Fan Fiction

Questions In Space
By Rush

Scene: Space. The Planet Express Ship flies past Pluto going deeper into the Solar System.

Cut to: PE Ship: Cockpit. Leela is sat in the driver seat, Fry sat at the co-ordinates controls, and Bender drinking out from a bottle of Smirnoff is sat at the autopilot.

Bender: 'Hey Leela, why do you have only one eye?

Leela: 'Because I'm a mutant. Now if ask me another question about my eye, I'll start throwing buckets of salt water on your shiny metal ass!

Bender: (scared) 'But over time of you throwing buckets of salt water on my shiny metal ass, would make it become a rusty metal ass?!

Leela: 'Well then don't ask questions about my eye.

Bender: 'OK.

[There is a brief silence.]

Fry: 'Leela?

Leela: 'Yes?

Fry: 'Why do we always have to take the longer alternate routes in space rather than the short ones?

Bender: (mockingly) 'Oh here we go with Leela's unnecessary long sentences to explain why.

Leela: 'Shut up Bender! Anyway Fry it's because space is a dangerous place.

Bender: 'Duhhh!

Fry: 'Oh. How dangerous?

Leela: 'Well it's full of black-holes that suck up your ship and destroy you and your ship. Not to mention many places in space are rogue sectors.

Bender: 'Rogue sectors are cool places!

Fry: 'Rogue sectors?

Leela: 'Usually areas in the universe outside the DOOP, where there is no laws at all, or even any real government at all.

Fry: 'Hmm, yes?

Leela: 'Most of those places tend to have an on going interstellar war between galaxies or a galactic war within one galaxy itself, and these place tend to be full of; not so friendly hostile Aliens, Space Gangs, Cannibals, Alien Warlords, Cultists, Slavers, Organ Harvesters, Space Pirates, and Mercenaries Thuds that would attack you on sight.

Fry: 'Yeah, that does sound a little dangerous.

[There is a brief silence.]

Bender: 'Wanan play I Spy?

Fry: 'Sure.

Leela: 'Yeah OK.

Bender: 'Alright, I spy with my little eye something beginning with U?

Leela: 'Urectum?

Bender: 'You got it!

Leela: 'OK, I spy with my one big eye something beginning with A.

Bender: 'Ass?

Leela: 'Yep.

Fry: 'Awww!

Bender: 'Alright my go again, I spy with my little eye something beginning with---

The End

Scene: We see Terry eating a Terry's Chocolate Orange while walking into Applied Cryogenics. But then all of a sudden, there's a blinding flash of light followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender, who pushes Terry knocking him over onto the ground.

Terry: 'Hey! [U-J-Bender steals Terry's "Terry's Chocolate Orange".]

U-J-Bender: 'It's not Terry's, it's mine! [He disappears with a blinding flash of light.]

Terry: 'My Terry's Chocolate Orange wasn't safe enough. How safe is yours?