Less Than Hero 2: Enter the Gulk
I don't own Futurama or its characters
Less Than Hero 2: Enter The Gulk
Futurama Main Title appears
“Batteries not included”
Tom and Jerry cartoon
(Just another day at Planet Express and the camera shifts around the building.
There we see Fry, Leela and Bender watching TV. Just then, Zoidberg enters)
Zoidberg: Good News Everyone!
Bender: Whoa moron, that is what the Professor says.
Zoidberg: I know, but this is really good news. Fry, Leela, remember that cream
I bought from that traveling sale man that made you all have super powers?
Leela, Bender and Fry (not caring): yeah sure.
Zoidberg: Well, I have you know that I just remembered I had bought another
tube and maybe you can use it to be superheroes again and maybe thank me this
Fry: Hey, you have another tube of super cream. (Takes cream away in a rude
Zoidberg: (Disappointed) Aww... Why always with the hating on Zoidberg (Walks
Fry: Hey Leela, we can try on this cream and be the New Justice Team again and have superpowers and save the day.
Leela (disapproved): Hell no! Like, I'd want to be Clobberella again. Remember what happened the last time?
Fry: Aww... No
Leela: We just ended up endangering my parents and had to break the law to get them back.
Bender: Don't forget all that other stuff we did, after. (Opens chest to show his spoilers and has a pair a sunglasses
like the ones worn be Matt Murdoch, Daredevil and puts them on) Aww these glasses were worth stealing from some
Fry: Who was he?
Bender: Just some lousy lawyer.
(The Professor enters and Amy right behind him)
Professor: Good news everyone!
Bender: Oh great (takes off and puts back glasses in chest) thats the second time I've heard that line.
Professor: What?...Oh yes, well I have something important to say. Amy is now
a full-time employee. As you know she graduated from Mars U. Last spring.
Fry: Man that was some after party you threw Amy
Amy: Really? I can't really remember.
Bender: That was because you were drunk off your gore, but it wasn't like you did anything embarrassing.
(Opens chest and looks at a couple of pictures he took of Amy that day and says in low volume)
Bender: Hehehehe these pictures are a goldmine at my website.
Professor: Like I was saying, since Amy is now the full-time engineer she will
go on deliveries with you from now on. Yes that should be exciting (starts to
leave) what with all the adventures you have seemly every week.
Bender: Oh great another meatbag to not care about, well it doesn't affect me, Bender. (Continues to view TV)
Leela: Welcome Amy and congratulations to you.
Amy: Thanks Leela, I promise I won't be a bother and I'll try my best to be a good engineer. Man this is so exciting,
I told Kif the news and we have a date this Friday to celebrate.
Fry: yeah well, so Leela, how about we become superheroes and you go out with Captain Yesterday? (Shakes the
Leela: I said no!
Fry: Aw come on! Part of being a superhero is having to redeem yourself after people think you've gone bad.
Leela: Enough, Fry! I'm going to go check on the ship. (Leaves)
Amy: Gleesh, what was that about?
Fry: I have this cream that if you put it on, you get super powers for a short time.
Bender: Yeah but it only works on humans, lucky bastards.
Fry: Bender you were a super hero without the cream, remember, Superking?
Bender: Yeah, you're right!
Amy: Wow real superheros can I try some?
(Next scene Amy, Fry and Bender are in another part of the Plan Ex building
and Fry and Bender have just put on their old costumes)
Fry: Man I'm sure glad we were saving these for Halloween.
Amy: So what happens? (Still in her pink sweatsuit)
Fry: you just rub it on your body and you are a superhero. (Fry begins to rub the cream on and hands tube to Amy,
she just rubs some cream on herself)
Fry: Remember you have to keep taking it because the powers wear off. Now look.
(He grabs a lead pipe and bends it.)
Bender (sarcastically): Wow, look at the human bend metal
Amy: Gool, so what types of powers do I have?
Fry: Maybe you have super strength. Break that table. (Points to it)
(Amy practices her karate and tries to break it, but it doesn't break and she hurts her hand)
Amy: (starts cursing in Martian)
Fry: Aww maybe you can fly?
