Fan Fiction

Unfortold Story Of The Ramaness, part 7
By Rush

Scene: Parallel Leela's Apartment Corridor. Leela helps Fry by supporting him with his arm placed on her shoulder helping him long like a wounded soldier, while the others Farnsworth and Parallel Leela wait impatiently.

Farnsworth: 'Oh we'll never get anywhere at this rate. [He takes out "The Life Giver Ray" from his lab-coat. And fires a blue laser from "The Life Giver Ray" at Fry; making all his bruises disappear.] There! Oh yes, it can heal too.

Fry: 'Hey! I fell all better. Thanks, Professor!

Leela: (thinking) 'Hey, I was enjoying holding Fry! Oh well I guess I can do that latter.

Outside Parallel Leela's Apartment. All four exit the building. The front door lies on the floor inside.

Parallel Leela: 'So that was the thug I heard this morning?

Leela: (guilty) 'Yes.

Parallel Leela: 'Well my apartment keeper will pay for it. How did you disable the alarm?

Leela: 'Oh, I have my ways.

Cut to: Outside Awesome Express. All four stand outside the the front door. Parallel Leela knocks on the door, within a few seconds Parallel Farnsworth answers wearing a tuxedo and Parallel Bender.

Parallel Bender: 'Hello!

Parallel Farnsworth: 'Yes?

Parallel Leela: 'Can we borrow the keys for the ship?

Parallel Farnsworth: 'Sure, [He hands her the ship's keys.] here you go.

[They all enter inside, within in a few seconds the hanger doors open, the ship flies out from them up into the sky out to space.]

Cut to: Hanger. Parallel Hermes mouth is wide open in disbelieve, he drops his paperwork.

Parallel Hermes: (shouting) 'Farnsworth!

[Parallel Farnsworth walks in with his hands in the air.]

Parallel Farnsworth: 'Yes?

Parallel Hermes: 'You let them take the ship?!

Parallel Farnsworth: 'Yes. Why?

Parallel Hermes: 'Why?! Oh, never mind! (thinking) I'm not gonna even bother calling the police.

Scene: Awesome Express: Ship's Cockpit. Parallel Leela sits at the wheel, while the others sit on the couch.

Parallel Leela: 'There it is! Bender, go out and take him inside.

[Parallel Bender walks out muttering.]

Scene: Outside Ship. Parallel Bender stands at the airlock tethered to the ship with the diamond filament tether. He looks at Parallel Fry's coffin floating in space.

Parallel Bender: 'Well better do my job, I guess. [He jumps out, as he floats towards it he lights himself up a cigar using his middle finger as lighter.] Whoa! No oxygen in space and still able to smoke? Cool!

[He grabs the coffin, and floats back into the ship.]

Cut to: Cargo Bay. Fry's coffin lies on a a pile of crates everyone is assembled around it.

Farnsworth: 'This ain't gonna be pretty, so brace yourselves for the worst. [Parallel Bender forces open the coffin with a crowbar like Gordon Freeman's from Half Life. To reveal Parallel Fry's corpse wearing a tux, which is extremely well preserved, as if it has not begun to decay at all.] By God, he's extremely well preserved! It's as if he has not begun to decompose at all.

Parallel Leela: 'Yes we can see that. Now, bring him back already!

Farnsworth: 'Oh right-o.

[He takes out "The Life Giver Ray" from his lab-coat.]

Parallel Leela: 'What are you waiting for? Do it! [Farnsworth fires a blue laser from "The Life Giver Ray" on Parallel Fry's corpse.] Did it work?

[Parallel Fry sits up, yanks and scratches the back of his neck.]

Parallel Fry: 'Ahh! 4 years not moving at all, can give you such a crack in the neck!

Parallel Leela: (shouting) 'Fry!

Parallel Fry: (shouting) 'Leela!

[Parallel Leela jumps into the coffin; on top of him, both crying and laughing in joy as she kisses him repeatedly all over his face.]

