Going Insane 1 - Personality Blend
[Leela and Fry are at their wedding and have just said their vows. Fry is the
happiest man on Earth, when all of a sudden a huge black hole opens up and destroys
the love letter of stars above them and then the black void grows and consumes
everything, leaving only black and sorrow]
[Fry then wakes up with a start]
FRY: Oh man! What a nightmare! We were so close to finally being happy, but
like that the one thing that could have gotten Leela to love me is gone, DESTROYED!
And by none other than Leela herself! Well that is it! There has to be another
way to win Leelas heart, and I just have to find it!
BENDER: Hey keep it down in there skintube!
FRY (whispering): I just have to.
[The next day at the planet Express Building Fry arrives bright and early just
as Hermes shows up]
HERMES: Great Gatsby Man!!! What are you doing here so early Fry! Usually you
are late and barely make it for the meeting.
FRY: Yeah I know, I am trying to become more mature and responsible.
HERMES: Oh I know what brought about this sudden change in ya. It is Leela
FRY: How did you know?
HERMES: You are not married as long as I without knowing a thing or two about
love. Dont worry your little secret is safe with me.
FRY: Thanks Hermes.
HERMES: Dont mention it mon, just do one thing for me.
HERMES: Wake up the professor, he usually needs some fluids drained about now.
FRY: Oh man do I have to?
[In the professors room, Fry enters and wakes the professor]
Farnsworth: HA! WA! WA! What plan to destroy the Earth I dont know what
you are talking about!
FRY: Professor, its me Fry, it is time for you to uh release some of
Farnsworth: Ah yes Fry, thanks for reminding me. I will just take a minute,
just dont touch anything! Especially not the what if machine over there.
I think someone has been stealing devices and using lab equipment without my permission.
FRY: Ok professor.
[The professor then shuffles off into the bathroom at a half mile per hour]
FRY (thinking): This is taking forever. Hmmm
a what if machine. I remember
that it tells you the answer to a what if question. That is how I will know how
to get Leela without having to go through the pain and embarrassment of failing.
[Fry then goes over to the machine and rubs it]
FRY: Yes this is what I will use. I will just have to do it when nobody is
Farnsworth: Uh Fry can you come in here I think I need your help.
[Fry then quivers with disgust and goes in, some time later at the conference
Farnsworth: good news everyone! You all will be making a delivery today to
9 pin the bowling planet. Also I have created this!
[the professor pulls a cloth off a small stand and a small piece of what looks
like dust is seen]
Farnsworth: this is my mind behavioural reprogrammer and scanner. With this
someone can go into another person's brain and reprogram its most basic functions
to whatever the user wished. I just cant remember what it delivery system
[the professor then trailed off in thought like he always does]
HERMES: Fry actually came in early this morning and helped me to release some
unwanted fluids, now all bets on the table, who won ?
AMY: I bet three years
LEELA: I bet five
ZOIDBURG: I bet this clam, but I ate it.
HERMES: I bet never
Farnsworth: And I bet two years
HERMES: Well it appears that Leela won this contest. Here are your winnings,
it comes to two-thousand dollars and ninety three cents.
LEELA: Oh wow! This is great! Now I can finally afford some new boots and a
wristamajugger upgrade! Thanks for being more mature Fry!
[Fry then receives a sweet, I just won the lotto, kiss on the cheek from Leela]
FRY: Dont mention it, hey wait you were betting on how long it would
take before I came to work on time!
HERMES: It was all for fun mon. we never actually thought you would do it.
LEELA: No hard feelings Fry, we never thought it would ever go this far.
FRY: I dont believe this! Nobody thought I could ever become more mature
Farnsworth: Indeed, never
ZOIDBURG: When I get to eat on a regular basis
LEELA: Sorry Fry, but I was having my doubts too.
FRY: Oh I will show you! I will show all of you that I can become more mature.
[Fry then ran off and hid somewhere to collect his thoughts.]
LEELA: You all should be ashamed of yourselves! Fry finally beats the odds
and becomes more mature and you all laugh about it! I am going to find him and
[Leela walks off angry at the others to find Fry.]