(She stands on the table and tries to fly, but falls and hits the floor hard. Fry looks on surprised)
Amy: (getting up) what's wrong? You said this cream works on humans?
Fry: yeah well it worked well on Leela and me the last time.
Amy: well how come it doesn't work on me?
Bender: Maybe it is because you are a floozy. Fry and Leela hardly get any and maybe that is why it works on them.
Amy: Why do you continue to make fun of my past lifestyle, Bender? I have a real boyfriend now.
Bender: Yeah an uptight wuss who's Zapp's bitch. (Starts to laugh)
Amy: Bender you better shut up, you are making me mad.
Bender: Oh yeah what are you going to do? Just burst into tears crying or just curse at me in Martian. Plu..ease
(laughs even harder causing Amy to get even angrier)
Amy: You won't like me when I'm mad. (Starts to change color.)
Fry: Aww Amy you are starting to turn Pink.
(Amy's face became pink and her clothes started to tear and just imagine the Hulk pink with an Asian face and with
Amy's hair. She grew to 7 feet tall, causing Bender to stop laughing and give a little scream. She grabs him and
proceeds to beat the crap out of him off camera with Fry visible, reacting to what Amy is doing to Bender. Then all
the fighting stops and we see the monster's shadow as in turns back into Amy. She has on a black bra and pants have
become torn shorts)
Amy: (gasping) what happen? Gluck! I've torn my sweatsuit (Looking at Bender lying on the Floor moaning)
Fry: Amy that was so cool, you were all big and scary and you beat up Bender.
Amy: I did?
Fry: Yeah, don't you remember?
Amy: All I remember is being really mad and that's it.
Fry: That must be your powers, you become a huge monster when you get mad.
You know what this means? You can become part of the New Justice Team. I'm sure
Bender will be happy too when he wakes up. Now all you need, Amy is a name.
Amy: Okay, I better chose a good one. I know, from now on I'll be known as
Fry: (disagrees a little) Eh it sounds good.
(Next scene right at Big Apple Bank, the very same from "Insane in the
Memfane". A couple of Aliens that are like Elzar and really huge show up
wearing dark clothes and are armed with lasers.)
Robber 1: Freeze earthlings! This is an Earthling stick up!
Robber2: (To Teller) Put all your Earthling money in this Earthling bag.
(Everybody is panicking and scared)
Costumer 1: Oh is there no one who can save us?
Captain Yesterday (OC): There's us!
(Everybody looks at the front exit to see The New Justice Team. Amy is wearing a purple suit much like Batgirl,
without the bat logo or bat ears she just has a black mask.)
CY: Freeze bank robbers you are under arrest.
Costumer 2: Hey aren't you those superheroes who were good, but became evil.
Superking: No, that was the old New Justice Team, we are the new, New Justice Team.
All Costumers: Oh
Robber 1: Freeze Earthlings, wearing Earthling costumes.
(Fires ray gun, CY jumps in front of SK and Amy to block the lasers.)
CY: your weapons are no match for me (uses his laser vision to melt both ray
guns) Come team lets beat 'em up. ( CY and SK run into the two while Amy stays
where she was, CY and SK put up a huge fight, but the aliens have great strength
of their own and some both have CY and SK in choke holds) Amy, you have to help
Amy: This looks like a job for the Gulk! (Waits but does nothing)
Amy: I have to get mad, remember?
CY: Right. (Starts to think and turns to SK)
CY (whispers and now barely can speak since the alien's choke hold is strong): Bender make her mad.
SK: Whoa, I'm not making her mad, she'll just kick my ass again.
Amy: No, I won't I'll just save you both.
CY: Come on Bender!
SK: Oh alright. (Clears Throat) Up yours Bimbo!
Amy: Gleesh, Bender can you at least try.
SK: Alright, aw Amy why do you wear that floozy outfit if it's just going to rip when you change.
Amy: Bender! That is what you said before when you first saw me in this suit.
CY: Come on Bender!
SK: Aw forget it! There's not way this floozy with a lousy boyfriend is ever going to save us.
Amy: Bender! (Starts to turn pink and his purple suit starts to rip and the crowd is amazed and shocked for a even
scarier monster is at there presence. The Gulk then races to the aliens and grabs both of them, causing them to let go
of both SK and CY and she beats the crap out both of them of camera.)
