Futurama

Fan Fiction

Bending Wars, part 1
By Rush

Warning: Extreme violence ahead and messed up stuff.


Narrator: In an age of unbent times there will be bending.

Scene: Mountain Land. It's dark with only blue light twilight like light, there's heavy show and howling winds making up a blizzard. Up high on one of the peaks of the mountains, four blinding flashes of light after-which there's the appearance of four bending units. Each with huge backpacks on their backs with all sorts of various equipment hanging out of them and wearing leathery big tick winter coats, all but one the forth one being about 5 foot tall, who wears a black hooded cloak hiding his face and covering his whole body. Also he has no backpack nor any showing equipment hanging off him.

Bending Unit #1: (speaking in a stereotype Irish accent) 'Are you sure about this time in history Anglery O'Twisterkin, my king?

[Bending Unit #1 wears a coat like the rest but is colored light green, he is the shortest of the four being about 4 foot tall.]

Anglery O'Twisterkin: (speaking in a stereotype posh English accent) 'Yes I am General O'Spoon-ish'O O'Lean-ish'O O'Fork-ish'O. And while we're here, there's to be no cheating we can only use Medieval like Technology or the Technology that Humans have in the timeline currently, got it? [They all nod.] For if you are caught cheating U-J-Benders assassins will come out of nowhere with a blinding flashes of light and kill you for they are always watching us.

[Anglery O'Twisterkin being about six foot tall wearing a golden crown encrusted with jewels and a light blue coat.]

O'Spoon-ish'O O'Lean-ish'O O'Fork-ish'O: 'Right, my king.

Bending Unit #2: (shivering/ speaking literally like someone putting-on a extreme back throat sounding deep powerful voice) 'Brrr! I'm freezing my colossal ass off in this weather! What is this the Ice Age, my king?!

[Bending Unit #2 has a tick mass of an overall robot muscley body; being about 20 feet tall and 15 feet wide, his foot-cuffs are the massive size of average cars/ hands are the huge size of small average cars, his head is about twice the size of a mini bus. He's wearing a coat colored brown fitting his very large size.]

Anglery O'Twisterkin: (talking fast) 'Quiet-down-Champion-Û-Rotaten-Degreeish-and-no-this-is-not-the-Ice-Age-we-are-somewhere-in-Norway-the-date-being-December-thirty-first-nine hundred-and-ninety-nine-AD-time-ten-thirty-pm-three-point-two-seconds-and-milliseconds is-- and-now-four seconds.

Û-Rotaten Degreeish: 'Ahhhh!

Narrator: 'From here on in these four will be mostly be referred to by their first names.

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Û-Rotaten since you're a giant do the U-J-Benders see you to fight with us as cheating?

Û-Rotaten: 'In a weird way no, I asked them the very same question. So anyway, are more of us coming?

Anglery : 'Yah, more of us are coming... soon.

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Yeah, let's make the best of it. Get a fire going!

Û-Rotaten: 'Up here, O'Spoon-ish'O?

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Oh.

Anglery: 'Maybe we could dig a hole in snow to keep warm?

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'How about we cut up some animal in such away so we can go into it's insides for warmth like Star Wars?

Anglery: 'Nah! How's Û-Rotaten meant to fit?

Û-Rotaten: 'Yes. So what about we just get off this mountain and find some flater warmer land?

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Yeah.

Anglery: (addressing the forth Bending Unit who's done nothing but stare into the distance with his back turned to them.) 'My dear Grandmaster Saurflex Mel_Goth-Gray-Duster do you have anything to say?

[Saurflex turns to face him showing within the darkness of his hood two shining red lights in perfect lining of each other one the right and the other on the left; both being about more or less than a inch apart as if they are is eyes in his hood's opening. He shakes his head side to side.]

Anglery: 'No, Saurflex? Well then, it is agreed, Û-Rotaten!

[All four begin to walk down the mountain.]

[Time Lapse. All four are now walking on hilly land with the odd Picea tree around with the mountainous landscape not very far way in the distance and the blizzard has died down a small bit.]

Anglery: 'Hold!

[All four stop moving. Û-Rotaten craps a huge brick about the size of small car narrowly missing O'Spoon-ish'O.]

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Ahhh! Watch where you drop them, Û-Rotaten!

