Fan Fiction

Unfortold Story Of The Ramaness, part 4
By Rush

Scene: Parallel Leela's Bedroom. Leela, who is on top of Fry pinning him down has him in an locked kiss. After an considerably long amount of time (let say a few hours), she finally breaks the kiss and lifts herself up right and strokes her hair, while Fry gasps for breath.

Leela: (very very softly) 'You okay, Fry? [She slips herself off him to lie beside him, and gently wraps her arms around him.] Fry? Answer me.

Fry: (sill gasping) 'Yeah.....just...out...of...breath...that's all.

Leela: (very very softly) 'Oh, I guess I kissed you to much for too long, didn't I?.....Fry?

Fry: 'Yes?

Leela: (very very softly) 'Are sure you don't wanna...you know "make love"? Because I want to.

Fry: 'Oh believe me I do! But I-I can't--I mean not without a date at least with you.

Leela: (very very softly) 'Well alright. (shouting) Lights out!

Lamp: 'Lights out!

[The lamp turns itself off beside her bed leaving the room in darkness.]

Leela: (very very softly) 'Good night, Fry.

Fry: (quietly) 'Good night, Leela. (thinking) Okay, just what the Hell is going on here? Like; somehow Igner is now the Professor's son, almost everyone thinks I'm dead or a zombie, the TV is acting weird, Planet Express is now: Awesome Express, Leela is suddenly madly in love with me. How could so much happen during last night? Aww, I just sleep on it.

Leela: 'You know Fry I can both see you very clearly in the dark with this eye of mine. Can you see me?

Fry: 'Errr, no. I can't see or make out anything....Leela?

Leela: 'Mmm?

Fry: 'Can I....can I wrap my arms around you too?

[Leela laughs.]

Leela: (sarcastically) 'Noooo. (seriously) Of course, Fry!

Fry: 'Alright..............oh man, you're so so much much softer than any other pillow I've felt before.

Leela: 'So you're enjoying yourself then?

Fry: 'Oh yes.....can....can I.......can I even feel you in places?

Leela: 'Yep. Though if you feel me in places I'll do the same to you.

Scene: Fry's Original Universe:  Space. The Planet Express Ship flies towards Earth, descends into it's atmosphere, then flies over New New York City and crashes into a billboard (going right through it) which says "Breadboards now all half price at Breadpan's breadboard warehouse".

Cut to: Cockpit. Farnsworth is at the wheel while everyone else is knocked over on the ground.

Bender: 'Whoa! My memory was flashing before my eyes, I thought we were gonna die!

[Leela stands up.]

Leela: 'Professor, let me drive!

Farnsworth: 'Noooooooooooo! Woman!

Cut to: Outside Planet Express. The ship's landing gear comes down and enters the hanger (which has a huge hole in it more then big enough to fit the ship).]

Cut to: Planet Express: Hangar. The ship lands inside, Leela walks out followed shortly after by; Bender,Cubert, and Farnsworth.

Bender: 'I'll be in the lounge!

Leela: 'I'll be in there with you!

Cut to: Lounge. Leela and Bender sit on the couch watching TV.

Announcer: [voice-over; on TV] 'For quality Breadboards, visit Breadpan's breadboard warehouse.

Bender: 'Grrrr![He sh**s a brick.] (screaming) Ahhhhhh! [He throws the brick smashing the TV's screen.] (shouting) Shut up! It gets boring seeing the same commercial consumer advertisement twice!

Leela: 'Bender, do you realize you're gonna have to pay for that now?

Bender: 'I doubt it.

[Hermes walks in looking angry.]

Hermes: (angrily/shouting) 'Just what da Hell happened in here?! Oh sweet cabbages of cabbagon, da Television is smashed!

Bender: 'Zoidberg did it!

Hermes: (quietly) 'Oh I make sure he'll pay, (upbeat) in money.

[Hermes walks out.]

Bender: 'See?

Leela: 'Well, I guess so. But.....--

Bender: 'But what?

Leela: 'But....where is Fry, why did he not come in to day?