CY: Bender you did it, she's the Gulk!
SK: Yeah, another day saved by me. (Just then the Gulk grabs hold of Bender, pulls him of camera and starts beating
him up, with Fry reacting much the same as the first time Gulk beat up Bender. Then the pounding stops)
CY: Yeah well we still have some problems to work out.
( Then the New Justice Team theme song plays. While random scenes are shown with no dialogue to show what
happen during that week. Amy and Fry putting on the cream and along with Bender fighting crime. In one scene,
Fry and Bender are having their hands full with a street gang and Bender says something and makes Amy mad and
she becomes the Gulk and beats up the whole gang and then Bender. Pretty make it is the same thing. Bender makes
Amy mad, she changes and saves the day and beats up Bender. And every time she is wearing different costumes,
like supergirl, storm,.and ELECTRA. Then Friday morning comes around at PlanEx. Everybody is at the conference
table with Amy, Fry, Leela, Bender and the Professor sleeping. That Friday morning.)
Fry: Wow, what a week.
Amy: I know. We've stopped three bank robberies, four muggings and an assassination attempt.
Fry: (to Leela) So, Leela there is still enough cream for one last day as being super heros. Want to try?
Leela: Fry, I've told you I don't want to be a super hero again.
Fry: (disappointed) Okay (To Amy) So, Amy want to go one last day?
Amy: Sorry, but I've decided not to take the cream today, since I have a date with Kif and I don't want to worry
about changing into the Gulk.
Fry: Okay then I guess it is just me and Bender.
Bender: (OC) speak for yourself. (Camera shows that he's in bandages). Thanks to Amy, I don't feel like insulting
anybody anymore. (To Amy) Amy, I thought you said you wouldn't continue to kick my ass?
Amy: Sorry Bender, but it is just that at first when I become the Gulk, I like it and I get carried away. But now I'm
getting the feeling I'm losing control and I could go anything. The more angrier I get the bigger I get.
Bender: You're turning into a monster
Amy: I'm not a monster, I'm a super hero.
Bender: Yeah one that scares people because they think you are going to eat them. (Amy looks sad)
Leela: Bender! (To Amy) Look Amy, maybe it is a good idea, you are not taking that cream today, who knows what
you might end up doing?
Amy: (Fearful) Yeah
Leela: You know Amy your powers are a great, and with great power comes great responsible.
Bender: What idiot sold you that saying?
Fry: You know something bothers me. How come when you change into the Gulk, your bra and the upper part of
your pants still stay on.
Amy: Gluh! Because they are made of a special spandex. They can stretch really long no matter how big I get.
Bender: A Thank your God for that! Seeing you naked as that would be far worse. (Ducks and covers, but Amy
doesn't get mad)
(Next scene. That night just outside of Elzar's and as we pan in we see Kif and Amy. Kif's in his doop uniform,
while Amy in a lovely dress are both drinking wine. Elzar shows up)
Elzar: How are you two love birds doing?
KIf: Oh we are fine.
Elzar: Now I have something great prepared for you two, I can't want until you try the soup. It has the freshest slug
you ever taste. I'll go bring it in, I just have to give it another dose of spice weasel. (Leaves)
Kif: So Amy, I love your new dress.
Amy: Why Thank you Kif. It cost a lot and it's made of a material that is really hard to clean.
Kif: So have you heard the news
Amy: What about?
Kif: about the New Justice Team.
Amy: Oh (smiles)
Kif: People have been talking about that Gulk.
Amy: She's something right?
(Someone from another table overhears and says)
Stan Lee's Head: Yeah a real monster.
Stan Lee's Head's date: Yeah and she is really hideous and provides a bad image of what women should look like.
(Everybody the restaurant nods their head in agreement except for Kif and Amy. Amy is feeling sad)
Amy: So Bender was right
Kif: Excuse me, Amy.
Amy: (whispers) Kif, the Gulk is me. Fry has this cream that gives humans super powers and the Gulk is mine.
Amy: But you don't have to worry, the affects are only temporary and since there is hardly any of this cream left, you
won't have to worry about me turning into that beast anymore.
