Scene: Planet Express Ship: Fry's And Bender's Cabin. Bender on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed is snoring loudly, with huge piles of empty beer bottles on his bed, while Fry twists and turns groaning on the top bunk.
Fry: (thinking) 'Can he stop snoring?!
Bender: (singing in his sleep.) 'Bender is great, oh Bender is great, Bender is great, oh Bender is great---
Fry: 'That's it, I'm leaving! [He lifts the blanket off himself to reveal he's wearing white under pants, then climbs down the ladder of the bunk bed, picks up his pants off the floor, putting them on, then picks up his white t-shirt on the floor as well, putting it on, then leaves the room.]
Cut To: Cargo Bay. Fry walks out of the crew's cabin. Then makes his way to the top of the Cargo Bay towards the Cockpit.
Cut to: Cockpit. Leela sits at the wheel driving the ship, the door opens behind her, followed by Fry walking in.
Leela: [briefly looking at him] 'Hey Fry.
Fry: 'Hey Leela. [He walks over to the couch and lies down on it.]
Leela: (thinking) 'Bet he couldn’t sleep. I can hear Bender's snoring from here.
Fry: 'Hey Leela?
Fry: 'How long till we get to Earth?
Leela: 'About six hours.
[Fry looks out the window seeing them pass galaxy upon galaxy as they travel in dark space.]
Fry: 'Just wow, I never thought, I'd see such sights, without watching the sci-fi channel back in my time.
Leela: 'Yeah, I like science fiction too. It's fun to watch very old sci-fi movies, before we had proper space travel like Star War and whatnot, to see what people thought the future would look like. A lot of them were close in their speculation.
Fry: 'Indeed they were. [Fry yawns.] I'm tired Leela. [He closes his eyes.] I'll talk to you later.
Leela: 'Fry wait.
Leela: 'I want to tell you something.
Fry: (thinking) 'Could she mean--
Leela: 'That your the best friend, I ever had. [Fry sits up and turns around to look at Leela.]
Fry: (thinking) 'Aww... Wait, best friend? There is hope. (talking) And you're the best friend I ever had too. [Leela smiles.] I also love you with all my heart Leela, and I won't ever change my love for you, even if I can never be with you.
Leela: 'Fry I-- [Leela presses a blue button which says autopilot, she then sits down beside Fry, taking hold of his hands.] (softly) You're wrong Fry, I too love you. [Fry body shakes, tears begin to roll down his face.]
Fry: (crying)' I-I-- [Leela hugs him tightly, letting him cry on her shoulder.]
Fry: (crying) 'This can't be real, this is just another one of those dreams, where you Leela fall in love with me. I'm asleep on the couch, I'm only dreaming this!
Leela: 'Fry, this is real. And I'll prove it. [She kisses him briefly on the lips.] See?
Fry: 'Yeah, this is very realistic for a dream. Wait, it is real, I didn't get to sleep!
Fry: 'I love you.
Leela: 'I love you too. [Just when they are about to kiss, there is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender in front of them.] What the hell?
U-J-Bender: 'Oh it's just the same old bullcrap! You too fall in love and blah blah blah!
Leela: 'What do you want?!
U-J-Bender: 'You two not to get together!
Leela: 'What?! Screw you! It's none of your business. If I want to finally return the love Fry has for me, I will!
U-J-Bender: 'But it's the same old thing. Do you know how many universes I've been to, and I've seen the same thing happen? (mockingly) Oh Leela I love you, oh Fry I love you too, let's get married and have babies and blah blah blah. (shouting) Give us anti shippers a break!
Leela: 'What the hell are you talking about?
U-J-Bender: 'You two falling in love ruins the drama!
Fry: 'OK, what?
U-J-Bender: 'But then again, this isn't the TV show Futurama, it's just some weird creepy fan fiction based on it written by some guy who needs to outlet their sexual frustrations and whatever else, and who hasn't moved out of their parents home yet and maybe never will, and has way to much time on the their hands.
[Fry and Leela exchange looks.]
Fry And Leela: 'What?
U-J-Bender: 'Yeah, I guess I can let you two be together.
Leela: 'Damn right!
U-J-Bender: 'And one more thing.
Fry And Leela: 'What?
U-J-Bender: 'You suck! [There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]
Leela: 'Hmm, so now there's a multiverse travelling Bender, who hates us two getting together in different universes?
Fry: 'Yeah, it seems so. You not gonna act on what he said are you?
Leela: 'Oh, of course not. [She pulls him into a passionate French kiss. There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender in front of them. They stop making out and look at U-J-Bender.]
U-J-Bender: 'Can I watch?
U-J-Bender: (sad) 'Awwwwww! (hopefully.) But can I make a porno of you two, and upload it on the Internets of other universes as I travel from one universe to the next?
Leela: (shouting) 'No!
U-J-Bender: (sad) 'Awwwwww, you're mean! [He runs off crying out the door into the Cargo Bay.]
Cut to: Cargo Bay. U-J-Bender meets Bender half way through the Cargo Bay.
Bender: 'Who the hell are you?
U-J-Bender: 'I'm U-J-Bender.
Bender: 'U what?
U-J-Bender: 'Universe Jumping Bender.
Bender: 'So you're some sort of multiverse travelling cheap copy of me?!
U-J-Bender: 'Hey! [He punches him.]
Bender: 'Ow! [Bender dives on U-J-Bender, they both fight on the floor rolling back and forth punching one another.]
Bender: #1 'You're the cheap copy of me.
Bender: #2 'No you are!
[Time Lapse. Fry and Leela walk into the Cargo Bay, to see the two Benders lying on floor with many dents on their bodies, both with five o'clock rust.]
Leela: 'You guys have been fighting for six hours? We're back on Earth already.
Bender: #1 'I still think you're the cheap copy of me.
Bender: #2 'No you are! Man, I have been in this universe for awhile. [He opens his chest cabinet, taking out a bottle of Jack Daniels, which he pours into his mouth. There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]
Bender: 'Stupid U-J-Benders.... (shouting) Quit standing around and get me some booze already!
Leela: 'Alright, hold on a second. [Fry and Leela leave the Cargo Bay. And return within a minute, Leela holds a bottle of Jack Daniels, which she hands to Bender, who begins gulping it down.] Happy now?
Bender: 'Yeah. [He stands up, and the leave the Cargo Bay with them.]
Cubert: 'Oh what a cheesy fake and gay, lame ass fan fiction, you suck and have no life, and should go kill yourself!
Rush: 'Are you an Internet Troll?
Cubert: (sadly) 'Yeah.