Fan Fiction

Leela and Fry's Journals
By Flounder

Part I – Excerpts From Leela’s Journal

Wednesday That new defrostee with the orange hair is getting on my nerves. When I tried to implant his career chip yesterday, he ran. But now he follows me everywhere. I’m used to being alone, not having anyone who wants to know me or spend time with me. I wish he would have stayed in the past.

Thursday Been examining the Professor’s spaceship. This is the finest small one I’ve ever seen. The orange-haired one was so happy to be picked as delivery boy. He just seems so wayward and imbecilic.

I wish he wouldn’t talk so much. He is always talking to me. I know, that sounds like a cheap insult. I’ve just never heard a voice that was sympathetic and deferential; I’m used to people being emotionally distant.

Friday He tells me to call him Fry. OK, I’ll meet him halfway. It doesn’t matter what his name is, so long as he just goes and talks to himself. My life used to be so pleasant and quiet.

Saturday At last, the weekend to myself. At least, that’s the way I planned it. But no, we had to come in for a half day to fix the ship. Fry discovered Slurm; now we are going to run short, most likely. We?? What is this “we”? We’re all just co-workers, that’s it.

Sunday Pulled through. This was supposed to be our day of rest. But the Professor got Fry to be a guinea pig for one of his crazy life-extension experiments. I tried to stop them, but just caught hell for my trouble.

Wednesday Fry has taken to begging me not to fly so fast. What harm does it do? 600 or 100 parsecs per hour – what difference does it make? Says it makes him nervous. Think I need a change of venue.

Friday Stopped hanging out at O’Zorgnax’s; went across town with Amy to try another bar – but it didn’t work; he learned to use a wristlojackamator and found me. Said he was concerned about my safety. Just because we were near Little Neptune! I can take care of myself.

Tuesday Got myself into trouble. We went on a mission to Vergon 6 to save its animals; the planet had been mined hollow by the DOOP, and imploded just after we left. Before we got there I had to deal with the worst animal I’ve ever met – Captain Zapp Brannigan.

(remaining journal page torn out)

Thursday Caught Fry drying his hair with the ship’s engines again. I’ve told him before - the engines are for moving the ship, not for giving him great lift. Now I’ll have to work half the day recalibrating everything! He just doesn’t think five minutes into the future. That impulsiveness is going to get him into trouble some day.

Monday Sure enough, when we went to Trisol to deliver a plaque he got himself into trouble by drinking the planet’s emperor. I tried to warn him of the danger he was in, but he didn’t listen at first. But when he thought I was killed, he wept for me and apologized for not taking my advice. Truth is, I was touched. I hope he’s learned his lesson. Maybe he’s not such a bad person after all.

A few weeks later Well, my impulsiveness got me into trouble. On our company vacation aboard the SS Titanic we ran into that rat Brannigan. I pretended Fry was my fiancé to fend off Brannigan’s clumsy amorous advances; Amy pretended he was her boyfriend in order to mollify her parents. At first I thought Fry and Amy were really dating. But Fry told me that he didn’t feel that way about her. I actually felt happy talking to him out on deck after dinner.

That idiot Brannigan apparently steered the ship into a black hole. We escaped by the skin of our teeth.

Professor Farnsworth is trying his crackpot experiments with Fry again. I know he’s one of the most eminent scientists in the universe…but this is going to turn out badly, I’m sure.

Two years later Fry saved Earth today. We were invaded by the Brainspawn, but they weren’t able to get to him because he lacks the delta brain wave. He wrote us out of the quandary and made the Big Brain leave Earth forever! How did he do that?

A year later Phil my dearest…I say those words only to myself; for some reason I can’t seem to say them out loud.

A few days ago I was chosen “Orphan of the Year” at Cookieville Minimum-Security Orphanarium, where I grew up. Mr. Vogel, the warden, was his usual cheerful self. I gave an inspiring speech.

But that’s not how I felt. Ever since those days at Cookieville I’ve always wanted to know my parents. That evening I sat sobbing in the Planet Express locker room, looking at the bracelet that was on my wrist when I was dropped off by my parents so many years ago. OK, not THAT many years ago.

Phil saw me and took me outside for a walk. We talked; he reminded me that I was part of the family at PE, and not to worry.

The next day we wound up in the sewer due to Bender’s conniving. I saw two hooded figures and just KNEW they were a clue to the secrets of my past. I chased them down to a threadbare room; one of them had a bracelet identical to mine. I was SO angry! I thought they killed my parents! But Phil arrived just in time to show me that they WERE my parents! We couldn’t stop crying – I held them tight for a long time. When I looked at Phil it was with a newfound sense of respect…and, stupid me for not realizing it at the time, a little bit of love.

A few months after He made a deal with the Robot Devil for the ability to write me an opera! I had to make my own deal with Beelzebot to restore my hearing, thanks to that no-good Bender…and Phil gave up his new hands to save me from spending the rest of my life in Robot Hell. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

Ten years later Oh, we’ve had some adventures together! The biggest one has been…love and marriage.

