Futurama

Fan Fiction

Going Insane 7 - Exodus
By GHT

[Her eye slowly opened and adjusted to the sensual glow of the room. She looked down at her ring which was only capable of representing a small fraction of the love they had together. She looked down at herself, to find she was naked and her skin glistened with sweat and massage oil. The couple had decided that because they like to do it with one another so much that they might as well not wear clothes to bed. Thing is they had no real inhibitions to the idea, even married it would seem a little strange, Leela thought it was a side effect of the oranges.]

[The night before was not like the 5 out of the other 7 nights a week. Last night was special, because it was their six month anniversary. Leela made really sure it was too, in a way only a woman can. Just then she felt someone stir next to her.]

FRY: Good morning my love.

LEELA: Good morning Fry.

FRY: I love you.

LEELA: I love you too.

FRY: Well, I had better take a shower. I have to go buy some more companies today.

LEELA: I will be there soon.

FRY: If you want to.

LEELA: You know I always do.

FRY: Alright then, see you in ten.

[FRY went to take a shower while Leela took care of the bed.]

LEELA: Man, we made a mess yesterday.

[Just like every other day during the week, she had to send the sheets to be washed. Since they got rather sweaty when they you know, wink wink, say no more, along with other stains best not described. Their love could not be more palpable in the air, or would that just be love making?]

[Leela met up with her love while he was in the middle of the rinse phase.]

LEELA: Need your back scrubbed?

FRY: Every morning.

LEELA: Let me just get in there then.

[Just then there is a knock at the door.]

LEELA: Who the hell could that be? Everyone knows never to disturb us here.

FRY: I had better get it, you could use a good rinse after last night.

LEELA: Alright, just come back soon my love, (seductively) I will be waiting.

[FRY went to the door and looked at a video surveillance monitor to see who it was.]

FRY: What the? Brannigan?

ZAPP: Open up in there under article 34 of Brannigan’s Law.

FRY: I though you could never come back here and bother Leela, my wife mind you, ever again.

ZAPP: Quite to the contrary, under article uh, 27, I can change any outcome of the duelling article.

FRY: Well, what the hell do you want then.

ZAPP: We want that technology that you posses.

FRY: I told you people that I would never give it to you. It is too powerful. You could threaten entire galaxies with it.

ZAPP: Since you will not comply, I will have to use article 26, which strips you of all your citizenship in the DOOP Empire, now open up so that we may senselessly beat you and arrest you for a reason we don’t have to tell.

FRY: F**K THAT!!!

[Fry pushes a button and several metal doors come down in front of the already secure door. He then grabs some old battle fatigues from a closet and runs to the bathroom, where his wife is just drying off.]

LEELA: What was that all about?

FRY: No time, here put these on, I have to take care of something.

[He runs to the living room and grabs two large backpacks and dawns the same kind of fatigues that Leela has on. Just then Leela comes into the room, and the computer turns on.]

FRY: Shit! They are hacking my system! We have to cut the connection!

[Leela grabs a conveniently placed fire axe, and cuts the wires leading from the computer to the wall. Fry then runs over to the computer and hooks up a small laptop to it. He then starts working on it.]

FRY: Leela, I want you to put on that pack over there, we have no time. Those bastards are not going to get the knowledge I have of this technology.

LEELA: What are you doing? What are you talking about?

FRY: I am saving all the data to my laptop. Alright, done.

[Just then a lot of pounding is heard at the door.]

ZAPP: We have you partially surrounded, come out and we may only beat you a little.

[Fry paid no heed to the pompous buffoon outside. He just grabbed Nibbler and handed him to Leela, he then accessed a panel and a column in the room opened to reveal a hidden tube that went really far down.]

LEELA: Hey, when did you get this installed?

FRY: Look, no matter what happens I want you to keep going down the tunnel and not turn back. I will meet up with you when I can. GO!!!

[With that he pushed his beloved, as much as he wished he didn’t have to, into the pipe and she fell for a bit until a parachute opened and slowed her decent. Fry turned to see the door giving way. He grabbed his pack and pushed some buttons on another panel. His computer exploded, and all his documents were turned into ash as they too were destroyed. He then jumped into the tube and it closed behind them to conceal his escape route for a while.]

[He too drifted with a parachute to the bottom of the tube, where he saw a confused, yet angry Leela.]

LEELA (angrily): What was all that about!?

FRY: They just stripped us of our citizenship, us and everyone else we know.

LEELA: They can’t do that.

FRY: They can with Brannigan’s law.

LEELA: You mean he was here. How? The duel and all.

FRY: Some other article allowed him to reverse it. But that is now important, here get into the hover car, we have to get to planet express and escape this planet.

LEELA: Planet?

FRY: Yes, they will hunt us down as long as I know the secrets of this technology. Now I will explain when we are safe. We have to go now!

[With that the two of them hurried into the small hover car and traveled through the sewers to a manhole under the planet express building. They then climbed up inside to find they were in the hangar.]

FRY: Hey everyone! To the ship NOW!!!

AMY: What are you yelling about; the ship is not done yet.

FRY: Will it fly us into deep space?

AMY: Well yeah, but there are no furnishings yet, and then engines need a final calibration, not to mention we haven’t gone for any supplies yet. The professor is only 160 you know, he can’t build’em like he used to.

FRY: Fill the ship with whatever we may need for a really long trip; we have some things in the hover car bellow, load those too. We have a lot to do and no time to waste. They will be here any minute.

AMY: Can I ask why we have to do all this?

FRY: Tell you later when we are all not being tortured and beaten for information. I have to see the professor. Leela load the ship, Amy I want you to calibrate the engines.

[Fry heads for the professor’s lab leaving Leela and Amy to work with the ship.]

[In the lab]

FRY: Professor, we have to go, we are all in great danger.

Farnsworth: Wha? What do you mean?

FRY: The DOOP they want to steal all the technology that I got, and you are the only other one who has any idea how it all works. That means you leave with me.

Farnsworth: Alright then, let me just pack up some things I was working on.

[The professor mills about while Fry helps and grabs everything he can find and takes things to the ship for transport.]

LEELA: Alright, we have loaded all the stuff we can use. What now?

FRY: Load the professors stuff, and Amy, you warm up the ship. I have a robot to get.

[He runs to the TV room where Bender is watching All my circuits.]

FRY: Bender we have to get to the ship.

BENDER: Not now meatbag, I have to see this, it is the season finale.

FRY: That is an order private!

BENDER: Sir! Yes sir! I hate you!

[The robot Goes to the ship, when FRY hears a familiar voice on a loud speaker outside.]

ZAPP: Everyone in the building under article 27 now has been stripped of their citizenships in the DOOP. Come out now, and you will only be roughed up a little. I promise only to make moderate sexual advances on Leela.

LEELA (from an open window): F**k you, Zapp!

[Fry runs to the ship where Amy has warmed up the engines, the professor was onboard, Leela and Bender finished loading the ship, and all they had to do was take off. Fry ran into the ship and took the controls from Amy.]

AMY: You could have asked before you knocked me out of my seat you know.

FRY: Sorry, no time, must go now. Strap in.

[She strapped in without any more question and the hangar doors opened.]

FRY: Alright, this is going to be a bumpy ride, brace yourselves.

[With that Fry Gunned the engines and the ship blasted off into the sky, all the laser fire from the ground either missed horribly or was absorbed by the shield. Once in orbit however things got even worse.]

[There waiting were several DOOP battle ships all waiting to attack the ship as it escaped.]

FRY: Leela, take the controls, I am going up to the turret.