Anglery: 'Shh! [He scratches his ass thoughtfully.] Hmm, this is a nice place to build. Not the flattest of land, but it will do. [There's blinding flashes of light followed by the appearance of hundreds of Bending Units wearing no clothe nor have any showing equipment. All being about 5 foot tall as if they were all copied and pasted when made, accept for the odd female among the mass of males they all look unique and mostly nice looking. They all start shivering.] And here they are. But where are-- [Just then there are more blinding flashes of light followed by the appearances of dozens of wooden crates all marked "Starter RDS Supplies".] Let the party begin!

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Wait not yet, my lord. Someone got a banjo? .... Or wait I have one.

[He takes off a banjo hanging off the side of his backpack, sits down on Û-Rotaten's brick, then starts playing it.]

Û-Rotaten: 'I'll get a bonfire going! [Û-Rotaten digs a large hole in the snow with his left foot-cuff, then kicks a near by tree down, picks it up; places it in the hole, burps fire on it, sitting it alight. Then walks round the place kicking tress down, picking them up placing them on the growing fire, of which bending units start to gather around.]

[Time Lapse. Û-Rotaten is asleep snoring loudly near the bonfire holding a black bottle of beer about 5 feet tall and 5 feet wide, yet most of everyone else (the males) is seated on the ground around Anglery; drinking, laughing loudly, smoking cigars, and looking at porno magazines near the bonfire too, most of the female however are grouped together with their arms crossed looking at the males in disgust none of which seem to be paying any attention to them. Some of the crates have been opened. O'Spoon-ish'O sits near by playing random tunes with his banjo on Û-Rotaten's brick; others are also gathered around him clapping and cheering.

Anglery: 'Begin the countdown.

All: '10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

[Fireworks shoot into the sky which explode forming huge numbers "1000" in red.]

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Happy first Millennium!

[Time Lapse.]

Anglery: [telling a ghost story] 'And then it couldn't be bent! [Bending Units scream in horror and crap lots of bricks each.] Right-o chaps, it's time to build a wall around in a square here! Get the stuff from the crates!

[Time Lapse.]

[Bending Units mix piles of cement with water using shovels, some laying down bricks forming brick walls. All but one Bending Unit being about five foot tall with dents in place on his head and his eyes constantly spinning around in circles who just simply sits on top of the wall kissing a brick which he holds in his arms.]

Bending Unit #1: (shouting/ sounding like a stereotype drunken Irishman) 'I love my brick!

Bending Unit #2: 'That you shat out Eyes-Spinner-Dents?

Bending Unit #3: 'It doesn't matter if he or you or me shat that one out, it still makes a great pat. You don't have feed it, or clean it, or even take it to the Vet suits him up to the sky.

[Eyes-Spinner-Dents throws the brick at a Bending Unit working on the wall below.]

Eyes-Spinner-Dents: (shouting) 'Ahh, hell with it! Me fad up with brrrrick.

Scene: Outside the still being built walls of the encampment. Near one of the many camp fires outside the tents, Saurflex stands in the fire immune to it has five Bending Units seated around him covered in red and black tattoos of human body parts/war-paint.

Saurflex:(speaking in a cold, machine-like, anonymous voice)'011001101100110011010111001100110.... 2!

[Saurflex followers scream and drop bricks from under them, while other Bending Units sitting around camp fires and in tents narrow their eyes at them.]

[Pan over to a mixed group of male and female Bending Units sitting around a fire reading books marked "Ultimate Guide To The Medieval Age's Technology" under in small writing below; "Medieval lifestyle, Medieval hand held weapon making, Medieval fishing , Medieval armour making, Medieval siege weapon making, Medieval clothes making, Medieval farming, Medieval alcohol making, Medieval cooking, building Medieval like buildings, Medieval ship making, and everything and more you need to know about technology in the Medieval ages".]

Scene: Skyward view of the encampment. To see reddish lines forming a square with moving gray dots inside the area of approximately 200 meters at least maybe more in all directions, with a bright fiery light in it's middle spewing out smoke into the air (also within the encampment lots of smaller bright fiery lights doing the same spewing out smoke into the air.) with a huge brown non moving dot near to it; yet there's lots of gray dots moving around outside the area too with non moving bright fiery lights spewing out smoke into the air.]

