Futurama

Fan Fiction

Lost Adventures of U-J-Bender II
By Rush

Author note: Google Translate will be useful for translating different languages to English. By copying and pasting it into it.

Scene: Nuremberg Rally. Adolf Hitler behind a speech stand with a microphone is making an inspiring speech to his soldiers.]

Hitler: 'Betrachten Sie meinen Schnurrbart! [His soldiers cheer. There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of an U-J-Bender next to Hitler. The soldiers gasp.]

Nazi Soldier #1: (somewhere within crowd shouting) 'Ein Roboter aus der Zukunft?!

Nazi Soldier #2: (somewhere within crowd shouting) 'Zeitreisen ist möglich!

U-J-Bender: (thinking) 'Oh crap Nazis, gotta be careful here. (talking) I come in peace! [He craps a brick.]

Nazi Soldier #3: (somewhere within crowd shouting) 'Es geschissen ein Backstein!

Hitler: 'Will you fight along side us?

[Bender picking up his brick.]

Bender: 'No! [He throws his brick at Hitler, hitting him on the head, knocking him over onto the ground, a puddle of blood begins to form underneath him.] Take that Hitler! [The soldiers gasp.]

Nazi Soldier #4: (somewhere within crowd shouting) 'Er tötete den Führer!

[U-J-Bender disappears with a blinding flash of light, followed by many bullets being fired from the soldiers at where he was standing.]


Scene: Ford's Theatre. Abraham Lincoln sits next to his wife Mary Todd Lincoln, next to her sits Clara Harris and her father sits next to her Henry Rathbone, who all watch the play below up a balcony. John Wilkes Booth comes from behind Abraham Lincoln with a pistol.

Henry Rathbone: [shouting at pointing at John Wilkes Booth ] 'Noooo! [Just when John Wilkes Booth was about to pull the trigger, there is a blinding flash of light above him, followed by the appearance of an U-J-Bender landing on top of him, knocking him to the ground causing him to losse his grip on the gun, which falls onto the floor.] You saved the president!

[Bender stands up, picks up John Wilkes Booth and bends his back right over backwards. (there was a bone breaking sound as he bent his back).]

Bender: 'I'm the bad kind of chiropractor. [There is a blinding flash of light followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. Zoidberg walks through the lounge. There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of an U-J-Bender holding a red lightsaber in his right hand, which he uses to cut Zoidberg's right arm off.

Zoidberg: 'Ow! [U-J-Bender cuts Zoidberg's left arm off.] Ow! [U-J-Bender cuts Zoidberg's left leg off, he hops on one leg to remind balance.] Ow! [U-J-Bender cuts Zoidberg's right leg off, causing him to fall over onto his back.] Ow! So you cut all my legs and arms off with a lightsaber. Big deal! They'll be fully grown back within a few weeks, that or I'll have someone reattach them. [U-J-Bender cuts Zoidberg's head off.] Ow! Eh, I'll just get it reattached.

U-J-Bender: 'Why won't you die?!

Zoidberg: 'Maybe if you cut my head into pieces? [There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of another U-J-Bender holding a brick in his left hand behind the U-J-Bender with a lightsaber.]

U-J-Bender #2: 'U-J-Bender to the rescue! [He throws his brick, hitting U-J-Bender #1 on the back of head, knocking him to the ground causing him to drop his lightsaber. Which U-J-Bender #2 picks up and slices U-J-Bender #1 to pieces with it.] My job here is done! [There is a blinding flash of light followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Dallas : Dealey Plaza. Crowds of people are gathered on either side of the road as the presidential limousine drives slowly down the road, John F Kennedy Jr in the limousine can be seen waving to people.

Cut to: A high window of the Texas School Book Depository where Lee Harvey Oswald is taking aim with a sniper rifle. There is a blinding flash of light behind him, followed by the appearence of an U-J-Bender holding a red brick in his right hand.

