Fan Fiction

By Dwayne Anderson

Note From The Author: This story gives the movie "Terminator" the Futurama treatment.

Zapp Brannigan sat on his heart shaped bed on board the Nimbus. He was not in a good mood.

The last time he had heard of Leela, she were involved in a relationship with Fry.

"Captain?" asked Kif Kroker as he entered. "A word with you please?"

"Not now Kif!" said Zapp. "I'm trying to figure out how to make Leela fall for me instead of that meddling oaf Fry!"

"Captain, if you weren't such a sleazebag obsessed with sex, maybe you could accomplish your goal."

"Well one way or another, Leela will be mine! I've had my eyes on her since the day I slept with her!"

As Kif Kroker began to leave, Zapp spoke to him again. "Kif, have the construction of our new military cyborg begun yet?"

"You have asked at least, let me just count...five times! And another thing, it's been finished since last week!"

"Bring it to me! I've got an idea on how to get rid of Fry!"

"You're not going to kill him are you?"

"Yes and no. Let's just say that he won't stand a chance!"

A little later, Zapp was in the labratory of Nimbus. Standing before him was a man-sized metallic cyborg. It came complete with a built in weapon system and time capsule. Currently, it was standing hooked up to a computer.

"Now, here is my plan Kif" said Zapp. "I am going to send this robot to the past and eliminate Fry before he is even born!"

"But that's impossible sir! In order to do such a thing, you'd have to kill his mother!"

"That's the idea Kif! Once I kill Fry in the past, he won't exist here in the future, and Leela is mine!"

"Captain, you monster! That's inhuman!"

"Kif, you may leave now. I must be alone with my cyborg."

"But sir, it is the property of the Nimbus!"

"And I financed the construction you boneless moron! Now go!"

Kif ran out of the lab.

Zapp turned to face the robot. "Now, all that's left is for you to blend in with humans. I am going to give you skin! Computer, bring up a database of human skin!"

He scrolled through the numerous selections, until finally, he saw what he was looking for. He pressed "Enter".

Within seconds, the robot was covered with skin, with the face of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"Perfect!" said Zapp. "Since this is no strip club, I am going to put you in a decent DOOP uniform."

Meanwhile, down on Earth, in the Planet Express building, the crew had just returned from their latest delivery to Mars.

"I'm glad we're home" said Amy. "I can't take another of my parents `Where's my grandchild?' rantss!"

"Look on the bright side" said Fry, "you still have plenty of time to give them one before you reach menopause and get cut out of the will."

Suddenly, the door opened. In came Kif.

"Kif? What are you doing here?" asked Leela.

"I have some terrible news!" said Kif. "It concerns Fry though. That's the bad news! The worse news is that the mastermind behind it, is none other than Zapp Brannigan!"

"What's the bad news anyway?" asked Leela.

"The captain is sending a powerful cyborg to the twentieth century before Fry was born!"

"What's so bad about that?" asked Fry.

"He's programmed it to kill your mother before you were born!"

Everyone gasped.

"Wait!" said Farnsworth, "if the cyborg kills Fry's mother, Fry won't exist here in the future!"

Fry was so shocked, he fainted.

"Exactly!" said Kif. "This is another one of Zapp's schemes to get rid of Fry so that he'll finally have Leela to himself!"

"No!" said Leela. "Anyone but Zapp! I've got to go stop that cyborg!"

"And one more thing" said Kif, "before I left, I actually saw the body of the cyborg and the person it resembles. Arnold Schwarzenegger!"

"And now, his head is in the head museum" said Farnsworth.

A little later, Farnsworth gave Leela a handheld communication device.

"When you are ready to return to this era, contact me with this and I will return you to the future. Good luck!"

Leela ran into the time capsule. She was surrounded by bright flashing lights.

When the lights cleared, Leela found herself in New York of 1974. It was clear night with stars and and moon. The streets were empty.

"Whoa! Check it out!" said a hippie. "Did you see that? That woman just appeared out of nowhere!"