(She feels ashamed and looks down at the table. Kif is in shock, but then says.)
Kif: It is a shame that you won't by turning into that Gulk anymore.
(Amy looks up in shock that Kif said that)
Kif: I was going to say I liked the Gulk. Every time I read the paper with the Gulk's picture in it, I felt a certain way
that I only feel when I think about you.
Amy: Aren't you scared of her just like everyone.
Kif: Amy you are unique and because you are unique the world may not tolerate you, but I will.
Amy: Aww Kif (starts to get teary and then kisses Kif)
Kif: So the Gulk is really gone for good?
Amy: Yup and there is just me.
(Elzar shows up with the soups)
Elzar: Here you are you two... oops (trips and spills the soup right on Amy, messing up her dress) Ma'am I'm
Amy: My dress...(starts to turn pink and her dress rips and she turns into the Gulk. Everybody in the room is shocked
and so is Kif. The Gulk grabs Elzar and throws him across the room. She destroys the tables in the room and breaks
through the walls and runs out into downtown NNY. Kif runs out the wall to see the Gulk cause damage as she walks
down the street)
Stan Lee's Head: Why does bad things happen when I'm at a public place? It's been like this for years.
Kif: Oh My God! Amy!
Elzar: (From inside) Cancel the main course.
(Next scene. Saturday morning outside of the PlanEx building Leela, Fry and
Bender show up)
Fry: I can't believe the Professor made us come to work on Saturday
Bender: I can't believe he gets me to come to work at all.
Leela: Alright thats enough from both of you (they all enter and see the Professor) What is it Professor?
Professor: Good News Everyone!
Bender: Oy here we go again
Professor: I just...(just then Kif runs in out of breath)
Kif: Amy's gone mad and she turned into the Gulk and is causing damage.
Leela: How can she if she hasn't taken any cream?
Professor: I was getting to that, before I was interrupted. Follow me everybody.
(He shows them to a room where he has two test tubes filled with blood)
Professor: Here are Amy's and Fry's DNA that I took from them recently.
Fry: I don't remember letting you take some of my DNA
Professor: (Panicked) Yes you do so shut up. (Calm) Now look what happens to
each test tube once I add one drop of that cream.(Fry's Test Tube starts bubbling,
while Amy's doesn't) Now look, (yells at Amy's test tube) you call yourself blood!
(Amy's blood boils everybody is surprised except for Bender who thinks this is
a waste of time)
According to my calculations the affects of the cream on Fry's blood should wear off in a few seconds. (Fry's blood
stops boiling) However, look at Amy's. (Yells) You are nothing more then cheap Hawaiian punch. (Amy's blood
boils and explodes)
Leela: So what does this mean?
Professor: I was getting to that. Apparently, the cream has a different effect
on Amy since she is from Mars. It causes her powers to last longer and since she
has been taking the cream all week, I'm afraid that it has prolonged her powers
Kif: Why is that, Professor?
Professor: Well it may be due to the Gamma Ray exposure
Kif, Leela and Fry: Gramma Rays?!
Professor: Yes centuries ago Mars was used as a test planet for gamma ray weapons, but after a while it was decided
to make Mars a place for people to live. The people who lived on Mars developed an immunity to the gamma ray
exposure and passed it down to their descents i.e. Amy. The cream burrowed into her skin into her gamma ray
exposed DNA and blended together causing it to spread across her body allowing her to transform into the Gulk. The
cream seems to respond to anger for some reason.
Kif: How do we stop it?
Professor: Well, I'm working on a filter that will remove the elements of the
cream from her body, but we, by which I mean you four, are going to have to get
Amy to calm down so she can change back to normal to be filtered, otherwise she'll
never be back to normal.
(Just then a news break appeared on the TV with Morbo and Linda)
Linda: And that puppy never bothered anyone again. In other news, the Gulk the super hero we praised but didn't
trust or tolerate completely has run amuck in New New York. (Shows clip of The Gulk causing destruction in the
outskirts of New New York) Doop officers are responding and are being led by Zapp Brannigan after just defeating
the evil army of the Boy Scout Nebula.