[Leela took the controls and Fry began to fire from the turret. Several small fighters came from the larger battle ships, but Fry was able to take them down with relative difficulty. The larger ships began firing, but the shield was able to take most of it. However, some shots got through and damaged the ship.]

LEELA: Amy, damage report!

AMY: Too early to tell!

LEELA: We need hyperspace now damnit!

AMY: Just a few more seconds!

[The Planet Express Ship flew off at high speed and then went into hyperspace where no other vessel could come after it.]

FRY: That was insane!

AMY: We totally had that fight to ourselves.

Farnsworth: Indeed, my improvements to the ship are very good.

LEELA: We are not out of trouble yet, I have detected a hull breach and the engines are beginning to overheat. We have to land, or we will all die.

[The ship then came out of hyperspace around the orbit of a strange green planet.]

AMY: How about we land there?

LEELA: Looks good to me.

[The ship lands in a swamp and sinks down slightly in the muddy ground.]

FRY: Alright, professor you finish and repair the ship, Amy you help him, Bender you unload the supplies and take them to where the stuff has to go. Leela and I will asses any damage done to the ship. Move! YOU TOO PRIVATE!!!

[Everyone leaves for the engine room at the back of the ship. And Bender went to the cargo bay to unpack all the things they brought. This left Fry and Leela alone for a while.]

LEELA: Alright, this has gone on long enough, why are we running for our lives again?

FRY: A few days ago I was approached by some DOOP representatives who offered me a whole lot of money in return for giving them all the technology that I know of. I turned them down saying that it was too powerful for an army that would make Zapp a captain again.

LEELA: So that explains what happened this morning, but why would you have an escape tunnel and gear already ready in our home like that?

FRY: Just because I have that childish charm about me doesn’t mean I don’t have a more serious survivalist side to me. Having a survivalist dad will do that to you.

LEELA: Wow, I never really saw this side of you. I always thought that although more mature you would always be a little on the childish side.

FRY: Oh I still am, but sometimes you just have to let go of the childlikeness for a short while to survive.

LEELA: I love you even more FRY.

FRY: I love you too, LEELA.

[They kiss passionately and then pull apart once they are satisfied.]

LEELA: I had better go look for damage.

FRY: I should make sure that robot is doing his job right.

[They two part company and head to where they need to go to complete their tasks.]

 

[A few hours later the repairs are complete, but the professor has some important news.]

Farnsworth: Bad news everyone, although I have fixed the engines and completed the ship it will be at least five more hours before the ships power cells are charged enough to activate the engines.

AMY: I have bad news too. We have no beds, or other furniture for that matter. Our food will last about a day, and water will run out soon. Also it has a funky metal taste to it.

FARNSWORTH: Another spot of bad news is that our life support systems are only at 70% capacity, that means there is no water filtration, proper waste disposal.

FRY: What does work on this ship anyway?

AMY: Well, life support will work for a while at least the air part will, the engines still need some finishing touches, the turret gun is good to go, but we have no torpedoes of missiles yet.

LEELA: Well that is not so bad.

FRY: We could go exploring on the planet’s surface while we wait for the power cells to charge up.

AMY: I will get the hiking gear.

[All of the crew except Bender, who is still unloading stuff, disembark and go into a strange cave where at the end they see a huge deep lake of green goo.]

Farnsworth: Fascinating, I will have to get closer to find out what this stuff is made of. It is not like anything I have ever seen.

LEELA: Alright, lets go, just be careful. You all know bad things happen to us on these planets.

[They move to a ledge over the bubbling cauldron, more like a cliff hangover.]

Farnsworth: Just a few more minutes and I will have finished my examination.

[Just then the Ledge broke and everyone fell into the pool before they could try to grab at anything or even scream for that matter.]

[Amy is the first one out of the primordial soup, followed by Leela and Fry.]

AMY: What happened to you two?

LEELA: What do you mean? Huh, Fry, why do you look so different?

FRY: Me different, look at yourself!

[They all look at each others bodies to find that they all have been changed and made younger by the strange goop.]

[Leela, who was near the age of thirty, is much slimmer and better looking in many physical respects, Fry has regressed the same as Leela. He is also better looking than before. They both have gone back to the way they looked when they were both about 25 years old. Amy, who was about 25’ish is now about 22’ish and looks a heck of a lot cutter than before.]

AMY: Hey, I am even cuter now than when I was this age.

FRY: I am way better looking too, you too Leela.

[Leela looks at herself and realizes she is much slimmer and better looking with a few improvements in a few key woman areas.]

FRY: Hey, where is the professor?

LEELA: He must still be in there!

AMY: I am not going in. we could regress to be children or worse….Teens.

FRY: I am not going though that again.

LEELA: Nope, me neither.

[They all looked on in horror as the professor did not surface for many tense moments, just then someone came up at the bank of the pool. A slim muscular figure with a thick head of orange hair and a good physique.]

Farnsworth: Ahhh!!! Everything is blurry! I can’t see!

[Amy went over and took his glasses off.]

Farnsworth: What is going on? Why do you all look so much younger?

LEELA: We look younger? Look at yourself first.

[The confused professor looked down and saw that he too had regressed much more drastically than the others due to his over exposure to the goo. He had regressed to be about the age of 23 and with better characteristics than when he really was 23.]

Farnsworth: Take that death! See you in 140 years! YEAH!!!!

LEELA: I think we should go back to the ship. It had been a while and I want to get this crap off me.

AMY: It’s so sticky and slimy. Ewwwww.

FRY: I need a serious shower to get this stuff off.

Farnsworth: I need to take some samples. This stuff could make us all rich.

FRY: If we ever live through this mess that is.

LEELA: Yeah, lets go.

[They all go back to the ship, Farnsworth leading the way having found his new vitality and stamina.]

[Once back aboard they find the lazy ass robot Bender has unpacked everything and put it into its rightful place.]

FRY: Good job bender.

LEELA: For once it looks like you did something right.

BENDER: Who the hell are you?

Farnsworth: It is me the professor.

AMY: Youth goo.

BENDER: Humans and their stupid aging. I have been around for 1064 years and you don’t see me going off to become young again.

[The ship takes off and heads into deep space where to crew hope to find a good place to hide.]

 

[Back on Earth a captive Zoidburg, Scruffy, and Cubert are in jail awaiting to be interrogated.]

CUBERT: What do they want with us? I was right in the middle of my finals.

SCRUFFY: Scruffy don’t know who you all are, I was on the beach when you all grabbed me.

ZOIDBURG: I haven’t eaten in days.

CUBERT: Shut up.

SCRUFFY: Scruffy agrees.

[Cubert is lead into a small room where a familiar man is sitting at a table.]

ZAPP: We need to have a little talk about what you know as far as the new technology is concerned.

CUBERT: I have no idea. My father never told me anything.

ZAPP: Don’t want to talk ay, well we have ways of making you talk.

[He pulls out a laser pistol and sets it to kill.]

ZAPP: Well freak you want to talk or die?

CUBERT: What do you mean? I am not a freak.

ZAPP: You do realize that under article 22 of Brannigan’s law clones have no rights, can’t own property, because technically you do not have a soul and as far as the system is concerned, when your original dies you are legally dead. Do you know what that means?

[The evil captain gets a sinister look on his face.]

CUBERT (Fearing for his life): No please I have no Inf…….

[With that Zapp shot him in the head. His blood spattered against a nearby wall and the lifeless corpse fell to the floor with a toneless thud.]

ZAPP: Get this abomination of science out of here. Bring in the lobster.

[Zoidberg is wheeled strapped to a gurney into a bright white room where Zapp is waiting wearing a medical outfit.]

