Futurama

Fan Fiction

Space Age Doofus, part 10
By Dwayne Anderson

Meanwhile, back at Planet Express...

There is a knock at the front door. Amy, who has been waiting at the front entrance for Kif to arrive hurriedly opens it to find Kif outside. He is carrying a small duffel bag.

"I brought the guns, just like I promised," he said as he stepped in. "So let's just double check. It's you, me, Leela, Bender, and...um..."

"Me," said Willy who comes in to meet them. "My name is Willy Duwitt."

Kif stares at Willy in perplexion. "Where did this boy come from?" he asked.

"It's a long story Kiffy," said Amy. "Let's just say that we had a mishap with the Photon Accelerator, there was a rip in space-time, so here he is, and Fry is now in an alternate universe."

"Is it true?" asked Willy. "That you're her husband?"

"We prefer the term 'Fon-fon-ru'," said Kif. "And yes, there is nothing wrong with an interspecies relationship despite what her parents think!"

Amy chuckles. "Willy doesn't need to know that since he has a cat for a girlfriend!"

"Ugh!" Willy groans like a frustrated Charlie Brown.

"What?" asked Kif.

"Funny story Kif," said Amy. "So what does Zapp think of you helping us?"

"I didn't tell him," said Kif. "I snuck away."

"You've gone AWOL?" asked Willy. "But you'll be court-martialed!"

"At least he went AWOL for a good cause!" said Amy. "And it should be Zapp who gets court-martialed for refusing to help us."

"It's worth the risk," said Kif. "After all, isn't risk the spice of life?"

"I thought that was the name of a popular board game," said Willy.

"Well," said Kif, "for the moment, Zapp Brannigan doesn't know I'm gone."

Suddenly, from inside the meeting room they hear a familiar voice on the big monitor. "Leela?"

"Stop bothering me Zapp! I already made it clear I would rather kiss a toilet seat than give up on Fry and come running to you!"

"That's not why I'm calling," said Zapp's voice. "Have you seen Kif? He's gone missing!"

"Missing?" asked Leela.

"Missing as in AWOL! When I find him, I intend to bring him back for a court-martial. Desertion is something not to be taken lightly! He can kiss his position in DOOP goodbye once I get my hands on him!"

"Well," Kif says with a gulp, "he knows now."


Back inside the Divorderum moon's research station, Fry and Jenny race into a large chamber that looks like a computer geek's dream. There are about a dozen computer mainframes and a device resembling a laser cannon off to the side. From the ceiling hangs a large globe that resembles a model of the moon. Whatever the purpose of this room was, weapon testing, computer data storing, or mapping the moon's surface and the entire operation, it was all unknown to him.

Bucky, Bruiser, Deadeye and Blinky at the moment are locked in battle with three humanoid robots about as tall as Fry.

"Terminate the intruders!" one of them speaks in a robotic voice.

"What took you two so long?" asked Deadeye who has taken shelter behind a computer when not firing off lasers from his weapons.

"We came as fast as we could," said Jenny. "What's the situation here?"

Bucky fires off a shot from his own weapon that blows off one of the robot's arms. Deadeye fires another shot, destroying one of its legs. As it crashes to the floor, its head bangs into one of the computer mainframes and shuts down from damage to the internal sensors from the inpact.

"One down, two to go!" said Bucky. "You might as well give us a hand!"

Fry starts clapping his hands. In response, Deadeye slaps himself in the forehead.

Jenny pulls Fry to safety as a laser from one of the robots narrowly misses him. She returns fire with her own weapon.

"To tell you guys the truth," Fry said, "I was starting to get bored." He rubs his hands together happily. "All I can say is it's about time we get some action on this trip!"

The remaining two robots step closer as the gang hides behind computer mainframes for safety.

"If only we could get to that big laser cannon over there," said Blinky. "We might be able to turn the tables on these bots!"

"If we could get past them somehow," said Jenny.

"And what about that globe up there?" asked Bucky pointing upwards. "That could be useful!"

"How?" asked Fry.

"Perhaps we can use it as some kind of trap?" suggested Bucky. "It looks like we could bring it crashing down if we applied a little weight!"

"So who weighs the most?" asked Fry.

"That would be you dummy!" said Deadeye as he peeks out to fire off a shot.

By now, Fry is reaching his limit with Deadeye's insults.

"Bruiser, throw Fry up at that globe!" said Bucky.

