Fan Fiction

Jinx Full Throttle
By Fryfan

(This fanfic is dedicated to the fans out there who like Jinx so much. I wasn't expecting her to be the stand out character, but since you wanted her, I'm giving you what you want. I'm not like FOX.)

I don't own futurama or any of its characters. (Though their spy counterparts were my creations.)

Spy-O-Rama Main Title (Kind of James Bondish, but with an influence of Danny Elfman.)

Mission Title: Jinx Full Throttle

Spy Tip #11: Female spies, your bra contains a mini-laser and pepper spray.

(This story takes place right after, "Mom With A Vengeance".)


(Opening scene. We see Jinx skiing down a snowy hill. She has a red ski suit along with a red helmet with yellow visor. We hear the opening theme from Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle. As she skis down a bunch of enemy ninjas ski down as well and try to shoot her. In a slow motion shot, she manages to spin around and fire her laser right at the ninjas and takes them out. Then she spins around and continues skiing in regular motion. Then a helicopter flies down and it is about 20 ft. off the ground, both doors on each side are open. One of the ninjas takes out a huge laser and aims it at Jinx. In slow motion mode she goes up a small ramp and flies right at the helicopter. She blasts the ninja's laser and proceeds to fly right through the helicopter, dropping a bomb inside the copter and she makes it to safety as the copter blows up. She continues her skiing when...)

Ironfinger: Jinx! (Jinx is shocked to see Ironfinger appear out of nowhere and she crashes.

(Cut to a room and it turns out Jinx was doing Virtual Skiing.)

Jinx: (Taking off the V. R. goggles.) Next time, I think I'll try Virtual, Virtual Skiing.

Ironfinger: (With a beer bottle.) Jinx, enough with your training, I asked you to get my beer and I had to make Scruffy get it for me.

Scruffy: Scruffy's cousin Scruffy.

Jinx: How come you look like the last two Scruffys?

Scruffy: It is from my parents. (Shows picture of his mom and dad. Dad look exactly like him, with clothes and all. His mom has a yellow, poke-a-dotted dress and Scruffy's mustache.)

Jinx: Okay.

Ironfinger: Jinx, I need you to come into my office and prepare to listen to my next plan and childhood memory.

Jinx: listen, Ironfinger, I've wanted to ask you this for some time.

Ironfinger: What is it? My stories aren't getting anymore interesting.

Jinx: I want a vacation.

Ironfinger: What?! Why should I give you a vacation? You haven't helped me in succeeding in taking over the world.

Jinx: well, Ironfinger it is in my Femme Fatale's contract, (Shows him a contract.) I signed when you first hired me. It says, I get a two weeks paid vacation.

Ironfinger: What?! Curse the Femme Fatale's Union Guild.

Jinx: I went through a lot of trouble in joining that Guild. For one thing, I couldn't use my real name since there was another Amy Wong on that list. Can you believe it? It took me months to find and eliminate that other Amy Wong, so I could use my real name. Anyway, you must respect the FFUG's policies.

Ironfinger: Alright, you can have your vacation time. I guess you've earned it, I mean you've been my loyal henchwoman, since I first hired you. I'll never forget how we first met, I must've seen hundreds of auditions for that position

(Flashback. And there is a stage and Petunia is on stage and she's in a spy suit.)

Petunia: (Holds a newspaper ad.) Yeah, hello, I'm here about the femme fatale position for a Mr. Ironfinger. (Reads) "Evil Deformed Robot, seeking femme fatale to be henchwoman and help take over the world. Must be sexy, and deadly."

Voice: Well you meet half the qualifications.

(Pan to see in the audience. Ironfinger, Scruffy, Zoidberg in his old henchman suit since this happened before "Fry Another Day" and the head of American Idol judge, Simon Cowell. He was the voice.)

Simon's Head: First, off you are not sexy and the only thing deadly about you is your face.

Petunia: Drop Dead. (Leaves.)

Simon: I wish, I could, it would only prove I'm right.

Ironfinger: Thanks Simon, I knew having you help judge the auditions was the best idea. You are so cold and honest, just like me.

Simon: Thank you, Ironfinger and I must say Zoidberg that derby just makes me want to vomit.

Zoidberg: My mother gave me this hat. (Starts crying.)

Ironfinger: Next, applicant.

(Next Applicant is an Amazonian in a spy uniform that has tropical leaves on it.)

Amazonian: Me, big and strong. Me want job.

Ironfinger: I like her attitude and she looks like she can kick ass.

Scruffy: Scruffy's has a good feeling about her, too.

Simon: Well, she has the strength and power, but her English skills need work and I don't think her size would benefit you in a quick escape.

Ironfinger: You may be right. [to applicant] Next!

Amazonian: Me, want to kill man in jar.

Simon: You and a bunch of other women, not to mention France.

(She walks away.)

Ironfinger: Damn, how am I going to be a big master villain, without an assistant who's sexy and deadly and be willing to listen to my sad stories.

Simon: Don't worry, Ironfinger, I'm sure we'll find the next Femme Fatale.

Ironfinger: Yeah well our next applicant is a...(reading the form.) ...Jinx?

(And we see Jinx, looks a bit the same.)

Ironfinger: Why did you put your name as, Jinx? What's your real name?

Jinx: My real name is Amy Wong, but I like being called by my nickname, Jinx. I'm a graduate of Mars U. and I specialize in many marital arts.

Ironfinger: Well she looks sexy enough, let's see a practice, Zoidberg get up there.

Zoidberg: Yes, master.

(Zoidberg gets on the stage and Jinx sidekicks him and knock him down and kicks him in the ribs, knocking him down.)