FRY (crying): Oh I give up. This is hopeless. I try to become more mature and
they all laugh at me like it all was some kind of a joke.
[Just then Leela comes out from the shadows.]
LEELA: Oh Fry. I am sorry for making fun of you back there, but it is no reason
to quit. I just know you can do it. All you need to do is try.
FRY: I dont know even just coming to work today early was only because
of a nightmare I had and could not sleep. I dont think I even have it in
me to be responsible. I mean if I was responsible and mature I would have never
been frozen and come to the future.
LEELA: Oh just try Fry. I know you will become responsible one day.
FRY: Alright Ill try.
[They walk off together and go to the ship.]
HERMES: It is about time woman! Lets go they really need these bowling balls
where you are going.
LEELA: Alright lets go.
[The ship takes off and Fry is in his room sleeping. ]
FRY: Leela look at how mature I have become!
LEELA: Ha ha ha! It is never good enough! You will never be able to meet my
standars, and the only shot you ever had was destroyed by none other than yours
truly. You should have kept the worms you fool!!!
[Fry then woke up startled and distraught by the dream he just had.]
FRY (thinking): Oh man how long can I go on living like this.
[Fry looks around his cabin ad asses the dump he has been living in.]
FRY: I cant go on like this. It is time for a change.
[Fry then got out of his bed and cleaned up the room. He put all the laundry
in the hamper, and threw all the trash down the chute and out of the ship. He
then went down the get his laundry done and came back in ten minutes.]
FRY: Wow in the future even the crummy washer we have in the broom closet is
really fast compared to what I had to deal with.
[Fry then put away all his clothes and put on a new set. He then went up to
LEELA: Oh hey Fry, wait a minute something is different about you. GASP! Did
you actually wash your clothes!
FRY: Yeah what is surprising about that?
LEELA: Oh nothing, not until we get back anyhow.
FRY: Are we going to get there soon?
LEELA: Not there yet
oh wait now we are.
[The crew disembark and go their separate ways.]
LEELA: Not so fast Fry, someone has to help me to deliver this cargo.
FRY: Oh man why do I have to do it all the time?
LEELA: Well what ever happened to the mature Fry?
FRY: Oh nothing he is just on a break.
LEELA: Well either way you are going to deliver that crate to that bowling
alley while I do some maintenance on the ship.
FRY: Yes maam.
[Fry uses the hover dolly to bring the crate to the bowling alley and delivers
FRY: Well that was uneventful. I had better go back to the ship before they
forget about me and leave.
[Fry goes back to the ship not knowing that Leela is watching]
LEELA (thinking): Hmmm
I feel sorry for him. It almost looks like he is
struggling within himself against some primal instinct and loosing slowly but
surely. But I think I know how to solve that problem.
[After an uneventful delivery the crew all head home, except for two who are
hiding in the building long after the lights are out and everyone has left.]
FRY (thinking): This is the perfect opportunity to find out how to win Leelas
[In another storage closet]
LEELA (thinking): If I can make a mini-droid of myself and use the mind behavioural
scanner I can make Fry more mature, and who knows what will happen then.
[They both sneak out and go into the darkened lab without seeing each other]
FRY: Here it is
I just have to be really quiet
[He turns the what if machine on]
FRY: What if I become more mature and responsible?
[A what if scenario plays showing Fry and Leela being closer together, but
they still never fall in love.]
FRY: What if I write I love you Leela in the sky with stars again?
[A what if scenario plays showing Fry making the message, but he puts it into
the wrong part of the sky and it is too big and up close for anyone to see, it
then combines into one super star and explodes obliterating half the galaxy.]
FRY: This may take longer than I thought. What if
[Cut to Leela in the scanning machine.]
LEELA: All done. Now all I have to do is implant myself in Fry and use the
[She stores the minidroid and reprogrammer in a small box and leaves the building]
[Fifty what ifs later we see Fry delirious on the floor about to pass out of
exhaustion from thinking too much, he then decides to find out what would happen
if he had done something differently.]
FRY: What if I never got rid of the worms?