Bruiser grunts in reply and grabs Fry before he can react. The baboon then throws him up with all his strength towards the hanging globe.Fry grabs the sphere and hangs on tight. The sphere isn't big enough for him to completely wrap his arms around, but it's enough for him to get a good grip. The two robots meanwhile look up at him and begin to raise their arms where their laser cannons are equipped.

"I knew this wasn't a good idea!" he gulped.

"Come on gang!" said Bucky motioning for the others to follow him into the open, "we need to get out into the open to distract their attention away from Fry!"

Quickly, the crew of the Righteous Indignation leap out from behind shelter, firing their weapons to draw the attention of the two security bots. Distracted by enemy fire, the robots turn away from Fry and take aim at the crew of mammals.

"How are you holding up Fry?" Jenny calls up to him as she and her comrades back away as the robots advance.

"I'm having a ball!" he shouts. He laughs at this little joke. Suddenly, at that moment, he feels the globe begin to pull downward under the gravity of his weight. The ropes holding it up snap. He lets go just as it falls to the floor below. Luckily, one of the security robots happens to be standing underneath and receives a direct hit to the head. The blow causes severe damage to its internal sensors. With a shudder, the robot falls to the floor and lies still.

"It worked!" said Bucky. "That just leaves one!"

The remaining robot advances on Fry as he climbs to his feet. But just as it levels its weapon at him, Brusier leaps onto its back and grabs its head with both hands. Grunting, he begins to pull the robot's head back with all his strength. With a mighty battle roar, Bruiser leaps off it's back, tearing off the bot's head. A shower of sparks and a small column of smoke rises from the broken stump of the neck and torn wires. The robot makes clawing motions at where it's head is formerly located before collapsing like a chopped down tree.

Bruiser tosses away the decapitated bot's head and beats his chest in victory.

"Nice job King Kong!" said Fry.

"And good work to you too Fry," said Bucky. "We couldn't have pulled if off without you."

"To tell you the truth, I actually liked playing human bait," said Fry. "I'd ask 'Can we do that again?' but I guess it's not possible now."

"I wonder how the security bots were alerted," said Blinky.

"You can't really blame Bruiser," said Deadeye. There was this one door he was unable to force open, so I guess the security system went on alert."

"I have a feeling something very important must be inside that room he couldn't access," said Bucky.

"Well," said Fry. "At least the worst is behind us!" Too late Fry realized he had just spoke one of the magic sentences. Whenever this sentence was spoken, it always seems to trigger bad news. Suddenly, everyone hears what sounds like giant metal hammers pounding at the floor three times a second. The sound gradually gets louder as the source gets closer.

"Calamity and woe!" Blinky shrieks waving his arms in a panic.

"Uh oh, this could be bad!" said Jenny.

The doors slide open as a fourth security robot strides into the chamber. This bot, equal in height to Fry, resembles the upper body of a gorilla with four mechanical spider-like legs attached to the thorax and abdomen of a tarantula. "Targets aquired!" a metallic voice speaks out.

Deadeye glares at Fry. "You and your big mouth!"

The hands of the gorilla-spider hybird security robot open to reveal twin cannons.

"Look out everybody!" Bucky shouts. They all dive for cover behind several mainframes as a continuous beam of pink lasers emit from where the robot's hands used to be. Cautiously, the crew peek out and return fire. The robot's upper body rotates, causing the lasers to circle around the lab.

"What's the plan captain?" asked Blinky. "How will we destroy this one?"

Bucky eyes the laser cannon at the back of the chamber. "Somehow, one of us needs to get to that large laser cannon back there and use it to destroy the robot!"

"But captain," said Blinky worriedly, "what if it's just a test laser in this lab? What if it can't be of any help to us here?"

"That's a risk we're going to have to take!" said Bucky.

"I'll do it!" Jenny announced pointing a thumb backwards at herself. "I'll take control of the laser and blast that robot to the scrap heap!"

"You're a brave woman Jenny," said Bucky as he and the others continue to open fire on the robot. "We'll provide you with enough cover to get to your position. Let us know when you are ready!"

"Aye captain!" said Jenny saluting him.

At her side, Fry gives her a worried glance. "But what if Blinky is right? What if the laser can't destroy the robot?"

Jenny only glances back at him. "It's not the laser that will destroy the robot," she whispers. "Even if it can't, that's not a problem with me!"

"Then what..." Fry's statement dies as he watches a smile spread over Jenny's face. He suddenly has a realization and brightens. "Oh right!" he whispers. "Your powers!"

"I need to get a clear shot at that bot," she says quietly. "But I need to make sure my comrades don't see it happen. I'm supposed to keep these powers a secret...remember?"