ZAPP: So, the decapodian, the one who caused the war. I understand you are a doctor are you not?

[The freakish lobster man just sits there with a blank look on his face.]

ZAPP: Enough chat freak. I think a little dissection is in order.

[He cuts the lobster man open and takes out some goop and meaty bits.]

ZAPP: No pain? Well then we can’t gain anything without that….

[Zapp pulls out a sack and stabs it. Blood splatters on Zoidburgs face and all over Zapp’s garments.]

[Zoidburg just sits there. Still a blank look on his face.]

ZAPP: Well so much for this one. Bring me the last one.

[Scruffy is brought into a dim room in chains and seated at a chair across the table from Zapp.]

SCRUFFY: What is this all about?

ZAPP: Please enjoy some lobster.

SCRUFFY: Scruffy recons that is the head of the lobster man.

ZAPP: Why yes it is, now please tell me what you know of the Planet Express Crew and where they may be going.

SCRUFFY: Scruffy heard them talken bout deep space, but that is it. I haven’t been there in bout seven months. I was on the beach drinking magaritas when you grabbed me.

ZAPP: What about the new technologies on the ship.

SCRUFFY: Scruffy only knows it uses some weird mineral called naquadah and the ship can go through space really fast.

ZAPP: Ok, well seeing as how you clearly have no idea what the heck is going on, being a janitor like you are. I will have to terminate you. You are the weakest link, goodbye.

[With that he shot scruffy in the head there times. His head shattered in the fray and blood sprayed all over the room]

ZAPP: I really need to find a gun that won’t do that.

GUARD: What do we do with the bodies sir?

ZAPP: Send them to the human burger company. They are always looking for new meat.

(NOTE: I do not think that Zapp is really this evil in the show, that is unless there was some external force working and controlling him.)

 

[Back on the Planet Express Ship it has been a two days and the crew are running low on food and water. The cargo bay is now a make shift laboratory, and all the furniture or lack there of is where it is meant to be. The ship heads through space on regular dark matter engines cloaked to avoid any trouble as the crew head into unfamiliar non-doop space.]

LEELA: Professor, what did you bring from your lab?

Farnsworth: Oh a few things to help us escape the DOOP.

FRY: Like what?

Farnsworth: Well for example these.

[Pulls out four pills]

AMY: What are they?

Farnsworth: My new and improved nanite pills.

FRY: You mean they will give us all those cool nano powers again.

Farnsworth: Indeed they will.

[Everyone looks at the pills and take them.]

LEELA: Well we now have one good tool to use. What else did you get?

Farnsworth: I made an upload and download device for new nano creations.

AMY: So you mean I will be able to become more than a samari.

Farnsworth: Indeed.

AMY: COOL!!!

LEELA: We will need to conserve food and water for a while until we reach rebel territory. That means no showers, bare bone rations, and one glass of water a day.

AMY: We are going to have to really cut back.

BENDER: Hey everyone, do we have some more beer?

FRY: I think I see one thing to take care of.

BENDER: Why is everyone staring at me like that?

[Fry walks up to bender and holds him on the shoulder.]

FRY: Sorry. Goodnight sweet prince.

BENDER: Hey that is no……..

[Fry switched bender off and pulled his systems disk.]

LEELA: I never thought you would ever do that to your best friend.

FRY: You gotta do what you gotta do. Besides he keeps wanting me to go to see saucy puppet shows, and I find it is just so wrong now that I am married. I just couldn’t stand him any more.

AMY: Well that will conserve beer. What else can we conserve?

Farnsworth: I am afraid that we do not have anything left to turn off. We will just have to budget.

LEELA: This may get a little hard to do.

 

[Several days later all are starving. There is no food left and water is down to its minimum.]

AMY: Need food, losing cute belly.

LEELA: So hungry. We have to find some food quick.

FRY: Bong hits not helping. Serious case of the munchies.

Farnsworth: I didn’t know we had some weed.

FRY: Found it in the van, remember the time distortion device?

LEELA: Well the only thing we have left like food is beer.

FRY (clearly stoned): Wow my hand is like so big. I can like crush things.

AMY: Well might as well go drunk.

LEELA: Good point. We should reach rebel space by the day after tomorrow.

 

[After a few hours of drinking, everyone is extremely drunk, when they all get to talking about things.]

AMY: No so seriously how many times did you two do it?

LEELA: I lost count, between the champagne laced with aphrodisiacs, and the casual protected sex I have no clue.

FRY: Me neither, but I love it all just the same.

LEELA: How many men have you screwed, Amy?

AMY: Uhhhh, before or after…..Kif?

[At the mention of her lost fiancé tears begin to well up in Amy’s eyes.]

FRY: Sorry, we didn’t mean to make you cry.

AMY (trying to hold back the tears): No it is ok, it is just…I love him so much!

[With that she began really crying and curled up into a ball on the floor.]

LEELA: We should get her to her room.

FRY: Just a sec, where are we again?

[ They all decide to head to their rooms for the night. Fry stays in the lounge for a while passed out on the floor while Leela goes to her room for a nice nap. Suddenly there is a knock at her door.]

LEELA: Hang on a sec.

[She opens the door and an intoxicated young Farnsworth stumbles in. He sees her in a white bath robe, obviously planning to get a little more comfortable before bed, hint hint wink wink.]

AMY: Sorry. But do you have a minute to talk?

LEELA: Sure sit down over here.

[They sit across from each other, the new Amy looking at the rejuvenated Leela and then looking at herself.]

LEELA: What did you want to talk about?

AMY: Uh, are those rebels we will be getting food from be friendly?

LEELA: I really have no idea, but I thing this ship can handle anything they throw at us.

AMY: Well, you look great now.

LEELA: Thanks, and you look great too.

AMY: Yeah, except for you one huge bloodshot eye that is the size of a cantolope.

LEELA (faking sympathy): Awwwww, that is so nice, you look good too. Except you look stoned out of your mind, and your fiancé is dead too.

[With that Amy runs out of the room with tears welling up in her eyes.]

LEELA (thinking): Maybe I was a little harsh back there….

LEELA: Nahhhhh….revenge is sweet.

[Meanwhile we see Farnsworth stumble out of the bathroom after relieving himself and trying to make his way down the corridor to what he thinks is his room. He then hears crying and whimpering from Amy’s room. He knocks on the door.]

AMY: Wait a minute, let me put some clothes on.

[Unknown to many people Amy prefers to sleep in the nude, especially now since she had the orange on Eden.]

[The inebriated Farnsworth stumbles into the room and sits down next to the also drunk Amy.]

Farnsworth: Why were you crying, I didn’t get the whole story back during the drunken get together.

AMY: It is just, I was so close to marrying Kif, but now I will never get the chance.

Farnsworth: Kif’s death was hard on us all Amy. We just have to learn to live trough these things.

AMY: It is time like these that I just need someone to hold me, you like to hold me don’t you?

Farnsworth: I can do that.

[He begins to put the moves on Amy, who suddenly pulls away.]

AMY: This feels wrong. I mean you are like over 160 years old.

Farnsworth: So? FRY is what over 1025 years old, and you never had a problem sleeping with him. It is the body that counts in my book.

AMY: Good point.

[She then grabs Farnsworth and begins to kiss him passionately.]

 

[Meanwhile in the next room, FRY opens the door and stumbles into the room to find his wife naked on the bed half asleep. By bed I mean some emergency blankets on the floor in a square shape with some sheets and pillows.]

FRY: Oh, sorry. I will just sleep in the next room.

LEELA: What are you talking about? I am your wife, come over here my cute little drunken angel.

