Futurama

Fan Fiction

Cornwood's Saviour
By Rush

Scene: Geysers of Gygax.

Zoidberg Head: [While jumping and spinning between Frydo and Momon.] I have all the dice. I am the dungeon master. I know all and see... [He is squished by the falling Greyfarn.] Ow! [The die rolls away from him and Momon quickly snatches it up.]

Momon: 'Game over. [Just as she finished her statement a Bending Unit appeared with a blinding flash of light, who fell from the ceiling, landing on her, knocking her over, causing her to lose grip of the die, which rolled along the ground heading towards the molten plastic.] Ow! Get off of me, you big horse arse!

Leegola: (annoyed) 'Hey! [Titanius Anglesmith giggles with his hand over his mouth. Leegola slaps him.]

Titanius Anglesmith: 'Ow!

Momon: 'Ahh! Get off me! [She pushes the Bending Unit off her, but then she notices with her eyes widen to hell the die rolling into the molten plastic.] Noooo! [The die floats on the molten plastic, refusing to melt through all its numbers flash repeatedly all at once.] Phew! Now, for the end of all things. [She stands up, but just as she begins to run towards the molten plastic where the die lies she is hit over the head by a brick knocking her over, thrown by Titanius Anglesmith from on top of the pillar with ; Leegola and Gynecaladriel.] Ow! What now?! [A pear of bending unit's hands from behind her take two tight grips of both of her ankles, forcefully dragging her backwards away from the molten plastic.] Ahh! Crap!

[Pan over to show the new bending unit has both of his arms extended far pulling Momon away from the molten plastic.]

Bending Unit: 'You will not win Momon … well not this time anyway.

[Everyone cheers]

Frydo: 'Alight!

Zoidberg Head: 'Yay!

[Pan over to the die floating on the molten plastic, which finally melts, sinking into the molten plastic. A shock wave blasts out from Momon knocking everyone over, causing the Bending unit to lose his grip on her.]

Leegola: (shouting) 'Is everyone OK?

Everyone: 'Yeah, we just fell-over. [Momon screeches like a banshee (or a demon if you will) as wicked and as foul as you can imagine, rocks and dust and other debris fall from the ceiling , and the molten plastic begins to rise rapidly.]

Leegola: (panicly) 'We have to get outta here! [Titanius Anglesmith and Gynecaladriel get on her back, she jumps down onto the ground, while everyone else who she joins up with are already running out the exit ; Zoidberg Head (who's whooping), Frydo, Ignus, Greyfarn, and the Bending Uuit.]

Cut to: Outside Geysers of Gygax. Everyone rushes out of Momon's mouth barely ahead of the molten plastic pouring out from it.

Titanius Anglesmith: 'Ahhhhhh! Leegola! [Leegola makes a quick turn away from the path of the molten plastic, and they climb onto a rock that extends high above the others along with the rest who are winded gasping out of breath. The molten plastic now flows past them on the rock.] We made it, baby!

[Gynecaladriel and Titanius Anglesmith get off Leegola back onto to their own feet.]

Grayfarn: 'Who the hell are you?!

U-J-Bender: 'It is I: U-J-Bender, saviour of Cornwood. [He disappears with a blinding flash of light.]

Gynecaladriel: 'Well, that was weird.

Frydo: 'Leegola, can I talk with you?

Leegola: 'Sure, Frydo. [Everyone blocks their ears and hums.] So, what is it?

Fry: 'Are you a lesbian?

Leegola: 'Oh, Grayfarn must of cast a spell on you as we ran out showing in your mind me and Gynecaladriel kissing.

Frydo: 'Yeah.

Leegola: 'Anyway Frydo, I'm bisexual, and I like men a whole lot more than women though. [With a blinding flash of light a huge wormhole appears (not unlike Into The Wild Green Yonder's ending one), everyone gasps.] Wormhole!

Grayfarn: 'Duh!

Titanius Anglesmith: 'Who cast de powerful spell?

Grayfarn: 'It was Saurwern who made this wormhole to send us back to are home universe "U-X1X220011", I can smell his 1200 year all over it.

Gynecaladriel: 'What age are you?

Grayfarn: 'I'm 1600 or so.

Titanius Anglesmith: 'Is Saurwern on our side?

Titanius Anglesmith: 'Well, in this lord of the rings parody, yes. (shouting) Now, let's go home back to our own universe already.

[All walk into the wormhole disappearing from sight.]

Narrator: 'And so it was when Momon was defeated and our heroes left, the Dwarfs started a rebellion the Centaurs and Saurwern had joined them in their fight for their people not to be eaten by anyone and their freedom. The Humans race and along with many others was shaken with fear after many were killed by the Dwarfs, Saurwern and the Centaurs. They wanted peace, and would give in to any demands the Dwarfs, Saurwern and the Centaurs wanted. The Dwarfs, the Centaurs and Saurwern agreed that the Dwarfs would be free, not to be eaten by anyone under the penalty of death. As for Saurwern and the Centaurs they wanted nothing, and I'm sure you want to go back to our story now.

Scene: Mom's office. They all reappear in the room confused.]

Leela: 'My God, we're out of that weird, crazy world and back in our regular crazy world.

Fry: 'Did we all just have some kind of freaky dream or was it ghosts?

Farnsworth: 'Neither, Fry. It was science. Bender's mighty imagination amplified by a dark matter resonance created an alternate reality that very nearly blew our minds.

Hermes: 'Exactly. You can't make that kind of stuff up.

Mom: 'Quit trying to explain everything. You may have defeated me in that world but I'll defeat you in this one. Boys, the crystal’s still in his stomach.

Walt: 'Commencing intestinal flash flood.

Farnsworth: 'Wait! Before my moment of shame, can I...

Mom: 'Yes, speak up.

[Farnsworth and Igner look at each other, teary eyed.]

Farnsworth: 'Can I give my boy a hug?

Mom: 'Alright. Fine. I've never done it. I guess somebody should.

Inger: 'Daddy. [They hug.]

Farnsworth: 'Like father, like son, eh, boy?

[Pan down to reveal that the two crystals are near each other in their stomachs.]

Igner: 'We both eated the crysals. [They giggle together.]

Mom: 'No. No!

[The two crystals pulse repeatedly then explode. Farnsworth and Igner belch together. Mom picks up a ball of Dark Matter and it desitegrates in her hand.]

Mom: 'My dark matter. It's worthless.

Farnsworth: 'That's right, Mom. But fear not, fancy folk for I've just thunk up an alternative energy source. Dark matter again, imported from a parallel universe: The Cowboy Universe, which is right next to us, given to us at a much lower price by Dad's Friendly Robot Company than Mom's, and the me of that universe is the owner of your company.

Nibbler: 'Hurray!

The End.

Buddies