"Dig it!" said his wife, also a hippie, "aliens are invading us!"

Leela ran to a nearby phone booth, took the phone book and flipped through the pages.

"I've got to find out where Fry lived as a child!" she said. She looked through all the names under "Fry". Suprisingly, there was only one.

Suddenly, she was enveloped in bright lights.

"Freeze! Stay right where you are alien!" a voice was heard behind her. She turned to face a dozen men and women, all carrying a handgun, aiming them at her.

Leela turned and ran as fast as she could. Bullets whizzed past her.

Leela ran down the street and turned down a corner as the government agents chased her.

"Taxi!" she cried.

Moments later a cab drove up to her. She climbed in.

"Where to?" he asked.

"Just drive!" she said.

"You're the boss" he said as he began to drive. Then he noticed Leela's single eye.

"Ah!" he cried. "You're an alien!"

He threw open the car door and dove out.

Leela grabbed the wheel and applied her foot to the accelorator, driving away from her pursuers.

As the agents disappeared behind her, Leela breathed a sigh of relief.

Following the address she had seen in the phone book, Leela drove as fast as she could, ignoring the red traffic lights.

Finally, she arrived at the house where Fry lived before being cryogenically frozen.

She climbed out and ran to the front door. Then she rang the doorbell.

The door was opened by a small boy. It was Yancey.

"Is your mommy here?" asked Leela.

"Mom! Some weirdo is here looking for you!" Yancey called.

Mrs. Fry came into the front hall. She looked like she was eight months pregnant.

"Who are you?" she asked as Leela closed the door behind her.

"I'm Turanga Leela" said Leela. "Call me Leela."

"Why are you here?" asked Mrs. Fry.

"Because" said Leela, "you are in grave danger!"

"Danger? What kind of danger?"

Suddenly, on the radio, everyone heard this announcement.

"Be on the lookout for a one eyed alien with purple hair. It is considered extremely dangerous. Do not approach under any circumstances. In fact, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction!"

"Hey, aren't you that alien?" asked Mrs. Fry.

"Yes" said Leela. "But I am not dangerous!"

Everyone heard another announcement.

"Attention all civilians, Arnold Schwarzenegger has been sighted. All single girls please be on the lookout for this hunk who is considered handsome and extremely hunky!"

Just then, the doorbell rang. When Mrs. Fry opened, outside stood Arnold Schwarzenegger, dressed in a DOOP uniform.

"Mrs. Fry?" he asked.

"Yes?" asked Mrs. Fry.

A hidden compartment opened up on Arnold's left leg. He took out a laser gun and aimed it at his target's forehead.

"Prepare to be terminated!" he said.

"It's the cyborg!" said Leela. Reacting quickly, she did a backflip and kicked the cyborg in the face, sending him flying.

"Quick! Let's get out of here now!" said Leela as she took Mrs. Fry's arm and ran outside to the cab.

"What was that thing?" asked Mrs. Fry.

"A cyborg!" said Leela. "That's not Arnold Schwarzenegger! I'll explain later!"

She forced Mrs. Fry into the car before getting in herself.

Arnold stood and opened fire as the cab drove away.

"Now, please tell me" said Mrs. Fry, "what does that thing want with me?"

"Same way I want you" said Leela, "only dead! It's a cyborg from the thirty first century, outfitted with an automatic weapons system, and programmed to kill you!"


"Because of an impact you'll have on the future. It involves your unborn son Phillip J. Fry!"

"How did you know I was going to have a boy?"

"Lucky guess" said Leela. "Now, as I was saying, a sex obsessed sleazebag named Zapp Brannigan has sent this cyborg into the past to kill you before Phillip J. Fry is born."

"How do you know my son?"

"I'm his girlfriend!"

"But that's impossible! I mean, you're from the thirty first century!"

"Your son does become cyrogenically frozen on the eve of the millenium!"

Suddenly, a car slammed against the cab. It was driven by Arnold!

"Oh no!" said Leela. "He's after us!"

"What are we going to do?" asked Mrs. Fry.