FRY: Oh I thought I was in the wrong room.

[He wanders toward the bed undressing all the way and gets in nude, like all he other nights before.]

LEELA: Hey, do you hear that?

FRY: Who is Amy f**king now?

LEELA: Well the only other guy on this ship is…..Oh man that slut!

FRY: You mean she is getting down with….Oh my God!!!!

[They both break into a laughing rage, to the point of cringing with pain. It soon subsides as they run out of breath.]

LEELA: You know it has been a while since we well you know.

FRY: Cuddled?

LEELA: No, I mean that other thing.

FRY: Oh, well I just….

[They too begin kissing passionately and get down for that night]

[The next day Leela awakens with a splitting headache, bad hangover, a lot less fresh, and no shower to use. But she still felt good inside with her beloved in her embrace. He felt so warm and nice. Too bad she had to get up to pilot the ship.]

LEELA: I have to go. You sleep, I’ll bring you some water or beer whatever we got.

FRY: Oh man, my head. No beer please.

[Leela walks to the bridge to find Amy at the controls.]

LEELA: So how was last night with the professor?

AMY: He was pretty goo…..crap

LEELA: HA! I knew it! Back to your old ways and so soon after Kif dies. He is what like over 150 years old.

AMY: So you and Fry do it like freaking rabbits, and he is technically over 1025!

LEELA: At least I don’t sleep with just anyone who asks!

AMY: Oh so selective, like that time with Zapp.

[With that Leela lost the will to continue in her eyes and fell to the ground crying.]

AMY: Oh sorry, I didn’t mean…..

LEELA: You have no idea what it is like! You sleep with just about anyone and everyone, and I mess up once, and nobody can just let it go! Well I am married now and that is all that matters. I love Fry and he loves me!

[Just then a message comes through the video display.]

LEELA (suddenly ok): Hey a message.

AMY: Who is it?

[An image of Kif appears on the video communicator.]

KIF: Severely injured, life support failing, falling into a black hole, please help.

[Farnsworth and Fry come running into the room when they hear that they have a communication coming in.]

Farnsworth: Wha? Who is it?

AMY: KIF!!! You're alive!!!

KIF: Um well yes I suppose I am for the time being.

FRY: Do you have food?

KIF: Uh well yes I do have plenty, but I will die before I ever use it all.

[Farnsworth and Amy look around the room for a second]

Farnsworth: Where did they go?

[Cut to Fry and Leela in the miniature Planet Express Ship headed toward Kif’s position.]

LEELA: ETA 20 minutes. I don’t know about this that is awfully close to the black hole.

FRY: Don’t worry as long as we have to naquadah sub light engines we should be fine.

[A few minutes later they dock with Kif’s ship, and go on board.]

FRY: I got the food, you get the green dude.

LEELA: Right.

[Leela grabs the now lifeless Kif and puts him in a stasis tube. Fry takes all the food and water there is on the ship along with a laptop Kif must have been using. They close the hatch and jettison the other ship.]

FRY: Alright, we should be back in about five hours fighting the gravity.

LEELA: I hope we don’t eat the food before then.

FRY: How is Kif anyway? I thought he was vaporized in some reactor accident.

LEELA: Well he will make it, but as for the accident. I think that DOOP covered up his desertion in order to hunt him down with impunity.

FRY: And to think I thought they were a good organization that brought peace throughout the universe.

[Just then there is a sound of the engines powering down.]

FRY: AW crap!

LEELA: What happened?

FRY: The intense gravity caused the naquadariah energy buffer to blow.

LEELA: Can we still get back using the Dark matter engines?

FRY: Yeah, but that means heading towards the black hole for another slingshot manoeuvre.

LEELA: What desolate planet will it send us to this time I wonder.

FRY: None, the computer shows it will send us back to earth.

LEELA: Well we can still get back to here from there right?

FRY: Yeah, but it will be a firefight getting back. This ship is not nearly as good as the full sized one. It would take twice as long too.

[The small ship turns toward the black hole and gains incredible speed. Inside Leela is at the back of the ship and Fry is at the front at the controls.]

LEELA (in a slow low voice): How-Much-Longer?

FRY (in a fast chipmunk voice): I have no idea we are hitting a lot of time distortion come over here.

[LEELA walks toward FRY seemingly very slowly.]

LEELA: What the heck it with our voices?

FRY: The intense gravity distorts both time and space. Right now to the large Planet Express Ship we are moving incredibly slow.

LEELA: Why didn’t this happen the last time?

FRY: The real Planet Express Ship has a time distortion cancellation device. It gives off an equal but opposite distortion of time around the ship, that way hyperspace doesn’t change the era we arrive in.

LEELA: So when we come out of this we will be in the future.

FRY: Yes. And if this all turns out Ok we wont be hunted down either.

LEELA: Well how much longer until the overly dramatic moment?

FRY: About two more hours. Why?

LEELA: That’s enough time, come here you.

FRY: If your gonna go, might as well go happy.

 

[Nearly Two hours later the couple are in bed next to each other naked and still a bit out of breath.]

LEELA: Best last minutes of my life love I ever had.

FRY: I had better make sure it is not, that way we can do this again….probably tomorrow.

[He gets dressed and takes the controls.]

FRY: Alright it is now or never.

[He hits a few buttons and the ship gains more speed as it is slung around the black hole. It is flung through space at tremendous speed and come to rest in orbit around earth.]

FRY: Well so much for that everything naquadah is useless. Also nibbler has been a little less regular with the dark matter packages.

LEELA: We should land.

FRY: Yeah good idea, not like we have much to loose, just be ready for anything.

[He hands her a cyanide pill, he takes one and puts it in his pocket.]

LEELA: You don’t mean….

FRY: If it comes to it we will have to. I know too much, and you know where to others were, it would be better for everyone this way.

[They come to land at the now old planet express building. They then disembark to find two seemingly familiar people there waiting for them.]

[One is a man with purple hair and orange streaks, he has Leela’s nose, two eyes, and looks mostly like Fry the rest of the way.]

[The other is a woman with orange hair and purple streaks, Fry’s nose, two eyes, but mostly looks like Leela.]

JOSH: Welcome Mom, dad

LEELA: Mom?

FRY: Dad?

LEELA: Yes we are your two children.

LEELA: This is a bit much. I mean I knew it would happen eventually, but wow.

[Josh looks down at Leela’s belly]

JOSH: I am in there right now.

LEELA: As am I.

FRY: You mean she is….

JOSH: Yes.

LEELA: Well what did we name you two?

JOSH: I am Josh, and this is my sister Leela.

LEELA: You gave me your old last name as my first, because you thought is was a beautiful name.

JOSH: Well we should show you around, come here.

[They look out a window and see an almost utopian society far more advanced than earth of the year 3004.]

FRY: Wow, and I thought things couldn’t get more futuristic.

JOSH: Yes your company marketed your nephew Farnsworth’s inventions allowing for the birth of this super advanced society.

[Leela stares at her daughter and notices something a little off with how one of her eyes moves. It is not quite in sync with the other.]

LEELA: What is wrong with your eye?

LEELA (kid): Well you see I was born with one eye, like you, but a few days ago I decided to get an eye transplant. I now can see with two eyes and I tell you it is a real shock to find that the home you built is disproportionate to the max.

LEELA: But it is the differences that make people special.

LEELA (kid): That is what you told me, but I decided to get it anyway, it is a real hard to pilot a ship with no depth perception you know.

LEELA: I know.

[At that moment two people walk into the room.]

LEELA: Hey! Who are you?

