Futurama

Fan Fiction

The Forgotten Tales Of U-J-Bender
By Rush

Scene: Planet Express: Kitchen. At night with the lights off, Zoidberg can be seen rummaging through the refrigerator eating the food within it.

Zoidberg: 'Nom nom nom! [There is a blinding flash of light and U-J-Bender appears.] Whaaaat?

U-J-Bender: 'Move out of the way you dirty sea prawn! [Bender pushes Zoidberg out of his way, he then takes a six-pack of Olde Fortran Malt Liquor out from the refrigerator, then he walks over to the kitchen table and takes a seat, then he pulls one beer out of the six-pack, then he takes the top off with a Calculon themed bottle opener, and begins drinking it.]

Zoidberg: 'Can I have a beer?

U-J-Bender: 'No.

Zoidberg: (sad) 'Aww!

[There is a blinding flash of light and U-J-Bender disappears along with the six-pack of beer as well with him.]

Zoidberg: 'Bender's not gonna be happy.


Scene: Planet Express: Meeting Room. All the PE staff sit around the conference table, Bender is leaned back in his seat with his foot cuffs on the table smoking a cigar.

Hermes: 'So on today's-- [There is a blinding flash of light and U-J-Bender appears beside Bender.] Oh great, another U-J-Bender. [U-J-Bender pulls Parallel Bender's cigar out of his mouth and begins smoking it himself. Parallel Bender stands up.]

Parallel Bender: (shouting) 'Hey! [He drives his fist towards U-J-Bender, who disappears with a blinding flash of light before he even hits him.] … that's mine.


Scene: Nothingness. In a plain featureless white background of existence with simply nothing in it, there is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of an U-J-Bender.

U-J-Bender: 'What? [He looks all around him just seeing nothing but white.] Is this a blank universe?

Man Calling: 'Hey? [U-J-Bender looks below him to see; Fry, Hawking, Gore, Nichols, Deep Blue and Gygax playing Dungeons & Dragons.]

U-J-Bender: 'Hello?

Gygax: 'Wanna join us in a game of Dungeons And Dragons for just only a few more trillion years till the universe reforms itself?

U-J-Bender: 'Nah, I'm not gonna be long here anyway. [There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Planet Express: Basement. Scruffy is lying on his bed reading a "Zero-G Juggs" magazine.]

Scruffy: 'Mmm, very hot. [There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender.] Huh? [U-J-Bender pulls the magazine out of his hands.] Hey! [There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.] Darn it, he took my porno!


Scene: Robot Arms Apartments. Fry's Bedroom. Fry and Bender make out on the bed, there is a blinding flash of light and U-J-Bender appears.

U-J-Bender: 'Ewwwwwwww! I'm gay and Fry's gay in this universe!

[There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Apartment 1I: Leela's Bedroom. Leela and Amy both naked make out in bed, there is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender.

Bender: 'Awww yeah, that's more like it! Can I join?

Leela: 'No.

Bender: 'Aww!

Amy: 'Besides, we already have someone. [Fry sticks his head out from under the blanket between the two.]

Bender: 'Fry, you lucky bastard. [There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Apartment 1I: Leela's Bedroom. Leela and the Robot Devil make out in bed. There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender.

U-J-Bender: 'An universe created by some annoying fan girl's imagination! Congratulations for going against canon!

[There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Apartment 1I: Leela's Bedroom. Leela and Bender make out in bed. There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender.

U-J-Bender: 'Another universe created by some annoying fan girl's imagination! Well done for going against canon!

Rush: 'Hey, you liked Leela and Amy?

U-J-Bender: 'Yeah, well. Shut up!

[There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Robot Arms Apartments. Fry's Bedroom. Fry and Zapp Brannigan make out on the bed, there is a blinding flash of light and U-J-Bender appears.

U-J-Bender: 'Yet another universe created by some annoying fan girl's imagination! Good job for going against canon!

Rush: 'Well, I guess it's the canon of that universe.

U-J-Bender: 'Damn you Fanfiction.net!

[There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. Hermes And Zoidberg make out sitting on the couch. There is a blinding flash of light and U-J-Bender appears.

U-J-Bender: 'OK, that's just weird.

[There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Apartment 1I: Leela's Bedroom. Leela and Zapp Brannigan make out in bed. There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender.

U-J-Bender: 'I just don't understand it.

[There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Nimbus: Bridge: Zapp and Kif make out. There is a blinding flash of light and U-J-Bender appears.

U-J-Bender: 'I don't even know, how that could happen.

[There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Apartment 1I: Leela's Bedroom. Farnsworth and Zoidberg both naked make out in bed. There is a blinding flash of light and U-J-Bender appears. Farnsworth with Leela's voice screams covering herself (himself) with the sheet and blanket.

Zoidberg (With Fry's voice) 'Hey, get out of here! Can't you see me and Leela are having sex for the first time ever, since we've known each other for about ten years!

Leela: 'That's right! Leave me and Fry alone!

Fry: 'Yeah!

U-J-Bender: 'That's quite along time to wait don't you think?

[There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]

The End

Slash lovers, don't take any offence (Just fooling around), I'm sure heterosexual Bender would react just like he did in this fan fiction, if he seen those alternate pairings.

Buddies