Fan Fiction

I Wanna Play My Holophonor
By Dwayne Anderson

Note From the Author: This is set immediately after "The Devil's Hands Are Idol Playthings".

The image from the holophonor faded as Fry stopped playing.

Leela: Fry, that was the most beautiful opera I've ever seen! And to think you wrote it!

Fry: I just wish everyone else liked it the way you did.

Leela: It was great, at least until after you switched hands back with the robot devil. Still, an opera about me, that's the most thoughtful thing anyone's ever done!

Fry put his holophonor inside his suit and stepped off the stage.

Fry: Let's go meet the others.


Outside the opera, Fry and Leela met their fellow co-workers.

Hermes: Fry, great opera! At least until the ending.

Amy: It was fantastic! At least the first half was!

Leela: Well, I'm just glad everything is back to normal.

Fry smiles.

Fry: I wouldn't say that Leela. Things have changed.

Leela: I got my hearing restored after the robot devil vanished with Richard Nixon.

Fry: Don't worry, he'll be back.

Leela: The robot devil?

Fry: No, Richard Nixon. At least I think so.

Bender: And I got my ass back after the robot devil took back the air horn. After that, I finally told him to bite my shiny metal ass!

Leela: I can't believe I almost married myself to that metallic piece of scrap!

Zoidberg is still reading his eight copies of the newspaper.

Fry: Zoidberg, can I have some paper?

Zoidberg: Oh I'm sorry.

He cuts off a shred with his claws and gives it to Fry.

Zoidberg: There you go! And there's plenty more where that came from!

Leela: What are you reading anyway? The funnies?

Zoidberg: No

Fry: Entertainment? Hoping for some news of Harold Zoid?

Zoidberg: Not even close. I'm reading about how your opera went from best opera of all time, to worst opera of all time!

Farnsworth: Fry, I am banning you from playing your holophonor. At least when we're around!

Fry: Damn!

Leela: It's alright Fry. I loved your opera and your music, even if you do have stupid hands.

Amy: And I like all kinds of guys, mostly Kif.

Suddenly, Fry's co-workers begin to sing.

Leela: I liked all guys, all kinds of guys,
With the exception, of Zapp Brannigan,
I'd like them even when they're short or fat!

Fry: I wanna play my holophonor!

Farnsworth: Now cut that out!

Leela: And when they offer me a kiss,
They'd give me fruit or popcorn.
Although with Fry I've fallen in love...

Fry: When I played my holophonor!

Farnsworth: Fry!

Zoidberg: I loved only one girl in life,
Her was Edna, my one and only dove,
But in the end my heart was broken,
When to the emperor, she made love!

Amy: I met Kif on the Titanic,
Gave him my number, but for a year,
He called everyday and stuttered,
That was all I could hear!

He put me off with Zapp's pickup lines,
Because at the love game, he was new,
But after escaping from that planet,
We eventually had some snu-snu!

Two years later we are in love,
We already have children growing,
Even today we're together,
Because the seeds of love are sowing!

Farnsworth: I had only one woman in life,
She owned a company, her name was MOM,
We build robots running on booze,
But in the end, from her I had to run!

Bender: On the Titanic, I met a special girl,
She was rich, winning her over was my goal,
Things were going great between us,
Until she got sucked into that black hole!

Hermes: I'm married to a special woman,
Between us, we had a son named Dwight,
Being a husband and father isn't easy,
Especially when the boy, can't tell wrong from right!

Fry: I like all girls all kinds of girls,
From Michelle to Umbriel of the sea,
But most of all I love Turanga Leela,
Now I wanna play my holophonor!

Farnsworth: Alright Fry, make a fool of yourself! Play your holophonor!

Fry begins to play the holophonor. An image of each of his friends dancing with their soulmates, or would be soulmates appears. Zoidberg is with Edna, Bender with the Countess, Amy is with Kif, Hermes with his wife, Farnsworth with MOM. And finally, Leela is dancing with Fry.

Each of Fry's friends and co-workers were delighted. Even Farnsworth was impressed, even despite the fact that the music wasn't as good as when Fry still had the hands of the robot devil.


Later, that night, at his apartment, Fry was getting ready for bed. He had finally won the heart of Turanga Leela, something for him to be proud of. The future looked bright.

Bender came into the room.

Bender: Fry, could I borrow your holophonor for a while?

Fry: Sure, knock yourself out.

Bender takes the holophonor.

Fry: Good night Bender. Tomorrow is another day.

Bender takes his leave.

As Fry climbs into bed and falls asleep, he smiles at the thought that his life would never be the same after tonight. It was now much better.

Meanwhile, in his room, Bender was playing the holophonor. An image appeared of him, dancing with the Countess on board the Titanic.

Countess: Bender, don't you just wish this moment could last forever?

Bender: Yes, but after a while, I have to stop playing the holophonor and go to sleep until morning. On the other hand, there's nobody here except you and me.

They kiss.


The End