[There is a what if scenario of him and Leela making love that night he got
rid of the worms, and then the next day, he falls over when he tries to get out
of bed, because of a strange pain in his head. He then speaks in monotone because
the worms have only helped him become strong and smart, so they could have a good
host to live in, and take over.]
FRY: Wow good thing I got rid of those. What if I took Leela up with me when
I got a safe distance away from the doomsday device?
[Scenario shows Fry and Leela looking at the message and then passionately
kissing, however the doomsday device was not calibrated correctly and there is
a massive explosion instead of implosion that causes time to skip ahead until
the apocalypse and everyone dies a horrible fiery death.]
FRY: Wow now I am really glad I didnt do that. What if Leela was more
impulsive and lightened up a little?
[The scenario skips ahead to Leela cornering Fry like in anthology of interest
I, and then shows them after sleeping together and Leela gets the lights.]
FRY: WOW!! I really like that one! But how can I do that?
[Fry using both the power of his heart and mind remembers the invention the
professor showed this morning]
FRY: Of course that is how I will do it!, although I do feel it is a little
wrong to do that. Ill have to sleep on it.
[Fry looks down at his watch]
FRY: Oh my God! It is four a.m. I have to get some sleep and look normal in
the morning so nobody becomes suspicious.
[Fry runs to the nearest quick-e-mart]
FRY: I need your strongest pep pill!
CASHIER: Well ok, will you sign this waiver?
FRY: Yeah sure whatever just give it to me!
CASHIER: Ok here you go buddy.
[He hands Fry a large bottle and Fry pays for it.]
FRY: This may have cost me, but if it will help me to look like I was responsible
and didnt spend all night up then I just might have a chance.
[Fry opened the bottle and took three of the massive pills]
FRY: Oh man those were rough going down. Hey what does this warning label say?
[Fry reads the label, it says: caution only take one pill ever day. Any more
than one may cause extreme hyper activity to the point of neat death experience.]
FRY: Ah I feel fine. Oh no Hermes is going to be at the door soon. I have to
make it look like I was there waiting the whole time.
[Fry then ran to the Planet Express Building and was there faster than if a
hyper tube had taken him. ]
FRY: Alright this is awesome!
HERMES: I cant believe my eyes! Fry! Here earlier than me! And looking
like he got a good nights sleep and is ready to start the work day. I think this
crush you have has gone to your head mon.
FRY: No time must keep moving.
HERMES: Oh there will be plenty of that today. We have to clean up and get
this place ready for a heath and safety inspection tomorrow. Looks like you all
will be putting in overtime today.
[Hermes opens the door and Fry runs in. at a blinding pace before his very
eyes Fry cleans, fixes, and readies everything for the inspection in ten minutes.]
HERMES: My God Man!!! You cleaned this place up faster than nibbler finishing
off an all you can eat buffet! Well it will be an interesting meeting today.
[At he conference table everyone is taking their seats when Fry runs over an
sits down before all of them.]
Farnsworth: Good news everyone, Fry has stupidly taken three atomic strength
pep pills and has done all the work for today in the first few minutes this place
was unlocked, so you all have the day off.
[Everyone gets up and is leaving when Fry goes over to Leela.]
FRY: So Leela, now that I am so mature and responsible that I have done this
for you all, do you want to go to the café across the street with me?
LEELA (thinking): This will be the perfect chance to plant the droid.
LEELA: Sure Fry, now that you are more mature and wont make a fool of yourself
in public I would love to.
[They go across the street to the café.]
FRY: Ill have some water to start, I will be back in a minute, I forgot
to get something from the building.
[Fry rushes away and Leela plants the droid in Frys water. In the building
Fry uses the what if machine.]
FRY: What if I went with Leela to the café across the street, and ran
in to use the what if machine?
[Scenario shows what Fry just did, then Fry watching this scenario, then Fry
going back and having an uneventful yet nice sort of date with Leela.]
FRY: Well that was anticlimactic, hey wait it showed me saying that just now.
It really does work.
[Fry went back out to the café and started to talk with Leela and eat
some bread that was brought to the table.]
FRY: So how have things been with you?
LEELA: Oh nothing much really, although I am almost ready to put a window in
my living room.