LEELA 2: I am you 250 years from when you traveled to the future.

[Fry looking at the future Leela noticed she was a lot better looking than the present one. He then notices his future self. He was ripped with muscles and really good looking.]

LEELA: You can’t be me! I would never get a breast enlargement! You tricked me didn’t you!

[She slaps Fry]

LEELA 2: I assure you that the double D’s and better looking body are not from surgery. They are from that youth goo you found on that planet.

FRY 2: Yeah, after this is all over you two bought the planet and started a multi trillion dollar enterprise of selling time in one of the many youth goo pits.

LEELA: Well this is all fine and good, but how do we get back to our own time?

FRY 2: Hang one let me get the time machine.

[Concentrates and a small device flies over from across the room.]

FRY: How did you do that?

FRY 2: Your unique brainwave is quite superior to all others especially the delta. It takes genetic dominance in 99% of births. It also has special abilities you have yet to understand and use.

LEELA 2: You defeated the brain spawn long ago and nibbler revealed himself to be part of an ancient race called the nibblonians.

LEELA: Wait, I thought Fry just made up that crazy story.

FRY 2: No it really happened alright, and soon the final battle will be won.

[Fry looking at the device trying to figure out how it works, and not really paying attention to what was just said.]

FRY: So we just push the button and the ship is sent back in time to where we last left off.

LEELA 2: That is about the size of it. Also it will burn out and can’t be used again.

FRY: Wait a second, I thought that you should never meet your past self or the universe would be destroyed.

[LEELA 2 and FRY 2 look at each other. Everyone in the room puts on sunglasses.]

LEELA: This wont hurt a bit, because you wont remember it did.

[She pulls out a long rod and there is a bright flash in the room. Next thing Leela and Fry know they are in each others embrace approaching the Planet Express Ship.]

FRY: What happened?

LEELA: How did we get here?

[They dock with the Planet Express Ship and come inside to find Farnsworth and Amy looking out a porthole in astonishment.]

FRY: What are you two looking at?

AMY: You.

LEELA: How is that possible?

[They all look out the window to see the small ship still going around the black hole.]

Farnsworth: Indeed it appears that you two must have gone to the future due to time dilation and just now took a time machine back.

AMY: Hey what is that in your back pocket?

[Fry reaches in and pulls out a thick soft covered book with a note attached. He reads the note.]

NOTE: Here is your copy of How to use the Fry wave. Along with some information of rebel strongholds. PS. Be sure to use the youth goo a lot. Signed Phillip J. Fry and Toronga Leela Fry.

LEELA: Now I am really freaked out here.

FRY: I should read this book.

Farnsworth: Well this all settled lets get Kif out of the stasis tank you all most likely put him in.

[They go to the ship to find Kif in the tank banging on the glass trying to get out. They let him out and he immediately covers his shame with a towel.]

AMY: KIF!!! YOU'RE ALIVE!!!

KIF: When did I die?

[He barely even has time to say that when Amy tackles him and they begin to kiss passionately.]

LEELA: Ok get a room you two.

[They pull apart and Kif begins to speak.]

KIF: I was going to be demoted for eating fish with red wine on a Friday, so I decided that I was going to find out what the heck was going on in DOOP. And it is not pretty. All the evidence of galactic war crimes, scandal, incest, murder, and a shadow leadership in the DOOP are all in my laptop. You did get it right?

FRY: Yeah I have it right here.

LEELA: I never thought the DOOP were that bad.

KIF: Speaking of which, what are you all doing so close to Rebel territory?

AMY: We had to escape from the DOOP too.

FRY: Yeah, I came across technology that the DOOP really want, and I was unwilling to give.

LEELA: Those bastards stripped us of our citizenship, and by non other than…him.

KIF: No you don’t mean

FRY: Yes, Brannigan the most cowardly and retarded of all captains.

AMY: Not captain anymore.

FRY: What do you mean?

AMY: This just came in over the subspace radio network. He is now grand admiral Brannigan.

LEELA: No way! That means that he is the single most powerful military leader in all of the DOOP!

Farnsworth: I am afraid that there is even bigger news. He has just voided your marriage under article 49 of brannigan’s law. We also have a hefty bounty on all of our heads. A trillion for Amy, Bender, and Myself. Ten times that much for Kif, Leela, And you Fry.

KIF: This is bad. This is real bad.

FRY: Why?

LEELA: Are you still that dense! That is the larges bounty put on anyone ever!!! Now even the rebels wont try to capture us and sell us back to the DOOP!

AMY: We could use my latest invention you know.

Farnsworth: Invention? I thought only I made those around here.

AMY: These are my new disguise units. They look like small disks. You put it anywhere on your body and you change into the image that you want. Look.

[She puts one on and transforms into scruffy.]

FRY: Ha! ha! ha! You look just like that janitor guy! Let me try.

[He puts one on and turns into Amy.]

FRY: Hey even the flesh feels real.

LEELA: Give me one of those!

[She puts one on and is made to look like FRY.]

FARNSWORTH: Things just get stranger and stranger. He puts one on and is turned into Leela.

AMY: Alright, take them off. This is getting a little confusing.

[They all take them off and return to their original forms.]

LEELA: These are just what we need to get by without ever being caught.

AMY: Yeah, you look, feel, and even sound like the person you are mimicking with these devices. You can even store up to twenty different images on them too.

FARNSWORTH: Indeed. I wish I had thought of these. But I have something better to show you all today.

LEELA: What?

FARNSWORTH: My what if machine.

FRY: We already saw that, I mean you only gave it to us for a wedding gift.

FARNSWORTH: IT is not the device that counts it is how you use it in a different way.

AMY: How so professor?

FARNSWORTH: Like this, observe as I ask it a what if question: What if we meet with the rebels and do not use the mimic devices?

[An image appears of everyone being captured, they are all then interrogated, Amy is killed, along with Kif. Fry cracks when they threaten the life of Leela and he builds a doomsday device using the new technology. Once it has been successfully tested Brannigan personally Kills Fry and takes Leela as they huddle in a final embrace. The second device they use destroys the omnicronians, but the explosion keeps growing and destroys the entire universe….Fryhole style. The simulation ends.]

FRY: Wow that sucked.

LEELA: We must not loose or break these devices no matter what.

FARNSWORTH: Speaking of the future, I am hungry, where is the food?

[They look into the small ship to find that it has been stocked with food and water from Kif’s ship. Enough to last them a few days in deep space, and on bare bone rations for that matter.]

[After a night of eating and telling stories of what happened, everyone retires to their rooms for the night. FRY and LEELA in theirs, Amy and Kif in Amy’s room, and the professor in FRYs old room with a shutdown Bender.]

[In Amy and Kif’s room.]

AMY: It has been so long, I thought you were dead.

KIF: I thought I would never see you again. They nearly killed me when I tried to escape with all he data. I got everything there is to get on the DOOP.

AMY: You were never forced to do any of these things were you?

KIF: No, I was in a cover brigade really. We actually did help secure peace in different regions in space.

AMY: You know we are still engaged.

[They move closer and begin kissing passionately. Kif’s camouflage reflex kicks in, but that does not slow them down.]

[In the next room]

FRY: Well it was only a matter of time.

LEELA: I still can’t believe that they would void our marriage like that.

FRY: The bastard probably thinks that you will still go back to him even after all he has done to you.

LEELA: You know marriage is more than just what is written on a document somewhere.

FRY: It is the spiritual bond a man and a woman have that counts.

LEELA: I am closer to you than anyone I ever knew, ever.

FRY: As am I.

[Their lips draw near, when Leela speaks.]