"But I know about them," Fry answers with a grin. "So does Willy."

"It's different with you," said Jenny. "You're an outsider and so is he. I trust him Fry and I trust you. And right now, I need to help distract my comrades so they don't see what's happening."

"And how do I go about doing that?" asked Fry. "If you have a plan tell me, cause I certainly don't.

"Well Fry, looks like your wish to once more be human bait is about to come true," said Jenny. "I hate to ask you to put yourself in harm's way again, but I have no choice! I need your help. Can you distract that robot and my comrades?"

Fry grins, thrilled with the possibility of playing 'hero' again. "Not a problem! I'll signal you with a thumbs-up!"

"Cover me boys!" Jenny shouts to the rest of the Righteous Indignation crew. "I'm going in!"

"You got it first Mate Jenny!" said Bucky. "Come on everybody, let's scrap this pile of junk!"

Fry and the rest of the crew emerge from out of hiding as Jenny races to the back of the chamber towards the laser.

"Surround it!" Bucky shouts.

As the crew get into position, Jenny climbs into the chair behind the laser. She turns on the experimental weapon and a faint humming sound is heard in her ears. She presses several buttons. In response, she notices several mirror-like walls rise from the floor ahead.

"Blinky was right!" she mutters to herself. "This is just a test weapon! Oh well, that's why I'm here!"

She watches as a hatch opens in the abdomen section of the spider-hybrid bot and yet another laser cannon rises from outside and opens fire at the rest of the crew. They dive for cover once more.

"It is ready yet Jenny?" Bucky shouts.

"I'm powering up the cannon now Bucky," Jenny calls back trying to stay out of the robot's sight. "Give me just a few more moments!"

"You heard her everybody!" said Bucky. "Back to your positions!"

"You guys take the front! I'll get the rear end!" said Fry as the others come out of hiding. He laughs at this joke. "Rear end, that's funny!"

If their positions were the directions on a compass, Bucky and Blinky surround the robot to the south, with Deadeye on the east and Bruiser to the west while Fry positions himself north.

"Over here you walking scrap heap!" Fry taunts the bot waving his arms in the air. The robot turns its attention to him and approaches, its twin laser cannons at the ready. Fry suddenly holds up a thump in the air.

Jenny activates the cannon to power up and fire. At the same time she rises from her chair as the gems on her wrists and helmet glow. She holds up her arms and charges up a psychic blast that she directs at the robot. The energy strikes the boy and engulfs it for a brief moment. A series of small explosions quickly blows apart two of its legs, one of its arms, and parts of the body before it collapses in a shower of sparks and smoke.

Jenny powers down the cannon and hurries to join her comrades, who unlike Fry are none the wiser about what just happened.

"That was some fine shooting with that cannon First Mate," said Bucky.

"You saved our skins back here Jenny," said Deadeye. "I only wish I could have been the one to fire off the cannon."

"I couldn't have done it without everyone's help," said Jenny, "especially Fry's."

"That was a very brave thing to do Fry," said Bucky. "Risking your life for us and the mission. You have rightfully earned my respect and my trust."

Fry blushes. "All in a days work," he said.

"All in a day's work he says," said Deadeye with sarcasm in his voice. "Sure, I wake up everyday knowing that I'll be shooting robots while doging lasers coming my way."

"Is that the last of the security bots?" asked Blinky.

"Don't say anything Fry," said Deadeye with a glare.

"Oh man!" Fry grumbles to himself. "Even now, he still won't respect me? What's it going to take?"

"I think we're in the clear now gang," said Bucky. "Now let's resume our exploration and try to see if we can find those power cells to restart the generator. We'll start with that room Bruiser couldn't open and see if we can find a way inside."

The crew begins to walk out, leaving behind what's left of four security robots.

Fry and Jenny lag behind. "Good work Fry," said Jenny. Although her words of praise fill him with pride, Fry is still left with the emptiness of feeling unappreciated by Deadeye. Slowly, the rest of the crew have begun to trust and respect him. Deadeye on the other hand still has yet to change his opinion and still dislikes him as much as the moment they met.

"Although I regretted asking you to put yourself in such a dangerous position, it had to be done. I certainly never would have asked Willy to do it, nor would I have allowed him to do so even if he had volunteered! If this mission is going to even more dangerous than I thought, then I for one am glad Willy isn't here."

Fry grins. "Are you sure he's not your boyfriend?"

Jenny groans in reply.

To Be Continued ...

Buddies