FRY: Oh thats nice, I have been just sort of trying to be more mature
and responsible, like what happened today along with doing laundry and cleaning
LEELA: Oh really that is interesting. So how is the water?
FRY: Not bad it is a lot cleaner than old new york water though.
LEELA: Good just be sure to drink it all.
LEELA: Uh um because it is good for you and mature people do that.
[Fry then drinks his water really fast and swallows the minidroid.]
LEELA: well I have to be on my way then. See you later.
FRY: Ok see you tomorrow.
LEELA (thinking): Maybe sooner than you think.
[Leela then went home and put on a net-suit and started to control the mini-droid
LEELA: Wow this place sure is a dump since those worms left. I hope that he
forgives me for throwing him out on the street without even giving him a chance.
[The droid makes its way to Frys brain]
LEELA: Ok then. Lets get started.
[She activates the device and it launches probes that lodge in Frys brain
and a computer screen on the device turns on.]
LEELA: Now lets see here. We need to do some reprogramming.
[She begins to type in parameters that have to be changed in Frys mind]
LEELA: Be a little more serious, take a lot more responsibility for your actions,
act more mature, keep it all within some degree of moderation. That should do
it. I had better get the device back before someone notices that it is gone.
[The droid exits the body trough the nose and lands on the pavement outside
of robot arms apartments just as Fry was about to walk in.]
LEELA: Alright all I have to do now is bring back that device before anyone
[She goes down to the apartment and retrieves the droid. Meanwhile in Frys
FRY: Oh man I feel weird like now I suddenly feel as though I have to do more
chores around here and eat a healthy meal. Ehh, it couldnt hurt.
[Fry cleans up more and goes grocery shopping.]
FRY: I think I will buy some healthy foods like fruits and vegetables.
[Fry comes back and unpacks his groceries.]
FRY: Alright it is getting dark. Time to put my plan into motion.
[Fry went to the Planet Express Building and got in trough an unlocked window.]
FRY: Alright I am in time to get that device and make a mini-droid of myself.
[Fry makes his droid and takes the device. Using his super speed he then rushes
over to Leelas apartment and sees her installing that damn window. ]
FRY: Perfect now all I have to do I plant the droid.
[Fry uses a blow tube and launches the droid into Leelas hair.]
FRY: Alright now all I have to do is activate it and my plan will soon be completed.
Hey why am I using such good grammar? Must be a maturity thing.
[Back at Frys apartment he controls the droid with a net suit he borrowed.]
FRY: Alright I am in. wow Leelas hair is really thick. It is like being
in a purple rainforest.
[Fry droid gets into the ear and then into the brain.]
FRY: Here we go.
[Activates device and it attaches to Leelas brain.]
FRY (programming): Be a little more impulsive, lower your standards a bit for
Fry, try to loosen up a bit. Be a little nicer when Fry screws up. That aught
to do it.
[Fry then left Leelas body and dropped to the street. Fry later on retrieved
the droid and returns it to the lab before it is missed. ]
[The next day at the Planet Express Building, Fry there already for the third
time in a row]
LEELA: Hi everyone on I whim I did a little shopping and look at these new
boots I got they are just like my old ones, but with the crazy green stripe. Cool
Farnsworth: Leela can I see you in my office for a moment?
[In Farnsworths office]
Farnsworth: As you know I will not live for ever, so I have left you my sole
air because you are so unimpulsive.
LEELA: Hello new boots.
Farnsworth: Yes, yes I know, anyway when I die you will be a very wealthy woman.
[Leela then kicks Farnsworth into the man eating ant eater pit]
Farnsworth: Ha ha! I knew this was coming! You are out of the will! And I would
also like to tell you next time you feel like killing just have a stick of gum.
LEELA: Oh ok then.
[At the conference table.]
Farnsworth: Good news everyone. I now have evidence that someone has been tampering
with the equipment and stealing devices from my lab. I do not know who it is yet,
but when I do find out I will sick my doomsday weapon on you for it.
[Fry, Leela, and Bender start to whistle in a vain attempt to act nonchalant.]
HERMES: Ok then we still have an inspection to pass today, so everyone act
properly. Or you are fired! The inspector will be here in two seconds, one, now.
