The Night Before Xmas

Poem by Mitch

With apologies to Clement C. Moore

It was the night before Xmas and all through the ship,
Not a being was stirring, not even the robotic once pimp.

The stockings were hung by the afterburners with care,
In the hopes that a dressed up delivery boy would be there.

The children, parents, and staff were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Popplers danced in their heads.

And Nibbler in his jammies and I in a pajama shirt green,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s dream.

When out on the bridge there arose such a noise,
I wondered if it were Amy “fooling around” with her boy.

Away to my door I flew like a buggilo,
Ran to the bridge almost expecting a “show”.

A passing moon brought through the window its light
Giving a luster of midday to objects inside,

When, to my wandering eye should befall,
But a familiar red suit walking through the hall.

When a bit of red hair pocking from under his can caught my eye,
I knew in a moment it must by Philip Fry.

As I turned my head, and he was turning around,
Down to the afterburners Fry came with a bound.

He was dressed all in imitation fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were not usually tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of stuff he had flung on his back,
And he looked like Bender opening his swag.

His eyes how they twinkled! His lower lip how quaint.
His blushed cheeks were now like roses, his nose like a grape.

His wide smile was drawn up like a bow.
And the fake beard on his chin was as white as fake snow.

A Zuban cigar he held tight in his mouth,
And the smoke, it made circles as he coughed.

He had a cute face and a round little stomach
That shook, when he coughed, like he would vomit.

He was scrawny but firm, a jolly young man.
And I laughed when a saw him throw his cigar in a can.

A wink of his eye when he turned to see me,
Soon gave me to know I was the one he wanted to see.

He spoke not a word, but unusually went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings (and I once thought him a jerk),

And as soon as he lay his finger aside of his nose,
I gave him a tissue, so he could blow.

He sprang up the stairs and blew me a kiss,
And away he ran up to his and Bender’s room before he was missed.

But I heard him whisper as he hurried out of sight,
"Happy Xmas Leela, and to all a good night."

Happy Holidays!