LEELA: You know now that we have water, I need to take a shower.

FRY: Me too. I smell all musty from sweating and stuff.

LEELA: You are coming with me you dirty little boy you.

[They both strip and get into the shower together. Throughout the ship the sounds of everyone’s passionate lovemaking can be heard. This upsets a certain professor.]

FARNSWORTH: Damn kids! Can’t anyone get some sleep around here.

 

[The next day, two most satisfied couples are seen on the bridge when a disgruntled Farnsworth comes onto the bridge, eyes bloodshot, spirits crushed.]

LEELA: What happened to you last night?

FARNSWORTH: I don’t want to talk about it, lets just say that it was a little too noisy to get any sleep before 4:00 AM!

AMY: Sorry professor, I was just a little happy to see KIf.

FRY: Leela and I were just a little in the mood as well.

FARNSWORTH: Well that is all fine and good, do what you want, just keep it down please. Anyway, how much farther to the rebel colony?

LEELA: We should be there within the hour.

AMY: Alright, time to put on the disguises.

[Everyone puts on the disguises and turn into everyone else.]

LEELA: Ok, I look like Fry, change.

[All change to look like random people nobody knows.]

FRY: This is good. I look like a nobody, just like when I came to the future.

FARNSWORTH: Well then let us get ready. You say that no matter what we have on underneath the disguise it will not show.

Amy: Yep.

FARNSWORTH: Excellent.

FRY: Wait, I have made a new invention too.

LEELA: You? You never made one before.

FRY: I made it with the knowledge in my head. Look.

[He takes a square piece of metal out of his pocket and it forms legs and claws and such.]

AMY: What is it?

FRY: It was called a PRA, a personal robotic assistant. I had them replicate last night, there are about a thousand on the ship now. They are all in the air vents and hiding, so that nobody notices them.

LEELA: What will we do with them?

FRY: They can clean up and install all the things we are going to have to buy from the rebels to make this trip bearable.

AMY: What are we going to buy?

FRY: Well this ship is really under stocked. We have little furnature, our beds are not more than some blankets in the corner of rooms, we have no computers not needed for the ship to run, we have almost no lab equipment, and one communal shower, a small one at that and in our room.

AMY: Yeah, I can see the conflict there, but the other one was never built.

FRY: I am going down to do a little ship shopping.

LEELA: How? we have no money.

FRY: Do you remember what was in that car?

LEELA: I never checked why?

FRY: It was the universal cash, solid gold, I made sure the escape plan was complete you know.

AMY: We are coming into dock in a few minutes, we should stand ready, we might find some trouble here.

[The crew approach the rebel ship. They notice it is a large ship with many decks, more like a giant moving space colony.]

LEELA: Ok we are cleared to dock. I want you all to be ready for anything. I all else fails come back to the ship. Only we will be able to get in.

FRY: It’s cool the map I got said that this place is always alright to go to, as long as we have our disguises on.

LEELA: How can you be so sure? Ah well that doesn’t matter, we are here and there is no turning back now.

FRY: Alright, everyone try not to walk to close to anyone. We don’t want to start something over what we have under our disguises.

[Everyone disembarks and stands a distance away from the ship. FRY pulls out a remote and pushes a button. The ship is covered by a lot of metal panels, the shield goes up around it, and then it changes into a crummy cargo transport.]

LEELA: When did you put that in?

FRY: Day before we left.

AMY: Did you use my device plans?

FRY: Some, it is not as good though.

FARNSWORTH: Whatever, lets just get some supplies and get out of here.

NIRTI: Hello, I am Nirti, your guide through our ship.

[All look over to see a tall white woman who looked completely human, except for a large gem embedded in her forhead.]

FRY: What’s with the gem?

[He is quickly jabbed in the stomach by Leela.]

NIRTI: Latest fashion craze. Anyway, let me show you to the market place.

[She leads them into what looks like a huge mall.]

FRY: Um we do not have Any real money, just gold, can we make an exchange?

NIRTI: Yes, over there at the booth.

[They all go over to the booth and a woman is behind the glass window.]

CLERK: How may I help you?

LEELA: We need to exchange our gold for whatever you all use.

CLERK: We use gold actually. Universal cash.

FRY: Ok, how much will this get us?

[He holds up a large metal suitcase, and opens it to reveal a whole lot of cold hard shimmering gold.]

CLERK: That will get you anything at any time anywhere for a very long time.

FRY: What is the rate anyhow?

CLERK: It is on a one to one basis with the DOOP currency.

AMY: Why do you take gold like that?

CLERK: Our agents always need cash.

FRY: Alright then, here you go.

[Hands to woman the case, she fills it with gold bills…made of gold.]

(NOTE: I Like GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD.)

LEELA: Uh, where do we go to sell info on the DOOP?

CLERK: That would be down and to the left.

[They all leave and spot a huge shop with a bunch of shadowy figures wearing trench coats.]

MAN: Pst, got a secret?

FRY: Tons, gonna buy?

MAN: What ya got?

KIF: Evidence of war crimes, incest, shadow leadership, names, addresses, blood thirsty cruelty.

MAN: Good, how does this wet your whistle?

[He opens half a suitcase full of gold in amounts equal to what is in Fry’s one case.]

FRY: Works for me, here is a hard drive copy.

MAN: Yeah, whatever, have a nice day.

[They group walk off and go to get some good things to eat, and some luxury items they do not have on the ship.]

LEELA: Amy and I are going to pick up some feminine items, meet you all back at the ship in a few hours, maybe five.

[The two women walk off leaving the men to do their shopping.]

FARNSWORTH: How much did you give them?

FRY: Handful of gold bills.

KIF: Oh my, I need to get some personal items as well. See you later.

[He grabs some money and runs off.]

FRY: Well it is just you and me nephew.

FARNSWORTH: Well, what do you want to do?

FRY: I do need a new computer.

FARNSWORTH: I could go for some more technology to fiddle with. Not to mention more lab equipment.

[They go into a technology store.]

FRY: Uh, give me the best computers you have.

[A man brings out a hover dolly loaded down with crates.]

FRY: just bring it to the ship in space H12

[The man silently leaves and goes into the hangar.]

FARNSWORTH: I need a lot of the most advanced stuff you have, especially useful lab equipment, like clone-o-matics or DNA manipulators.

[A lot of men come out and bring things to the ship.]

FRY: How much does this come to?

MAN: About 10 Billion.

FRY: This covers it right?

[He hands the man a large wad of gold bills. The mans eyes widen with astonishment.]

MAN: That will do it.

[Fry and Farnsworth leave the store most satisfied with their purchases.]

FARNSWORTH: The ship could always use more weapons.

FRY: Oh oh! Automated chain laser turrets all over the ship!

FARNSWORTH: With doomsday missiles and space torpedoes on the front, back, and sides.

FRY: And we will be able to do it all fully cloaked!

FARNSWORTH: Good idea, lets go.

[They walk into a store named illegal weapons-R-us]

FRY: We need the best full weapons system upgrade you have.

FARNSWORTH: Torpedoes, Missiles, Laser turrets, the works.

FRY: Along with the best shields available, and a super cloaking device that can either make you invisible to all forms of detection or change your signature and visible image to match other kinds of ships, especially DOOP ships.

CLERK: That will take some doing, but for the right price, anything is possible.

FRY: No problem there, will this cover it all?

[He opens a case filled with gold money.]

CLERK: That will do and then some.

FARNSWORTH: Excellent, now what do you have in the way of human weapons?

CLERK: Specify.

FRY: Super laser guns, that are unnoticeable when fired, ultra armor, personal shields, all that stuff.