After all of this time I can see that at first I misjudged Phil. It is better to live with him now that our time at Planet Express has come to an end, than to still be in New New York without him. In the beginning I thought he talked too much. Now I would be sorry to have him fall silent and pass out of my life.

I’m glad for the tough times we spent together in our first years; they taught me to appreciate the kindness in his heart and sweetness of his spirit.

Part II – Fry’s Journal

Wednesday I’ve been unfrozen for almost a whole day now. My defrostee counselor is named Leela; she is a beauty, even though I was scared a little at first by her one big eye. We had an adventurous day today. I ran when she took out that big gun with the implant chip. I made a new friend – a robot named Bender; we wound up underground in Old New York; Leela decided to quit her job; now we work for my g-g-g-g-great-nephew, Professor Hubert Farnsworth, at the Planet Express Delivery Company. We had to escape from the New New York Police Department by flying away in Professor Farnsworth’s spaceship!

What a day it’s been!

Friday We went to the Moon today! The Moon Moon! It only took a few seconds to get there! I’m traveling in space! Whoo-hoo! I’ve dreamed about this since I was a baby, and now I’m getting to do it!

I think Leela is too hard-hearted; she can’t really see the beauty of the universe around her. I tried to show her how wonderful it is to travel off-planet, but she didn’t see it at all until we gazed at Earth from the old Apollo 11 moon landing site.

I’ll have to teach her what a wonderful time and place we find ourselves in. How fantastic it is to be able to fly us to the Moon, to play among the stars, to see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars. Where have I heard that before?

I keep trying to talk to her, but she just brushes me off. I even had to remind her that I have a name. Well, I’ll keep at it.

Tuesday The Professor wants me to take part in some sort of life-enhancement experiment. He wants to use my DNA (which is pretty close to his) to make him young again. What the heck – I’ll do it.

Saturday We had to come in to work today. I followed Leela around, trying to help her. She kept walking away and disregarding me. No worries - I’m used to that kind of treatment from women.

A few months later Leela and I seem to be getting along better now. Just last week when Earth was invaded by the Omicronians and my knowledge of ancient television saved us, she didn’t say anything bad to me. She seemed to tolerate me being around. It doesn’t bother me that she doesn’t talk except when she has to. I talk enough for both of us. She must just be shy.

When I bought her an Xmas present and we were almost killed by Santa, she held my hand! What a thrill! I’m going to continue not washing that hand!

Next year My first big disappointment. She found another cyclops named Alkazar, who treated her like dirt; but she put up with it for the sake of continuing her race. Oh, she looked so funny kowtowing to Alkazar, dressed in those tight pants and high heels and with her hair all frizzy. Bender and I exposed him for the fraud he was. She became very introspective on the way home from Cyclopia. I hope she’s learned a lesson.

A year later How could I be any more stupidious? I ate a truckstop men’s-room egg salad sandwich; it was full of worms – the good ones. They made me more intelligent and stronger. Leela and I spent an entire day together; I told her I loved her without spraying crumbs of Bachelor Chow all over her.

But I want her to love me, not what the worms made of me. So I risked my life to get them out of my body. Afterwards, I was my same old dumb self. But there’s always hope – I’m practicing with the holophonor now.

A few months after Those darn time skips! The Professor sent us on a mission to harvest chronotons – those particles that cause rips in the space-time continuum. Well, time started moving ahead randomly. Leela and I were married then divorced during the skips, but neither of us could figure out why. Then I found out – I used the gravity pump to move stars to form the words “I Love You, Leela.” But we had to cause an implosion that sucked up all the stars there! So for me it was either win Leela’s love or destroy the universe. Tough choice to make.

Some time later The biggest scare of my life. We went on a mission to gather space honey. Leela was stung by a space bee and went into a deep coma.

I never left her bedside. I kept talking and talking to her, just to keep her mind together and to get her to wake up. I was so sorry to see her in that bed, and thought about all the times I did bad things to her, how I’d ignored her advice and help – not only was I so afraid that she’d die, but I thought if she did, then for me all hope for love would die with her. A week or so later she did wake up. She told me about the dreams she had during her coma. Many years later she also told me that then, in her mind, I inspired a renaissance of romance in her even though she didn’t realize it at the time.

I think that was when I first really, truly fell in love with her.

Excerpt from Leela’s Journal

Perhaps I ought to remember that he has not lived here in the 31st century for very long, and make allowances. He is all curiosity, eagerness, happiness; this world of his future is all joy, wonder, the fulfillment of his dreams and greatest wishes. He exudes delight whenever we go on the most prosaic delivery mission; he sees aspects of this amazing new world that the rest of us take for granted. In the Stupid Ages his reach was limited to the boundaries of Earth; now the very edges of the Universe are within his grasp. I find extraordinary delight in seeing his wonderment. Now I enjoy looking at him, for I can see that he is quite a handsome creature. Once, on the balcony at Planet Express, he stood with his head tilted back and hand over his eyes, gazing at a spaceship in flight and smiling; I then realized that he is…beautiful.