"I've got an idea!" said Leela. "I'll need a paper, a match, and something that is flammable!"

Mrs. Fry reached into her pocket and gave Leela a tissue. "Will this help?"

"That will do for now! Now how about a match?"

"Wouldn't the cigarrette lighter work as well?"

"I guess so."

Leela opened the glove compartment. Inside, she found a bottle of hair tonic.

As the terminator slammed his car against the cab again, Leela began to make a bomb with the items.

"Take the wheel!" she said.

Mrs. Fry took the wheel and began to steer.

Leela rolled up the tissue, opened the bottle and placed the tissue inside to make a wick. Then she removed the cigarrette lighter and placed it at the top of the tissue. Finally, she threw out the bomb at the terminator's car.

There was an explosion. The Terminator's car drove out of control and crashed into a tree.

"We did it!" said Leela. "We lost him!"

Out of the car climbed the cyborg. Its skin had burned off, revealing its metal skeleton.

"Uh oh" said Leela. "It'll soon be coming at us! Where's the nearest junk yard? I got another idea!"

A little later, Leela and Mrs. Fry were standing in a junk yard near a trash compactor.

Suddenly, they heard metallic footsteps. Approaching them was the terminator, dragging one leg behind him. It had been damaged in the car crash.

"Over here!" said Leela.

The terminator continued towards her.

As it stepped under the trash compactor, Leela grabbed the lever. "You're terminated screwball!"

She pulled the lever with all her might. There was a mighty crunch as the cyborg was crushed.

When Leela deactivated the compactor, all that was left of the terminator was broken smashed steel.

"We did it!" said Leela. "Mrs. Fry, you're safe now!"

"Can I go home now?" asked Mrs. Fry.

"Yes" said Leela.

"Thank you Leela!" said Mrs. Fry as she ran towards the cab to drive home.

Suddenly, numerous black cars drove up to her. Government agents stepped out and pulled out their handguns.

"One eyed freak, we got you surrounded! Give up and die without resistance!"

"Wait!" cried Mrs. Fry. "She's not dangerous! She saved my life!"

The agents didn't even listen as they approached the trash compactor.

Leela took out the device that Farnsworth had given hear.

"Alright Farnsworth, mission complete! Bring me home!"

The government agents spotted her.

"There it is! Open fire!"

As they began to shoot, a light enveloped Leela and faded. She had disappeared back to the future.

"Welcome back Leela!" said Farnsworth. "I trust you were successful."

"Yes" said Leela. "I've saved Mrs. Fry and by now, she's given birth to Fry. Speaking of which, where's Fry?"

"Back home at his apartment. He's been unconcious for quite some time now."

"How long was I gone for?"

"One hour."

A little later, Leela entered Fry's apartment, just in time to see Fry awaken.

"Whoa, what a nightmare!" he said. "I dreamed that some cyborg from the future killed my mom, so I didn't exist."

"Fry, I did it!" said Leela. "I terminated the cyborg! I've saved your life!"

"Thanks" said Fry. "But why did you just wake me up?"

"Oh, nothing" said Leela with a smile.

Suddenly, the door opened. In came Zapp Brannigan.

"So Leela, how about a...?"

But before he could finish, he saw Fry.

"What the?! You're still alive? How can that be?"

"Let's just say this" said Leela. "About your cyborg, well, hasta la vista baby!"

"What?! You destroyed my robot?! Fine then! I must now resort to plan `B'!"

He pulled out a laser gun and aimed it at Fry.

Leela stood before him. "You'll have to get by me first!" she said.

Zapp hesitated. With a sigh, he lowered the laser pistol.

"Alright you win. But mark my words, I will have you some way or another!"

Zapp stormed out of the apartment.

"What's eating him?" asked Fry.

"Just the bitter taste of frusteration" said Leela.

Fry turned on the television. "Hey look!" he said. "The classic 1984 movie `Terminator' is on next! Wanna watch it?"

"No thanks" said Leela. "I've had enough cyborgs, not including Bender, for a today."

The End