Zoidberg: Please, stop, why with the kicking?

Scruffy: Scruffy likes her style.

Ironfinger: Yes, she is tough, Simon.

Simon's Head: Well, I must say I like the beating she is giving on the lobster, but I find her nickname, Jinx to be utterly preposterous.

(Jinx comes out of nowhere and kicks Simon's jar and smashing the glass and knocks the head out.)

Ironfinger: I like her attitude, you're hired.

(Everybody cheers and we get a head shot of Jinx. End Flashback.)

Ironfinger: It was a great day, too bad Simon was in a coma for months.

Jinx: Well, Ironfinger, thank you for the time off.

Ironfinger: Okay, but I want you back here to work in two weeks, alright.

(Jinx exits.)

Ironfinger: Now, I'll have to share my childhood stories with someone else. How about you, Scruffy?

Scruffy: Scruffy's gonna get himself a noose.

(Next Scene. Fry is entering PE HQ. He's wearing a trench coat. The theme song to Get Smart is playing because he's entering rooms just like Maxwell Smart. He enters the phone booth and places some change in and pushes a few buttons.)

Phone Operator: The amount of change is incorrect, the fee is 75 Cents

Fry: Damn, they raised the fee up again. (Places more change in the phone booth and then the trap door opens and he falls. Cut to inside of PE HQ and Fry hits the floor hard. He gets up and heads into Hermes's office.)

Fry: Hey, Agent C.

(Throws the trench to a coat hanger. The coat hanger moves, it is a robot and it tries to catch the coat but crashes into a wall.)

Coat Hanger: Damn it. (Walks back to the place where he was and rubs his head while placing the coat on one of its hooks.)

Hermes: Now, 014 as soon as 1BDI arrives we can begin.

(Leela enters.)

Leela: Sorry, I'm late, but I had to feed Nibbler.

Hermes: Now then, we have another mission for you both.

Fry: Just as long as it isn't going undercover as a follower of the movie, Gigli.

Hermes: We have reason to believe that Jinx was sighted at Miami, Florida. It is possible that Ironfinger is plotting another evil plan.

Fry: Florida, all right, I can work on my tan.

Leela: Fry, you don't have one.

Fry: I know, that is why I want to work on one.

Hermes: Go see the Professor, so he can give you both your spy stuff.

Fry: Thanks, Agent C.

(Cut to the Professor's lab. Zoidberg is looking around and finds a jet pack much like the one James Bond uses.)

Zoidberg: Professor, what is this do?

Professor: Be careful with that you idiot!

(Zoidberg starts the jet pack and hits the ceiling flying upward. Professor just looks up the hole until Fry and Leela show up.)

Professor: Ah 014 and 1BDI, I have good news for you.

Leela: What is it, Professor?

Professor: You both get to try my newest inventions. (Opens a ring case and we see two rings.)

Fry: Wow, are we getting married?

Professor: No, of course not. They are special rings watch. (Shows them a plate glass window. Places one ring on his finger and twists it. A high pitch noise is made and the Professor places the glass on the window and it breaks.)

Professor: This ring can break any piece of glass for a quick getaway or if you just want to remove a window very quickly.

Fry: That is so cool. This one time I found a pair of rings from a big of Cracker Jacks and all they did was make annoying noises or help to decode messages.

(Zoidberg comes crashing down.)

Zoidberg: What a trip, I was flying really high up, I did. Then it got really cold and I couldn't breathe, I couldn't.

Professor: Now, here is the next invention. (Shows them a hover car. It looks at a BMW.) This is the Halle BXW. It has the basic spy stuff. Front hood rocket launchers, oil slick, battering ram, mini torpedoes. Yes, everything a basic spy car needs

Fry: Does it have a CD changer?

Professor: In the trunk.

(Cut to Fry and Leela in the BXW. Leela's driving and Fry is listening and singing to the music.)

Fry: (singing) I'm walking on sunshine. Woh Woh Woh. (Hums the tune.)

Leela: Fry, enough of that singing. (Turns music off.) Now we have to be careful, something tells me Ironfinger might be planning something really big this time.

(Cut to Jinx at the beach. She is on a beach blanket and has a red bathing suit and is getting a tan. We see Zapp and Kif walk up.)

Zapp: Aw, Kif thanks for buttering my back, your hands have that soft gentleness that my back likes.

(Kif sighs)

Zapp: Who is this?

Kif: It is that woman we met on the internet.

Jinx: Gleesh, it is Zapp Brannigan.

Zapp: Ah yes Ms. Jinx, I remember you from when you came into the Hip Joint and warned me about the enemy spies.

Jinx: Actually, that was just one of my digital clones.

Zapp: Aw yes, well either way I must thank you for that for I would've never met the lovely 1BDI if it weren't for you. Not that you aren't a looker yourself.

Jinx: Yeah, well whatever.

(Cut to them being viewed by someone with a pair of binoculars. And two people are talking, a woman and a man, but neither are Fry and Leela. We only hear their voices while watching through the binoculars.)

Man: Is that her?

Woman: Yes, that is her, our target. She'll be dead in no time.

(Next Scene. The pool area of a hotel. Zapp is at a table, when Fry and Leela arrive and they are dressed for the pool. Leela is wearing a pink bathing suit and Fry has his beach clothes.)

Fry: So, Leela, while we are here do you want to go to the Beach Party Tonight.

Leela: Fry, we have a job to do...oh no.

Zapp: Well, if it isn't the lovely 1BDI, and her red-haired friend.

Fry: The name is Fry, Philip J. Fry.

Zapp: Yes, Yes, well 1BDI care to spend some time with the Zapper.

