Fan Fiction

Futurama - The Musical, part 1
By FryGuy

(NOTE: this fanfiction is written with members of the Futurama Madhouse Forum, but most people on this site are members anyways, so I don't think we will have a problem. I do not own anything in this story, except for the word: "FryGuy". The other names are all owned by other people on the Forum [whom I got permission from], or Matt Groening. as for the songs, almost all of these songs are not by me, so I won't take the time to say who it is by... so lets just say that these have all been copyrighted...)

(the Title music for Futurama plays, except it is a lengthened orchestral piece)

Caption: actual size!


May 2004

Graham (sung): When I walk in the room

People they do bow

For I am the guy with computer know-how

I know what to do when you are staring at a screen (staring at a screen)

That says fatal error 642 you don't know what it means

(don't know what it means)

You bang the keyboard, throw the mouse, and scream like a banshee

(Ow, Ow, Ow)

Your tiny brain has failed (NO) so now you must call me

When I walk in the room

People they do bow (We bow)

For I am the guy with computer know-how

(computer know-how, computer know-how)

When I was Young the kids would cal me four-eyes and a geek

(four-eyes! geek)

Beat me up, steal my lunch, and give me bad wedgies (put it over his head)

But the prophecy's come true and the geek inherited the earth (No, No, No)

I charge you through the nose (Oh, my nose) and treat you like dirt

When he walks in the room (I walk)

People they do bow (bow down)

For he am the guy (the guy) with computer know-how

(computer know-how, computer know-how)

Bill Gates: Please help me get on the information highway

I seem to be stuck in my virtual driveway

Rupert Murdoch: No help me first, I am in great despair

They only program I have learned to use is solitaire

We need your help, we bow and scrape, to you we do submit

I shall help but first you must proclaim you're idiots

B.G & R.M: We're idiots

Graham: Louder!

B & R :We're idiots

Graham: Louder!

B & R: We're idiots

Graham: Yes you are!

Now who has money to spend? (the guy with computer know-how)

For whom is setting the time on kitchen appliances mere child's play?

(the guy with computer know-how)

Who can transfer data successfully

from his personal organizer to his desk top computer?

(technically that would be you)

Who are women no longer ashamed to be seen with?

(somethings never change)

I'm the guy, Yes, I'm the guy

Who possesses computer know-how

When he walks in the room

People they do bow

For he is the guy

with computer know-how

Graham (monologuing) : yes, They called me stupid they did! But I'll show them!! By creating the worlds best Forum Honouring the Worlds best Television show!


Teral (assertive) : *slaps Graham* Relax. you're scaring people (a crowd stares at them, decides there is noting left to see, then leaves)

Graham (collecting himself) : *ahem* yes, ok... but see, what shall we call this site? The Leela Zone doesn't feel right... It needs to feel more warm to those Fry and Bender fans out there...

Teral: *thinking* hmmm.... let's see... the Website is a madhouse... we like Futurama.... howabout.. Futurama Madhouse??

Graham (oblivious) : shut up Teral..... I KNOW!! Let's call it... Futurama Madhouse!

Teral (frustrated): b-but... I just said that!

Graham (stubborn): quiet you, who's the brains behind this operation?

Teral (matter-of-factly): Me, actually..

Graham (Interrupting) : oh, shut up.

Teral: *Sigh* let's just go to work and start building the Forum idjit

Graham: yes, sir

Chapter 1 - Toronto HAS to be good for something...

February 8, 2007:

Graham: well, what a delightful 3 years it has been... 'cept Teral cheesed it between year 1 and year... umm...1

Red_Line: uh-huh. Matt Groening Would be proud.

Graham: that he would. you know what? Let's give the Forum Members a treat. Red_Line my friend, pack your bags. We're Going to Ontario

Red_line: Cool! ... why?

Graham: to see a real cryogenics lab.

