Fan Fiction

Matters of Life and Death part 24 - Boom-shakalaka
By Dwayne Anderson

Warning - The situations portrayed in this story are based on real deaths and are extremely graphic.

When you boil it down, many of the stories in Matters of Life and Death are about positive justice. Many of the victims get what's coming to them. Others are simply poor victims of misunfortunate circumstances. Not so in this story. Who else deserves a karmic ass-kicking? Here's how fate answered. And we all know how nice it is to see bad guys and girls get what's coming to them.

Few people know what her real name is. She's the head of a major incorporation known as MOM's, famous for introducing new technology into the thirty-first century, as well as building robots, one of whom was Bender.

That's what everyone calls her: Mom. On the outside, she appears as a sweet old lady. But out of the public eye, she reveals herself for who she really is. A power-hungry megalomaniac who desires to take over the world, aided by her three sons.

And as for her appearances in public? It's all just an illusion. She's really wearing a bustle underneath that dress.

They say old ladies are sweet and kind. Not so for MOM. So much for stereotypes.

Mothers are also supposed to be gentle and affectionate with their children. Not so in MOM's case either. Physically abusive, frequently slapping her sons around, she makes Fry's own mom look the mother of the century. Walt, Larry, and Igner are their names. Recently, it was revealed that Farnsworth is Igner's father and Farnsworth had an on-again off-again relationship with her.

Mom is very ambitious and very good at getting what she wants. But you know the old saying, "Quit while you're ahead!"

"Well forget everything you know about baking cakes in a typical oven," she said at her last public appearance. "And say hello to the amazing new model! Guaranteed to produce the finest results!"

The audience applauds in response. They applaud even louder once she announces her plans to enter the upcoming baking competetion. Mom is hoping to win the competition so she can mass-produce the corp's new creation and sell it to households everywhere, making billions in the process. Billions which she will use to fund her plans to take over the world.

Of course, MOM knows you can't win fair and square. So she resorts to the usual strategy used by many: cheating. To do this, she employs the help of her sons.

At the competition, MOM is up against four of New New York's finest bakers. Everybody loves a bake-off, especially one being televised on local stations.

Among those in the audience is our favorite crew, Farnsworth among them.

Larry and Walt are assigned the task of sabotaging the ingredients of much of MOM's competititors. They switch salt for sugar, cornstarch for flour, and vice versa. Inger is left out of the fun because the job is too complex for someone short on brains.

Because of the sabotage, all but one of the competition is eliminated due to the poor quality of their baking. Too much salt has made cookies too hard to bite, one judge even breaks his teeth. A lack of flour and too much cornstarch makes the bread all lumpy. MOM has only one competitor left.

In the finals of the bake-off, both remaining competitors are to bake a cake for the judges to sample. MOM now has a special job for Inger, her third son.

"You will put this thermal detonator into his batter before baking," she instructs him before the competition finals, giving him a small round device. "If you don't, it will be the sorriest day of your life!"

Even an idiot could do the job right. But sometimes when you do something with good intentions, things don't always turn out right. How? Read on and find out fans.

Later when both confections are baking in the oven, MOM is squatting in front of her oven watching her cake begin to bake. She's dreaming of all the money that she'll make from mass-producing and selling the latest model of her oven. A step closer to world domination.

But sometimes visions of glory can blow up in your face. And that's exactly what happens...literally.

Without warning, an explosion rips through the oven, blowing it apart, and sending the oven door off its hinges where it lands several yards away. The surrounding walls are splattered with cake batter. Screams erupt from the lips of the audience as MOM's shrapnel-ridden body falls backward, followed by her head. A large pool of blood begins to spread from underneath the stump that is her neck.

"Mom!" Larry and Walt cry out as they run to the headless body of their mother. Inger stands back, horrified by what has happened. He covers his mouth with one hand and turns away, unable to bear the shock of what has happened.

It seems Inger had a pang of conscience and slipped the thermal detonator into MOM's batter by choice. There comes a time in the life of an abused boy when he decides "Enough is enough!" Not only was he going to turn the tables on his mother and foil her scheme, he was also going to come forward with his story and expose her to the world for who she truly was. Like Pinky in "Pinky and the Brain" series where Brain tries to take over the world, Inger had foiled his mother's plot. He was the flaw in her perfect plan. But things didn't turn out the way he had planned. He certain didn't expect this.

But Inger isn't guilty of murder. He was just too stupid to understand just how powerful the thermal detonator was. The heat of the oven caused the device to grow unstable. Once it had absorbed enough heat, it exploded, blowing up MOM's cake and her visions of glory. Since the explosion occured within a small enclosed space, it was enough to blow apart the oven and send the door flying off its hinges. Mom was pelted by several shards of broken metal and the oven door severed her head from her neck.

When a person is decapitated, death comes as a result of the severing of the brain-stem, cutting off all contact the body has with the brain. The brain is like the central controlling system of the body, shut it down or severely damage it and the body shuts down, permanently.

It's a fact of life, cheaters never win. One wonders if any of this went through MOM's head in her final moment.

Who cares? One less megalomaniacal woman for the world to worry about. Mom should have quit while she was ahead.

Oh that's right! She is a head!

... To Be Continued