Leela: Thanks, Zapp, but I'd rather be tortured to death.

Zapp: Then baby meet me in my room later.

Leela: (to Fry) Fry, distract Zapp and I'll try to find Jinx.

Fry: gotcha.

(Leela leaves and Fry is left with Zapp.)

Zapp: Aw. Mr. Fry, how about you and me engage in a game of wits for money.

Fry: Smashing, I'd be delighted.

Zapp: Mr. Fry, the name of the game is Tic-Tac-Toe.

(Cut to Leela in her spy suit. She's searching in the hotel rooms and then enters a room where she sees Michelle with a telescope looking out from the balcony and with a radio.)

Michelle: (on radio.) Alright, write an X on the middle right hand side.

(We realize that she is helping Zapp win at Tic-Tac-Toe. On the lower right-hand side he has two X's, Fry has two O's on the top. Whom ever gets the right hand corner first wins, but Fry has already made his turn writing the second O.)

Fry: Zapp, I must say you are good. You've beaten me three games in a row and now with this game being double or nothing, I'm afraid I'm licked.

Zapp: Yes, with it being my turn it looks like I'm about to win again. (Zapp has a mini radio in his hear and is toning it to hear what Michelle has to tell me to win.)

(Cut to Leela stepping in and stopping Michelle from giving Zapp the winning move.)

Michelle: What are you doing?

Leela: (pointing her laser at her.) I'm fixing something. (She was able to hear the conversation perfectly over the radio and uses the radio to talk to Zapp.)

Leela: Zapp, write an X on the lower left-hand corner.

(Zapp does so, leaving Fry to write an O on the upper right-hand corner, thus winning the game.)

Fry: Yes, tic-tac-toe, I win. Well Zapp, I guess you slipped at the finish line.

Zapp: Blast, how could I lose?

Leela: (on radio.) Hello, Zapp this is Agent 1BDI, I guess turn-a-bout is fair play.

Zapp: Agent 1BDI!

Fry: No Zapp, I'm Fry and you owe me a martini half shaken and half stirred.

(Cut back to Leela and Michelle.)

Leela: Why are you helping Zapp win at tic-tac-toe?

Michelle: Because, he doesn't like to lose and won't risk losing even at a simple game like this.

Leela: So he's a bigger moron than I thought.

Michelle: Exactly.

Leela: Listen, I'm looking for Jinx, have you seen her?

Michelle: Her room is down the hall.

Leela: Thank you.

(Cut to Jinx's front door. Leela is about to enter with laser-gun and all, when all of a sudden she hears noises, coming from inside the room as if a fight has broken out. Leela busts the door down and sees Jinx fight with a group of Red Ninjas.)

Leela: Everyone, freeze. (However, one of the ninjas knocks her laser out of her hand and she has to fight.)

Jinx: Agent 1BDI, what are you doing here?

Leela: I'm here to arrest you.

Jinx: Well, I'm a little busy right now. Would you give me a hand?

(Then Fry enters in his spy suit.)

Fry: Hey Leela, I came up to this floor and I heard the sound of women fighting, what is going on?

(Just then a ninja kicks him, knocking him out and then two ninjas carry him away. Leela sees this and tries to help only to have a few ninjas block her path. Jinx and Leela fight there way to help Fry. Cut to the roof, the ninjas carry Fry into a red ship and ship takes off. Leela and Jinx make it on the roof and they've managed to knock out the remaining ninjas.)

Leela: Fry! (She tackles Jinx.) Tell me what's Ironfinger's plan?

Jinx: What plan? Ironfinger is not in on this.

Leela: So, you've decided to go solo like many other sidekicks decide to do.

Jinx: No, I'm just here on vacation, when these ninjas came into my room and tried to kill me.

Leela: You are on vacation?

Jinx: Spluh!

Leela: Well then, who are these ninjas?

Jinx: I don't know, but their red suits mean they came from my home planet, Mars. I believe that is where they are taking 014.

Leela: Why?

Jinx: I don't know.

Leela: Well, I'll have to save him, but first I'll call DOOP to take you in for your past crimes.

Jinx: I don't think so. Mars and Earth relations have not been good recently, you can't just enter Mars and start searching. You'll need someone who knows her way around.

Leela: Why would you help me?

Jinx: Because, I want to find out who just tried to kill me and I like 014.

Leela: (angrily) What do you mean?

Jinx: Ever since that night at Tijuana, he was the only person I really felt for after sleeping with him.

Leela: But you tried to kill him after that night.

Jinx: I know, because I was following orders. Part of being a femme fatale is obeying your boss.

(Just then a ninja wakes up and is about to throw a star at Jinx, when from out of nowhere a knife stabs him, killing him. We only see a shadowy figure from the stairway door. Leela and Jinx hear the stabbing and Leela lets up Jinx. Jinx turns around and only sees the ninja as the shadowy figure races down the stairs.)

Jinx: Someone else was up here, and that person just saved us. (Turns to Leela.) As I was saying 1BDI, like it or not we'll have to team up to save 014.

Leela: Team up. (Groans.) Alright. (They shake hands each with a bitter smile.) Remember, this is a temporary truce until we've rescued, Fry.

Jinx: I know that, I'll be looking forward to killing you after we've rescued, Fry.

Leela: Same here. (They stare at each other in a mean way.)

(Next Scene. Fry is in a dark room and a white light beams down on him. He finally wakes up.)

Fry: Where am I? And why am I strapped to this chair? Did I miss something fun?

Voice: Silence.

Fry: Who said that?

(We see two people, but we can't make out who since it is dark and we can only tell that one is a male and the other is a female.)

Male: We captured you so you can answer our questions.

Fry: Questions about what?

