Showdown in Little Chateu
By Max Bellamy
Fry, Leela and Bender stop at a humongus building. They both look at how
impossibly tall it is.
Fry: Well, the oracle told me to come here.
Leela: No she didn't. All those Smiths came in.
Fry: Oh, right. Well, I had a gut feeling that I should come here.
Bender: We can go in at anytime.
The gang walk into the building. They step into the elevator. More people try
to walk in, but Bender stops them.
Bender: You got 500 dollars?
The business men check their pockets.
Bender: Didn't think so.
The door closes.
Leela: What do you see Fry?
Fry: The code is somehow different.
Bender: You mean it's all pink and fluffy?
Fry: No, I mean the whole floor is wired with explosives.
Leela: Why would this guy do that?
Bender: He must be french! Just like Napoleon!
Fry: You mean short,and annoying, and always had his hand in his pocket so
his wife won't take his wallet?
Bender: Shut up meatbag.
The door opens back up. They step into floor 101. They walk up to the waiter.
Waiter(In french accent): What do you want?
Fry: We've come to see the french guy.
Waiter: They're lots of french guys here.
Fry: I mean, the leader.
Waiter: Oh, you mean the Merrovingian.
Waiter: He's been expecting you. Follow me.
The Waiter opens the large door. The group walks in. Fry notices a man who
has a beard, and wearing glasses, and is a little chubby.
Fry: That look like Matt--
Waiter: We're here.
Fry looks and sees the Merrovingian.
Merrovingian: Well, it's Fry.
Fry: Well it's......you.
Merrovingian: And Bender.
Bender: That's me baby! Large and in Charge!
Merrovingian: And Leela(Spouts something in French)
Leela: Go(Glass shatters) yourself Merv.
Merrovingian(Will now be called Merv at this point): This is my wife
Fry looks at Persephone.
Fry: Yowza!(Looks at Leela) I'm mean, ew!
Merv: And these are the Triplets.
Leela looks over to the Triplets. They are MOM's sons.
Walter: Eh, don't be so shocked.
Fry: Do you know why we are here?
Merv: Yes. But you won't have him.
Merv: The Remote Master.
Merv: That is why you came here. The get the Remote Master and escape.
Fry: Sounds like a good reason to me.
Bender: Hand him over frenchie!
Merv: No. Instead, look at that woman over there. I'm sending her a dessert.
A VERY special dessert. I wrote it myself. It starts so simply-----
Bender: SHUT THE HELL UP!
Fry: No one wants to hear about you and your nasty roofie filled cakes! Give
us the Remote Master!
Merv: Never! You made me so mad that I have to pee! Go away!
The guards take Fry, Leela and Bender and shove them in the elevator.
Leela: Well, that didn't go so well.
Bender: So "Mr. Messiah", whats the plan now?
Fry raises his shoulders up and down. The elevator opens and Persephone is on
the other side.
Persephone: If you want the Remote Master, follow me.
Fry: Um, okay.
Persephone takes them to the men's restroom.
Fry: Um, you seem really nice, but I already have a girlfriend.
Persephone: I want you to kiss me.
Leela: WHAT!? HELL NO!
Fry: What she said.
Persephone: I just want a sample.
Leela: Ever got your ass kicked by a girl?
Fry: Ladies! Ladies! We could all solve this with a nice...simple...
Two seconds later.......
Fry has two slap marks on his cheek.
Fry: Ow. Well, are you going to take us to the Remote Master or not?
Persephone takes them to an underground chamber. Fry walks in and sees
thousands of remotes. He looks and sees the Remote Master making a remote.
Fry: My name is Fry.
Remote Master: What?
Fry: My name is---
Remote Master: What? I can't hear you!
Fry: FRY DAMMIT! TURN OFF THE REMOTE MAKER!
Remote Master: Oh, sorry. I've been waiting for you Fry.
The gang walk out into a Chateu. Merv pops thought he door with other men,
including the triplets.
Merv: What in ze' hell is going on.
Bender: We're jacking the Keymaker....I mean, the Remote Master from you!
Merv: We'll see about that. You three! Get the Remote Master.
Ignar: But you said we could watch T.V!
Merv: You want me to call you MOM?
Larry: Listen to him dummy!
Walter: Let's get em'!
The three go ghost and go after the Remote Master.
Remote Master: Aw, crap!
The Remote Master runs away.
Fry: I'll handle these losers.
Leela: Be careful.
Bender: Yeah, if not, I'm going to punch your dead corpse when I get back.
Then cry. Then steal your wallet.
Fry: (Sarcasticaly) Thanks.
Leela and Bender run away.
Merv: You'll handle us? You know Neo showed a lot more respect.
The remaining men pull out their machine guns and fire. Fry raises up his
hand and stops the bullets. The Men empty out their entire clips. Fry drops all
Merv: Okay, you have some skill.
Fry: Look, I've handle things in my belly button that are more intimidating
that you. Bring it.
Merv: Kill him.
The men charge at Fry. Fry does a spin kick and hits a couple. Fry jumps and
lands on the platform above him. The men follow suite. The men pick up weapons
of minor destruction(AKA swords), and try to hit Fry. Fry knocks them around
easily. Suddenly, a big man shows up behind Fry with huge ax and swings at
him. Fry blocks it, and kicks the dumbass out the window. Fry looks at his hand
amd sees a cut in it. Blood drips down on the floor.
Merv: You see he's just a man.
Fry: Never said I wasn't.
Fry keeps on fighting. The men have no effect against Fry. One by one, they
are thrown across the room, implaled by inanimate objects, and get set on
fire(One guy had a lighter on him). Three guys remain. The first jumps at Fry witha
spear. Fry grabs it and breaks it in two. Fry begins to club the guy to
death. Another guy rushes at Fry with a trident. Fry moves and the trident implaes
the guy Fry was clubbing. Another guy shows up with a huge, spikey hammer and
swings at Fry. Fry ducks and the guys hits the other with the trident, killing
him. Fry Grabs the big hammer, knocks the guy down on the ground and kills
Merv: Damn! Well, I better do what I always do. RUN!!!
Merv runs away.
Fry: Don't run! I'm no going to hurt you! I'm just going to bash your brains
in for making my life difficult!
Fry chases Merv all around the mansion. Fry sees Merv about to escape through
Fry: You can hide Merv, but you cant....um.....hide!
Merv: I will survive you!
Merv closes the door. Fry bust through and sees he's up in the mountains.
Fry: How did this happen?
Fry calls Link.
Fry: How the hell did I end up here?
Link: Not sure, but Leela and Bender are caught in a high speed chase.
Fry: GOD DAMMIT! The one time I'm not around! How far?
Link: 500 miles due south.
Fry hangs up and does his super cool flying trick and flies off. We see Merv
back at the building.
Merv: Glad I got rid of them.
Merv looks down and sees he is at the top of the building. And he is not
standing on the ledge.
Merv: Damn glitches!
Merv falls to his doom.