[Just then Morgan proctor walked into the room]
PROCTOR: well it seems we meet again Hermes, hello Fry.
PROCTOR: I will be inspecting you all today, and if I even see one code violation
all of you will be out of the job, except Fry.
LEELA (whispering to Fry): Oh no, we are fired for sure!
FRY (whispering to Leela): Please forgive me for anything I do today, and just
know it is only for the good of us all.
PROCTOR: Alright I want to see all of you in your quarters on the ship right
now for inspection.
[Everyone starts to go to the ship]
PROCTOR: Except you Fry.
[Once everyone is on the ship]
PROCTOR: You know Fry I still have a thing for you.
FRY (thinking):Forgive me Leela.
FRY: Do you want to see my quarters first?
[They go to Frys quarters on the ship, the room is very clean and neat,
proctor is disappointed]
FRY: Damn cleaning robot!
[Fry then rips open all the draws and throws the clothes on the floor]
PROCTOR: Oh dirty boy! Oh you dirty little boy!
[They start passionately making out and progressively get to the bed]
[An hour or so later]
AMY: Man this is taking way too long! I am going to find out what the heck
it going on around here!
[She marches toward Frys room, when Leela pulls her into her room]
LEELA: Dont you dare go in there!
AMY: Why the heck not!
LEELA: Alright girl talk now.
LEELA: Look you remember that proctor has a thing for Fry, because he is a
slob and to her there is nothing kinkier?
AMY: Oh yeah now I remember.
LEELA: Look I do not like it, but you know as well as I that this ship has
no chance of making even the most basic of safety regulations, and Fry is in there
convincing proctor to let it all slide.
AMY: Oh no you mean they are actually doing it now!
LEELA (with a tear): Yes, now I love Fry especially now that he has become
more mature, and even more now that I seem to have loosened up and become more
impulsive. But I need a favour of you.
AMY: Sure what is it?
LEELA: I know Fry could never tell me to my face how he really feels about
me so I want you to put this in your hair and confront him about his little inspection.
[Leela pulls a small clip from her wristamajuggor and gives it to Amy]
AMY: What is it?
LEELA: It is a miniature camera with a microphone. I will be able to see and
hear everything that you do. It came with the upgrade I got.
[Just then proctor came out of Frys room]
PROCTOR: Well Mr. Fry it seems as though this ship and its company pass the
inspection with flying colors. I will see you all at a random time next year.
[Proctor leaves the building and everyone except amy, Leela, and Fry let out
a joyous cry.]
AMY: I have to talk to you in private Fry.
FRY: Ok sure.
[in Frys Amys room]
AMY: Wow so you two did do it in here.
FRY: Look I just did it so that we could all keep our jobs. I didnt like
one minute of it though.
AMY: What about Leela?
FRY: Oh my God LEELA!!! Oh I feel so sorry for what I did! I truly love her
with all my heart! I only wanted for things to go on like normal, but when proctor
came I just had to do something or we all would never be able to live a good life
ever again! Oh I love Leela and only Leela. Do you think she will ever forgive
me? I AM SO SORRY!!!!!
[We now see Leela viewing all that is happening in Frys room with tears
beginning to form in her eye.]
FRY: I have to go apologize right now.
[Fry goes toward Leelas quarters and opens the door]
FRY: oh Leela I am..
LEELA: Apology accepted Fry.
FRY: You knew all along.
LEELA: Yes I knew that we would all be out of the job when I saw that the little
cleanup you did was more like sweeping everything under the rug and even a complete
idiot could find the faults in this company and its ship.
FRY: Well I just want you to know that i..
LEELA: I love you too Fry.
FRY: Hey how did you know what I was going to say?
LEELA: With this
[She shows him the cameras view on Amy from her wristamajuggor]
FRY: Hey cool, I think we can use this
[Fry goes to Amy and takes the clip, he then puts it onto Benders head
when he is not looking]
[A little while later in the conference room]
HERMES: I have called you all here to show you conclusive proof of who the
thief really is here, and it is someone who is not at this table.
