Fan Fiction

Shiny Metal Trip
By Rush

Scene: Digital Clock Tower. The clock on the building shows it's 12.30 AM at night, in the background there are traffic jams in the sky of hover cars.

Cut to: Outside Robot Arms Apartments. In the Tube Transport System there's the huge Bisque Fat Guy from "A Flight to Remember" blocking a tube with dozens of people stuck behind him. A hover firetruck flies it's way towards the tube with it's firemen getting out of the vehicle holding laser saws.

Scene: Robot Arms Apartments: Fry and Bender's Lounge. Bender sits to the left side of the couch drinking out of a bottle of Jack Daniels watching Everybody Loves Hypnotoad. Fry wearing his usual clothes is sitting on the left side of the couch fast asleep.

Bender: (thinking) 'Hmm, [He puts down his Jack Daniels on the floor.] I gotta try out that robot drug virus on that USB stick that hooded robot gave me for fifty dollars. [He takes a red USB stick out from his chest cabinet.] Everybody Loves Hypnotoad is gonna be all the better when I'm stoned. [He inserts the USB stick into the back of his head, then pulls it back out again placing it inside his chest cabinet.] Hmmm, nothing's happening I don't feel any diffident and... Wait! I got six fingers. [He looks at his hands to see he's got six fingers on each hand.] (shouting) And Fry's got five! (screaming) Ahaahahahahahah!

[Fry wakes up with a start jumping to his feet.]

Fry: 'What's happening?! [Bender stands up and backs slowly away from Fry towards the window]

Bender: (panicking) 'You've got five fingers! [Bender's eye pupils have become twice as big.]

Fry: 'No, I got four 3 fingers and one thumb in each hand just like every other Human.

Bender: 'But you got a small pinky finger!

Fry: 'No I don't! Only those weird looking Anime alternate versions of ourselves from that parallel universe we been to, have this so called pinky finger!

[Bender sight. The room looks blurry in Bender's eyes, and Fry is a red fiery demon with horns.]

Fry: 'Bender relax and... (shouting deep demon voice) I will eat you mortal! [Bender backs away further screaming.] (Fry's voice) Bender, just run the anti virus and... (demon voice) Die mortal and be my dinner!

Bender: (shouting) 'Nooo, stay away from me Dremora! [He looks at the TV to see the Hypnotoad replaced with a menacing fiery number 2.] (screaming) Ahahahahahahah! [Bender runs through the wall on the right into next door to see Flexo and Angleyne in bed together with the blankets covering them.] (calmly) Flexo, Angleyne?

Flexo: 'Yeah?

Bender: 'You live next door to me? [Fry comes through the gap in the wall. (shouting) Get away from me demon! [Bender runs through wall after wall with Fry chasing him.]

Fry: (shouting) 'Bender stop! It isn't real, you're just stoned and... (demon voice) Stop! Be my dinner! [Bender bursts through someone's apartment door out into the corridor, with Fry chasing him.] Stop! [Bender bursts through the front door to his apartment, followed by Fry running after him.] (shouting very loudly) Bender, don't! [Bender jumps through the window smashing it.]

Cut to: Outside Robot Arms. Bender falls down the building, luckily landing on the back of a hover taxi flying in the air.

Bender: (shouting) 'Phew, I got away from that demon! [The hover taxi flies down into the streets below taking a left turn around a corner.]

Cut to: Taxi. Bender jumps off the taxi onto the street below landing face first onto a pavement.

Bender: 'Ow! That hurt slightly. [He stands up and looks around to see colorful ponies with big eyes running down the street, pink elephants with wings flying above them, and a light blue cat with a pink pop-tart's body with a rainbow coming out from behind it flies above Bender.] Whoa!

[What's really happening. There is no one in the street but Bender.

[What Bender sees: He still sees the ponies running down the street with the pink elephants flying above them.]

Bender: 'Good bye ponies and elephants! [He walks into a shiny sparkly enchanted mixture of Pine Tree and Oak Tree forest filled with rainbows, containing small flying fairies, giant lollipops in all different colors, and also many tiny Leprechauns run around the forest.]

[What's really happening. Bender wonders into a long dark alleyway.]

Cut to: Alleyway. As Bender walks down the alleyway he stops looking in horror.

Bender: 'Nooo... oh your God no! [What Bender sees: Justin Bieber singing "Baby" on stage with his fan girls screaming at him.] (shouting) Make it stop! [Suddenly something bashes it's way through the back of the stage, when the dust settles it reveals there's a Tyrannosaurus Rex, who roars at Justin Bieber, then jumps towards him, then devours him swallowing him whole, followed by the T-Tex making a loud burp.] Yay! Take that Justin Beaver! [The T-Rex charges off the stage eating Justin Bieber's fan girls and firing laser beams from his eyes at them turning them to dust.] Hah! That's what you get for listening to bad music!

[What's really happening. Bender laughing like a maniac walking around in circles waving his arm wildly in the middle of the alleyway.]

