Fan Fiction

Space Ace Doofus - part 4
By Dwayne Anderson

Bucky and the rest of the crew on board: Bruiser, Deadeye, and Blinky were waiting for Fry in another chamber of the Righteous Indignation. This appears to be the ship's weapon station as there are several laser cannons mounted and ready for combat.

"Sit down," Bucky directs Fry to a seat near one of the cannons. Fry obeys and seats himself.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," said Bucky standing directly before him, "I'll ask the questions here. Understood?"

Fry gulped with anxiety and nervousness. "Yes captain," he addressed his host as he would Leela.

"Who exactly are you?" asked Bucky. "From where do you come from? What is your intent? And why are you here?"

Fry's head began to hurt from hearing so many questions all at once. It was so hard to think what with his current situation. But then again, thinking never was his strongest point. It was amazing he had ever gotten here in the first place. Maybe it was his own stupidity and curiousity that got brought him here. Well duh!

"My name is Phillip J. Fry," said Fry. "Although my friends..."

"We already know your name," said Bucky. "But that's not important. What is important is who you are exactly."

"I'm not sure I understand the question," said Fry with a puzzled look on his face.

Bucky sighs and slaps himself in the forehead while rolling his eyes. "Alright then, I'll ask you in a way your limited intelligence can understand. Tell us about yourself."

Fry brightens. "I thought you'd never ask. Anyway, I was born in the 1970s in a place called New York City. On the eve of the millennium, that's December 31, 1999, I was cryogenically frozen and thawed out a thousand years later on the day of the next millennium. Where I come from, the year is now 3013."

"Do you realize how old that makes you?" asked Blinky. "Your youthful appearance belies your age."

"Oh no no no!" Fry said shaking his head. "I'm only thirty-eight. Being cryogenically frozen was like being held in...in...what's the word?"

"Stasis!" Blinky finished.

"Whatever you say," said Fry. "Everything and everyone I knew was gone. Well not everything because a former girlfriend of mine also cryogenically froze herself and awoke in the future as well. Anyway, as I was saying, during my time in 'stasis' as your robot calls it, New York City was destroyed by aliens and rebuilt as New New York. The ruins of the old New York are now in the sewers where mutants now live and thrive, one of which is my new girlfriend."

As Fry tells his story, the others listen intently with curiosity, absorbing his every word. It is only once he finishes speaking the final sentence do they speak.

"What's a mutant?" Bruiser asks scratching the top of his head as if he had lice.

"It's kind of hard to explain," said Fry. "But all I know is that they were once human, but something happened to them that changed them into different creatures who are branded as freaks by normal people. Until recently, they were forbidden to come up onto the surface without day passes."

"Why did you freeze yourself?" asked Bucky.

"Actually it was an accident," said Fry. "I remember leaning far too back while sitting down and I fell into the pod. It sealed itself and activated, putting me in 'statis' for ten centuries. However, even if it was an accident, I don't regret it. My life was horrible!"

"In what way?" asked Bucky. "It can't be all that bad considering the circumstances of the Anniverse today."

"The what?" asked Fry.

"This is the Anniverse," said Bucky.

"The anniversary of what and whom?" asked Fry, clearly confused.

Dead rolls his single good eye in its socket. "Oh brother!" he mutters under his breath. "He's even dumber than Bruiser!"

"The Anniverse is similar to your universe," Bucky explains, "but its population consists of animals. It should be quite obvious to you. Isn't it?"

"Errrr..." Fry racks his brains for the answer, but it escapes him.

"Never mind," Bucky says. "Now tell us, why are you here in the Anniverse?"

Even the most difficult test he took in high school isn't anywhere near as difficult as answering this question. It was obvious that Farnsworth's Photon Accelerator had something to do with it. But what were the odds that he would actually end up here?

"You know, that's a very good question," said Fry, "one that deserves a very good answer." He shrugs. "Unfortunately, I don't have one!"

Deadeye growls in frustration. "Captain, I simply cannot stand here and listen to some intellectual-lightweight-spouting-claptrap!"

Fry, being completely ignorant as to whom Deadeye's referring to, and being the stupid idiot he is, says, "I wouldn't take that if I were you Bruiser."

"I was talking to you numbskull!" Deadeye snaps poking him in the ribs with a finger.

"Huh?" asked Fry.

"I would for one thing like to know what have you done with Willy?" Deadeye demands.