[Pan back down to O'Spoon-ish'O sitting on Û-Rotaten's brick playing his banjo. Bending units in the background are setting up tents here and there around the place.]

O'Spoon-ish'O: (singing) 'Oh, Daffodil, oh, Daffodil, [Û-Rotaten opens his eyes and grunts.] oh Daffodils, why are you so beautiful, [Û-Rotaten takes a sip of his beer, then stands up and walks towards O'Spoon-ish'O.] its like you can, see into my soul, if only, I had one!

[Pan outwards into the sky to see the huge brown dot moving.]

[Pan back down.]

Û-Rotaten: 'Shut up! Stop it!

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'I was just done.

Û-Rotaten: 'Alright then, back to sleep I go.

O'Spoon-ish'O: (singing) 'Oh, Daffodil---

Û-Rotaten: 'Stop!

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'I was joking there.

Û-Rotaten: 'Yeah, [He lies down on the ground near the bonfire.] whatever.

[Pan around the general area to see dozens of tents and camp fires outside them, sounds of loud snoring from them, within the uneven walls still being built; approximately at their highest so far about 8 feet tall in places the lowest being about 4 foot tall in places the rest are in between the two. Pan over to a large red tent near the bonfire.]

Cut to: Inside: King's Tent. Anglery is scratching his ass deep in thought sitting on a wooden crate in the middle of messy room with all sorts of stuff consisting of mostly beer bottles and bits of wood.

Anglery: (thinking) 'What should I name this place ... hummmmmmmmm. [There's a knock on the door.] Who's that?!

Voice: (from outside) 'It's me m'lord, O'Spoon-ish'O! Can I come in?

Anglery: 'Yes. [O'Spoon-ish'O enters taking a seat on another crate in front of Anglery.] I've got it!

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Got what?

Anglery: 'The naming of this city ... "New Robonia" for we are the Robonians!

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Sounds good. I'll spread the word.

Cut to: Outside King's Tent. O'Spoon-ish'O exits the tent.

O'Spoon-ish'O: (shouting) 'New Robonia is the name of this city for we are the Robonians.

[Bending Units unenthusiastically grunt in reply. O'Spoon-ish'O re-enters the tent.]

Cut to: Back inside King's Tent.

Anglery: 'Take a seat. [O'Spoon-ish'O takes a seat on the same crate as before.] Where's Saurflex?

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Beats me. Doesn't really talk much does he?

Anglery: 'Well he is my Grandmaster so he's very full of himself even though I'm higher than rank than him.

[But laugh briefly. Then Anglery sighs.].

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'What's wrong my king?

Anglery: (sad) 'You don't need to refer to me as "my King", but by my name for in my Kingdom anyone can refer to me by my first name, other, nickname perhaps, unless I hate you. But anyway what I'm upset about is Saurflex. He's not been himself ever since I befriended a Human, but that's another story. (cheering up) So how's the people's mood?

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'To be honest my lord not the best.

Anglery: 'By what exactly? Don't be afraid to drag it out now I love when people drag out stuff.

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Well the main problems are dew to already over population forcing many to live outside in the cold of Norway rather in the warmth and the protection of the walls. Limited amounts of alcohol supplies that might only last a week if not less which may lead to thirstation.

Anglery: 'Well, looks like we need to expand are boarders then? [O'Spoon-ish'O nods.] Right so send word to are Scouts to find some settlements for us to take at for the morning, while I'll brief are few but powerful soldiers in the morning.

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Yes my lord.

Cut to: Outside a small squared building made of bricks within the walls of New Robonia. Where banging of metal sounds are coming from and smoke spewing out from it's chimney also made by bricks. Pan over to dozens of other building like this within the walls among the tents.

[Pan to two bending units both wearing brown hooded cloaks covering their whole bodies entering one of the squared buildings.]

Scene: Inside Building. What is in side is a place full of smoke (so almost nothing can be seen.), littered with bits of scrap metal laying on the floor everywhere, and neatly stacked squared piles of bricks with metal trays on top of them. In a corner there is a strong built Bending Unit black with dirt, he has a huge bushy black magnetic beard. He is banging on a hot piece of metal using a hammer on an black iron anvil.]

[The two hooded cloaked Bending Units walks up towards him.]