Bender: (deeply) 'Whoaaaa mannnnn, this is so much fun! (rambling nonsense) Yeeee yah, errrrhhhhhhh, woooooooooo, ahaaahahahah, bah bah, bang bang, ahahahhahahha, moooo, errrrhhhhhhh, yeeee wooooooooo, moooo, bang bang, boo boo, uhhhhhhhhhhh, ahahahhahaha, woo woo bang, bangy bang bang, woooo, yeeee yahhhh, woooo, bah bah, bang bang--- [Coming to his senses he stops and starts to walk out from the alleyway.] (normally) I gotta stop that.

Cut to: City Street. Bender runs out from the alleyway into a busy city street filled people shopping, he deliberately runs into people knocking them over cheering with his hands in the air.

Bender: (shouting) 'Wooooo, I'm a bowling ball!

[What Bender sees, he thinks he's a bowling ball and the people in the street are bowling pins. People shout at him saying such things as; "What the hell?!", "Oh my God!", "Hey watch it!", "How rude!", What the hell are doing? You knocked me over!", "Jesus Christ he's crazy", "Somebody stop him!", "You wanna try stop and fight a 525 pounds robot?, "He's Unstoppable!", "Whoa not cool man, you knocked over an old lady!".

Cut to: Robot Arms Apartments: Fry and Bender's Lounge. Fry scratching the back of his head nervously talks to the two police officers URL and Smitty, who holds a note pad writing with a pen.

Fry: (finishing a sentence) '….and he jumped out the window landing on a taxi.

URL: 'Lucky bastard!

Smitty: 'We'll go look for him. [He puts his note pad and pen back in his pocket.]

Cut to: New New York: Outside Leela's Apartment. Bender wonders down the street laughing like a maniac, some passers by give him weird looks.

Bender: (deeply) 'Mannnn..... this is so.... so cooooool! [He gasps in horror.]

[What Bender sees: Dozens of flying flaming number twos closing in on him. Bender screams making a run for it.]

Bender: (shouting) 'Go away! Leave me alone!

[What's really happening. Bender is running away from nothing. Bender bursts through the front door of Leela's apartment, then bursts the wall on the opposite side of the building into the street behind Leela's apartment.]

Cut to: Leela's Bedroom. Leela wearing light blue pyjamas is looking out the window seeing Bender run around in circles waving his arms wildly laughing like a maniac.

Leela: 'Oh lord! He's stoned.... yet again!

[Pan over to Bender looking at Leela at the window. What stoned Bender sees Leela wearing nothing but a pink thong underwear and a small bra for her "Girls" which seem twice as big.]

Bender: (sexfully) 'Damn Leela, when did you get even hotter?! How about you dump Fry and let good ole Bender get bendy with you?!

[What really happening. Leela in reality doesn't look any different, still wearing her light blue pyjamas, and Leela's eye is narrowed angrily at Bender. She pulls down the window's blinds.]

Bender: (sadly) 'Awwwwwww! [He walks off dejected looking sadly down at his foot cuffs.]

Cut to: Space. Bender now a massive giant flies out to space from Earth.

Bender: 'Wooo I'm a giant! [He fires laser beams from his eyes destroying Earth.] Cool! [The Nimbus flies towards Bender firing lasers at him making him giggle.] He he he, ha ha ha ha! Stop that, that tickles. [He grabs the Nimbus.] Yum yum yum! [He eats the ship.] (enjoying food) Om nom nom! [Bender grows to about ten times bigger than Earth was.] Whoa! [He grabs the moon, and eats it.] Om nom nom! [He becomes even bigger, then flies towards Venus.] Oh this looks nice. [He eats Venus.] Om nom nom! [Bender's whole body goes steaming red.] (shouting) Hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot-- [He quickly flies over to the moon of Jupiter: Europa, and eats it.] Awww, that's better. [He is no longer steaming red.] Mmmm! [He starts eating Jupiter taking bites out from the planet.] Mmm taste like strawberries! (enjoying the food) Nom nom nom nom nom nom! [Bender has now eaten the whole planet making him ten times bigger than Jupiter was.] Whoa! [He flies over to Saturn, and eats the entire planet whole.] Eurgh, that's wasn't very nice, it tasted like Pine Needles. [He flies over to Urectum, then eats the planet whole too.] Ewwww, this tastes like ass! [Bender's whole body explodes, the explosion as a sphere of explosions expanding at a rapid rate from where it once was.]

Cut to: Neptune. A wall of explosions come past it vaporizing it. The explosions continue to expand until the galaxies, space itself and the entire universe is destroyed till all that is left is; plain white emptiness.

[Back to reality. Bender is rolling around in a dumpster in an alleyway laughing like a maniac. He suddenly closes his eyes falling asleep.]

[Time Lapse.]

[Bender wakes up in the morning using his hands to block out the sun shining down on him, his eye pupils are back to their normal size.]

Bender: 'Ahhh, stupid sun. [He sits up, and then jumps out from the dumpster.] (thinking) Whatever damage I caused, those few million dollars I stole from Amy's parents should cover it. Now it's time for this robot to go off to work. (thinking) And I think I might need a shower.

The End

Bender: (voice over) Remember kids don't do drugs... Unless you don't wanna be cool like me, then do drugs to be cool like me! How that's for an amoral message?!