U-J-Bender: 'Drop the gun. [Lee Harvey Oswald drops the gun onto the floor.] Put your hands up. [Lee Harvey Oswald puts his hands up.] Now turn around. [Lee Harvey Oswald turns around to briefly see a Bending Unit, who throws a brick at him, which hits him on the forehead knocking him out the window.] Take that you bastard! [There is a blinding flash of light followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Apartment 1I : Leela's Bedroom. Leela is making out with Fry on top of him on her bed. There is a blinding flash of light followed by the appearance of an U-J-Bender next to a drawer near the bed, Fry and Leela stop making out and look at Bender in shock.

Fry: 'Bender, did you just teleport in here?

U-J-Bender: 'Sort of, I'm an Universe Jumping Bender after all.

Leela: 'Would you mind leaving?

U-J-Bender: 'Aww, can I not watch, or make a porno video of you too for me to upload onto the Internet?

Leela: 'No, get out! [There is a blinding flash of light followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.] (sexfully) Now, where were we. [She begins to take her tank-top off.]


Scene: Planet Express: Meeting Room. All the PE staff sit around the conference table having a meeting.

Hermes: 'So on today’s-- [There is a blinding flash of light above at the ceiling, followed by the appearance of an U-J-Bender in mid air who falls onto the conference landing on his back.]

U-J-Bender: 'Ow!

Hermes: 'Can't you see we're in the middle of a meeting?

U-J-Bender: 'Just thought I'd drop in. [There is a blinding flash of light followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Apartment 1I : Leela's Lounge. Fry and Leela sit facing each other both teary eye with their arms wraped around each other.

Leela: (crying) 'Fry, I've been a fool. [She pushes herself over Fry lying herself on top of him.] I love you.

Fry: (crying) 'Yes! Leela, you finally said it!

Leela: (crying) 'You love me too, don't you?

Fry: (crying) 'I've always loved you Leela.

Leela: (crying) 'Oh, Fry! [Just when Fry and Leela were about to kiss. There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of an U-J-Bender standing over them, his eyes zoom in on the two.]

Fry: 'What the? [Fry and Leela stand up.] He just appeared out of nowhere.

Leela: 'I think he's an U-J-Bender.

Fry: 'Oh..What's an U-J-Bender?

Leela: 'I'll tell you after.

U-J-Bender: 'Sorry to interrupt your romantic moment, but can I watch?

Leela: 'No, get out!

U-J-Bender: 'Awww come on!

Leela: (shouting) 'Get out!

Fry: 'Yeah, no-one's gonna mess with our time together ... this time. By the way, let's be careful about this, I don't wanna get you pregnant.

Leela: (softly) 'I know, I'll take a pill. (normally) Now, U-J-Bender will you please get out of here already? Before I kick you're shiny metal ass.

U-J-Bender: 'Fine! [He walks out the door. Fry and Leela sit back down, then kiss passionately.]

[Scene: Leela's Apartment Hallway: U-J-Bender exits Leela's apartment, and closes the door after him, then proceeds to walk down the flight of stairs.]

Cut to: New New York City Street: Outside Leela's Apartment. Just when U-J-Bender. opens the door and steps outside, there is a blinding flash of light followed by the disappearance of U-J-Bender.]


Scene: Ourside O'Zorgnax's Pub. There is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender, a brick drops out of him, which he picks up, and throws through the window of O'Zorgnax's Pub smashing it.

U-J-Bender: 'Take that! [U-J-Bender disappears with a blinding flash of light.]


Scene: Dublin City: O'Connell Street. The city looks far different than a thousand years, with hover cars flying in the air, and a series of futuristic looking buildings and skyscrapers. At the monument of light (the spire) there is a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender before the spire. People don't look shocked and go about this business, some of which mutter things like "Ah, another U-J-Bender" or "Not again".

U-J-Bender: 'Wow, that's one big freakishly large antenna! [U-J-Bender disappears with a blinding flash of light.]

To be continued

Buddies