Bender: 'Because he was tired from all last night polishing and picking daisies from my ass, that's why! [She narrows her eye.] Alright, alright! Truth is I don't know where he is. Only last saw him this morning really.

Leela: 'Do you have any idea at all where he is?

Bender: 'Well, I guessenly suppose he's found himself a suicide booth.

Leela: (shouting) 'What?! [Tears begin to form in her eye.] Oh no! N-n-n no no no! [She sniffles.] He couldn't of!

Bender: 'Well he did! [She whales then runs off leaving the room.] Man, I thought she'd never leave. [He sighs lazily while he lies himself down on the couch.] Life is grand!

Cut to: Locker Room. Leela sits on the bench with her head low in her arms crying.

Leela: (crying) 'Why am I crying? It's not true, coming from Bender. Fry wouldn't take the coward's way out. [She wipes her eye with half a tissue, then puts the other half back in her wrist communicator.] No. Fry wouldn't hurt me like that. (thinking) Best stop thinking out loud, Leela. Because it's the first sign of madness.

[Zoidberg runs in crying and sits next to her.]

Zoidberg: (crying) 'Ahhhh,huh-huh , ahhhhh, huh-huh! Now I won't be able to get a meal tonight, because me having to pay for the smashed TV screen!

Leela: (thinking) 'Now, I feel guilty. Letting Bender frame Zoidberg....Oh, I just hope Fry is okay....oh get over yourself he's fine, probably still in bed, the lazy oaf. But what if he isn't? What if he's in trouble? [She stands up.] (shouting/thinking out loud.) I'm going looking for him.

[She quickly leaves.]

Zoidberg: (crying) 'And I thought I had miseries. Oh wait? I do! Ahhhh,huh-huh , ahhhhh, huh-huh--

Cut to: Outside Planet Express: Late Evening. Leela exits the building, looking desperately side to side trying to get an eye sight of Fry, while the sun begins to go low in the sky.

Leela: (thinking) 'I'm acting crazy! I should just go back inside, Fry will be fine.

[Bender exits the building smoking a Ukrainian Pipe.]

Bender: 'What's up big ass?!

Leela: 'Bender, I will portend I didn't hear that. So, have you seen Fry?

Bender: 'Can't say that I have. [He puffs his pipe.] Only till last this morning, why?

Leela: 'Because, I'm worried about Fry.

Bender: (laughing) 'Ha ha ha ha ha! [He puffs his pipe.] Oh, that's rich! Miss rejecting heartbreaking big chest is worried about Fry.

Leela: 'Yes, well I--

Bender: 'Sure, I'll help! I'm in one of them helpful moods. [He puffs his pipe.] You know the ones you where you don't have to pay?

Leela: 'Yes, okay. Now let's go to the police station and report a missing person.

Bender: 'But [He puffs his pipe.] Leela it's only been a few hours since--

Leela: (shouting) 'I said now! This is Fry we're talking about! He could of gone to an Organ Dealer again, and possible gotten himself killed!

Bender: 'Oh, boohoo! [He puffs his pipe.]  Be an woman. [She slaps him; he loses his grip on his pipe, it falls to the ground but is still lit.] Ow! Oh no, my pipe! [He picks it up.] Ahh, I can still smoke it.

[He puffs his pipe and signs lazily.]

Scene: Parallel Leela's Bedroom. The room is in darkness, Fry and Leela giggle.

Leela: (giggling) 'Ohh, that's nice.

Fry: (giggling) 'Oh snap, yeah, I know. [He yawns. ] (quietly) Leela, I'm getting tired, let's just go to sleep.

Leela: (very very softy) 'Oh come on Fry, not before we "make love". I can go on top for you, if you'd like, to make it easier for you, would you like that?

Fry: (thinking) 'What's wrong with me? This is the biggest chance you ever had with her since the Worms, or even the time-skips. But something tells me this is not Leela. Yet she's everything like her, and this one loves me?

Leela: (sexfully) 'Fry, I've taken off my panties.

Fry: (thinking) 'Okay, now that is just uncalled for, I'm a man for Christ's sake! Oh, now she's on top of me! Man, am I tempted!