If there is anything in the world that he is not interested in, we cannot find it. There are others of his era who are uncomfortable in this new world, but he takes to it like Nibbler to Kibbles ‘n Snouts. Everything is a treasure to him, every aspect of this place and time is welcome. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for him to live in the Stupid Ages, not fitting in anywhere.

Fry: At first I couldn’t figure out what good it did for me to be accidentally frozen and wake up after a thousand years. But now I think it gave me a second chance at life, made me appreciate what I had and all that was possible in the Universe. It doesn’t take a lot of brains to lead a good life – I’m living proof of that. I’m in a great hurry to learn all the secrets of this new millennium. But now that I’ve found deep and true love with her, we can spend the rest of our lives discovering them together.

After New New York

Leela: When I look back, Planet Express is a dream to me; a seminal time in the lives of all who worked there; adventurous, fulfilling, a learning experience; a sort of paradise the likes of which we shall never see again.

Professor Farnsworth’s last experiment, the one involving Phil (the one that made the evening news), wound up being the death of him. Seems that when he was trying to clone some of Phil’s vitality he didn’t set the feedback controls properly. Phil wound up with some of the Professor’s brains and skill, but the strain was too much for the old guy; he expired soon after. We spared no expense in sending him off, and proceeded to get rip-roaring drunk at his wake. We know he’d have wanted it that way.

Cubert wasted no time selling the business to Universal Parcel Service for a handsome sum. The Professor’s will stipulated that the money was to be divided evenly between him and Phil.

Both of us realized that we’d soon be out of a job. Who would hire a one-eyed, mutant small-spaceship captain and her delivery boy? The two of us saw this; we both felt so alone, particularly at the thought of parting ways forever.

That’s when he asked me to marry him. The rest, as they say, is history. And what a history it’s been!

We took the ship as part of our settlement. We bought about 20 hectares of black-dirt farmland in western Orange County in upstate New New York, and still had plenty of money left over to live a good life. We spend our days farming, or landscaping, or doing nothing, or reading, or traveling as we please. Our children are doing excellently in school; every summer we take them out to see the far reaches of space. I think the same spirit of curiosity that animates their father lives in them.

Amy and Kif got married and took to space; they travel all the time and send us video messages from wherever they go. Hermes is retired now, still prudently invested with no risks. Bender still lives at the Robot Arms and chases flooziebots morning, noon and night. Zoidberg still has his dumpster. We’re not sure where Scruffy wound up.

Phil even smuggled my parents out of New New York’s sewers. He understands that they too haven’t yet seen all that this world has to offer. Mom and Dad make it a point every day to hold hands and tentacles while they watch the sunrise and sunset together.

Planet Express is history, but I have found him, and am content. We share a deep, strong, and passionate love, as I would wish for everyone. When I think about why I love him I find I can’t exactly put it into words or coherent thought, and do not much care to do so. I suppose that this kind of love is not a product of reason or logic, like most else in our lives. No matter. We have created our own little world with each other, regardless of where we happen to find ourselves.

It is not for his talent that I love him. He was born with only a certain amount of it, and he strives to make the best of what he has. Mastery of the holophonor seems perpetually beyond his grasp. When he sings “Walking on Sunshine” for the tenth time in a day it makes the milk go sour, but I can get used to that kind of milk.

It is not because of his grace and considerate nature that I love him. He has deficits in both. But he makes up for that in other ways, and is improving.

It is not his work ethic that I love in him. He knows how to work hard, but often takes the opportunity to avoid it. It is our sole source of friction, but I put it out of my mind; it does not disturb my happiness with him, which is otherwise full to overflowing.

It is not his intelligence which endears him to me. He is more intelligent now and loves to learn new things, but the higher realms of education elude him. But unlike most men he is not afraid to admit it and then try again to learn; and he is fully aware of his limitations.

Why is it that I love him? Because he loves me and is completely devoted to me, I think. When all is said and done he has proven time and time again in deed as well as word that I am the woman who matters most to him, the only one he loves and wants.

He is strong and handsome, and I love him for that; I look up to him, but could love him without those qualities. If he was plain-looking or even a wreck I would love him, and work with him, and watch over him, and take care of him until I drew my last breath.

Eighty Years Later

Leela: My deepest hope is that, when our lives draw to a close we may pass together; just as much in love as we have ever been.

But if one of us must go first, I wish it to be me; for he is strong and I am weak; I am not as necessary to him as he is to me. Life without him would not be life. I could not endure it.

At Leela’s Grave

Fry: Wheresoever she was, there was Paradise.

The End.

(my sincerest apologies to Samuel Langhorne Clemens)