Male: We want you to tell us everything you know about Jinx.

(Next Scene. Leela and Jinx are in the Halle BXW and they are leaving Earth.)

Jinx: This car is red, I like the color.

Leela: Thanks.

Jinx: So, are you and 014 dating?

Leela: What business is that of yours?

Jinx: You seemed mad, when I told you I liked 014.

Leela: I was mad because of the idea of a DOOP spy and enemy spy having a relationship.

Jinx: Yeah whatever. Speaking of which was that the case with you and Zapp?

Leela: What1?

Jinx: Zapp told me everything, I must say you don't have high standards.

Leela: Listen, part of being a spy is having to go beyond the call of duty. No matter how horrible and vile it might seem.

Jinx: How did Fry take it?

Leela: He was mad, but he forgave me, I guess it was his way of telling me I shouldn't be mad when he sleeps with someone.

Jinx: Yeah, that seems fair.

(Takes out two things that she took from one the ninjas. One was a pamphlet advertising a Martian hover motocross race scheduled in a few days and other thing was one of the ninja stars.)

Jinx: Oh my God. This looks like the ones I used to use.

Leela: What do you mean?

Jinx: I was part of a group of spies on Mars, The Red Lords.

Leela: The Red Lords? I've never heard of them.

Jinx: That's because we were a private group.

Leela: Can I axe you something? If you are from Mars, what made you come to Earth?

Jinx: That story goes back to my days at Mars U.


Jinx: (VO) After winning in the swim driving events on Mars, I sought a new competition. That's where I found a class, Femme Fatale 101.

(Cut to Jinx in a gym with attending a class. The instructor resembles a little bit like Halle Berry.)

Jinx: (VO) I had passed the requirements, martial arts, driving fancy vehicles and having to take orders from less than handsome men. The last thing was the rope climb.

(Jinx climbs up the rope and makes it, but only to have the rope break and fall and she lands on the instructor. The instructor pushes Jinx off of her.)

Instructor: Ms. Wong, everything we've done in this class, you have managed to pass, but also have some misfortune happen.

(Classmates agree.)

Student: Face it Amy, you are a Jinx.

Instructor: That is enough, Ms. Jones. It is your turn.

Jinx: (VO) Melaena Jones, I guess you can say she gave me my nickname. I took the name is a way of telling her I wasn't going to let her get to me. She had been my rival in that class. We were the top two students.

(Melaena makes it to the top of another rope climb and everyone except Jinx cheers. Melaena climbs down.)

Instructor: Excellent, Ms. Jones. You are quite the good luck charm of this class.

(Cut them graduating.)

Jinx: (VO) On graduation day, we all got our diplomas and I got a degree in being a Femme Fatale, and so did Melaena. She, however, got honors and shoved it in me face. I on the other hand got an offer from a Biff Broker.

(Jinx meets an alien much like Kif, only more muscular and a bit taller and wearing the same type of red spy suit, Jinx wears today.)

Jinx: (VO) He said he saw my style and liked it, he wanted me to join his elite group of spies, The Red Lords.

(Cut to her in her red spy suit and is standing in line at group of other sorts of aliens and humans in the same red suits. Biff walks by and flirts with Jinx.)

Jinx: (VO) To tell you the truth, I think he had a crush on me.

(End Flash back.)

Leela: So, why did you leave the Red Lords?

Jinx: After a while I got tired and wanted to try something new. I wanted to go to Earth, it seemed like the next step. I read an ad about a new villain seeking a femme fatale on Earth, so I left just like that.

Leela: You didn't tell anyone?

Jinx: Well, I told my parents, they think it was a job interview for an internship, as if.

Leela: Hey, we've made it. (And they see Mars and they land right by the place where they'll have the motocross event.) Well the event is in a few days, we'll need disguises.

Jinx: Don't worry about the hover cycles, I'll take care of that. (Takes out cell phone.) Hello, Mom and Dad, I've come to visit.

(Cut to Leela and Jinx each wearing a motocross racing clothes. It has been a few days. Leela's are white trimmed with blue, while Jinx's white trimmed with red. Jinx has two hover cycles.)

Leela: How did you convince your parents into giving you these two hover cycles?

Jinx: Are you kidding? My parents practically own the Western Hemisphere of this planet and they sponsor this event every year.

Leela: Well, it was nice of them to let us stay with them for the past few days, though I don't think your mother likes me.

Jinx: Well, to tell you the truth, she thinks by me hanging out with you that prevents me from finding a son-in-law for them.

(Cut to them on the track area. We see many racers tuning up their cycles and preparing to race. We see Jinx with her helmet off, tuning her vehicle. We then see two shadowy figures, one is a robot on a racer suit, red suit trimmed with black the shadowy figure is a male's voice.)

Male voice: You know what to do?

Robot: Right boss, enter the race and kill the Chinese girl.

Voice: Correct, don't fail me.

(Cut to Jinx going to the pit crew and getting a tool as she walks back she passes by a racer where a all black suit and black helmet and has a black hover cycle. Whoever it is has an interest in Jinx as well. As Jinx makes it back to her vehicle she meets an old friend.)

Melaena: Amy! Or should I say Jinx. Is that really you? (She has a blue and red racing suit.)

Jinx: Melaena, nice to meet you.

Melaena: What brings you to Mars, Jinx? I heard you went to earth to work for some villain who's planning to rule it, how's that going for you?

Jinx: It is going great, Melaena.

Melaena: Don't call me that, I like being called by my new nickname, Charm.

Jinx: Charm?

Charm: Yes, that lets people know just how lucky I was to graduate with honors, just beating you. Do you think you can win this race?

