Futurama

Fan Fiction

Three Logical Flaws
By Rush

Scene: Outside Planet Express. The building shutter go down as Robot Santa flies around it in his sled. In the background out at sea a Bending Unit can be seen flying down from the sky.

Robot Santa: 'God rest ye, merry gentlemen... [He pulls up a M60 Machine Gun.] in peace! [Robot Santa fires the M60 Machine Gun which shoots lasers.]

Cut to: PE Attic. The armour-plated chimney cover is made from Diamondium.

Fry: 'Are we gonna die?! [There is a loud crashing sound of metal banging.]

Robot Santa: 'Ow! Stupid Diamondium armour-plated chimney! [The PE staff cheer.]

Cut to: Outside Planet Express. Robot Santa flies away from Planet Express continuing his rampage across the city elsewhere.

Cut to: Out to Sea. There is bubbling and a Bending Unit submerges.

Bending Unit: 'Holy crap, it's cold! Why did I have to pop in an universe at this time of year? [There is a blinding flash of light followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Mombil Gas Station. The Planet Express ship lands there.

[Cut to: Shot of service station, where the crew is hoping to get oil.]

Hoschel: 'I got me some whale oil, some squirrel oil, fish oil--

Bender: 'Not kosher! It has to be petroleum oil! Do you not give a damn about the hallowed traditions of Robanukah?!

Hoschel: 'I reckon I do not. Anyways, Earth done run out of petroleum oil.

Amy: 'Can't you just buy some petroleum oil from other Earth like planet human colonies?

Leela: 'Like what I said on the way over here.

Bender: 'But I rarely listen to you [Leela crosses her arms.], but yeah thanks Amy. You know I never thought of that, sometimes I forget we have an intergalactic civilization. [There is a blinding flash of light followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender.] What the hell! [There is a blinding flash of light followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.] (scared) Was that a robot ghost?

Farnsworth: 'No, it was an Universe Jumping Bender.


Scene: Petunia's Self-Serve Bee Farm. Mine your own beeswax. They PE crew stand before Petunia.

Petunia: 'Well, that's too darn bad. There ain't no beeswax in the whole world.

Leela: 'But surely not all bees are affected, what about those bees us Humans brought to Mars to help terraform the planet, not to mention the bees we brought to other worlds throughout the entire universe to help us terraform and colonize new planets?

Petunia: 'Well yeah.

Hermes: 'Will beeswax from other planets do LaBarbara?

LaBarbara: 'Yeah, they'll do fine. [There is a blinding flash of light followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender.]

Bender: 'Oh, get lost U-J-Bender! [There is a blinding flash of light followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.] Oh and your a nerd Leela!

Fry: 'A sexy nerd. [Leela wraps her arm around him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.]

Leela: 'You know I just thought I'd remind all of the fact we live in an intergalactic civilization.

The End

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