Fan Fiction

Impending Announcement
By Rush

Scene: Planet Express: Meeting Room. All the PE staff sit around the table talking to one another what's on TV and general. Scruffy is next to Fry reading a Zero-G Jugs magazine (A magazine with a Caucasian woman wearing a pink bra over her huge breasts on the cover.) and Hermes doing some paperwork sits next to Scruffy, Fry is holding a can of Slurm talking to Bender next to him who is smoking a cigar.

Fry: 'Did you see All My Circuits yesterday? It was great!

Bender: 'Yeah, that was a great episode yesterday.

Zoidburg: 'I'm sitting and having a conversation with friends.

Bender: 'Raise your hand if anyone of us is this guy's friend or having a conversation with him? [No one raises their hands.]

Zoidburg: (sad) 'Aww!

Bender: 'Anyway, [He puffs his cigar.] Calculon was--

Cut to: Over to Amy and Leela talking.

Amy: 'Did you see Everybody Loves Hypnotoad yesterday?

Leela: 'Amy, I told you before I don't watch that show.

Amy: 'Oh, you're one of those haters.

Leela: 'Did you watch the Sunday Blernsball game yesterday between the New New York Mets and versus the Pituitary Giants?

Amy: 'I don't watch Blernsball.

Cut back over to Fry and Bender.

Fry: 'Why did you come anyway, I thought you don't care about his inventions?

Bender [drinking out of a bottle of beer] 'Free beer. [Once finished with it he throws the bottle over his shoulder, then goes back to smoking his cigar.]

[Fry reads a text message from Leela saying: "Love you". Fry smiles at Leela on the other side of the table and she smiles back, he texts her back "Love you too". Over on the opposite side of the table Leela smiles.]

Farnsworth: 'Good news everyone! [He walks into the room with his hand raised high in the air.] I am about to show you my latest invention. [He takes a ray gun out from his pocket with a red baby soother tip.] The Boobs Enlarger! [Pointing at Leela.] And I'm gonna test it on you! [Leela ducks under the table.] Oh OK, Amy then.

Amy: 'Wait, what? [Farnsworth fires the Boobs Enlarger at Amy's chest, her breasts grow rapidly and become several times bigger, her shirt rips a bit.] (screaming) Ahhhhh, I've got bazongas! [All at once, Fry drops his can of Slurm in shock, Scruffy drops his Zero-G Jugs magazine in shock too, the fin on top of Zoidberg's head goes up, Bender eyes zoom in on Amy's chest along with his antenna going up, while everyone else just stares at Amy's chest, apart from Hermes still doing his paperwork and Leela with her arms crossed and her eye narrowed angrily.]

Leela: 'Men!

Amy: 'Can you change them back to their normal size?

All the men: (even Hermes ) 'Aww!

Farnsworth: (sad) 'Oh, alright. [He turns the dial on the Boobs Enlarger to “individual's original size”, then fire it on Amy restoring her breasts to their original size.] Do you think there would be a good consumer market for this invention.

Bender: 'Hell yeah!

Scruffy: 'Second!

[Leela stands up.]

Leela: 'No, I won't let you do it Professor! If a woman has "small breasts" and doesn't want them bigger is her right not to be discriminated or the other hand does want them bigger is her right too with the use of genetic engineering, for either can be loved.

Farnsworth: 'True. But what are you getting at?

Leela: 'The same goes for men. [The men look down nervously.] Either can be loved too, weather big or small by anyone and I'm am in love with one that has one that is small by today's standards with genetic engineering and all. [Fry looks relieved.]

Amy: 'It's the same with me with Kif. I still love him, despite his size.

Bender: 'Yeah, but did you ever hear the saying "the bigger the better"? [Everyone narrows their eyes at him.] What? Oh wait, yeah if two really hot women like yourselves can love Fry or Kif it proves anyone can love anyone despite one's physical physique.

Leela: 'Size doesn't matter.

The End