CHAPTER II Act I Scene I - farewell to Y2K

(scene: Central Park -Old, er, New York)

(a crowd of our favorite FMMBers Gather in front of a Podium, greeting each other for the first time, etc. all but BIG RED, KaBoOM, The Kef, Bounty Hunter, Leela47 and FryGUy are there)

Graham: Greetings to each and every one of you! it took many a year, but we finally were able to host the first ever Forum Field Trip In the World!

Everyone: YAAAAY!!!

Graham, Now, We are Going on a trip to Canada..

Everyone: Awww maaaaaaan

Graham: To see a Real Cryogenics Lab...

Everyone: YAAAAY!!!

Graham: It will be cold, so I hope you brought your Jackets

Michael: What's a jacket?

Brad: It's something people wear when it's cold

Michael: what's cold?

Brad: the opposite of hot

Michael: OOOOOOOOOooooohhhh!

Kath: *looking around* Hey! I don't see FryGuy or KaBoOM anywhere!

Michael: Meh, nobody cares, they're probably out pranking somebody or something anyway

Graham: Now, some of you may notice That FryGuy, BIG RED, KaBoOM, The Kef, BOUNTY HUNTER, and Leela47 aren't here

Everyone: awwww maaaaan!

Graham: that is because they are waiting to greet us in Canada

Everyone: YAAAAY!

Robert (Benderrocks1892): Stow it! Where's the Beer and Pizza?!

Ramon: There isn't any Beer!

Robert (as calm as possible) : Fanta and chips???!!

Ramon: Nope

Brad: we got chips! *Pulls out a bag of chips and eats it like Scruffy*

Robert (panicking) : COKE and PASTA!!!???

Brad: Yep and Yep!

FMMB Coke-Lovers: YAAAAY!!!!

FMMB Pepsi-Lovers: Awww maaaan!




KaBoOM: WHY did we have to host the party in toronto! We got 3 hours until *they* get here and all we got is friggin' chairs and a podium!!??

James (BIG RED) : hey, relax, FryGuy's almost done with the Balloons and Ariane's (Leela47) almost done hanging the streamers

KaBoOM: Why do we need streamers? it's not a Birthday party or anything!

James: well, actually. it IS kinda Icky's Birthday this week!

KaBoOM: *smacking forehead* Oh crap! I forgot to send her a birthday bomb, er, present!...

James: *blank stare*

KaBoOM (mistakingly out-loud) : *looking through his pockets* now where is that neuralyzer?

James (backing away) : what Bomb? I don't know no bomb? where am I? I don't know you people!

KaBoOM (stops searching) : That's better!

FryGuy: (coming out of another room *high voice*) Hey guys! I finished blowing up all 1000 baloons!

James: FryGuy, how many times do I have to tell you never to fill up balloons with helium in a small room?

FryGuy: *thinking* ummm... twenty two?

KaBoOM: I counted twenty FIVE!

James: the point is, this can't be good for your brain

FryGuy: (regular voice returning) well, I DO have a wicked head rush!

*camera pans to inside his head*

(we see a lot of brain cells in cars whizzing by REALLY fast)

*pan back to the real world*

Ariane (OS) : OKAY! The streamers are up!

KaBoOM: Good! now all we have to do is wait.




Graham: Right, now, before we go, are there any questions or concerns? everybody packed

All: YES!

Rye Guy: Question: What if we don't come back?

Graham: then we can only hope that Matt Groening was a prophet.


(One long bus ride later)


Graham: okay everyone: here we are! Canada!!


KaBoOM: My country's bigger than most,

And if asked I boast.

The Kef: Cause i'm really proud,

So I shout it loud.

BIG RED: Though our numbers are few,

We will welcome you.

Ariane: Although we don't have history,

Gold medal winning teams,

Heroes or prisoners, world famous volcanoes,

All: Still what we've got's glorious.

FryGuy: Cause we've got rocks and trees, and trees and rocks,

and rocks and trees, and trees and rocks,

and rocks and trees, and trees and rocks,

and rocks and trees, and trees and rocks,

and water.

(All right, everyone!)

