid of what? The Universe is saved! The prophecy has...”
“Did it ever occur to you,” he interrupted, “that the Mighty-Other could possibly not be the first child conceived from this union?”
“Oh... oh. She is taking this hard, then, is she not?” she winced.
“Indeed. Hence, why I am here for healing.” he shifted on the exam table uncomfortably.
“But... but they WILL stay together and continue to...” she stammered.
“Yes, they will. Despite their many severe flaws, the two great ones love each other immensely. They will stay together this time. It can be marked down in the annals of Eturnium history the mission was a resounding success.”
“And the data chip I left behind?”
“Retrieved, so to speak, from Earth... I... hesitate to tell you....”
“Aw, niggle-snoosh!” she put an arm around him and gave him an affectionate squeeze. “The two of us have been through vast amounts of experiences together. Surely you can elaborate to me.”
“The Other...” he gulped audibly. “was... slightly upset when I left. She...” he cleared his throat, “gave me the chip.”
“And this of course, knowing of The Other's temper, involved violence...”
“Oh, Lord Nibbler! I am sure the physicians here on Eturnium will have you well again quite soon. And where is the data chip now?”
“It... is, within my body. She put it there sideways!” he whimpered.
“Eeeesh.” she grimaced. “Well, I'm sure the doctors can pump your stomach, and you well be back to your regular self in no time.”
“Funny you should use the word 'regular',” he hung his head. “She didn't put it THERE...”