Futurama

Fan Fiction

Baconated Grapefruit
By Rush

Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. All the PE staff sit watching TV showing the news with Linda and Morbo, while Bender builds a brick wall using cement to stick it together onto the wall using a trowel to even it out, and to pick up the cement in the pile of wet cement.

Morbo: [on TV] 'Morbo, will annihilate the Human race.

Linda: [on TV] 'No you won't, you're just a wannabe alien overlord.

Morbo: [shouting on TV] 'For that I will destroy you Linda … (in a lower sadder voice) Oh, you're right, I won't destroy you Linda and the Human race either.

Linda: [on TV] 'We sill love you Morbo.

Morbo: 'Morbo is happy.

Leela: 'Why are we watching this? This is hardly newsworthy.

Amy: 'Well Morbo, is a celebrity.

Farnsworth: 'No, that's not the reason Amy, it's because we're idiots, just like the Hypnotoad fans, under his hypnosis of which I am too.

Everyone: (zombie like) 'All glory to the Hypnotoad, which isn't on yet, that's why we're not watching it, even though we have all the DVDs and whatever the latest thing to watch it is.

Farnsworth: 'Anyhoo, Bender?

Bender: [A brick drops out from underneath him, which he picks up and puts on the wall.] 'Yeah?

Farnsworth: 'Why are you building a brick wall with literally your own crap Bender?

Bender: [hugging a few bricks in his arms.] 'Because I love my bricks!

Farnsworth: 'And I love my bricks too!

Scruffy: 'Second.

[There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of a U-J-Bender next to Bender. The PE staff are not even surprised and continue to watch TV.

U-J-Bender: 'Hey, I'm one of those U-J-Benders, aka Universe Jumping Benders, or in other words Universe Jumping Bending Units or U-J-Bending Units, or maybe even if I had a small beard like Flexo's, I'd be a U-J-Flexos or a Universe Jumping Flexos, and--

Bender: (shouting) 'Shut up, and go already! You made your pointless cameo!

U-J-Bender: 'Bye. [He disappears with a blinding flash of light.]

Bender: 'Man, that was annoying!

Morbo: [on TV.] 'Planet Express sucks!

[All the PE staff roar like Godzilla with their hands' in the air. All begin growing rapidly in size.

Cut to: Outside Planet Express. All the PE staff burst out from the PE building growing to about 500-feet tall.

Scene: New New York. The giant PE staff go around the city on a rampage, firing laser beams from their eyes at; people, buildings, hover cars etcetera, knocking over buildings (by kicking or bashing through them), crushing people like pancakes by stepping on them etcetera.

Cut to: Leela kicking random people high into the air as she walks down the street.

Cut to: Fry picking people and cars up and throwing them.

Cut to: Zoidberg picking people up and eating them in the streets.

Zoidberg: 'Nom nom nom! [He lifts his arms, then sprays his ink on people.]

Cut to: Bender drinking out of a huge bottle of beer, which he throws over his shoulder, then burps a huge load of flame setting many people in the street on fire.

Bender: 'Bender mad! [A brick drops out of him, the size of a car, which he picks up and throws at a skyscraper, which smashes through it knocking many other building below it and behind it.]

Cut to: Washington. Giant Nixon (head in jar) and Agnew go on a rampage in Washington. Agnew steps on people, and knocks buildings down growling "Rrrrrrr", while Nixon hops around crushing people and buildings howling "Aroo".

Cubert: (voice over) 'OK-OK, just stop it right there Rush.

Rush: 'Alright.

Cubert: 'How did all the Planet Express staff plus Nixon and Agnew turn into giants?

Rush: 'Yeah, I didn't come up with a raisin for that did I?

Cubert: 'Right, also why did they go around rampaging in New New York and Washington DC?

Rush: 'Because Morbo said "Planet Express sucks".

Cubert: 'That's still not a really good reason, not to mention they are all way out of character to go on a rampage. Also Nixon and Agnew had been given no reason what's so ever to turn into giants and rampage in Washington.

Rush: 'True, but this is one of those fan fiction that doesn't have to make sense.

Cubert: 'Alright, maybe.

Rush: 'Let us continue.

Cubert: 'No, just end it here.

Rush: 'Yeah, I can't think of anything else for this.

End

Buddies