Graham: We've got rocks and trees, and trees and rocks,

and rocks and trees, and trees and rocks,

and rocks and trees, and trees and rocks,

and rocks and trees, and trees and rocks,

and water. (X2)

Everyone: In Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada,

Ca-an-a-da, Can-a-da.

Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada,

Ca-an-a-da, Canada

Kath: FryGuy!!! KABOOM!!! YAAY!!!

(she runs up and hugs them both)

Kath: FryGuy, so this is what you look like in person huh? you're cuter than I expected

FryGuy: oh, stop!

Robert: Yo FryGuy! I brought "Eldest" With me

FryGuy: Sweeet!

Ariane: okay, Now, we can all greet each other later, it's time to start the meeting!


and as they all sat down, each and every one of them would from that moment on be inseperable. Fortunately for them, they would never see Y2K again. they would be spending more time together than originally planned

CHAPTER I Act I Scene I part II

After a long and boring speech, Finally it was time to go to The Cryogenics lab in Toronto - the largest in the world

Robert and FryGuy Are Listening to Music on their mp3 players, Shannon and Cherokee are playing Avatar on their Nintendo DS's, Michael is having an argument with will, and KaBoOM is listening to Weather reports on his iPod (don't ask)

Meteorologist (on iPod) : And there's clear skies all through Canada, down through the Prairies, and Over in The Greater Toronto Area, we have a lethal Ice storm building up, we recommend taking shelter in the nearest building

(though, KaBoOM didn't hear this, he'd taken the headphones off his ears to have a conversation with Bounty Hunter)

KaBoOM: (putting headphones back on) eh? I missed that last part... whatever, It probably wasn't very important anyway.

FryGuy (looking at his GPS) :okay, it's about another 10 kilometers to the building.

Ramon: can I get that in imperial?

Bounty Hunter: uhhh... I don't know how to calculate metric to imperial.

Ramon: darn you Canadians and your confusing metric ways!

FryGuy: forgive us, we're Canadian!


KaBoOM: We always say we're sorry!

Bounty Hunter: we LIKE to stand in line!

BIG RED: and when you ask us how we're doing, we aways say just fine!

all 3: Forgive us we're Canadian, we try hard to be nice

you too can be Canadian if you follow this advice

Ariane: we disagree on everything but we try to be polite

The Kef: and we don't believe in violence, except on hockey night

FryGuy: we adopted Europen ways, replacing yards with meters

but we still must ask the question, how many miles in a liter

all 3: Forgive us we're Canadian, we try hard to be nice

you too can be Canadian if you follow this advice

KaBoOM: We could talk for hours on end about the Constitution

BIG RED: Which is dry as toast but sure as heck beats war or revolution

Bounty Hunter: we don't much like to wave the flag we find patriotism shocking

so we celebrate on Canada day by going cross-border shopping

all 3: Forgive us we're Canadian, we try hard to be nice

you too can be Canadian if you follow this advice

FryGuy: We know how to dress for winter,

KaBoOM: we're not afraid of snow

The Kef: We love our country quietly,

Ariane: and hope Quebec wont go

All: Forgive us we're Canadian, and some might think it's planned

But there's nowhere that we'd rather live....

Than this vast and frozen land!

Ramon (mumbling) : showoffs!


(10 Kilometers later)


Tim (red_line): okay, everybody. Here we are, finally! the GTCL, or, Grand Toronto Cryogenics Lab. Follow me everyone, and stay OUT of the tubes!

Chrissy: aw man!

Graham: Let the tour begin!


Tour Guide: and on the left is Walt Disney's tube.

Mike (looking in) : wow!!!! A GREY THREE-PIECE SUIT!!!

Tour Guide: yes, the time period in which he was frozen, only Grey suits or clothing could be worn, as the ice could permanently stain clothing of any other colour.

Tour guide: and here's bono!

Mike: neat! (snaps a picture)


( a few hours later)


Graham: and as we bring this tour to a close, we say farewell to our dear friends, and eagerly await the next field trip!