Blacksmith: 'Is there something I can do for ye? [He dips the piece of metal into a barrel filled with water, which cools it, then he takes it back out and places it onto a tray with all sorts other pieces of metal on it.] No need to be scared, you're not the first.

[The two Bending Units lower their hoods to reveal one's a female and one's a male.]

Fembot: 'I would like a son.

Blacksmith: 'Want a child, not fully grown up which may take a week to make, or fully grown Bending Unit which may take one month to make. Either one will cost you one bottle of beer, but I'll also need one mixed RNA sample from both of you in order for it to be truly both of your son.

Bending Unit: 'We'll take the non fully grown. [He hands him a bottle of Beer, and a tiny vile containing a small drop of oil with a tiny piece of blank paper attached to it.]

Blacksmith: 'I'll get right on it.

[He places the bottle of Beer into his chest cabinet, while his hand is in there he takes out a white feather pen, that he dips into a inkpot on a tray, then he writes a number on the vial, then carefully places the vial onto another tray with many other vials containing small drops of oil with tiny pieces of paper marked with numbers on them.]

Blacksmith: 'The number on the vial is to make sure you get the right order. Your number is "122214".

Fembot: 'Thank you.

[They leave, he then picks up a brick and throws it in into a forge melting it.]

Blacksmith: 'Oh, I need an apprentice. [He takes out a book from his chest cabinet marked.] "How To Build And Program A Bending Unit With Only Medieval Technology At Your Disposal".

[Time Lapse.]

Scene: Daybreak. The walls of New Robonia can be seen in the background where Anglery stands on a hill over looking a large gathered crowd below.

Anglery: 'Alright the plans are ...

Bender Unit #1: (somewhere within crowd) 'How can you be king if you don't have a wife?

Anglery: (shouting) 'She was killed by a giant can opener a fate that many of us Bending Units circum to, thank you very much!

Bender Unit #1: (somewhere within crowd) 'Oh.

Anglery: 'Anyway back to what I was saying. We are here to day to start a war, to take some new land for are selves. So get into your groups!

[Time Lapse. The Bending Units are spread into only two big groups.]

Anglery: [pointing at big group of unarmed Bending Units on the right.] 'What are you?

Officer Bending Unit: [wearing a black magnetic bowtie.] 'Fist-men, we will come at the enemy, and try to kill the enemy and take their weapons amour and use it against them.

Anglery: 'Very good. [He points to the other group on the left all holding bricks in their hands.] And what are you?

Eyes-Spinner-Dents: [wearing a red magnetic bowtie.] 'I be insane but I'm the Officer. Anyway we're professional Brick Throwers that have practicing all night throwing bricks at a brick wall. For we will throw bricks at the enemy.

Anglery: 'Very good. [Smallish fit looking Bending Units run towards Anglery.] Ah, the Scouts anything to report?

Scout Officer: (wearing a baseball cap with his antenna sticking out on the top) 'Well there's a small fishing village along a river to the south east of us with some hop fields around it.

[Crowd below cheers.]

Bender Unit #2: (somewhere within crowd) 'We can make beer from the hops!

Scout Officer: 'Plus it has a bar.

[Crowd below cheers again.]

Scene: New Robonia. Near the bonfire still going strong O'Spoon-ish'O is shouting at Û-Rotaten lying on his back on the ground.

O'Spoon-ish'O: (shouting) 'Come on Û-Rotaten, we need you!

[He kicks him.]

Û-Rotaten: (sleepily) 'Oh, [He waves his hand.] knock it off O'Spoon-ish'O! I'm not going to fight unless it's for truly a rightful cause against evil. Other than that I'll just scare them if they try and attack us. It just doesn't feel right crushing organic life forms, unless their the evil kind that do more harm than left alive.

O'Spoon-ish'O: 'Yeah, you're right. They might just give up on sight from seeing you.

Û-Rotaten: (sleepily) 'Exactly! [He yawns.] Now let me go back to sleep.

[Pan over to red brick gatehouse (it's gates are open.) with two large squared towers made of red brick approximately 35 feet high attached to it on either side, where Bending Units enter and exit New Robonia all the time going about their business.]

Narrator: 'The first battle is about to begin, in the next part, the question is when?

To be continued

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