Leela and Kif: Oh great
Morbo: Morbo was a fan of the Gulk and he still is may her victims' deaths be slow and horrible.
(Linda laughs. Kif turns off the TV)
Kif: We've got to save Amy. Knowing Zapp he'll sacrifice all his men to destroy Amy.
Leela: We have to get to Amy before he does.
(Next scene Leela, Fry, Bender and Kif are walking around the area where the Gulk was last seen. The Gulk has
destroyed a dozen buildings and looks like a typical alien invasion.)
Bender: Who are we looking for again? (After coming out of a store putting a mini TV set in his chest
(Just then Zapp in a Doop Tank followed by the Doop army show up and stops when they see the PE crew.)
Zapp: Aww the lovely Leela, come to wish good luck to your hero.
Leela: Go shove it, Zapp!
Zapp: Kif, there you are while your planet is endangered, you slack off.
Kif: *Signs* Sir, I'm looking for my girlfriend.
Zapp: Kif, I'm shocked no disgusted, pretending to have a girlfriend as an excuse to get out of work.
(Just them The Gulk comes out of one the broken down building and roars like Hell)
Kif: Look, (points) there she is.
(Zapp turns around and sees that the Gulk is now 10 feet tall. She jumps 5 stories onto the ground causing a huge
rumble and destroys a few tanks as she runs away from the gang)
Zapp: My God!.... Kif that is your girlfriend! I mean, I know you are desperate and unattractive, but come on Kif you
can't sink that low..
Leela (ignoring Zap) come on we have to talk to her.
Fry: What do we do? Aw man things couldn't get any worse.
(But it does. Saucers from the planet Omicron Persei 8 come and start to blast a few buildings)
Bender: And you wonder why people call you an idiot.
(Doop tanks have already left while Kif and the gang stay and watch from Bender's new mini TV set to view the
news when they get interrupted
Lrr (on TV): Attention People of Earth, I am Lrr ruler of the planet Omicron
Persei 8 and we have come to destroy your planet.
Fry: (annoyed) Aw, what is it this time?
Lrr: We are unhappy about what you've made us watch on our TV sets. Reality shows, nothing but lousy reality
shows. You cancelled some of the best shows and replaced them with this crap. For that you all must pay dearly.
(Just this someone off camera is talking to Lrrr) What was that? What, a new reality show?! Ahhh!!! prepare for the
immediate destruction of Earth! Transmission over.
Fry: Crap the ghosts of those 20th century FOX executives from the 20th century must be turning over in their graves.
Bender: What were they thinking? They denied the world great programming for fifteen minutes of fame crap, but
they decided to extend that crap because it was cheaper to hire losers than pay millions of dollar for quality shows.
Leela: Be that as is may we must stop Lrrr, we can't let his totally justified rage destroy us.
Kif: But, what about Amy?
Leela: Here's the plan, Kif you go stop Zapp and try to get through Amy's head, while Fry, Bender and me go stop
Bender: But how?
Leela: Simple, we won't stop him, but the New Justice Team will.
Fry: You mean you are going to use the cream?
Leela: (annoyed) Yes, Fry Clobberella is back!
(Next Scene features Fry, Leela and Bender, all dressed up standing on a hill
while the sun is rising and shining on them)
Leela: Hey wait I thought I threw this costume out.
Fry: Yeah well I was sort of saving it for this moment
(Leela just signs)
(Next scene the flying saucer is blasting parts of New New York, while the NJT show up on the ground to see the
Clobberella: Captain Yesterday. Climb that building and try to jump on that flying saucer and destroy its lasers.
Superking and I well do the same to those other two saucers.
CY: Yes sir, Aw I mean ma'am!
SK: Man I wish I was with the green wuss in stopping that big fat pink freak.
(Next scene is on the other side of town with the Gulk being shot at by the doop army.)
Soldier on a helicopter: I have her locked on. (We see from the guiding system a clear look of the Gulk with a mean
look on her face. The missile fires and the Gulk just jumps really high to avoid the blast. The Gulk starts jumping
across the street only he comes between two doop tanks fire lasers at her. She rips the cannon part of one tank and
uses it as a weapon to smash it into the ground. She grabs the cannon part of the other tank and lifts the tank and
spins to sending in hurling into the air and crashes in New Jersey. The two soldiers come out.