Jinx: I'm going to try, Charm.

(Cut to the racers getting ready for the race. We can see Charm, Jinx, Leela, and the hired robot.)

Announcer: Racers, on your mark, get set...go!

(The race is on, we see Charm is in the lead along with Jinx coming in second. Leela gets a slow start but notices the robot taking out many racers in an attempt to get to Jinx.)

Leela: That robot's trying to kill, Jinx.

(She drives up to him and tries to stop him. The robot notices her and once they make it to a bunch of hills he pulls out a pair of lasers. As he makes it up a hill and leaps into the air, a slow motion sequence is made and he turns around and fires at Leela, she manages to dodge them, as the motion returns to normal, the robot turns back to driving the cycle as he lands at the bottom of the hill. The situation happens again and when the robot fires back at Leela, a laser beam hits her cycle and it explodes and Leela has to flip over and lands in the back seat on another racer's cycle.)

Racer: Hey baby, what are doing right behind me?

(Leela knocks him off the cycle and takes control and speeds up to stop the robot. We cut to see the racer in black, warming up his cycle and sees the racers. Cut to the robot and pulls out a much larger laser gun as he gets close the Jinx. Jinx by this time has managed to pass Charm and the three of them reach a huge hill. They each drive up the hill in a slow motion and they fly through the air. The robot manages to get right beside Jinx. He's about to point the gun right at Jinx when suddenly the black racer comes out of nowhere, from the opposite direction. He comes right between Jinx and the robot and then time seems to stand still. The racers pulls out a electric rod and it looks like he's about hit Jinx, when in the last minute hits the robot with the rod, but not before taking a lock of Jinx's hair that is not covered by her helmet. The robot gets electrocuted and falls down and hits the ground hard. As the Jinx makes it down on the ground safely, she stops. Charm passes by her to win. Jinx, not caring, takes off her helmet and realizes how much it hurt to have the racer pull her hair. The racer hits the ground hard and manages to avoid being hit by other racers and crashes into a group of parked cycles. While the crowd cheers for Charm winning. Leela arrives.)

Leela: Jinx, are you alright?

Jinx: I think so. (They see the robot, now shut down and see the racer coming out of the rubble of cycles. They both see him take off his helmet and it is Kif. He pulls out Jinx's hair and smells it, but once he realizes he's being watched by Jinx and Leela, gets nervous and runs away.)

Leela: That is Zapp's henchman, he was trying to kill you, too?

Jinx: No, he saved my life.

Leela: Look these dangerous, people are trying to kill you and those people have 014. We'll need help.

Jinx: We can't ask your agency on Earth, we'll need Martian help. I think it is time for me to reconnect with my past.

(Cut to Fry with two red ninjas. The ninjas have a needle.)

Fry: What is that?

Ninja1: Truth serum and it will make you tell us what the boss wants to know.

(A ten minutes later credit appears and we see the ninjas disappointed at the results.)

Fry: One time, I ate these stale chips, but it turned out they were toenails I clipped previously that week.

Ninja1: Man, it has been nothing but this. He's either clever or an idiot.

Ninja2: I'd say idiot.

(Next Scene. Jinx and Leela stand in front of a building that says, "The Head Red Lords Building." Underneath it reads, "Not Really Here".)

Leela: What are we going to do here?

Jinx: We need to talk to Biff. Maybe, he and the Red Lords, can help find Fry and find out who's trying to kill me.

I just hope they won't be too mad since I left without saying good-bye.

Leela: Well, I'm sure they've gotten over it.

(They enter and they meet a Red Lord member. He has the same type of red spy suit as Jinx, and has the same type of helmet as Jango Fett only it is red.)

Jinx: Lingo? Lingo!

Lingo: Jinx?! Man, I missed you. (Hugs her.) Where have you been? And who's your friend?

Jinx: This is Agent 1BDI. She is here helping me solve a case. Can you tell me where I can find Biff?

Lingo: Well oh right, he's in the back.

(They are walk to the back and they met a Neptunian with the same red suit.)

Jinx: Elmar!

Elmar: Jinx, wow, seeing you brings my happiness up a notch. Bam!

Leela: Wait aren't you related to Elzar, the Earth chef?

Elmar: Yeah, well he had a thing for cooking, I had a think for kicking ass.

(Then an average looking human in the same red suit appears.)

Jinx: John.

John: Hey, Jinx.

(Then Biff enters.)

Biff: Jinx, oh my god. It has been a long time.

Jinx: I know, I've come to ask for your help.

Biff: Yes, of course we can talk in my room. Meanwhile, your friend can have a tour around the place.

Leela: That would be nice.

(Cut to Leela, being shown by Lingo.)

Lingo: Here is where we train our men to build confidence. (We see men in karate gees and they are practicing kung fu.)

Leela: They are really good.

Elmar: Don't let that fool you. (Starts screaming really loud the men just run and hide scared.) As you can see they really need more training.

(Cut to Biff's room. Jinx looks around as if he hasn't seen this place before in a long time.)

Jinx: It feels strange being back.

Biff: Well, it has been strange that you weren't around. What happened to you Jinx?

Jinx: I've been away on Earth.

Biff: Earth!? You went to Earth?

Jinx: Yes, I've been the henchwoman of an evil robot, bent on ruling the Earth that made him a freak, or so he says.

Biff: Well, that is a shocker, what made you come back?

Jinx: Well, my partner's friend has been kidnaped by a group of red ninjas and these ninjas have also tried to kill me.

Biff: Ninjas? Wow, that is terrible news. Who is this kidnaped friend?

Jinx: A Mr. Philip J. Fry.

Biff: Never heard of him. (Sighs.)