Everybody cheers and hugs their friends

KaBoOM (turning his iPod back on) : *sigh* that was fun. now, to check on the weather reports, I don't want to have to shovel snow when I get home!

Meteorologist: ... I repeat! do NOT go outside if you live in Toronto! there is a fatal snowstorm and can freeze you to death! only those equipped to handle cold conditions can go for help!

(Graham is about to open the door)

KaBoOM: guys?

(they don't hear him)


(Graham pushes on the door-bar)


they hear him, but it is too late. Graham has already opened the door. Michael, Will, and Rob are the first to be Frozen, being totally incapable of surviving such extreme cold. e(XT)wist falls next. soon everybody is frozen except for Kath ( she was farthest away from the door), Brad, Mike (it's cold in England too *i think*), and the Canadian kids.

KaBoOM (holding back tears) : i tried to tell them, really, I did!

FryGuy: hey, hey. don't blame yourself! We were doomed from the start! Besides, they aren't dead, Brad checked. they're just frozen in an impermeable heap of ice

Ariane: what?

FryGuy: I said, they're frozen in a block of ice!

Ariane *thinking hard* : then there's no other choice. you know what this means, don't you?

The Kef: we freeze ourselves?

Ariane: yes.

Kath: w..we aren't ever going to see our families and friends again are we?

Mike: apparently not. man, Why does this always happen to me??

Brad: what?

Mike (sung): I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report

About some devastating earthquake in Peru

There were thirty thousand crushed to death Even more were buried alive

On the Richter scale it measured 8.2

And I said, "God, please answer me one question?"

"Why'd they have to interrupt The Simpsons just for this?"

What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything

And now I'll have to wait for the rerun to see the part of the show I missed

Why does this always happen?

Why does this always happen to me?

Why does this always happen?

(Why) Why does this always happen to me?

I was driving down the highway when all the traffic slowed to a crawl

There was a twelve car pile up, everybody dead

And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere

As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head

And I thought - Poor Rob, I just had lunch with him

Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money - what a jerk

Well, there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again

Plus now, on top of everything else, it looks like I'm gonna be late to work

Why does this always happen?

Why does this always happen to me?

Why does this always happen?

(Why) Why does this always happen to me?

Oh, the other day, my boss said we were running low on toner

And he told me I should buy another case

Well, I told him I was busy, but he still just kept on asking

So, I turned around and stabbed him in the face (right in the face)

Oh, and wouldn't you know it, my knife got stuck

I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then

But I'm afraid I may have bent the tip a little

And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again (quite as sharp again)

Oh, tell me

Why does this always happen?

Why does this always happen to me?

Why does this always happen?

Why does this always happen to me?

Why does this always happen to me?

(Why does this always happen to me?)

Why does this always happen to me?

(Why does this always happen to me?)

FryGuy: Well. I guess this means goodbye.

KaBoOM: for now.

(they all wave to each other, as they each climb into a cryo tube. Kath and KaBoOM being the last)

Kath: we better do something to make sure we wake up in one piece before we freeze ourselves. I mean, Even if WE awaken at the right time, what about the others in the ice blocks?

KaBoOM: they'll be fine., I think we'd just let time take it's course.

Kath: I guess you're right. well, let's not keep the others waiting.

KaBoOM: see you in a thousand years.

Kath: not unless I see you first.

(they share a laugh and climb into the remaining cryo tubes, before setting the timer to '1000 years'

(Background music: The Place Of The Blest )

In this world ( the Isle of Dreams) While we sit by sorrow's streams,

Tears and terrors are our theme's reciting:

But when once from hence we fly,

More and more approaching nigh

Unto young eternity uniting:

In that whiter island, where Things are evermore sincere,

Candor here, and lustre there Delighting:

There no monstrous fancies shall

Out of Hell and horror call,

To create (or cause at all) Afrighting.

There in calm and cooling sleep

We our eyes shall never steep;

But eternal watch shall keep attending.

Pleasures, such as shall pursue

Me immortalized and you;

And fresh joys, as never to Have ending.