Leela: (sexfully) 'Will you let me take your underpants off for you?

Fry: (thinking) 'Do something! Okay here goes. (speaking/quietly) Leela?

Leela: (sexfully) 'Mmm, yes baby?

Fry: (quietly) 'I can tell and talk to you about anything can't I?

Leela: (very very softly) 'Of course, Fry. You are my best friend and lover.

Fry: (thinking) 'Okay, she not top of me anymore and back beside me.

Leela: (very very softly) 'So, what is it? You know can tell me if you want to.

Fry: (quietly) 'First Leela, never forget I love you. But feel a little bit awkward.

Leela: (very very softly) 'Oh Fry, there's no need to feel awkward. You're size isn't what's imported to Women or me, only in stupid porno movies.

Fry: (quietly) 'Okay, that wasn't what I was....Leela, I feel if I don't go on a date with you first, I'm doing something wrong.

Leela: (very very softly) 'Oh okay. If that's how you feel I wont force you.

Fry: (quietly) 'You are not mad at me are you?

Leela: (very very softly) 'No no no, I'm not. Let me give you a kiss goodnight......There, see? I'm not mad, not at all.

Fry: (quietly) 'Oh, okay. Goodnight Leela.

Leela: (very very softly) 'Goodnight Fry.

Scene: Fry's Original Universe: New New York Police Department. Leela stands at the front desk before URL and Smitty, while Bender in the background leans against a wall reading a circuit diagram.

URL: 'Yes baby?

Leela: 'Can you look for this man.

[She hands them a picture of Fry frozen in the cryo-tube.]

Smitty: 'Okay, but how long has he been missing for?

Leela: 'Um...(thinking) He's not missing for 24 hours so lie. (speaking) 24 hours ish.

URL: 'Okay, baby. We'll put up poster all over the city, to see if someone saw him.

Smitty: 'And we will ring you, if we find him. Since we already know your number. Ha ha!

Bender: 'Oh, you got huge ones! [He looks up from his circuit diagram.] Can we go now?

Leela: 'Yeah, let's go.

Cut to: New New York City Street. Night time. Leela and Bender walk side by side on a busy pavement, coming across the odd picture of Fry (In the cryo-tube.) on a wall.

Bender: (sarcastically) 'Oh, you didn't have any better pictures of Fry did you?

Leela: 'Yeah, I do as matter of fact.

Bender: 'Yeah whatever along the lines you just said, wanna go get a drink?

Leela: 'Sure.

[Leela and Bender as they walk down the pavement some more come across O'Zorgnax's Pub, and enter it.]

Scene: O'Zorgnax's Pub. Leela and Bender sit at the bar. Bender drinks a bottle of Olde Fortran malt liquor, while drinks Leela a 80 ML bottle of Space Spring Water.

[There is awkward silence.]

Bender: 'So?

Leela: 'So.

Bender: 'So I feel awkward in these so called socializing outting feasts, with people I hate. [He points at Leela] Like you!

Leela: 'Most certainly.

Bender: 'Merrily quite Good.

Leela: 'What year it?

Bender: 'S1.

Leela: 'Ah.

Bender: 'Delectable. [He lights up himself cigarette using his middle finger as a lighter.] Ah.

Leela: 'Indeed.

Bender: 'Ah. (seriously)You know what, let's talk about something. [He puff his cigarette.] So how's the economy?

Leela: 'Grand.

Bender: 'Indeed.

Leela: 'Ah.

[Bender cigarette falls into his beer; which goes on fire, he takes a drink out of; his head catches fire, followed by the rest of his body.]

Bender: 'Oh deary me! I'm in dreadful pain!

Leela: 'What is it?

Bender: 'I dare say I've spontaneously combusted.

Leela: 'Oh, I am sorry.

Bender: 'Oh it's quite alright, I've grown tired of living.

Leela: 'Ah, very good then.

Bender: 'For the best.

Leela: 'Yes, indeed.

