Fry leaped out of the way as Bender's flaming burp reached across the room. "Watch it, Bender! If you're trying to break the world record then can you do it outside?"
"Nah, I'm through with records. I already hold this quadrant's record for most wallets stolen during a science fiction convention. I have to wait 'till next month to try again."
"Is that when the next convention is?"
"No, its when my suspension from the Si-Fi planet ends." He took a puff from his cigar and lit a new one with a piece of paper with the words "Deed to Comic Convention Building" written on it. "So what's with the Zoidberg face, meatbag?"
Fry scratched the back of his head and shrugged. "I dunno. Its just... well you know that guy Leela's always talking about? Sean?"
Bender crossed his legs. "No, why would I pay attention long enough to know that?"
"Well... he's back." Fry continued. "And I'm afraid that Leela might fall for him all over again, it seems as though he's not a jerk anymore."
"Eh, you never had a chance anyway." Bender took another puff.
"What makes you say that?"
Bender stood up. "Ooo! You want me to list reasons?"
"Too late! I'm doin' it!" He began listing several reasons as Hours pass by. "...and you're dumb and flabby and...."
"Uh, I think I get it, Bender. Er, thanks." Fry got up and started to walk toward to door.
Bender sat down. "No problemo, skintube! If you need me I'll be at the apartment. You probably shouldn't start needing me any time soon, though." He walks off, singing; "Stealin' lotsa stuff! Oh, I'm stealin' lotsa stuff! Stealin' Fry's stuff! I mean I'm stealing someone's stuff!"
Leela waslaying in bed at her appartment when the doorbell rang. Reluctantly, she got up and opened it, drowsily. Rubbing her eye she said, "Alright. Fine, I'm up. Now what the h-" She stopped rubbing and looked up at the tall, tanned man. "Sean? What are you doing here! Its over between you and me! I told you that a thousand times!"
Sean blinked and said in a low voice; "I know. I just wanted to apologize for being such a jerk when I was your boyfriend. I'm so sorry I hurt you, Leela. Is there any way I can make it up to you... coffee, perhaps?" He took a step forward.
Leela tried to be angry but failed. He's being so sweet... but I can't let him hurt me again! She was about to tell him off but something made her stop. Perhaps it was the look in his eyes or the tone of voice he used, but she just couldn't stay mad. What's wrong with me? What am I doing? "Alright!" She said at last. "We'll go get some coffee. But that doesn't mean that we're back together. Got that?"
Sean smiled (a bit suspiciously). "Yes, of course. I'll see you at four, then?"
Leela squinted at him, trying to find some sort of fault with his steady attitude but could not find anything wrong with him. But, there's something. I just know it!
Fry returned to his and Bender's apartment to find thathis roomie had stolen more then half his stuff. Bender turned around, wearing a silver watch with a tag that says: "Property of Philip J Fry" Bender turned fully around and started waving his arms franticly. "W-wha!? It's mine I tells ya! If it's in MY apartment then it must be MINE! Who's else could it be?"
Fry walked toward him. "Good point. Well, take away... I guess. So... um, did the phone ring while I was gone?"
"Yeah, I think Leela called about ten minutes ago."
"REALY!?" Fry rushed over to the phone.
"Nah, just trying to make ya feel better for two seconds then feel much, much worse." He pulled out a cigar from his chest cavity and lit it with a dollar bill from Fry's wallet. "It's how I roll."
"Well, If she DOES call then tell me, okay?"
"No can do, meatbag! I'm completely un-reliable! Just ask her out. What's the worst that could happen? She says no? So what! She's said no like a million times! Ahahaha! You pathetic humans make me laugh! Aaaaahahahahaha!" He walked out of the room holding his sides, laughing.
"Hrm... maybe I will. Its a simple question. I don't know why people always freak out about things like this... heheh. Just a simple question. Bender's right. What's the worst that could happen?"
Leela paced back and forth. "Oh, God! What have I done! Sean's gonna start being a jerk the minute he picks me up! And what if Fry drops by? What do I tell him? Oh, God!" She collapsed on her bed but almost at the same moment the doorbell rang. She opened the door to find Fry's face staring back at her. "Oh, pooh."
"Hi, Leela. Um... I was just wondering... you know, if you aren't busy or something... then maybe we could go out for something to eat?" He was shaking, nervously. Leela couldn't bring herself to mention Sean even if there was nothing between them.
"... Sure. Why not?" She bit her lip.
Fry took no notice what-so-ever. "Great! I'll see you at five then?"
"Great!!" He leaped off, dancing happily.
Leela let out a gasp of air. "Phew! Oh no! I forgot that Sean is picking me up at four! Well that's an hour away from my date with Fry. How long could coffee take?"
THE NEXT DAY.
"Well, it was nice getting to know you again, Leela," Sean was saying. "I'll see you around." He gave her a friendly hug and dropped her off at her apartment.
She checked her watch: 4:59pm. "Perfect! Now I just have to wait for Fry." She opened her apartment door and stepped inside to find Bender searching through her stuff. "Bender! What are you doing!?"
He jumped at her voice. "Uh, just cleaning your apartment for you" He began dusting off piles of stuff on the floor.
"Oh, yeah? Well how'd you get in?"
"Your door was un-locked. How else. Oh, by the way, your, uh, bedroom window sorta fell apart when I was "dusting" it."
Leela sighed. "Whatever. Fry will be here any minute now."
"What? Fry was here an hour ago! Its 6:03pm!" He started to "dust" more objects.
"B-But my watch says 5:03! Sean even fixed it for me.... Dammit! I Knew that I shouldn't have trusted him! Where did Fry go?"
"I dunno? He said something about, I give up. Then something like "Why do I bother" and "I may as well die" or somethin' like that."
Leela stood rigid. "What!? We have to find him!"