"I haven't done anything!" Fry protests. "And who's Willy?"

"He's a human just like you," said Bucky. "He took over the position of our engineer after Bruce disappeared into an alternate dimension."

"Bruce?" asked Fry.

"He was my brother," said Bruiser. "I miss him terribly."

Fry feels sorry for Bruiser. For the first time, he feels a sense of connection with one of these strange humanoid creatures all shorter than him. "I had a brother too," he said.

Brusier comes closer in interest. "Tell me."

"He and I weren't very close," said Fry. "But then again, I had the feeling that my family never really cared about me. Get this, my parents didn't even bother looking for me after I disappeared because they believed it to be a waste of tax-payers money."

Bruiser looks taken aback by this statement. So do Bucky and Blinky. Deadeye however is unsympathetic. "I can see why!" he snorts, folding his arms over his chest.

"Quiet Deadeye," said Bruiser turning on him angrily. "Leave the poor guy alone! He's been through so much and you're not helping!"

Fry smiles. It looks like he's made a new friend. Just less than half an hour ago, he had been frightened by Bruiser and physically threatened by him. But now, Brusier was defending him as if he now considered Fry his best friend in the room. Friends like those were hard to come by. But it was Bruiser's compassion that made Fry miss his friends back home even more.

"But years later," Fry went on as Bruiser listened with interest and empathy, "I learned that my brother Yancey named his own son after me to carry on my spirit."

"Sounds like he missed you deeply," said Bruiser.

"I only wish the same could be said for my father and mother," said Fry. "Dad never really cared for me as a son. Heck, mom was more concerned about a baseball game while she was bringing me into the world. She wasn't all that excited to hold her newborn son."

"Fry," said Bucky stepping forward, "if it makes you feel any better, I too know how it feels to lose a family. The deaths of my father and brothers is what gives me motivation in life as captain of this ship and leader of this crew. Jenny could also tell you her story when she comes back."

To Fry, it seemed that his list of friends in this Anniverse was slowly growing. Only Deadeye didn't think much of him.

"Still I would like to know what made you come to the Anniverse," said Bucky.

"Well, I guess you could say it was an accident," said Fry. "I didn't expect to actually end up in this whatever you call it."

"Anniverse!" Deadeye snaps.

"Whatever cyclops," Fry replies.


"I can see where you got your name from," Fry chuckles.

"Stop it you two!" said Bucky. "Answer the question Fry."

"Anyway, I guess you could say that I was having a bit of an early mid-life crisis," said Fry. "I was getting tired to feeling like I was never going to amount to anything. Whereas the boyfriend of one of my friends and co-workers had recently become something of a hero when he saved the crew of his captain's ship, I was still a mere delivery boy. I guess some things never change in life before you were cryogenically frozen."

Bucky, Blinky, and Bruiser all stare at him in astonishment. Deadeye however remains angry at Fry's presence.

"You abandoned your friends and co-workers?" asked Bucky.

"Well it's not like I was valued there anyway," said Fry. "The professor, my great great great great great gre-oh screw it, nephew even said so himself."

"That's still no excuse," said Bucky. "What you did was very foolish!"

"Not to mention stupid!" said Bruiser.

"I knew it!" said Deadeye. "It's your fault Willy isn't here! I knew you had something to do with his absence!"

"Alright that does it!" Fry rises to his feet in anger. "I've had it with your attitude and I don't need to put up with your insults! I'm out of here! And if any of you think you can stop me, in case you've all noticed, I'm bigger than all of you!"

Before the others can stop him, he runs outside the room and back into the chamber where he entered this strange dimension. He opens the doors outside the ship and charges outside onto the surface of Alderbaran.

The others have given chase outside the weapon station but Bucky halts them at the doors leading outside.

"Stop!" he tells them.

"Why?" asked Bruiser.

"Because outsiders are normally forbidden from stepping foot on Alderbaran. I don't know what secrets are kept on this planet, but I intend to respect first mate Jenny's wishes."

"But captain - " Blinky protests, "anything could happen to him! He has the mind of a child. He could get himself into trouble."

"We will stay here on board the ship and wait for him," said Bucky. "Jenny will bring him back. Return to your stations and await my orders."

"Yes captain," the others say in unity.

Deadeye peers out into the scenery of Alderbaran as Fry disappears into the distance. "Good riddance!"

To Be Continued ...