[Everyone looks around, and only Bender is missing because he was in the kitchen
getting another beer]
[They all go to the kitchen and confront Bender]
BENDER: What are you talking about?
[She holds up her wristamajuggor and they all see Bender stealing things late
BENDER: CHEESE IT!!!!
Farnsworth: Dont let him get away he has one of my precious doomsday
LEELA: This is the last straw Bender you go down now!
[She grabs a bluchers knife]
BENDER: Ha ha ha I am made of metal you cannot hurt me with that!
[Cut to some time later]
LEELA: Wow professor how did you know that breaking the microwave like that
would stop Bender like that?
Farnsworth: Uh I saw it in a movie once, and you were there too, it think.
HERMES: Well I think we all have had enough fun today. Now go home it is time
to go home.
[Everyone begins to leave]
FRY: Hey Leela, now that I am more mature and you are a bit more impulsive,
do you want to go out tonight?
LEELA: Um well Fry, uh, sure why not I just had the impulse to.
FRY: Say eight oclock at elzars and later on for a movie?
LEELA: Sure eight it is.
[At Frys apartment]
FRY: Alright finally I have gotten Leela to go on a date with me. It is a dream
come true! Now I just have to get ready.
[Eight oclock at Elzars Leela arrives in a nice dress to see Fry already
there wearing some nice dress clothes and a blue sports jacket]
LEELA: Wow Fry you look so mature and handsome.
FRY: You look beautiful too Leela.
[They get a table and begin to eat.]
FRY: So, how is being more impulsive working out for you?
LEELA: Oh well it is a new feeling, but I kind of like it, like my personality
is finally complete, how it the whole mature and responsible project coming along?
FRY: Well, I have cleaned up my place, locker, and ship cabin. I arrive at
work before even Hermes, I get my work done in half the time, and I do not watch
as much TV as before. I have found reading a book more interesting. Also I have
managed to balance my finances and have projected that I can buy one of those
wristamajuigors next week with the money I saved and invested.
LEELA: Wow that is quite an improvement! Say what made you change like that?
I thought you would never come around.
FRY: Why it was the love I have for you and the desire I have always had, but
could never express, to get you to love me too.
LEELA: Oh Fry that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Uh waiter
[Fry and Leela take a cab to leave, when they stop at Leelas apartment]
LEELA: Come on in, I had a wonderful night. The least you could do is walk
me to my door you handsome mature new Fry you.
FRY: Sure lets go.
[Fry walks Leela to her door and she opens it. Then Fry steps inside with her.]
LEELA: Uh Fry, I think
.I have to show you something that only the love I have for
you can let me do.
[Fry pulls out his holophonor and plays a long drawn out sonnet even better
than last time.]
LEELA: Wow Fry, that was even better than last time! And you even did it on
your own. Let me show you the bedroom.
[Fry pulls out a small video tape from his holophoner case]
FRY: I have to check on something real quick.
[Fry plays the tape on Leelas television]
[The tape plays and he sees Leela taking the mind device and making a minidroid
FRY: I knew it! I could never have become more mature on my own and you were
not going to let me try either!
[Just then Leela corners Fry ]
LEELA: Well now you know Fry, Bender may have been taking the devices, but
I have been using them, and now so that you dont talk I am going to have
to do something really impulsive
[Cut to Fry and Leela in bed naked after having slept with each other]
LEELA: So Fry what do you think of the impulsive new me?
FRY: I like it! But there is something I have to tell you. I used some lab
devices too, like the what if machine and I am the one who made you more impulsive
the same way you made me more mature. Also, you know how I got those worms?
LEELA: Yeah I remember I threw you out for it.
FRY: Dont remind me, but the what if machine showed that if I didnt
get rid of them, the next day my mind would have been taken over by them. Also
I posed it another question about what if I took you up with me and you saw the
love letter in the sky I wrote, that didnt work out either. It turns out
the doomsday device would just explode in a huge fireball and vaporize us spreading
those chromawatzits all over and cause time to skip way ahead to the apocalypse
LEELA: Wow I never thought of it like that Fry. Well in that case let me just
get the lights.
FRY: AHHHHH!!!! I REALLY LIKE IT!!!