Cut to: Outside Ship.The ship flies towards Earth.

Cut to: Ship's Cockpit. Leela sits at the wheel Fry standing by her side, while the others sit on the couch apart from the two parallels Fry and Leela, who appear to be missing.

Parallel Bender: 'Yep, Fry's getting freaky deaky in her cabin.

Fry: 'Leela?

Leela: (very very softy) 'Yes, Fry?

Fry: 'There's something I always wanted to ask you.

[Leela turns to face him looking at him sweetly.]

Leela: (very very softy) 'Like what?

Fry: 'Like, this is not thee end but mostly just.... do you have any Slurm? I'm dieing for one!

[Leela turns her head back to the controls trying to hide her disappointment.]

Leela: (quietly) 'Oh no, Fry, I'm afraid not.

Parallel Bender: 'Yeah, and fat chance you'll get any here. It's been outlawed for the last 8 years.

Fry: (shouting) 'What?!

Parallel Bender: 'Yep, it all happened while you were in the bathroom.

Leela: 'Don't worry, I'll get you some on the way home.

Fry: 'Huh?

Scene: Outside Ship. The ship flies towards Earth, descends into it's atmosphere, then flies over New New York City; passing by traffic in the sky. Then the ship's landing gear comes down as it nears Awesome Express. It's hanger opens as the ship lands inside.

Cut to: Hanger. Everyone apart from parallel Fry and Leela (who appear to be missing) walk down the steps of the ship to meet Parallel Amy, who wears her usual clothes but is colored red.

Parallel Amy: 'Did you make clones of each other?

Leela: 'Nope, and we gotta go now.

Fry: 'Hey...but can't we---

Leela: (shouting) 'I said now!

[Leela grabs Fry by the ear and drags him along. The ship rocks  back and forth making squeaking noises.]

Parallel Bender: 'Yep, they are still at it.

Cut to: Outside Awesome Express. Leela, Fry, and Farnsworth exit the building, and walk across the street on to the pavement on the other side.

Scene: Outside Robot Arms Apartments. All three walk on the pavement, then turn and enter Robot Arms.

Cut to: Corridor. Bender waits impatiently leaning against a wall and tapping his foot-cuff outside his alternate self's apartment.

Bender: 'Anytime now. [Fry, Leela, and Farnsworth walk around a conner.] 'Bout time! Do you know how long I've been waiting? Also you should know the Fry and Leela of this universe, have a 3 year old son, who has one eye and hair like her mother, but has his father nose, and born a year after Fry's death. And the reason why we didn't see him was because he was over at Leela's parents this weekend.

Leela: 'That's great, Bender. Now let's go home.

Scene: Fry's Original Universe: Robot Arms Corridor. All four appear on the floor, then dust themselves off as they stand up.

Fry: (sad) 'Well, I'm back. I'm back to an life where I'm unloved and nothing has changed.

Leela: (very very softy) 'Oh,[She takes Fry's hands in hers.] I don't know about that.

Fry: 'What? But weren't you—-

Leela: (very very softy) 'Fry, I just wanted us to out of there asap, and spend some lost time with you.

Fry: 'Me....why me?

Bender: (thinking) 'Oh here comes the shippy stuff.

Leela: (very very softy) 'Because, I don't want to let you or myself to wait any longer so....I love you, Fry.

Fry: 'I love you too, Leela.

Leela: (very very softy) 'Let's go to my place. And I'll give what the other Leela didn't.

Fry: 'Oh baby, I'm there!

Leela: (sexfully) 'You sure are.

[Fry and Leela kiss passionately, then hold hands as they walk up the corridor out of sight.]

[Bender elbows Farnsworth.]

Bender: 'Boi-oi-oi-oiing! Huh? Huh?

Farnsworth: 'Eh, wha?

Bender: 'I said, boi-oi-oi-oiing! Huh?

Farnsworth: 'Oh my yes!

And so it has a cheesy happy ending.