Jinx: What's wrong?

Biff: It is just seeing you back, makes me feel different. You knew I liked you and I always felt you left because of me.

Jinx: No, of course not Biff. I left for myself, I needed something different in my life and by going to Earth, I accomplished that. It had nothing to do with you.

Biff: Thank you for saying that. I just want to know, how do you feel about me?

(They both look in each other's eyes and they kiss and they fall on Biff's bed. Cut to Leela. Her tour guides have wondered off ahead and she sees a door with a sign. "Employees Only". She opens the door and see men training, only they are dressed as the red ninjas.)

Leela: So this is the red ninjas' hideout, I've got to warn Jinx. (However, Leela gets knocked out by a shadowy figure.)

(Cut to Biff's room. Jinx is in bed and she wakes up and she see Biff pointing a laser at her. He's dressed.)

Biff: Get dressed and come with me.

Jinx: What is the meaning of this?

Biff: It is a shame, your friend having to stick her nose where it doesn't belong.

(Red Ninjas enter the room.)

Jinx: You!? It was you who has been trying to kill me!?

Biff: And the last racer finally reaches the finish line.

Jinx: (gets into fighting stance, we see she has her bra and underwear on.) Well, it will take more than these ninjas to stop me.

(Just then we hear familiar voice off screen.)

Voice: You got that right. (Jinx gets knocked out.)

(Cut to Jinx waking up. She's in her spy suit she looks to her right and sees Fry and Leela. They all are strapped to plates of glass.)

Fry: Leela, I'm so glad to see you, but why is Jinx here?

Leela: She came to help me.

Jinx: A lot of good that did.

(Biff enters with Lingo, John and Elmar.)

Biff: At last you finally woke up.

Jinx: How could you, Biff? How could you try and kill one of your own?

Biff: One of my own? You betrayed us, by leaving. You see Jinx, I knew all the time you left for Earth to work for Ironfinger. We all saw the Power Slurm commercial. If you leaving us wasn't bad enough, you made us addicted to that crap. (Everyone agrees.)

Jinx: What does that have to do with killing me?

Biff: Well, after you left I found someone to take your place and she wanted to see you die, only then she would less feel like a replacement and more of a improvement. (Door opens and it is Charm. She's in the same spy suit as Jinx and has a red bandana.)

Jinx: Charm!

Charm: That is right, Jinx. I was under your nose and you didn't even know it. Biff came to me and told me you left and I was happy to join the Red Lords and prove I was the better femme fatale. When I learned you were on Earth, Biff and I set to not only kill you, but destroy the planet you live on.

Fry: You are going to destroy Earth?

Charm: Yes.

Leela: How?

Biff: I'd be happy to show you. (Pulls on remote control and shows them Hologram 3D model of a ship. He pushes another button and a top door opens and something pops out to what looks like a giant magnifying glass.)

Biff: We will use the ship and get close to Earth. Once close, we will use the giant magnifying glass and reflect the rays of the sun, and cook the planet to a crisp. We will finish what global warming started. However, you three won't live to see that. (Pushes another button and a laser comes down.) This laser will kill each of you, one at a time. Now, we have to go to the launch site of our ship which is located deep in the Martian plains. It is a shame Jinx, I liked you, but now I have Charm to keep me company.

Charm: Too bad as well Jinx that we won't get the chance to prove who's the better woman, but I guess we'll have to leave it to the result of the motorcross race.

(The Red Lords leave. They leave two ninjas to stand guard and the laser turns on and aims at the right side and it moves and is about to hit Leela.)

Fry: What do we do, Leela?

Leela: Wait, Fry do you still have that ring?

Fry: Yes.

Leela: Turn it on, it's our only hope. (They both twist the rings and the plates of glass they are strapped to break.)

Leela: Now, to help Jinx. (But they get into a fight with the ninjas. The laser beam gets closer to Jinx.)

Jinx: Guys, whenever you are ready, can you please save me. (But they are still busy. Then Kif comes out of nowhere and with a sword cuts the straps that tied Jinx and pulls her to safety. Leela and Fry finally take down the ninjas.)

Kif: I'm so glad you are safe.

Jinx: I would like to thank you, but can I ask why? Why have you've been following me and saving me? Mr. Kif...

Kif: Kroker, Kif Kroker.

Jinx: Well, Mr. Kif Kroker, why have you've been following me?

Kif: Because, I-I....love you!

(Everyone gasps.)

Jinx: Did you say you love me?

Kif: Yes, ever since I first met you at the Hip Joint in the internet. Something warm overcame me, at first I thought it was a flu, my people get that, but I realized it was just love.

Jinx: But that wasn't really me, it was a digital clone.

Kif: I know, but I figured if a digital clone made me feel this way, then the real thing would be better. Back in Florida, I was heading to prepare Zapp's room, when I heard voices coming from another room. It was there where I heard about the plot to kill you and about Biff.

Jinx: You knew about Biff?

Kif: Biff was someone I knew from high school from my home planet and he'd always pick on me because I was small and frail. And I couldn't believe he'd want you dead. I was making sure he wouldn't do that.

Jinx: (with tears) Oh Kif, I'm flattered and thank you. (Hugs Kif.) I've never had someone actually risk their life for me.

Leela: I'm sorry, but can you two love birds get a grip. We still have to stop the Red Lords from destroying Earth.

Kif: She's right.

Jinx: Yeah, I suppose Ironfinger won't like someone else to destroy Earth. Alright, let's go save, Earth.

(Cut to the four of them in the Halle BXW.)

Fry: Man, this is creepy Leela. Us teaming up with the bad guys to fight other bad guys. This is just as weird as X-men, except we don't have super powers. Aw man that would be sweet to have super powers and all. I'd be all. (imitates explosions.)