CLERK: No problem. Anything else?

FARNSWORTH: That about covers it, equip the ship parked at spot H12. Fry, deactivate the security system.

FRY: Alright.

[He deactivates the shield and in the hangar. Men bring out crates of things to the ship. Thousands of little technobugs go to work on the ship.]

FARNSWORTH: What now?

FRY: The girls could use some more comfort on the ship. I noticed that Leela is a little tired of showers.

FARNSWORTH: How about over there?

[The go into a store called ship, supplies, and beyond. Once inside they talk to a clerk.]

FRY: We need some renovations done to our ship.

CLERK: Ok, What do you need?

FARNSWORTH: Better beds for one.

FRY: Yeah, best you got, most comfortable, big, you know.

CLERK: Done, what else?

FRY: A larger bathroom in the captains room with a hot tub.

FARNSWORTH: For that matter upgrade all the bathrooms to be better, state of the art toilets, baths, hot and cold running water.

CLERK: Done. What else would you like?

FRY: Uh, make every chair really comfortable, and put in a state of the art kitchen in the ship.

FARNSWORTH: I also need for there to be a good intercom system with video link.

CLERK: Done. Anything else?

FRY: I am out.

FARNSWORTH: Me too.

FRY: Here this should cover it. Send the stuff to the ship in spot H12, the little robots will do the rest.

[He hands the woman a wad of gold cash. And the two men leave.]

FARNSWORTH: Well that was fun, what now?

FRY: All that food we got is crappy. We should get some ready to eat meals.

FARNSWORTH: Enough for a month.

FRY: I hope we aren’t out here that long.

FARNSWORTH: Best to plan ahead you know. Lets go there.

[They go to a store called Ship supplies made easy.]

FRY: We need enough high grade meals ready to eat for a year.

CLERK: That is the easy part, do you have a cryogenic cooler?

FARNSWORTH: No, do we need one?

CLERK: If you want it to last for a year.

FRY: Oh ok then, say do you have any coolers for people?

CLERK: Yes, just out of the Applied Cryogenics corporation, the people freezer 5000.

FARNSWORTH: Indeed very good. Do you have any stasis tubes?

CLERK: Yes we do. Would you like us to make a stasis room for you and your crew?

FRY: Sure, just put it in a useless broom closet.

CLERK: Done. Anything else?

FARNSWORTH: Not that I know of.

FRY: Do you have a robot reprogramming program?

CLERK: A very popular item these days, many think robots have too much free will, what with terminator ten coming out and all.

FRY: I’ll take it. Do you accept gold cash?

CLERK: Yes.

[FRY hands the man a large wad of gold cash and both him and Farnsworth leave and go to the ship to unload the stuff.]

FRY: Well the ship looks better.

FARNSWORTH: Indeed it is most formidable looking.

[The look at the ship. It has more guns and missies/Torpedoes than a dreadnaught.]

FRY: Let’s unpack and check out the inside.

FARNSWORTH: Good idea.

[They go inside, Fry sets up the computer in his old room next to the lifeless Bender. He then starts to reprogram. Farnsworth decides to work in his lab on some things. Some time later the rest of the crew come back and are astonished by what they see the ship has been turned into.]

LEELA: What the f**k happened to the ship!

FRY: Yeah, I thought the new weapons were a nice touch.

AMY: Hey, the floor and walls are so mice looking now, and the chairs are so soft and cooshy.

FRY: Yeah, the professor and I made some changes to the ship. What did you three get while we were busy making this ship bearable?

KIF: Um I got some personal things, people of my kind need them to, uh be healthy.

AMY: Yeah, I got some feminine products.

LEELA: I still have some, so I got a few things (seductively) for the bedroom.

FRY: Well, we have used all the front storage rooms, put it all in the main engine storage room.

LEELA: Alright.

FARNSWORTH: Hmm…I think we should all go now, they may have run our tag numbers by now.

FRY: Yeah, I will power up the engines, everyone strap in.

[They all strap into their new super soft chairs and the ship takes off. It is a flawless departure, to the shock of the crew.]

LEELA: Where is the life or death firefight?

AMY: I thought we were supposed to come under attack or something the moment we left.

FRY: Oh well all the better. Where should we go now?

FARNSWORTH: I say somewhere far away, or we stay in space and do nothing.

LEELA: We could go to Eden, it is not too far for us. The DOOP would need at least a year to get there.

AMY: And that is only if they know we are there.

FRY: Eden it is then. Now activating hyperdrive.

[A multicolored window opens in front of the ship and it goes through. Soon it comes out around Eden, and it lands in an open clearing in the valley of Paradise.]

AMY: Alright, nobody eat the oranges.

LEELA: I want at least one.

FARNSWORTH: Absolutely not! We have no more nano-pills. Once they are gone, that is it.

FRY: Ok then, well there is plenty of other things to eat here.

LEELA: The grapes are good.

[Kif and Amy look at each other and go to get some fruit.]

FARNSWORTH: I knew they would do that.

FRY: Sorry professor, I mean you have nobody to be your significant other.

FARNSWORTH: No matter, science is the only love I need.

LEELA: Lets go to the hot spring.

FRY: Ok, a nice relaxing swim will be really good right now.

FARNSWORTH: Even with all the improvements the ship is no substitute for this place.

[They all go to the hot spring, undress, and get in.]

FRY: Ahhhh, this is just what I need.

LEELA: Me too.

FARNSWORTH: Yes, this beats the lab any day.

AMY: Hey everyone we got some food.

[Kif and Amy, clearly wanting each other come to the hot spring and get in, they pass out various fruit excluding oranges and apples.]

FRY: Mmmm…nothing quite like this fruit.

FARNSWORTH: Did you ever get those seeds to grow?

LEELA: No, we never did get them to grow into Eden plants, no powers or anything. It is as if this place has some kind of magic in it, that can’t be found anywhere else.

AMY: Well this place is nice, but we need a plan if we ever want to get home.

FRY: Yeah, but if we could just get the word out about the truth behind the DOOP then it would collapse from the inside, like rotten fruit.

LEELA: I think you just answered your own question.

FRY: I did?

AMY: Of course! Remember when we made that presentation that aired about the truth behind mom, that sent all her business to us, and we lived happily until the DOOP froze all your assets.

FRY: Alright, Kif what is there about that shadow leadership and other stuff you have?

KIF: Um well, the shadow leadership is never really referred to, it is just that even the top generals follow the commands of someone, and it is not the president.

LEELA: Well, we will need more information there, what about the other things?

KIF: It is all rock solid there, I mean audio, video, official documents, memos, bank records, everything.

FRY: Alright, Kif and Leela you two work on the presentation. But we will have to hack the universal networks to broadcast our presentation.

AMY: A virus could get us the access codes.

FRY: Of course, a hydra capable of sniffing out digital footprints. But we will need a station on the backbone of the network. Also this thing has to be smart, very smart to cover up its trail and send us the info without giving us away.

AMY: I have a good AI engine we can teach to hack and gather what we need, but if we want to get this thing into the network, then we will have to use nothing less than the UBS headquarters.

FRY: What is that?

AMY: The Universal Broadcasting Station.

LEELA: Yeah, but we wont have much time before they jam our signal. We may get 15 minutes tops if we do this right, I mean distractions, and anti-jamming.

FARNSWORTH: Perhaps we can send everyone a lot of E-mails with the evidence.

FRY: That would be awesome, But that means that we will have to hack a whole lot more. I may need a better computer. And you will have to help me Amy.

AMY: Sure thing, lets go we have to get started.