Bender: 'Oh, on second thought, get a fire extinguishers. [From the ceiling a huge loud of water drops on Bender putting out the fire.] Never mind. I say someone should fix them smoke alarms.

Smoke Alarm: [from ceiling] 'It's the future dumb ass! We're smart smoke alarm! We go off when we need to.

Bender: 'Indeed.

Leela: (seriously) 'Bender, let's stop.

Bender: (seriously) 'Yeah you're right. Let's go back to having an awkward silence.

[Leela nods.]

Sometime later: Late at Night. Robot Arms Apartments: Bender's and Fry's Lounge. Bender walks into the dark room from the front door followed closely behind by Leela.

Leela: (worried) 'Oh, you think Fry's here?

Bender: 'Eh, I don't know why you asking me.? [As Bender lies himself down on the couch he signs lazily.]

Leela: 'You don't care do you?

Bender: 'Honestly, no.

Leela: 'Fine!

[Leela in a huff walks into the wide open door to Fry's bedroom.]

Cut to: Fry's Bedroom. Leela enters his room, and gasps seeing Fry nowhere in sight.

Leela: (sniffling) 'Fry, where are you? I miss you already! (crying) Where are you?! Don't do this to me [She spots a newspaper on floor, picks it up and reads the headline.] Greatest opera of all time sucks? Fry's opera? No that's--[She notices Fry's holophonor, she places the newspaper back down on floor and picks up the holophonor.] His holophonor? [She sits on Fry's bed, looks under the blanket to find Fry's usual red jacket inside, which she takes into her arms and hugs] Fry, Fry, Fry, don't leave me!

Bender: (shouting) 'Hey, shut up in there big boobs. I'm trying to watch cartoons!

Leela: (thinking) 'I should head home.

[She puts on Fry's jacket, and walks out of the room.]

Cut to: Robot Arms Apartments Corridor. Leela is halfway walking down the corridor when she suddenly falls over.

Leela: 'Whaa! [Everything flashes, and the corridor she's in changes into a light color of green.] What the...this is different? [She get up and walks backs where she fell, then falls over again as everything flashes, and the corridor she's in changes into a light color of gray.] An invisible warp-hole-gateway to a parallel universe?

[Farnsworth comes round a conner with his hands in the air.]

Farnsworth: 'Good news everyone! I have apparently come here for reasons I forget.

Leela: 'Professor?

Farnsworth: 'Who in Scruffy's unshaven scruffy beard are you?!

Leela: 'I'm Turanga Leela, the captain of your intergalactic spaceship's crew Planet Express.

Farnsworth: 'Eh, wha? Oh, yes, yes. My good pal, of course! [He turns to his shadow and shrugs.] Anyhoo, I remember why I've come here now in the first place. You see Fry, is not here [He points at air up the corridor.]he's in there, in that universe.

Leela: 'Wait! That parallel universe I fell into, Fry's in there?

Farnsworth: 'Yes, according to the Where-Is Machine at home.

[Bender exits his apartment door, and walks towards them.]

Bender: 'Hey what's going on out here nerds?!

Leela: 'We think we know where Fry has gone to. Watch this.

[Leela walks back to where she fell and disappears, then she reappears face down on the ground.]

Farnsworth: 'Oh my!

Bender: 'Whoa! She's a witch!

Leela: [getting up onto her feet] 'Are yous coming with me?

Farnsworth: 'Yes.

Bender: 'Sure why not. I didn't have anything else planned for tonight. (quickly) Other then to just jack-on.

Leela: 'What?

Bender: 'Nothing.

Leela: 'Alright then, let' go! [Leela, Bender, and Farnsworth walk to where the invisible warp-hole-gateway lies, then fall over as everything flashes, and the corridor they are in changes into a light color of green.] Well, we're here.

Farnsworth: 'Right-o

Bender: 'Since when were you British old man?

Farnsworth: 'Just there. Is it a crime to say bible basher's slang words from other places?

Bender: 'No, yeah whatever.

[All three dust themselves off as they stand up.]

Leela: 'So what's are first move?

Bender: 'Knock on my alternate self's door of course.

To be continued