Leela: Fry, focus!

(Cut to the BXW heading toward a fortress and we see a rocket ship readying for launch. We then cut the where the Red Lords are.)

Lingo: Boss, we have company.

Biff: Jinx! Send the ninjas.

(Cut to the outside and ninjas ride out in cars and they start firing at the BXW.)

Leela: Hold on everyone.

(Leela turns to the right. The ninjas continue firing. Leela manages to spin the car around and turn it in reverse. She pushes a button and that rises the missile launchers on the front of the car. They fire and they take out two ninja cars, there are still a few left. Leela manages to spin the car again and drive forward. She pushes a button and it sets the oil slick. A bunch of ninja cars slip and crash into each other. There is one ninja left. Leela manages to head back to the fortress and the ninja car continues to fire at them. Cut to Biff.)

Biff: Blast! Quick use the lasers and blast them to bits. (Lingo pushes a button and a whole bunch of lasers point in the direction our heroes are coming from.)

Leela: Hold on, everybody.

(The lasers fire creating a whole bunch of dust, so can't see the BXW. The ninjas drive up and get blasted. The laser fire stops and the BXW has disappeared.)

Lingo: Boss, I think we got them.

Biff: Good, now no one can stop us from destroying Earth. (Laughs evilly and everyone joins in one by one.) I didn't say all of you could laugh. (Everyone stops and he goes on laughing.)

(Cut to the wreckage and the BXW appears out of nowhere.)

Leela: That cloaking device was what saved us.

Jinx: Good now let's get Biff and Charm.

Kif: I want a piece of Biff myself.

Jinx: You want a piece of Biff, too? Why?

Kif: Well you see Biff, just like me, Biff was part of DOOP. He was a captain, while I was just an assistant of one.

Leela: How did he wind up on Mars?

Kif: Biff was court marshaled for trying to take over the Solar System and then the universe. After being court marshaled he disappeared. It was rumored that he moved to Mars to form a spy group to help him rule the Universe.

Jinx: No wonder he wanted me to join his group.

Leela: Come on, we've got to stop him.

(Cut to the four breaking into the front door and they are met with a gang of ninjas. Cut to Biff and the Red Lords.)

Biff: We have intruders. Lingo, John, Elmar take care of it, Charm come with me.

(Cut back to our heroes.)

Jinx: Kif and I will stop Biff and Charm.

Leela: Jinx, here. (Throws her ring and Jinx catches it.) It should help you break the magnifying glass.

Jinx: thanks.

Fry: Take mine, Kif.

(Throws it to Kif and he catches it. Jinx and Kif manage to take out a few ninjas and make their way towards Biff and Charm. Lingo comes out of no where and meets Fry.)

Fry: Alright, time to take it to the next level. (Fry is able to kick Lingo's helmet in, but the weirdest thing a little alien falls out of the helmet. Lingo is a robot, operated by a small alien.)

Fry: Wow, a little alien piloting this robot, it is just like Men In...

(The alien kicks him and pulls out a pair of nun-chucks and start hitting Fry with it. Leela manages to kick John in the stomach and now has to deal with Elmar.)

Elmar: I'm going to punch your face with all my hands. (Elmar starts punching, but Leela blocks. Not bad for someone who's fighting a four-armed alien. We cut to Charm and Biff, entering the ship and the ship takes off. Jinx and Kif arrive and they've managed to climb on aboard.)

Kif: Jinx, you take care of the magnifying glass, and I'll take the controls. (Kif gives Jinx his ring.)

Jinx: Good luck, Kif. (They both kiss and they like it. Cut to cockpit.)

Biff: We have intruders, Charm take care of it.

Charm: I'd be glad to...

(Charm leaves. Cut back to Mars. Fry is getting beaten pretty badly by the small alien and Fry then sees a suitcase. The alien leaps into the air and is about smack Fry in the head with the nun-chucks, but Fry opens the suitcase and the alien falls in with Fry closing the suitcase.)

Alien: Let me out! When I get out, I'm breaking your shins.

(Cut to Leela. Leela has her hands full with Elmar, but she has a plan.)

Leela: Elmar caught. (Throws a random object at him and he catches it.)

Elmar: Foolish, woman. I can catch, anything you throw at me.

Leela: Well caught these. (She throws are sorts of things and Elmar starts to get tired and finally he's so exhausted that he collaspes.)

Leela: Well, that takes care of the goons, now it is up to Jinx and Kif.

(Cut to Jinx. she sees the magnifying glass and she has the rings ready to shatter it.)

Charm: (OS) Not so fast. Did you forget me? (She has the same type of weapons Electra has.) I've waited for this day for a long, long time.

Jinx: Bring it on. (Pulls out a kung fu stick. They start fighting. We hear the Charlie's Angel Theme Song Again. Charm keeps trying to stab Jinx, while Jinx blocks. Cut to Biff.)

Biff: Aw, we should make it to the perfect position in five minutes.

Kif: Halt!

Biff: Kif Kroker!

Kif: Yes, Biff, it is me.

Biff: Well, if it isn't the "lousy assistant of the most incompetent captain in the history of DOOP".

Kif: You, are a disgrace to DOOP, Biff, even a much bigger than Zapp.

Biff: Well, at least I'm ripped. (Starts punching, Kif blocks, but he soon gets over powered.)

(Cut to Jinx and Charm. They are evenly match, but Charm takes a cheap shot and knocks Jinx down.)

Charm: Slow as usually, you are pathetic, Jinx. I've been looking forward to this for a long time. Soon, I'll be the best.