[They all get out of the pool and go into the ship. Fry and Amy work busily in the computer room, while Kif and Leela work in another room to make the presentation. The professor was in the lab working on boosting computer speed, power, and finding a secure way to send and receive all the data.]

[It has been a few days of hard work and hot nights, when we find our team finishing up.]

FRY: How is that AI engine coming along?

AMY: I hid it in the one place nobody thought anyone would. It is in the only gateway 700s series still on the net. And I just got it.

FRY: Good, I will send you the evidence for the virus to send to everyone on the net once we give the word.

AMY: Alright, just have to program it a bit, and done. Now all we have to do is hack the station and drop the bug.

FRY: What about the video presentation?

AMY: Oh right, better call and see how they are doing.

[She uses the intercom to contact Leela.]

AMY: How is the presentation coming along?

LEELA: We just finished. The entire universe is going to want to see this.

KIF: Yes, it is most graphic and horrifying

AMY: So then it will keep peoples attention for 15 minutes?

LEELA: Well it is better than another reality series, being real and all…

AMY: Good, send it to the main computer, we will compile it all.

LEELA: Done.

[Amy begins to type really fast as she compiles the virus.]

AMY: Done, now all we have to do is drop it in a low security system and it will do the rest.

FRY: Are you sure it will be able to gain access?

AMY: Yes, I taught it everything I know. There isn’t a system made I can’t crack, eventually, but getting it in will be hard. We will need a distraction for their security systems.

FARNSWORTH: Good news everyone! I have created a new kind of net suit that will allow the user to link with the net better than anything before.

FRY: Perfect, everyone to the lab.

FARNSWORTH: These suits allow five times the upload and download speeds.

AMY: I will be on the outside, give me the signal to send in the virus.

FRY: Alright, Leela and I will have one hell of a distraction going. Professor, you go in to set up the virus.

[They all log onto the net, but something goes horribly wrong. FRY falls to the floor in pain. His voice sounding like a dial up, when Amy runs to take off his helmet she can see binary flashing in his eyes. His body then falls limp to the ground.]

AMY: NOOOOO!!!!!

FARNSWORTH: Get him to a stasis pod!

[In the net the same thing happens. The green glow around Fry disappears and he looks like he would as if he were in the real world.]

LEELA: Fry what’s wrong?

FRY: Oh nothing. Just had a rough start.

LEELA: Hey a message from the professor.

FARNSWORTH: Fry, are you there?

FRY: Yeah, here professor, where else would I be?

FARNSWORTH: Oh my, I did not count on this, oh well you will find out soon enough, just get going now. We only have one shot at this.

FRY: Can you upload my mind book into me now?

FARNSWORTH: Sure, you will need it.

[Fry quivers as the data is loaded into his mind, he then opens his eyes with a cold look in them.]

FRY: Wow, I never thought of reality like that. Well here goes. Take that Nappster!

[He bends virtual reality and un-exists nappster.]

LEELA: Wow! How did you do that?

FRY: Chapter one, Virtual reality control. Even easier than real, reality control. Check this out.

[He concentrates and a huge super gun appears in his hands. He then takes out several other parts of the net. Leela joins him.]

FRY: keep it going, just a little more.

LEELA: Here comes the net security, hit it!

[Farnsworth appears and attacks the network zone, once in he opens a box and the virus emerges. It runs and heads strait into the main system located elsewhere on the net. Farnsworth then flees and so does Leela and Fry. Fry is hit with a data shot.]

FRY: AHHHH!!! Pain!! Wait, this is not real, I can’t feel pain!

[Several shots come at them, but stop in place, Fry concentrating on them, he then gives an evil smirk and sends the shots right back at the security programs. They are all destroyed, and the two escape into the main computer on the ship. They all log out, but Fry is unable.]

[The net in this place is wrecked and going critical. At the main facility we see sparks coming out of computers and fires erupting as people flee for their lives. Fry is still in the system as it is beginning to crash and panicking.]

FRY: Hey! I can’t get out!

[Leela accesses a panel on the ship and communicates with Fry.]

LEELA: Just download into the ship! We can figure it out from there, HURRY!

[Fry does what he is told and is downloaded to safety just as the system crashes.]

[We see the massive satellite space station hub for that entire quadrent’s net needs explode in a hellish fireball as several small ships flee in all directions from the massive explosion.]

[On the outside, LEELA is told the news.]

FARNSWORTH: You see, I didn’t compensate for FRYs unique brain wave, apparently it is windows compatible and was downloaded into the net.

LEELA: What about his body?

FARNSWORTH: It is alive in the stasis pod, but the brain is dead. There is no reading on the EKG. I am sorry.

LEELA: But if this happened, then he is still in the computer!

[Just then FRY’s face appears on the screen of the computer.]

FRY: Hello! Is there something I should know here?

LEELA: Uh, FRY, you were downloaded into the net, you are trapped until we find a way to get you out.

FRY: You mean like the matrix! Cool! I am the one!

[Just then he disappears and Amy goes to the computer to see what has happened.]

AMY: I have no idea what he is doing, but he is filling the hard drive fast!

LEELA: I am going in, I think I know how to trick him into getting back to his body, hook it up to the blank robot drive. I will lure him with the one thing he can’t resist.

FARNSWORTH: Clean laundry?

[Amy slaps him across the face]

FARNSWORTH: Ow, what did I say?

[LEELA logs into the mainframe, to find FRY has created a virtual city, with people, crime, everything, but it was all 20th century things. She then finds him in the middle of a firefight against some men in suits. She joins him.]

FRY: What are you doing here?

LEELA: Saving you! Now stop this before you get yourself deleted.

FRY: Oh alright.

[The world disappears leaving only darkness.]

LEELA: How did you do that?

FRY: Chapter five, creating something with nothing.

LEELA (seductively): That is amazing, now come here you, this is not going to hurt a bit.

FRY: Um ok.

[He goes to kiss LEELA, when he is suddenly shocked and comes apart bit by bit.]

FRY: AHHHHHH!!!! PAIN!!!!

[He awakens in the lab in his body on the ground. He floats up to his feet and materializes a beer in his hand, much to the amazement of the others.]

AMY: How did you do that?

FRY: Chapter five, is LEELA out yet?

LEELA: Yeah I am here. Lets go I need a rest.

AMY: Me too.

FARNSWORTH: I need a nap.

[They all go to their rooms and sleep that night, for real, not with each other.]

[The next day, they all find Amy on the computer working.]

FRY: What are you doing?

AMY: The virus finished its work, now sending the activation codes…..done!

LEELA: Now we watch the DOOP burn from the inside.

FARNSWORTH: A most spectacular sight.

KIF: Lets watch it live.

[They all go to the bridge and look at a large bid screen with the new on it. Once the presentation plays out, the news comes on.]

LINDA: Riots break out in the streets as people rebel against the DOOP.

MORBO: Humans are winning, We will need a new alliance, so that Morbo can crush it!

[Everyone cheers at the apparent success of their plan. There is a lot of drunken partying that night, and lets just say things get hot between our two couples as well, REAL HOT.]

 

[THE END]

EPOLOGUE: This is not the end, one evil is always replaced by something worse. You know this kind of thing, just look at what happened in Stargate Sg-1. First there was Apophus, then Socar, then Apophus with Socar’s stuff, and now Anubus has destroyed all. It just gets worse and worse, so it will for the Planet Express Crew.

If you have an idea for the next fic, or just want to burn me on how much this story stinks, E-mail me at Getak2003@hotmail.com

Help me bring this story to an end, it just keeps going and going and going, ideas please, or I may really go insane!

Buddies