Futurama

Fan Fiction

The Robot In Red
By Rush

Opening caption: Robot Santa Sees All.


Scene: Santa's Death Fortress. Robot Santa sits in a chair at an enormous screen. He laughs maniacally holding his list and his feather pen.]

Robot Santa: 'Let's see who's been naughty, and who's been naughty! [He pushes a button on his chair to show on the big screen Leela at the gym wearing her light blue sweat band over her head and her black gym gear is punchings a boxing bag.

Robot Santa: 'Um, nothing naughty here. [They kicks the punchings bag, bursting it, other people in the gym clap and applaud, some of which hooting.]

Robot Santa: [writing on his list.] 'Inappropriate hooting, naughty!

Man Off Screen #1: 'She's burst another one this time by kicking it.

Man Off Screen #2: 'This time burst it with you're fist punchings it like you did the first time.

Leela: 'I'm not here for your entertainment, I'm here just for my every second day exercise.

Man Off Screen #1: 'Right, I'll get you another punchings bag.

Leela: 'I'll get it myself.

Robot Santa: 'Ahh, likely nothing more is going to happen here. [He pushes a button on his chair to show Bender walking down the street in New New York city, who then suddenly stops in his tracks.]

Bender: 'My robo sense is tingling. It's you isn't Robot Santa?! Well, you can [He turns around mooning Robot Santa pointing to his crotch plate. ] bite my shiny metal ass!

Robot Santa: 'Inappropriate mooning, and bad language, naughty! [He writes on his list.] Let's see what Scruffy is up to. [He presses a button to see Scruffy down in the basement sitting on his bed staring blankly.] Come on do something! [Scruffy takes a "Zero-G Juggs" magazine out from under his bed, which he starts to read.] Reading dirty magazine, naughty! [He writes on his list. He presses a button to see Farnsworth fast asleep on his white hover arm chair, unsatisfied with this he presses the button again to see Bender stealing (shop lifting) alcoholic beverages in a deserted 7/11 shop, but Bender is unaware Smitty the police officer is standing behind him holding a laser pistol out.

Smitty: 'Freeze, scuzzbot!

[Bender takes a box of doughnuts out from his chest cabinet, and turns around to face Smitty.]

Bender: 'How about we forget this whole thing happened and you enjoy these doughnuts? [Smitty points at the box]

Smitty: (excited) 'Oh, those are the rare limited edition ones! You got yourself a deal! [Bender hands Smitty the box of doughnuts, and he walks out eating them.]

Robot Santa: 'Police Officer Smitty caught Bender stealing, and accepts bribery of doughnuts, how cheesy is that? Naughty! [He writes on his list, he pushes a button on his chair to show Hattie walking along a path in New New York Central Park, there is a blinding flash of light behind Hattie followed by the appearance of a Bending Unit.

Bending Unit: 'Yoink! [He steals her purse.]

Hattie: 'Hey, that's [U-J-Bender disappears with a blinding flash of light] ... mine.

Robot Santa: 'An U-J-Bender? How the hell I'm gonna get him? Anyway very naughty! [He writes on his list.]

To be continued. If I come up with more stuff I'll extend it. And you know what I'll let you (anyone) even extend it.

Buddies