(She prepares her weapon to stab her, when Jinx blocks it and places the rings on each of her hands.)

Charm: What are you doing? Marrying me to death?

Jinx: No. (Twists the rings and they make the noise, Jinx kicks Charm so hard that she lands on the magnifying glass. Charms hands touch the glass causing in to break, she hits hard on the floor. The impact shatters the rings on her hands.)

Jinx: Charm, you've just got you ass kicked with honors.

(She leaves. Cut to Biff and Kif, Biff is punching Kif harder and harder.)

Kif: I'll never let you hurt, Jinx.

Biff: So, you have a thing you her.

(Kif makes it to the controls and Bif punches Kif really hard in the chest. It is as if his fist went right through him. Kif starts pushing a few buttons.)

Biff: What are you doing?

Kif: Setting to self-destruct mode.

Biff: Ha, go ahead, I'll be out of here in no time. I'll just plan another scheme to destroy the planet,your Jinx lives. Don't worry, she be joining you ever soon, because she won't live to see Earth destroyed.

Kif: That is what you think. (We see all that Biff has punched are the controls. Kif has used his alien powers to make a donut hole in his chest. Biff's fist just went through it, Kif splits apart and manages to move away from Biff, whose fist is now stuck at the controls. Kif reassembles himself.)

Computer: Self-destruct in one minute.

Kif: Good luck getting free, your muscles prevent you from using your powers properly. (Biff tries to and Kif is right.) So long, Biff. (Leaves.)

Biff: This isn't over, Kif! You have not heard the last of me!

(Kif races to the escape pods and meets Jinx.)

Jinx: Kif, where's Biff?

Kif: He's busy punching at the controls.

(They hop into an escape pod and race out of there. We see them drive away from the ship as it explodes.)

Kif: That was close.

Jinx: Yes, uh oh.

Kif: What?

Jinx: I could've have sworn, from the rear view mirror, I saw another escape pod escaping from the ship as it was blowing up. Something tells me, we'll meet them again.

(Cut the escape pod, Jinx was talking about. Charm is piloting.)

Charm: Don't worry, my love, we'll make them pay for this.

(Pan to see Biff. He has a few burns and his hand is still stuck to parts of the control.)

Biff: I swear I'll destroy them and the planet live on. Ow, my burns hurt.

Charm: Let me kiss them. (She does so and Biff behaves like a little kid, when his mom kisses his boo-boos.)

(Cut back to Mars, we see Leela and Fry outside right by the BXW. Leela has a cynocular and looks at the Martian sky. She sees an escape pod and it lands right next to them. Kif and Jinx get out.)

Jinx: We stopped Biff and Charm.

Leela: Where are they?

Jinx: They are either dead, or they've managed to escape. But I think we'll meet again.

Fry: We've managed to take out their men, they are inside.

(Just then an escape pod blasts out of the fortress and into space.)

Fry: Well, so what else is new?

Leela: Jinx, how can we thank you for saving, Earth? (Shakes her hand.) This is creepy.

Jinx: Please, don't make it creepier.

Fry: Don't you two need a lift back to Earth?

Jinx: No, I think Kif and I would like to take the long way home.

(She puts her arm around Kif and kisses him, he smiles and blushes nervously. Leela and Fry get in the BXW.)

Leela: Jinx, Kif, you know we could use you two at PE HQ.

Jinx: Please, as soon as we meet on Earth, I'm kicking your butt. I've got a crazy robot to work for.

Kif: And I was court marshaled, remember?

Leela: It was worth a shot.

(They blast away. Cut to Ironfinger's hideout and she has told him the whole story.)

Jinx: And that is how I ended up here.

Ironfinger: Well, that was a good story, though not as good as mine, since your story hardly had me in it. But I can't believe you joined forces with my mortal enemies.

Jinx: It was either that or have the world blown up...

Ironfinger: Big deal.

Jinx: ...with you along with it and you wouldn't take the credit.

Ironfinger: What!? You are right! Good work, Jinx! Now join me in my room, Scruffy's in there right now to listen to my next story.

(We see them enter the room. We see a shadow and it appears to be swinging from mid-air.)

Ironfinger: My God, Scruffy! What have you done?!

(We pan to see Scruffy is just hanging from a spy rope.)

Scruffy: Scruffy's replacing this light bulb.

(And that is what he's doing. However, as he turns it on the light, he gets electrocuted.)

Scruffy: Marmalade! (The rope breaks and he falls down.)

Jinx: I think he's dead.

Ironfinger: Well, better call for his replacement.

(Jinx wakes up to the video phone, but she gets a call. She picks it up and it is Kif.)

Jinx: Kif, how nice to see you.

Kif: Jinx, Zapp gave me the night off from his bathing duties. Would you like to go out on a date?

Jinx: Date? Why I'd be delighted to. Pick me up at 7?

Kif: Why sure.

(Jinx hangs up and she has a smile on her face.)






Fry: Me, a secret agent? Wow, I'm going to be like James Bond and those other spies that ripped him off.



Fry: What's with the eye?

Leela: I'm a mutant, alright.

Fry: Cool, a mutant, do you have super powers and try to convince the world that you are a hero, not a monster?

Leela: No, I just work here.



Professor: Now, 014 and 1BDI, this mission is dangerous and will require the help of a robot. This one I have for you is a Bending unit. Tell them who you are Bender.

Bender: I'm Bender.

Fry: Hi.

Leela: Hello there.

Fry: Hey, how come you have gloves on?

Bender: (panics) What these gloves? Oh no big reason, haven't you heard of today's fashion. They are all the rage for robots.

Fry: Well, they look great. Can I try them out?

Bender: No!