Soldier: Man she should think about working for an amusement park. That was fun. (The other soldier just vomits.)
(Scene cuts to Zapp in a tank talking on radio)
Zapp: Men, increase forces and continue with the heavy firing.
Soldier: Sir, she is heading for the Statue of Liberty.
Zapp: My God she plans on carving her own face on our beloved statue.
(The Gulk reaches the bay makes a big leap and lands on liberty island where she meets Kif)
Kif: Amy, it is me. I love you, why are you doing this (the Gulk approaches
him with a mean look snarling) Amy remember what I said back at Elzar's I meant
every word. Your friends need your help the really monsters are invading Earth.
(She grabs him) Please Amy listen to reason. (The Gulk stops snarling and speaks)
The Gulk (in Amy's voice): Kif?
(She lets go of Kif and starts to shrink and reverts back to Amy with the black bra and ripped pants. She looks weak
and falls to her knees and Kif runs to her and gives her a big hug)
Kif: Oh Amy I missed you so.
Amy: (weak) I missed you so Kif, I love you
Zapp (OS): Fire! (Tanks onboard ships firing lasers causing Amy to grow again)
Kif: Amy No! Fight it!
Amy: I can't ! ( she turns into the Gulk and jumps to one of the ships with Zapp onboard. She grabs the tank with
Zapp in it and smashes it like pounding something with a sledgehammer. Zapp comes out dazed.)
Zapp: By my command, retreat. (Faints)
Kif: (yelling) Amy your friends need you, you must help them.
The Gulk (in a deep voice): Frrr..friends.
(She jumps off the ship and heads for the mainland)
(Next Scene. The NJT is busy fighting the Omicronian saucers. Lrr plans his attacks with his wife, Ndnd)
Lrr: First, we will destroy this Joe Millionaire, then Mr. Personality, then all the survivors and if we have time left,
the first 100 American Idols.
Ndnd: Lrr, We are picking up some humans attacking some of our ships.
Lrr: Let me see, (looks at screen) what are they wearing? There desire to wear their underwear on the outside
infuriates us even more! Fire the lasers!!
(Lasers fire at The NJT knocking each other them off the saucer they were fighting. They all land on the ground and
are under lock by Lrr ray)
SK: What happened?
Clobberella: Lrr blasted at us and now he has us pinned down.
CY: Oh no! I think my powers are gone!
Clobberella: Mine too, well Fry I'll miss you and even you Bender.
Bender: Yeah I'll miss me too.
(Just then the Gulk comes out of nowhere and blocks the laser blast and jumps
straight at Lrr's ships. She grabs it and lands back down on the ground and throws
it back into space like a Frisbee. Then she does the same thing to all the other
Lrr: Blasted! We have been defeated and now we have to put up with a piece
of crap called, Banzai?! (screams of anger)
(Next scene is back at PlanEx with everybody all around and Amy's back to normal being hooked up to a machine.
The machine makes noises, but then stops and a bell sound is made)
Professor: Amy your DNA has been filtered from the cream. You are back to normal.
Amy: Thank God. I was starting to run out of sweatsuits.
Zoidberg: Amy now that you've had the pleasure of being a super hero, maybe now you can thank Zoidberg?
Amy: Gleesh Zoidberg, that cream was a curse on me and you're a curse to everybody in this room.
(Everyone gives signs of agreement) But that is why we love you.
Zoidberg: Hurray! Acceptance! (Runs out happy)
Kif: So, Amy are you really okay?
Bender: Let me check. So Amy I heard your wussy boyfriend has to give Zapp sponge baths for what you did to him.
(Starts to laugh)
Amy: (mad) Bender!
(Everyone takes cover, but Amy stays the same)
Bender: Yes, now I can go back to insult her.
Kif: I don't care what Bender says, I'm glad you are back and I couldn't be happier.
Amy: Thank you Kif, but being the Gulk taught me a few things. To stand up for yourselves and (Kicks Bender right
in the chest, knocking him down and moans in pain) to not take guff from Bender.
Fry: Here! Here! ( the camera pans away from the Building)
Please be nice it is my first fanfiction.