Fan Fiction

Nosy U-J-Bender
By Rush

Scene: Apartment 1I: Leela's Lounge. Fry sits on the couch, with Leela who sits on his lap and is making out with him.

Fry: 'Oh, I love you so much.

Leela: 'I love you so much too. [There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender.] What the hell?

Fry: 'Who are you?

U-J-Bender: 'Bender is the name, but I got a case of the U-J-Bender.

Leela: 'So you're some sort of multiverse travelling Bender?

U-J-Bender: 'Yes. [He takes a video camera out of his chest cabinet.] I was wondering if I could make a porno of you two with this video video camera, then upload the footage on the Internets of other universes, so the people could see it from those universes, as I travel from one universe to the next, so what do you say?

Leela: 'No!

U-J-Bender: (sadly) 'Awwwwww! (hopefully) Can I watch though?

Leela: 'No!

U-J-Bender: (sadly) 'Awwwww! Can I ask you how you two got together?

Fry: 'Sure.

Leela: 'OK. Well, I just found out about Fry's love message in the stars he made for me during the Time Skips a few weeks ago by looking through some CCTV footage on the Planet Express Ship, which must have been the reason I was married to him, so I'm naturally flattered.

U-J-Bender: 'Good to know. Can I make a porno of you two and---

Leela: 'No. Please leave.

U-J-Bender: 'Awww. [He walks out the door.]

Cut To: Robot Arms Apartments. U-J-Bender knocks on Bender's door. Within a few seconds, Bender answers.

Bender: 'What the hell do you want?

U-J-Bender: (sadly) 'Fry and Leela wouldn’t let me make a porno of them with this video camera.

Bender: 'What?! It's outrageous isn't it? I remember when I asked them could I make a porno of you two and upload it on the Internet and they said “No”. And every time I tried to sneak in there and make a porno of the two while they were at it, Leela would always find out about me and then delete the footage and break my video camera.

U-J-Bender: 'Damn jerks.

Bender: 'Come on inside.

Cut To: Fry's And Bender's: Lounge. U-J-Bender and Bender sit on the couch.

U-J-Bender: 'And then when I asked them "Can I watch though?" Leela said no.

Bender: 'Awww, they said the same thing to me when I asked them: "Can I watch?".

U-J-Bender: 'I know it's ridiculous. [There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]

Bender: 'Well, that was meaningful conversation while it lasted.

The End